I nodded a few times, wiping my tears and whispering a “Thank you.”
“Call Mona whenever you’re ready and tell her that you’ll meet him in any room you choose, okay?”
Another nod and a deep breath.
He squeezed my arms tenderly in reassurance and smiled sadly at me before he left to the sunroom, closing the mirror-door behind him.
I was supposed to call Mona to tell her in which room I’d be meeting Joseph, but I just stood still, frozen in place, not doing anything. Just the thought of the two of us alone in a room freaked the heck out of me. I found myself staring at the main door of the room, then glancing at the sunroom’s door and staring at it as well, only to go back to staring at the main door, and doing it all over again. It was seriously frustrating.
With heavy steps, I made my way to the door I knew would help me ease my anxiety and cool it down a notch. What I didn’t know was the reason why my heart had decided that the prince’s company would help me kick the worry away.
I held my fisted hand up, and my knuckles knocked twice, as softly as I could, while biting down on my bottom lip. I felt like a little girl, going to her parents’ room in hopes that her parents would agree to her request to let her spend the night with them, or even come to her room and sleep beside her so she could go safely back to sleep knowing that they’d protect her from the boogieman.
He said a word in Arabic, I assumed he was thinking that it was Mona who was knocking, and I didn’t know if the word meant that it was okay to come in, or if it was requesting me to stay out, so…I knocked again.
When he opened the door, there was a frown on his face, and then a look of confusion in his eyes appeared when he saw me, an easily readable expression of worry covering his features.
“I can’t do it alone,” I blurted out, my voice breaking.
Another sad smile tugged on his lips, and a nod was his only response. He stepped out of the room and offered me his hand. I took it. He walked me a few steps closer to the main door and then called Mona. No questions asked.
The troubled feelings inside of me prevented me from admiring the beauty of the room we were now standing in. Simply, it was ridiculously big, with more than two sets of matching armchairs along with their matching couches and small coffee tables. It was filled with beautiful decorations and curtains that surrounded the whole place. There was a huge flat screen dominating one of the walls, and thick carpets that my heels kept digging into covering most of the marble floor.
In a different time, I would’ve gaped at the beauty of the room for hours and hours, but that wouldn’t happen now. If my brother was coming here to take me home like I hoped, it would never happen at all.
I couldn’t sit down while we waited for Joseph, like the prince had advised me to do. I just stood there, fumbling with my hands while my eyes fixed somewhere on the floor, and sometimes on the wall opposite me.
“It’s going to be okay,” the prince’s voice startled me and I jumped slightly.
He was right in front of me in a second, looking straight into my eyes. “It’s going to be okay, Princess,” he reassured me, the beautiful garden of his eyes forcing me to believe him. They were just really honest, and only inches away from mine.
A very small smile found its way to my lips and drew itself on them, as I stared into the prince’s confident green gaze. He smiled back at me, but the smile died less than a moment later when I heard a door being opened behind me, pushing my own barely-existing smile away with it.
“Please, come in,” Mona’s voice called. I didn’t dare to turn around; I kept my eyes fixed on the prince’s eyes, the eyes which were no longer looking at me, but somewhere above my shoulder.
His gaze darkened, filling with anger, and a sneer appeared on his face. It scared me. His head was held high, and he stood tall, his posture changing from softness and tenderness to toughness and sharpness.
I found myself taking a half step back, as I kept my eyes staring at his rage- filled ones.
It confused me that his eyes softened again for a split second, before changing just as fast to shoot deadly glares at whoever was standing behind me.
“Prince Mazen.” My brother’s greeting made me take a step forward to the prince.
My chest ached.
“Marie.”
My heart swelled.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying my hardest to control the burning in my eyes as a new round of tears formed in them at the sound of Joseph’s voice.
Slowly, I turned around, finding myself moving to stand half-behind the prince and taking his hand in mine, using his tall frame to shield me from my brother.
My throat tightened.
My own actions confused me; I couldn’t understand how I could, always, find comfort and safety in the prince’s closeness. I wondered why I found the protection I craved right behind his body and why I took him, of all people, as a shield–and from my brother, at that.
Full of strange feelings and mixed emotions, my head was pounding already, and I’d yet to glance my brother’s way.
When I did glance at him, worry consumed me at first, seeing that my only remaining family sported a black eye. I held in a gasp when I reminded myself of what he had done, and how he didn’t deserve my worry. He didn’t worry about me, after all.
For a few moments, there were no words spoken, just glares from the prince, and panicked peeking from myself. Joseph, on the other hand, was completely ignoring him: his eyes were only looking at me, not moving, speaking silent words of things I didn’t want to think about. Maybe he looked remorseful about what he had done, but that didn’t fix anything. The only thing that would ever fix what he’d done was if he’d take me back home–and even then, it didn’t mean I’d forgive him. Not slightly easy to even think about it.
What made me even more upset was how he looked down at the prince’s and my joined hands, and then dared to smile sweetly while looking at me–as if he thought it meant that I’d magically fallen in love with the prince or something. Didn’t he know how messed up that situation was? How I was holding the prince’s hand only for protection because his actions made me fear him like I had never feared anyone before? Didn’t he know that he was the very first reason, the only reason why I was scared at all, or holding a stranger’s hand at all, seeking the safety that my brother couldn’t offer me, that my own brother took away from me, ripped away from me?
I wanted to scream at him, my fear turning into anger, but before I could say anything I heard a growl coming from the prince.
“Mona! Why didn’t you say that she was with him?”
It was only then that I noticed the form standing beside Joseph: Janna.
“I, uh, I–”
“Silence!” It was a yell that made me lose my grip on his hand.
It scared me.
“Get her out of my sight,” the prince commanded. This time his eyes were on Janna before he let go of my hand and turned around, facing away from her.
The next thing I knew, Janna was running towards us and kneeling to the floor right behind the prince. Her light green dress that was similar to mine wrapped her form in a circle of its soft material. She touched both of his legs, her head hanging down as she bowed, her tears flowing like rivers as she spoke words I couldn’t understand–but it didn’t take a genius to know that she was begging.
But for what?
I stood there gaping at the sight in front of me with a stunned expression, not knowing why he was doing this to his sister. I knew from what he’d said yesterday that he loved her very much – he was ready to give up his own life for her. Why would he act like this towards her now? What did she do to deserve such treatment?
Games.
Lies.
Traps.
“You lost that right when you decided to give up my honor and your family’s and put it in the dirt, Janna,” the prince said through clenched teeth, still facing away from her while she still gripped onto his legs for
dear life. “I can’t even bear the thought of looking at you!”
She kept begging and crying, and only I was able to see the expression on his face from where I was standing. It was a pained one. But why? If it was painful for him to say those hurtful words to his sister, then why was he saying them?
“Not in this lifetime,” he replied, and it sent her into another round of wails and cries.
Joseph’s hands came to her shoulders and he brought her to her feet, holding her to his chest where she buried her head and cried into it while his hand soothed and moved over her long hair that was laced with hair jewelry, shushing her with whispers and words of love.
My heart ached at the sight in front of me. I remembered not that long ago when I was doing the same thing she was doing. I was crying, wailing and begging, asking for mercy and another chance to feel my brother’s love. I found none. I had no one to comfort me like she had my own brother, her own beloved husband, to soothe her; I had absolutely no one.
I struggled more with the tears I didn’t want him to see, because I was tired of feeling as weak as I was, tired of not finding a shoulder to cry on, tired of being the miserable one with no way out of this freaking palace. I was tired of being this new me, the one with absolutely no power over her surroundings.
I felt for Janna. A little. But I envied her, as well. She had someone while I had no one. And I wished she appreciated the blessings she was showered with.
Finally, the prince turned around and looked at them, “You had something to say, Yoseph?”
Why was he calling him Yoseph? Why was Mona calling him Yoseph? I’d thought Mona couldn’t pronounce it, but how could the prince not be able to? He’d lived in England for years. What was going on?
Joseph cleared his throat. “Uh, I just wanted to say goodbye to my sister before I leave with my wife.”
Leave?
With his wife?
To go where?
I looked Joseph in the eyes, searching for answers. He avoided my gaze. I looked at the prince, wondering, begging, but he only sneered at my brother.
“Leave to go where?” I whispered the question with a shake in my voice, my tears choking me.
“Back to the US, where else?” Joseph answered.
“Why?” I asked, eyes wide and mouth agape.
What about the seven-day rule? They were newlyweds, too. Weren’t they?
The prince had told me yesterday that the newlyweds could go out only in the case of an emergency. What was theirs?
“The company can’t be neglected any longer.”
I knew the company couldn’t be neglected much longer; I’d been here for almost four days. If it wasn’t for my very loyal assistants, I wouldn’t have left it even that long, especially with Joseph away as well.
“Why are you taking your wife with you?” I questioned, with a shocked expression and burning heart.
He didn’t answer. He just held Janna closer to his chest and looked down. I still waited for an answer that I didn’t even want to hear.
“The wife belongs where her husband is, Princess,” the prince replied for him in a quiet voice.
“What about me?” I pleaded, stomach clenching and chest swelling.
Janna turned her head and looked at me, questions in her teary eyes and confusion on her forehead.
“Like your husband said, Marie, the wife belongs where her husband is,” Joseph replied.
My stomach dropped.
“You won’t come back,” I stated, eyes tearing and heart bleeding.
“Um, not that often, but I will come back with Janna on occasion.”
“On occasion? You’re going to leave me here, take your wife with you, take care of the company, and just live happily ever after? What on earth has happened to you? Who are you? Where is my brother? Where is Joseph?” I screamed my pain in my brother’s face.
He was taking everything away from me. I’d thought he was going to be here; he still had to take care of so many things here in the kingdom. There were so many things left to do for our business here. What happened now? Was he leaving to take care of the company while I took care of things here myself? Or was he going to cut me out of the company as well?
Would he really do that to me? Would he take everything I had worked for? My life, my job, along with my family and friends?
What did I ever do to him?
What?
Joseph’s eyes widened in a warning glare. He dared to warn me not to speak, obviously not wanting to deal with it, or with his wife knowing anything about it. I had no idea if he knew how much he was destroying me by the second, how much he was killing me slowly and draining my soul. I wondered if he even knew. Would he care at all?
“Mona!” the prince yelled. She’d left the room once Janna started begging her brother, for what I didn’t know. Once she was there, he ordered, “Take Janna out of here.”
“No,” Janna shouted. “What’s going on here?” she asked, taking a step back from my brother, so she was now standing between her husband and her brother, opposite me.
The prince squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head that was hanging in sorrow, lips pressed into a tight line.
He didn’t want her to know.
The heck if I cared. This was all because of her. She did this to me with her recklessness and her disrespect for her stupid rules. She destroyed my life. She deserved to suffer like I was suffering. I didn’t care if she knew what her husband had done to me. I didn’t care if it hurt her to learn that he had lied and betrayed me–his own sister.
Mona left when the prince said nothing. My eyes and Janna’s were on my brother, both of us waiting for his answer. He just stood there in silence, looking at the floor, not meeting our gazes. He, too, wasn’t happy that Janna was about to find out the truth behind all of those lies, of course.
“Yoseph?”
“Why the heck is she calling you Yoseph?” I asked in frustration. The mispronounced name was getting on my already-troubled nerves, especially since I knew that both of them–the prince and his sister–spoke English very well.
When Joseph wouldn’t reply after the long moments I stood there waiting for it, the prince replied for him again.
“Yoseph is the name he chose for himself after he converted,” the prince replied slowly, with a frown that told me he was surprised I didn’t know that.
Did I know anything at all?
“C-converted to what?” Voice shaking and head spinning.
“To Islam.”
I clutched the cross on my chest with one hand while the other I placed over my mouth and screamed into it, tears streaming down my face.
Merciful God!
I felt lightheaded, dizzy. I knew I was about to faint. I couldn’t control my breaths, couldn’t calm down even a tiny bit to get my heartbeat to slow, couldn’t heal the tightening in my throat or the wound in my heart.
God!
I was dying.
“Princess.” The prince’s hands found their way to my shoulders in an attempt to calm my panic. I shrugged them away.
“Don’t touch me!” I yelled. “Stay away from me!”
He backed away immediately, giving me the space I needed. My eyes wouldn’t leave Joseph. He was still looking down at the floor and not moving at all; you would’ve thought he wasn’t breathing at all.
“You became a MUSLIM?” I screamed at him, the words bitter on my tongue.
No answer.
“What. Is. Wrong with you?” I cried, all pained words and trembling lips.
“You didn’t know?” Janna asked with wide eyes that matched the prince’s.
“Of course, I didn’t know!” I yelled. “How could you do this? How could you, Joseph? How could you?”
“Yoseph?” Janna looked at him, waiting for an explanation.
“Uh…” was his only reply.
“Why would you leave our faith? How could you give up Jesus?” Venom laced my voice and fire filled my insides.
“I
didn’t give up Jesus. I believe in him, still. Always will. Islam believes in Jesus,” Joseph said.
I didn’t believe him. How could I?
Lies.
Lies.
All lies.
“Why would you leave our parents’ and grandparents’ faith, Joseph? Just give me one reason why?”
“I wouldn’t be able to marry Janna if I was Christian, Marie. Muslim women only marry Muslims,” he replied in a low voice.
“Of course! It had to be Janna. Everything is about Janna, isn’t it?” I asked, not really wanting an answer–I already knew it. “You change your religion just for Janna. You change your name just for Janna. You drag me here just for Janna. I marry someone I don’t know and against my will just for Janna. What about me? Do I mean anything to you? Do you remember who I am? I’m your little sister, Joseph. I’m your family, your blood!” I cried, tears and pain staining my entire face.
“Yoseph! What is your sister saying?” Janna asked with a shaky voice. “What’s going on, Yoseph?”
“You need to get out of here, this is not good for the baby,” the prince said, though not looking at her.
“I’m not leaving this room until I know what’s going on!” Tears sparkled in her brown-chocolate eyes.
“I’ll tell you what’s going on,” I said.
“Princess, please,” the prince begged.
“You ask me please? She needs to know what kind of a man she just got married to, what kind of a jerk as you put it yesterday!” I told him.
“Marie, don’t,” Joseph pleaded.
“Your beloved husband brought me here for his wedding, only for me to discover later that it was my own wedding along with yours! I had no freaking clue!” I told her, my eyes never leaving Joseph’s.
“He tricked me, he betrayed me, he destroyed me, he killed me, killed my soul!” Tears laced my voice, and I sounded like someone who’d just lost a loved one for good.
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