It is only human not to be strong all the time. You don’t have to bear every burden all alone.
And yet, that was exactly what she had tried to do. What she was still trying to do. Every time sorrow or pain befell her, Elaina welcomed the added weight upon her shoulders. Rejecting every offer of help, she had fought every uphill battle on her own. Just like she was doing now.
The men continued to fight, but unable to sit any longer Elaina did her best to stand. When she was upright, she looked down at the glass slippers. They had begun to glow, rainbow spirals ribboning out as the heat within her increased. Even now, she was trying to contain all the power on her own. The slippers were trying to pull it from her, but she was trying to deny it from even them. She was holding back. But why? What did she have to lose? Pride like Matilda? A squabble with her dead father?
Nicholas’s life.
Matilda had been wrong. Elaina’s strength wasn’t just about pride, nor was it only about proving herself right. Elaina needed to be strong to save those she loved.
But what if she wasn’t strong enough? What if she hurt him?
Elaina closed her eyes and tested the world around her. Sure enough, she could feel power emanating from the slippers themselves. And from the front of the boat, she could feel strength as cool and confident as steel. So much strength she had tried to push away over her lifetime. Her father and her mother. Her aunt. Her cousin. Cynthia. And Nicholas. So much from Nicholas.
“Very well,” she whispered to the sky. “I will try.”
The burning inside her had heated to a heavy boil, sending her defenses hissing into nothingness like steam. Elaina closed her eyes and tried to focus as she unwound her body, like unwinding a spring. Removing her own walls would have been difficult enough on any day, but now it was nearly impossible. She began to shake as she worked to loosen her muscles one at a time. The process took so long that she began to wonder if she would ever succeed, when blood-red light filled her vision.
Elaina screamed as the hundreds of gifts were torn from her body. The abilities that had raged inside for the last day now seemed to cling to her soul as she struggled to set them free. Forcing her eyes to stay open, Elaina looked down and realized that the red light was seeping from her veins and into the air, where it was sucked into the vortex that now swirled around her feet.
Alastair’s cry tore through the dusk as well. When Elaina pulled her gaze from her slippers to look up, he and Nicholas were no longer fighting. Instead, Alastair had fallen to his knees. Red light was being sucked from him as well, its long tail snaking across the boat and into the vortex.
Elaina’s heart sped even faster. Far too fast. Clutching her chest, she doubled over. She had let some of her walls fall, but they weren’t enough. She had yet to stop fighting. But she didn’t know how. And she couldn’t hold on much longer.
Then Nicholas was at her side, leaning forward against the blood-red gales. “I’m here!” he shouted over the chaos. “You can do this!”
“I’m trying,” she whimpered.
“Don’t try.” He placed a cool hand on her searing cheek. “Just let go.”
“But if I let go, you’ll die.”
“And if that’s the Maker’s will, nothing will change it.”
Elaina pried her eyes open to stare into his. Where she thought she might see fear, there was none. Bright blue, they were melded to hers, and in them was only determination.
“I want to let go . . .” She shook her head. “But I can’t—”
“For once, would you stop fighting?” he shouted, pressing himself forward until his face was inches from hers. “For once, just let me love you!”
Then his lips were on hers. Pulling her close, he buried one hand in her hair and the other held her tightly against him at the small of her back.
Elaina’s first reaction was to push away. He didn’t understand the danger. He couldn’t.
Yet he didn’t let go.
She couldn’t recall the last time she had felt so secure. His words from the balcony came back to her.
My safety is not your decision to make.
Nicholas was a man. A soldier. A prince. He had seen war and death, and he had come face-to-face with pure evil. All for her. He had made his decision. And with that in mind, Elaina made hers. In the comfort and safety of his arms, she felt the rest of her defenses fall.
She surrendered.
A new kind of heat rolled down her body, starting in her lips and rushing down into her feet. She gasped at the sensation, looking down just in time to see the glass slippers glowing red and blue, so bright they were nearly blinding.
You’ve done your part, the stars called. Now let them go.
Leaning on Nicholas for support, Elaina stepped out of the slippers. “Go!” she cried. He pulled her to the center of the boat, between the shoes and where Alastair lay face down on the boat’s floor. She clung to Nicholas as they watched the shoes radiate brighter and brighter before bursting into flame.
Elaina and Nicholas ducked as a heat wave rolled out, and a great cracking echoed across the water.
When they opened their eyes again, the slippers were no more. All that was left of the shoes were two glowing embers surrounded by small piles of ash.
64
A Strange Gift
“I think we had better go,” Nicholas said as they stared at the thickening smoke rising from the embers. He grabbed Elaina’s hand and she let him pull her into the water. They surfaced just in time to see the entire boat go up in flames.
Nicholas continued to float at the surface with ease, but Elaina slipped beneath the waves. She tried to swim, but her arms were devoid of any strength.
As she sank, one of Nicholas’s strong arms shot out and wrapped around her waist. Pulling her up against his shoulder, he began the slow swim back to shore.
The distance between shore and where Elaina had rowed to hadn’t seemed so far until he had to haul them back. Elaina’s conscience scolded her for allowing him to do so much physical work on her behalf, but for the first time in a long time, she ignored it and simply let him carry her.
When they finally reached the dock, Nicholas used one arm to pull himself up out of the water then turned and hauled her up after him. This should have brought relief, except that she began shivering violently as soon as she was out. The heat of the day was gone, and the shock of what she had just survived made her feel as though her bones might simply shatter against each other.
Nicholas carried her to the edge of the dock and set her down gently on a low stone wall before striding to a nearby storage shack. He gave the door several hard shoves with his shoulder. When it opened, he disappeared briefly before returning with a large wool blanket. Lifting her like a small sick child, he wrapped the blanket around both of them until all that was left uncovered were their heads. Once they were wrapped in the blanket together, he set her in his lap and pulled her tightly against him and began rubbing her back in rapid circles.
“W . . . w . . . what are y . . . you doing?” Elaina’s mind was far from clear, but even in her muddled state, she knew that their current situation was far from proper.
He didn’t stop. Instead he began rubbing her arms. “You just survived dark enchantment, abduction, hunger, and drowning. I’m not about to lose you to the cold.”
Elaina was too cold to argue, and the heat and strength of his hands were comforting, so she said nothing more.
They sat that way for a long time, her leaning against him and him fighting to keep her warm. He had to get new blankets from the shed twice before her shivering slowed enough that she could talk without her teeth chattering.
When she was finally warm enough to sit on her own beside him, he allowed it, but he insisted on keeping the blanket wrapped around them both to trap the heat. That was fine with her. Despite his shirt being soaked, she could feel the warmth of his skin through the material, and somewhere beneath her fear and exhaustion, girlish delight squealed silently ins
ide as he wrapped his muscled arms around her.
“Shouldn’t we find someone to tell our families we’re well?” she finally wondered aloud.
He shook his head. “My men will eventually find us. And you’re in no shape to walk anywhere. We’ll be best off if we wait here and keep you warm.”
Bolstered by the heat that was finally seeping back into her body, Elaina examined the deserted dock more closely. “I don’t believe I’ve been to this dock before.”
“Probably not. We’re quite a bit south of Kaylem. Only fishermen use this area much.” He squinted down at her. “Are you alright?”
Knowing he was asking about more than her temperature, Elaina leaned against his shoulder. “No.” Then she gave him a tired smile. “But I will be.”
He brushed his fingers against her right temple where Alastair’s knife had made its marks, Nicholas’s dark brows knitting together.
“They’ll heal,” she said softly, catching his hand and pulling it away. Then she gave a rueful laugh. “I might be horribly disfigured from now on, but I’ll survive.”
“Nothing could disfigure you.” He leaned down and kissed her temple.
Elaina closed her eyes and soaked in the way his lips felt against her skin. “In most noble circles, facial scars aren’t exactly en vogue with the ladies.” She opened her hands and examined her palms. “Of course, neither are callouses.”
“Elaina.” He pulled away so he could look her straight in the eye. “I want you to tell me truthfully. What did those people do to you?”
She looked away. “Last night? Or in Solwhind?”
“Does it matter?”
Elaina hesitated. The bruises were gone. Matilda would never again whip her, nor would Dinah or Alison mock her or strike her or throw food at her. She was free. Still, a single tear coursed down her cheek.
Nicholas wiped it away with his thumb and pulled her into his chest. She tucked her head beneath his chin and tried to steady her breathing. “I tried to be strong.”
“They will pay for this.” His deep voice resonated in his chest.
But Elaina pushed away and looked him in the eyes. His angled face looked as though it had been chiseled from stone, unmoving and full of wrath.
“According to the law, Nicholas. Justice, not revenge.”
“Nothing the law can do will be enough to satisfy their debt.” For the first time, his voice shook. “Elaina, you can’t understand what it was like lying there every night, agonizing over all the ways you might be suffering. Starving, beaten, or even worse, if some degenerate excuse of a man had found you . . .” He shook his head and tightened his arms around her. “Some nights I thought I might go mad. And even worse was knowing it was my fault.”
“It wasn’t your fault.” She sighed. “I can only imagine Benedict’s glee upon hearing the charges.” She tried to smile. “If I couldn’t be here, though, Destin would have been what I wanted as well.” She paused for a moment, remembering the conversation she’d overheard between Alastair and Matilda. “Alastair was behind my switch in ships, but even his plans were thwarted when I was placed on the wrong one.”
“And I’m supposed to be thankful for that?”
She thought for a moment and nodded. “I might have been made a slave in Matilda’s house, but if Alastair had got his way, I would have been his as soon as we left port.”
Nicholas grunted. “She’s still going to pay for what she did. They all are.”
“There’s been too much bloodshed already.” Elaina stared up at the stars that were softly serenading them from above. The melody was peaceful, and the events of the last few years seemed a million miles away.
He was silent for a moment. When he answered, his voice was softer, almost a whisper. “You’re right. There has been too much blood.” He gently pushed her off his arm and pulled a small pouch from where it hung around his neck beneath his shirt. “I want to show you something. It got me through the war.” He pulled the pouch open and held it upside down. Something small and shiny fell into his hand.
“I’ve carried this with me since the day we had our first dance practice,” he said quietly, staring at the object in his palm. “You were the first thing I ever saw that I understood I truly needed.” He held his hand up so Elaina could see.
Glinting in the moonlight, two silver bands were melded together by a swirling silver filigree. A round blue stone sat between the two bands, the same clear blue as Nicholas’s eyes. Other smaller stones, every color of the rainbow, dotted the filigree around the rest of the ring.
“It’s wondrous,” Elaina breathed, her heart skipping a beat. Then she looked up at Nicholas. “You’ve really been carrying it around all this time?”
He pulled the ring closer and peered at it in the light of the moon. “This ring got me through battles, injuries, men lost, battles won knowing I was taking the lives of my own people.” He swallowed and cleared his throat.
“I hated it at first after you left. It reminded me of all the ways I’d mistreated and taken you for granted. I nearly tossed it into the ocean once.” He shook his head. “But as the darkness began to close in, it reminded me too much of you. When blood ran red, its shine was still pure.” He met Elaina’s eyes and held her gaze miserably. “Just like you.”
Elaina couldn’t have looked away if she’d wanted to. So many nights she’d languished over this man, sure he had found someone new. Sure he no longer cared for her and that she had lost him forever, particularly considering the cruel words she had left him with on the palace steps, refusing to forgive the wrong he so desperately needed to be released from.
“What is it?” he asked. “You’re not usually this quiet.”
“You’re so different,” she whispered.
He gave her a tired smile. “Must be the uniform.”
She cautiously reached up and ran her finger along the scar on his face. He closed his eyes and exhaled as she did. “It’s something more,” she said. “You were a boy when I left.”
“Don’t remind me.”
“But the man you’ve become . . .” She gave a little laugh. “I feel like I hardly know you. Of course,” she fingered one of the buttons on his shirt, “the uniform certainly doesn’t hurt. I’ve always liked a man in uniform.”
Before she knew it, his lips were on hers and he was pulling her closer. She leaned in willingly, hungrily as he kissed her. And as he did, the remaining ropes that had held her heart down were loosed. Her heart soared, beating freely for the first time in years.
“Elaina Starke,” he broke away, breathing heavily as he placed his forehead against hers. “I’ll never be able to atone for the man I was when we met, but I can beg your permission to try for the rest of my life.”
Elaina choked out a laugh as tears ran freely down her face.
“Elaina, will you marry me?”
“Yes. Yes, yes, yes!” She placed her hands on his neck and pulled him down for another kiss. As they kissed, Nicholas found her hand with his and slid the ring down her fourth finger.
* * *
How long they sat that way, kissing, laughing, and weeping, Elaina couldn’t tell nor did she wish to. Eventually, however, she began to feel hungry, realizing with a shock how long it had been since her last meal.
“I know you wish to wait for your men, but would it hurt to help them find us by at least reaching a road of some sort?”
“Can you ride your horse without falling off?” He looked at her with concern.
“I think so.”
“Very well. But let me know if you need me to carry you.”
She smiled up at him as he stood. “I will.”
His eyes widened. “Is that Elaina Starke I’m hearing? Did she actually just agree to let me help her?”
Elaina laughed and gave his arm a weak swat as they made their way to the horses. “I’m afraid you’re not the only one who needs to make an apology.”
“Oh really?”
She leaned into him as they w
alked. “I was so determined to be in control . . . to prove my father wrong, really, that I pushed away everyone and everything that might have helped me. Including you.” She looked up at him. “If I have learned anything during my time in Solwhind . . . and our return, it’s that I am not in control of the world. Nor should I be.” She chuckled. “Perhaps that’s why the stars are always so cryptic.”
“It would have been nice if they had been a little more specific about the dagger. Or Alastair, for that matter.”
“The Maker has spoken to me my whole life through the stars,” she said, “but I could never understand why they wouldn’t simply tell me everything. Instead, they were often vague or only told me enough to get a certain job done. I’ve begun to wonder, however, if the Maker perhaps isn’t simply desirous for each job’s completion, but that he’s also concerned with how I approach each job he gives me. Not telling me everything forces me to trust and rely on him and other.” She felt strangely shy as she peeked up at him. “I think I’ve finally learned that complete control will never be mine. Nor should it be.”
He gave her a sly smile. “And when did you learn that?”
“Tonight.” She pulled him down for another kiss. “I also have learned tonight that relinquishing control can be nice.”
“Unfortunately,” he smirked, “if you plan on marrying the prince of Ashland, I get the feeling you shall need to take control sometimes whether you want to or not.” His eyes glinted wickedly as he grinned down at her.
“And why is that?”
“I’m told the prince of Ashland is rather stubborn sometimes. Much like a mule. The princess, whomever she may be, will probably be charged by the king with keeping him in line.”
“Be careful with that kind of talk. Give me too much freedom, and I’ll make you into a respectable prince.”
He let out a belly laugh. “Now where is the fun in that?”
Epilogue
Getting Started
Elaina recovered quickly once they were discovered by Nicholas’s guards and whisked back to the palace, where her mother was brought and Elaina was attended to by the best physicians in the land. Nicholas visited her numerous times each day, often having to be chased away by both their mothers and ordered to eat.
Cinders, Stars, and Glass Slippers: A Retelling of Cinderella Page 43