“All of you, listen to me. This is my wife, your future queen. If anyone touches a hair on her head in your presence, I won’t order you to cover your heads, I will CUT THEM OFF. Am I understood?”
“Yes, Your Highness,” they said in unison, and I thought my eyes couldn’t get any wider.
“I will repeat it in the language you understand better so I’m sure that my order is clear, because I won’t take any excuses ever again in regards my wife’s safety and her honor,” he said and then did speak in Arabic, to which they replied again with something I understood to be confirmation to what they’d heard.
Right when they said the words, I heard clapping coming from behind me. I frowned, turning my head to look at the source of the sound, only to find it was the monster standing by the main door we’d come from. The stupid and silly look on his face made him look even more ridiculous than he already was.
“Bravo,” the monster commented.
“Oh, Jasem, how nice of you to join us, I was just about to call for you,” the prince said with a fake smile that told of disgust rather than anger. The next thing I knew, the prince was moving in fast and long steps in Jasem’s direction so that I had to step away, and then had him by the collar and started punching him in the face over and over again until I lost count of the fists thrown at his face.
“How dare you put your disgusting hand on my wife? How dare you touch her?” the prince said through clenched teeth as he kept punching Jasem under his jaw and in the nose while the weak monster struggled to block the punches the prince was showering him with.
“How dare you call her a name?” Another punch to his stomach and then another to his side.
“Enough!” to my surprise I heard Mona saying, but the prince didn’t stop.
“Mazen! That’s enough!” The commanding tone in her voice was more than shocking, let alone the fact that she hadn’t used a title before his name, or the fact that he did stop when he heard her.
What kind of power does this woman have over him? She is just a servant, I wondered.
The prince then took Jasem by his collar and dragged him until he was right in front of me, pulling him to stand on his knees, his face all puffed up and bloodied so that he was now even more disgusting to look at than before.
“Now you can apologize decently and beg for her forgiveness–if she really accepts it; only then will I let you go, you jerk,” the prince shouted.
Jasem shouted back with something in Arabic and was met by a shove of the prince’s leg to the middle of his back while continuing to hold him still by the back of his collar, causing him to scream in agony, a very disturbing noise to hear.
“I–uh, I’m sorry, Princess. I b-beg your forgiveness.”
I nodded frantically. “Accepted, you’re forgiven,” and said the words in a hurry, turning my face to the side. I just couldn’t stand seeing him kneeling in front of me like that, and I just wanted him gone.
Only then did the prince let go of him. “I swear to Allah if you ever step a foot inside my father’s wing again without my permission, I will make you regret it, Jasem,” he threatened. “Take him out of my sight.”
The guards helped Jasem to his feet, and once settled, he shoved them away and walked himself out of our sight, barely able to walk at all, words that sounded like curses dripping from his mouth.
Prince Fahd came and patted his brother’s shoulder with delight shining in his eyes. “Couldn’t have done it better.” The prince shrugged his hand away, not forcibly, but powerfully enough to show how mad he still was. And then headed to an elevator after saying, “Let’s go.”
I followed him, not knowing how it would be between the two of us from now on.
Despite everything that was happening, despite the worry that had its grip on me so tightly, and the anxiety about what was to come that filled my every sense, I couldn’t help the warmth that spread deep inside of my heart when everything the prince had just done sunk in.
He’d lied to save my life. He’d punished because I wasn’t protected enough. He’d ordered and commanded to make sure I’d always be safe. He’d used his fists to deal with the one who’d treated me with disrespect.
And...he’d promised to cut heads off if a hair on my own was touched.
I couldn’t even imagine what all of this meant to me. It was making me speechless, even inside of my brain; I was speechless, as in couldn’t-even-form-a-thought kind of speechless.
I couldn’t understand why he would go this far to protect me? For what? A part inside of my head couldn’t help but wonder if there was something hidden in all of this. Like...if he had other intentions. Bad ones. I just couldn’t find a reason why would he do all of that for me.
Unless he cares for you. A lot, something inside of me spoke.
Could it be true? That the prince had feelings for me? I really didn’t know. But the mere thought of it made my insides tingle…in a very good way, and I had no clue what to make of it.
Just like the walk through the lobby, the wait in the elevator was... Silence. The only sound was coming from the prince’s panting as he tried to catch his breaths, while leaning his body and his head back against the side wall of the elevator with his eyes closed.
Oh, how I wanted to take him in my arms, or rather be in his arms, but I didn’t know if it would be welcome or not. I didn’t know how he really felt about me leaving that way. Of course he wasn’t happy about it or couldn’t take it easily; after all, I did lie to him and fool him so I could try and escape.
The elevator opened to the same place which I’d come from on the night of the wedding, a foyer. The closed door nearby, I knew, led to our bedroom.
Once inside, the prince headed towards the bathroom in the corner, but I was able to stop him before he got there by catching his hand in mine. “Wait,” and then keeping my hold on it even after he stopped.
He didn’t turn my way, so I took a step or two to stand in front of him, facing him. He didn’t look at me; he just stared straight ahead, and I wished he would just look into my eyes, or that I could read him or hear his thoughts. Or that he would hold my hand back…
“I-…I just wanted to thank you. For–uh, what you told your parents. And for defending my honor,” I said softly, sincerely.
He was silent for a moment, and I watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallowed before he replied, still not looking at me. “I promised that I will keep you safe as long as I breathe,” he said in a low, but firm voice.
My heart. It ached.
If you would only look at me?
“I never break my promise.”
If you would just hold my hand back?
I started feeling the now very familiar sensation of my throat closing as my tears started choking me. He was so…cold. I wasn’t used to this kind of tone from him.
I nodded my head, looking down, wanting to say something else, but not really knowing what that ‘something else’ would be. Still not wanting to let go of his hand, even if I wanted to let go of it. God! I was so confused that I was even confusing to my own self.
As I was about to look up at his face again, I saw something on the inside of his arm: a smudge, a fading red smudge of…dried blood.
My eyes grew bigger as I stared at it; there was no way that this blood could be Jasem’s. This smudge was dry, meaning that he’d gotten it long before he started to hit Jasem and cause him to bleed from his nose and lips. It also looked like that spot had been washed before, but maybe that he’d done it in a hurry and hadn’t noticed that it wasn’t completely gone.
My head started pounding, and my throat went dry as I thought of whose blood this could be. Still, I needed to ask. Just to make sure. Or to reassure my heart with a ‘not hers’ kind of answer. I swallowed thickly, and did so.
“W-whose blood is this?” my lips trembled a little as I asked the question.
The prince looked down to see what I was looking at, paused for a moment, then answered with the name I
feared he would answer with the most, “Janna’s,”
My heart skipped a beat, and my pounding head started spinning, my free hand coming up to cover my mouth after I let out a shocked and horrified gasp, leaving little room for my lips to allow my question to come out, “You killed her?”
It was only then that his eyes looked at mine, his lips forming a sneer, and his face changing from a blank to an expression that spoke of disgust more than anything, “Is that what you think of me?” he asked through clenched teeth. “A monster that would kill his own sister for being a foolish teenager who doesn’t know better and always acts as stupid as stupidity could get? Huh? Is that all you see?”
I stared at his angry eyes for a few seconds, completely dumbfounded and not knowing how to answer, only thinking of what his answer-questions could mean more than actually thinking of an answer to reply to him. My hopes were as high as they could get that this meant Janna was okay and well, until he broke our connected gaze when he jerked his hand away from mine and continued his way to the bathroom, leaving me by myself and with only my thoughts to keep me company.
I stood there in my place for a minute or two, lost in my thoughts, until I heard a knock on the door that brought me back to where I was standing and not in the land of wondering, guessing and hoping.
“Come in,” I called.
Mona entered the room, the box that the king had given to me in her hands. “I will put this with the jewelry, Princess,” she said, her face sad and her eyes even sadder.
“Yeah, sure,” I said.
She went on her way to the dresser beside the window where all of the boxes of gifts I’d gotten in the past few days lay, and I went to sit on one of the armchairs, not really knowing what to do with myself.
When Mona was finished putting the box away a minute later, she came closer and asked, “Would you like to eat now, Princess?” Her usual soft smile was long gone, leaving sad features in its place which caused her to age ten years.
“Do you think I can find any appetite to eat now, Mona?” I asked softly, not really questioning it, but just telling her I couldn’t.
“I only do what you order me to do, Princess, not what I think,” she replied just as softly. I didn’t know if she meant my order for her to leave when I was about to flee or not, but I still felt bad about it.
“Okay,” I murmured. “No, thank you.” And she was gone after saying her usual, “Call my name if you need anything.”
I rested my body and my head back against the armchair, allowing myself once again to get lost in my thoughts. They were mostly about Janna and her destiny, the worrier in me wondering if maybe he didn’t kill her but someone else had? Because what would explain her dried blood on the inside of his elbow other than that?
Just the thought of her being killed made my stomach twist and turn, so scared that she had faced this horrible fate at all, let alone because of me.
God! Why, why did I go along with it? Why? I was such an idiot; none of this would’ve happened if I hadn’t done that. At the very least, I wouldn’t have been this worried and the questions in my head wouldn’t be killing me this way.
Time went by, and the prince didn’t come out of the bathroom. I wondered if I should check up on him because it’d been a long time since he’d gone in there, but I thought better of it.
After a while, I heard another knock on the door, Mona coming in after I called for her to do so. She informed me that the prince had requested for her to tell me he would be spending some time alone in the living room, disappointing me with her words, for I had been waiting for him to come out, even though I had no clue what I would tell him when he did.
She suggested preparing me a bath and I agreed. She picked me something comfortable and I wore it. She dried and brushed my hair and I didn’t say anything. She asked if I needed anything and I told her no. And when she left, the thoughts remained present.
Sometime later, I heard the faint sound of a door closing, and I wondered what the prince was doing or where he was going, or if it was Mona. I walked around the room for a bit, then decided that I’d just go and sneak a peek from the secret door that lead to the living room where Mona had said the prince was, hoping that I wouldn’t be caught doing so because it would be so embarrassing.
I opened the door as slowly as possible, only parting it enough for me to be able to see inside of the living room. I scanned the place searching for the prince, only to find him sitting in one of the armchairs across the room. The sight of him…broke my heart. Just broke it.
He had his head in his hands, and his shoulders hunched down and his posture screamed miserable. Knowing that I had everything to do with it broke me even more and I couldn’t help tearing up, saddened by what I was looking at and my hands’ doing.
He had changed, and his hair looked slightly damp. In front of him stood Mona; she was speaking to him, but I couldn’t hear what she was saying from my spot. He wasn’t replying, and she would stop talking and then talk again, and though I couldn’t hear her, I knew that she was trying to soothe him. For a brief moment, I wondered if I should open the secret door in the closet that lead to the living room instead of this one, for it was closer to where they were, but thought better of it.
The prince laid his head back, his eyes closed, still not replying to her. Then I saw her as she patted the top of his chest, then smoothed his hair with one movement, starting from his forehead to the middle of his head in a motherly gesture, and then left the room.
This woman’s closeness to him was a bit confusing to me, but I doubted that Mona was his nanny when he was a kid or something of that sort.
I stared at the prince’s troubled form for a few minutes before I decided that enough was enough, and I closed the door as quietly as I’d opened it.
A few hours later, when it was the early hours in the morning, I took the hint that the prince wouldn’t be coming, and the empty feeling I had at the realization wasn’t an easy sensation to bear.
I went to my bed, trying to get some sleep, because I wanted this nightmare of a night to end. Funny that, unlike any other nightmare you’d end it by waking up, I was trying to end mine by falling asleep.
I prayed. Sleep still wouldn’t visit me, and my thoughts and worry for Janna just wouldn’t let me be. So I got up, dropped a fluffy scarf that was on the couch over my shoulders and went to the sunroom.
It was chilly, but I didn’t care, and when the windows opened, it was even colder, but I still didn’t leave it. I sat on the swing and swung myself back and forth lazily.
The night seemed longer than a week, and the quietness around me was so noisy that it hurt my ears. I thought about going to check on the prince, to see if he was alright, but I didn’t do it, feeling as if it wasn’t my place to even feel worried about him.
A while later, I heard the azan, powerful and strong, but quiet and peaceful, just like I’d heard it with the prince on the roof of the palace. I wondered if the prince would come out now to pray. I knew he could do it in any room, so I still might not see him if he decided not to come to our bedroom.
Next, I found myself reaching for the secret door in the sunroom that opened into the kitchen, and without hesitation this time, I went in. My hands touched the black marble counter and I looked around to see if Mona was nearby or would come out of nowhere like last time. I knew she would be awake now to pray. A few minutes passed and as I expected, she came with hurried steps.
“Can I help you with something, Princess? I apologize if you called and I didn’t hear you, I was praying.”
Figured.
“I, um…can we talk for a few minutes, please?” I asked hesitantly.
“Of course, Princess,” she said, I smiled a small smile and then pulled one of the stools and sat on it, waiting for her to do the same, but she didn’t, so I asked her to do so.
“I’m sorry for the trouble I caused you, I promise that hurting the family or even causing problems was never my intention, Mona. Please b
elieve me,” I apologized with quiet voice.
Mona looked at me for a moment, offered me a small smile, then nodded. I wasn’t so sure if she believed me at all; her eyes told me that she wasn’t the one I should be apologizing to–and I knew she was right–but she still said nothing.
“I...um, do you know if Janna is okay?” I asked softly.
I heard her sighing as she looked down, taking a moment of silence before she replied, “She’s stable, may God protect her.”
“Stable? What happened to her? Why was she bleeding? Did Prince Fahd hurt her?” I asked, my heart crying for Janna and whatever she’d gone through, though thankful to learn she was stable, whatever stable meant.
“Uh…it’s not my place to answer those questions, Princess, I’m sorry,” she said in a soft, almost-embarrassed voice as she looked down.
“Look,” I reached with my hand for hers on top of the kitchen table and touched it, “I know you have no reason to trust me, but I swear I will keep whatever you tell me a secret, and to never let anyone know you told me anything. Please, I just want to know what happened to her, my mind is going in every direction and it’s really disturbing,” I tried.
Mona took longer to reply to me this time, but eventually she did. “Princess Janna tried to kill herself.” My eyes doubled in size and hers teared up. “She cut her wrists.”
“Oh, God!” I gasped, “I–…God!” I rested my head in my hand, trying to process what I’d just heard. “This is all my fault,” I whispered to myself, but when Mona patted my hand that was still on hers with her other, I knew she’d heard me. She didn’t say anything, though.
“Is she alright now? Was she found before it was too late?” I tried to reassure myself with my own questions. I only wanted a nod from her in reply to settle my thoughts and put my head to any kind of rest.
“Yes, Princess. I wasn’t finished with packing, but I wanted to bring certain things from her old wing that I thought she would like to have with her in the US,” Mona replied. “I had no idea that I would find her there–drowning in her own blood.” Her voice cracked at the end.
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