Lucas opened the door and stepped into the large common room. He glanced quickly toward the kitchen. Sophie’s soft voice mingled with Joseph’s. Dishes rattled. His brother made it a habit of helping his wife clean the supper dishes every night.
Warmth flowed through him. Images of Tori, standing in front of the hearth at her cabin, smiling warmly at him as he returned from a successful hunt, flooded his mind. She’d welcome him with open arms. It was a scene that he’d conjured before, but never recognized it for what it was - the thought of a home and woman waiting for him. No, not just any woman. Only Tori would do.
Lucas made his way down the short hall to his childhood room when his parents moved from their smaller cabin further in the mountains to settle in this valley more than a dozen years ago. He stopped, and touched the handle. Faint light drifted from under the door. He hesitated, then lifted his hand and knocked.
“Tori?” he called quietly, and waited. There was no answer. He knocked again. “Tori, can we talk?”
Lucas expected some sarcastic retort, but there was only silence. He leaned his forehead against the door, fighting the urge to simply barge into the room. He softly pounded the wood with his fist.
“I love you, Tori. Please come out here so I can look at you when I say it again.”
More silence. Had she fallen asleep? A sudden jolt gripped him. She wouldn’t have . . . Hell yes, she would. He pushed down on the handle, and burst through the door. His eyes roamed the empty room.
“Damn that fool of a woman,” he growled, and stared at the open window.
Chapter 18
Tori pressed her back tightly against the wall of the cabin. Lucas was heading for the front door as if he had fire ants in his britches. The moment he disappeared through the door, she darted to the nearby cluster of cottonwoods. Quickly, she moved from one tree to the next, keeping to the shadows. Faint light coming from several windows in the house might still be bright enough to make her visible to anyone looking.
She squinted into the darkness toward the barn. She could hide out in there, but it would be the first place Lucas would look once he discovered her missing. No doubt that pig-headed man would think she had run off again.
Damn! She should have just climbed back through the window, buried herself under the covers of the bed, and feigned sleep. After her crying spell, she’d sat on the unfamiliar mattress, glancing at her surroundings. The room was sparsely furnished with the bed, a simple dresser, and a chair. The oil lamp on the dresser provided the only source of light. A faint masculine scent, something she’d associated with Lucas, lingered in the air, and Tori’s heart had sped up in response.
Fresh tears had threatened to spill from her eyes. Why had she allowed her feelings for Lucas Walker to take over her mind and heart? His words and actions were confusing, to say the least. The way he kissed her, looked at her, and spoke words of admiration had led her to falsely believe that he harbored stronger feelings for her than simply a man desiring a woman.
When you see the most amazing, beautiful thing, you don’t think about what’s proper, cause you can’t stop looking.
His words haunted her. Why would Lucas see her as a desirable female? She dressed in dirty britches and ragged shirts, and probably smelled about as pleasant as a bear wallowing in bison dung. Her hair hung in disheveled strands down her back most of the time. She hadn’t had access to a brush to detangle the snarls and knots since before the wolverine attacked her.
Tori’s hand shot to her chest. The wound the animal inflicted on her was nearly healed. It was high time she removed the stitches. Lucas had sewn her up well. There would only be minimal scarring. A tentative smile spread across her lips. Would Lucas think she’d been stronger than the wolverine, which had given her the scar? He seemed to be proud of his own scars, just as he was proud of his wild and wandering ways. Not the kind of man who sought to put down roots somewhere.
The walls in the room had become too confining all of a sudden, and she’d climbed out the window on impulse, desperate for some cool air to clear her befuddled mind. She’d fallen in love with a man who would be as easy to tame as the wolverine that had nearly killed her. She laughed a bitter laugh.
It’s not like you’re free to give your love to anyone. Only if her name was cleared of any wrongdoing would she ever be truly free, but that would never happen.
Tori hadn’t expected Lucas and his brother to come out of the house and linger in the yard the moment she decided to go for a stroll. She’d planned to return to her room before anyone found her missing. When the two men emerged from the cabin, she’d quickly darted into the shadows along the sidewall of the home. She hadn’t dared to move, or she would have been discovered. So she’d stood there, pressed against the wooden logs. She was in no mood for another altercation with Lucas today. She wasn’t looking forward to facing him in the morning, either.
Silently, she’d stood in the shadows while Joseph Walker conversed with his brother. She hadn’t wanted to eavesdrop, but what choice did she have? Joseph sounded as if he was scolding Lucas over something. She’d strained her ears. They were discussing his behavior toward her. Tori held her breath. At least one of the Walker brothers seemed to have a head on his shoulders when it came to treating people decently.
“I never thought I’d see the day when you’d fall in love, little brother.”
Tori’s heart had pounded in her chest. Lucas? In love with her? Impossible! If that were so, why hadn’t he told her, rather than make demands on her? Timothy had proclaimed his love for her the second time he’d come calling.
Lucas is not like Timothy.
The two men had moved further toward the corrals, and Joseph’s words became too muffled to understand what was said. Tori had turned her head to hear better, but they were too far away. Was Joseph correct? Did Lucas love her? He had asked her to marry him.
He didn’t ask, Tori. He told you, demanded that you go with him as if he owned you.
Just like Paul had done.
Lucas isn’t like Paul any more than he is like Timothy.
She’d shaken her head and bit her lower lip. Who was she kidding? A man like Lucas would never be satisfied with remaining in one place. He was as free-spirited as an eagle soaring in the sky, and Tori couldn’t picture him settling down, much less make room in his heart for a woman. It was a ridiculous notion.
Joseph had slapped Lucas on the back, then headed for the cabin. Tori had quickly leaned her head back against the rough wooden logs that comprised the sidewall of the home. At that angle, he surely wouldn’t have seen her. Why had Lucas just stood there? A moment later, he’d started pacing along the corral fence closest to the barn, then suddenly followed in his brother’s tracks, and headed straight for the cabin.
Whatever had gotten under his skin, Tori didn’t want to find out. Loud shouts had come from inside, and she’d darted for the trees. The door sprang open, and Lucas charged out as if a horde of Indians were after him. He glanced in all directions, then rushed around to the side of the cabin where she’d stood less than a minute ago. He reappeared from the back of the house, and met his brother and Sophie, who stood just outside the front door.
“Why the hell did she run off again? Dammit. I should know better by now that to let that fool woman out of my sights. Where does she think she’s gonna go in the middle of the night?”
Tori gritted her teeth at his angry outburst. Did he really think she was that foolish, and leave without any provisions or weapons?
Lucas rushed back into the house, only to emerge seconds later with his rifle.
“You’re going after her?” Joseph asked, his voice much calmer than his brother’s.
“Of course I’m going after her. She’s gonna get herself killed.” Lucas didn’t wait for a reply, but almost ran toward the barn. Tori crouched behind the tree trunk, holding her breath. He wouldn’t be able to see her. She was completely covered in darkness. She could just as easily make her presence known and
spare Lucas a ride through the night.
A smile formed on her face. He’d be livid when he returned empty-handed. If he wanted to be such a mule-headed man and think she’d run off again, it would serve him right to spend a night out searching for her.
“Perhaps you should go with him, Joseph.” Sophie’s soft voice drifted from the front of the cabin.
“I think he’s got it handled, Princess.” Joseph wrapped his arm around his wife’s waist.
Sophie glanced up at him, and for a moment, they just stared at each other. Tori’s chest tightened. The couple stood just within the warm glow of the light from inside the cabin. It seemed to illuminate their love for each other.
She leaned up and kissed her husband’s cheek, then placed her hand on his chest. “No, Joseph, I really think you should go with him. And you should make sure that Lucas searches everywhere within several miles of the homestead. I’m sure it will be a long night, so wear your warm coat. I have a feeling you two might not be back until well after daylight.”
Silence passed between the two, then Joseph nodded. “You’re right, Sophie. Lucas might need my help,” he finally said. After disappearing briefly inside the cabin, he returned, wearing a heavy coat, and carrying a rifle. He followed his brother into the barn. Sophie remained by the cabin door, her arms wrapped around her middle.
When the two men emerged from the barn, mounted on their horses, Sophie called, “be sure you look everywhere. There’s no telling where she might have gone. And don’t come back until you’ve found her, you hear?”
Tori stared from Sophie to the men on horseback. Joseph rode up to his wife, and leaned forward over the saddle. If he spoke, Tori didn’t hear. Lucas’ horse pranced nervously in front of the cabin.
“Let’s go, Joseph, or I’m going alone,” Lucas called, and nudged his horse in the sides. The brothers rode out of the yard, heading in the direction of the mountains. Tori slowly raised herself to a standing position when the sounds of hoof beats dissolved into the darkness. She shook the tingles from her legs.
“Stupid man. He didn’t even slow down to look for tracks,” she mumbled under her breath. He was simply convinced that she’d run off again, and that she would have headed back into the mountains.
Her heart nearly stopped when Sophie’s voice called out, “Tori, I know you can hear me. Wherever you’re hiding, please show yourself so we can talk.”
Too stunned to speak, Tori hesitantly stepped from the shadows and headed toward the house. Her body shivered in the cool nighttime temperature, and she longed for some sleep.
“How did you know?” Tori asked quietly when she met Sophie at the door. The woman smiled softly.
“I know what it’s like to feel out of place. There have been many times in my life when I simply wanted to run away, but I knew it would do me no good. So I always stayed put.”
Tori lowered her head. How could this woman be so perceptive? She did feel out of place. She’d been alone for so long, all these people made her feel out of sorts and more skittish than a young deer.
Sophie took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “It must have been awfully hard and lonely for you up on that mountain all this time,” she whispered, then laughed. “And then to have to deal with a man like Lucas. I can only imagine the sparks that had to fly.”
“He’s an impossible man,” Tori blurted. “He took me away from all I’ve known. He told me what to do from the moment he set foot inside my pa’s cabin, bossing me around as if he owned me. He . . .” Tori sucked in a trembling breath. She stared up into the soft brown eyes of Sophie Walker. “He saved my life, and he . . .” Her voice wavered.
“Stole your heart?” Sophie finished for her.
Tori hesitated, then slowly nodded. She raised her chin. “He’s the most mule-headed, arrogant man I’ve ever met. Why I’d even give a wit about him is beyond my comprehension.”
“Why don’t we go inside? It’s rather cold out here.” Sophie turned and led the way into the cabin. She motioned for Tori to sit on the rawhide-upholstered sofa facing the hearth. Tori reluctantly lowered herself onto the soft cushion, self-consciously wiping her hands on her dirty britches.
“Why’d you send your man off into the cold night?” Tori glanced at Sophie, who took a seat next to her.
Sophie smiled conspiratorially. “Because I think you and I need some woman time away from the men.”
Tori’s eyebrows scrunched together. “What for?”
“I think it’ll also be good for Lucas to spend some time thinking about the things he’s come to realize just before he found you gone from that room. I made sure Joseph keeps him out there all night, and hopefully well into the morning.”
“I don’t understand.” Tori shook her head.
“Tori, you’ve been living the life of a boy . . . a man, for so long, I think you’ve forgotten that you’re a woman. A very beautiful woman. And I think Lucas needs to see that side of you, too. Up until now, he’s only seen you in britches, and it might have been a bit difficult for him to relate to you as a female.”
That wasn’t exactly true. Lucas had seen more of her as a woman than any man ever had. Even Timothy hadn’t seen her in broad daylight, standing out in the open in the altogether. And Lucas called you beautiful. A warm shudder passed through her.
“I’m fairly sure he knows I’m female,” Tori muttered. She met Sophie’s curious stare without wavering.
“Oh . . . well, but he hasn’t really gotten a chance to relate to you as being a woman.” Sophie stumbled over her words. Comprehension seemed to have sunk in as to what Tori meant with her words.
Tori laughed. “I don’t think that’s gonna do much good. I appreciate you trying to be so helpful, but I can’t stay here. If I could perhaps borrow a horse, and barter for some supplies, I really need to be on my way come morning.”
Sophie grabbed her hand. Her forehead wrinkled, and she shook her head slightly. “Why do you want to remain on your own?”
“Lucas hasn’t told you?”
Sophie shook her head again.
Tori drew in a deep breath. Sophie Walker was easy to talk to. She seemed so sincere, and if she was being completely honest with herself, it felt so good to talk to, and perhaps even confide in, another woman. It’s time, Tori. Unburden yourself.
“Lucas knows some of why I’ve been in the mountains with my pa for the last four years. But he doesn’t know all of it.” She stared into the expectant amber eyes of Lucas’ sister-in-law. Would she keep her secret?
“You can’t repeat what I’m gonna tell you, you hear?” Tori gripped the hand that was still entwined with hers.
“I won’t tell,” Sophie replied slowly.
“Four years ago, I was barely sixteen, I had my first and only beau.” A soft smile spread across her face at the memories of her life as a young girl in St. Louis.
“Before that, I’d go wandering through the woods back home with my pa, hunting and fishing. He did his best to maintain the farm where he and Mama lived, but farming wasn’t in his blood. I helped him plant the fields, and harvest the crops, but we spent a lot of time in the woods. It didn’t give me much time for socializing, or acting like a girl.” Tori chuckled. “My mother chastised me to no avail. That all changed when I met Timothy.”
Tori continued to tell Sophie about Timothy, and how flattered she’d been that he noticed her as a girl, the first boy to do so.
“Things got out of hand one day, “ she said, and lowered her head. “He and I got carried away, and . . .” Heat crept up her neck and into her cheeks. What she’d done with Timothy was wrong, and she’d live with the guilt over laying with a man out of wedlock for the rest of her life.
“He told me he loved me, and that he wanted to marry me.” Tori hastily wiped at a tear on her cheek. Then she laughed bitterly. “Of course, Paul had other ideas.”
“Paul?” Sophie’s gentle voice encouraged her to continue.
“Timothy’s best friend,” Tori
spat. Hatred for him welled up inside her. “He couldn’t bear the idea that Timothy had something that he did not.”
“He was jealous of your courtship with Timothy?”
“He solicited me on several occasions,” Tori scoffed. “Always telling me what a weakling his friend was, and that he wasn’t a man and never would be. When he found out that Timothy had asked me to marry him, he became enraged. He cornered me one day, and told me that I would never marry Timothy. That if he couldn’t have me, no one else would, either.”
“What a horrible man,” Sophie gasped.
Tori waved her off. She needed to get this off her chest now, before she buried it all inside again. “He caught me and Timothy sparking in the hayloft at the livery one afternoon. He called up to us, taunting Timothy for being a weakling. Timothy became angry, a side of him I’d never seen. I suppose he’d finally had enough of his friend’s taunting. I told him to leave it be, and ignore Paul. He wouldn’t hear it. I tried to hold him back when he went to climb down the ladder. He pushed me aside, and must have lost his foothold. He fell. I hurried down the loft, and helped him to his feet.”
Tori stood abruptly, and moved to the hearth. She stared into the red and orange flickers of the fire, her eyes fixed on the glowing coals as anguish and renewed anger flooded her. She wheeled around to face Sophie again. She had to finish her story. Now that she’d started getting the words out, she couldn’t hold back the rest.
“Paul just laughed, and told Timothy again what a weakling he was. Then he advanced on me, telling me I should find out what it was like to have a real man between my legs. I . . . I ran from the barn. I ran all the way home. That evening, the law came to the farm, and arrested me. Timothy was dead, and Paul claimed that I had pushed him from the hayloft.”
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