by Anne, Melody
To her great surprise, he grinned and accepted a bag.
“You know this stuff is terrible for you, right?” he said as he opened the package and took out a handful.
“Yep. I know exactly how bad, and I don’t care,” she answered happily as she took her own handful, popping it into her mouth with a satisfied sigh. She was very glad she’d swiped some on her way from the room. Her stomach was beginning to rumble because she hadn’t eaten since lunch.
Ari slid down the wall, deciding she wasn’t going to stand there all night. Rafe joined her as he began munching on his chocolate, making her feel quite smug, especially after his little health comment.
“I guess it’s all right to indulge once in a while,” he conceded.
“Oh, Rafe, it’s OK to indulge all the time — in many things,” she countered, giving him a flirtatious wink.
Looking at her incredulously for a moment, Rafe put down his chocolate and tugged her onto his lap, positioning her so her back was pressed against his chest, her backside cushioned on his thighs.
“You know, chocolate is an aphrodisiac,” she said as she leaned back, content to sit with him with his arms wrapped around her middle, and her fingers full of chocolate gooeyness.
“Don’t tempt me, woman. Hopefully, we’re going to get rescued at any moment and I don’t want anyone except for me to see you naked,” he said and pressed his lips to her neck.
“What if we were really quick?” She wiggled on his lap.
Never before had she been this bold, this daring. Two years ago, the thought of having sex in a public place would have horrified her. Now, she was hot and swollen, and she couldn’t think of anything better than to have him sink deep inside her.
Ari forgot all about the fact that they were trapped. It was almost as if she were sitting with Rafe in a quiet, though uncomfortable, room. As his hands made circles on her stomach, she felt only desire and warmth, no fear, no need to be rescued.
In that moment, she realized what she was doing. By focusing on her desire, focusing on her physical need for Rafe, she didn’t have to focus on anything else; she didn’t have to think about them as a couple.
That wasn’t healthy. That’s what got them into so much trouble the first go-round. Yes, she’d fallen in love with him, but it hadn’t been enough. Why had she fallen in love with a man who had forced her into a situation against her will?
That said more about her than him.
She was already sliding back into that pattern, even though two years had passed. The thought of him fading back out of her life was almost unbearable. But why? What was it about him that made her never want to be apart?
“Tell me about South America.”
Rafe stiffened, his hand stalling for a moment.
“What do you want to know?”
“Everything. Tell me what you did, who you met, why you say it changed you so much.”
“I don’t think this is the right time,” he hedged.
“This is the perfect time, Rafe. We’re trapped in an elevator with no idea when anyone will come around,” she said.
“I can think of other things we can do to occupy ourselves,” he said. His hands rose from her stomach and gripped her breasts.
“I thought you said we couldn’t fool around,” she reminded him.
“I’ve changed my mind,” he told her, and he nuzzled her neck. His distraction technique was working quite well.
Ari felt herself melting, felt her body clamoring for the feelings he gave it, but she shook her head. They needed to talk — to really talk.
With reluctance, she grabbed his hands and pushed them back down to her stomach, her words a bit breathy when she spoke next.
“Please tell me, Rafe.”
“I can’t seem to deny you anything, Ari,” he murmured. He pulled her even closer against his body, but his hands remained on her stomach and thighs, with his fingers drifting lazily across her skin, yet making no attempt to ignite her passion.
Of course, whenever he touched her anywhere, her desire was stirred up, but she did her best to repress it, knowing that when they did finally come together, it would be explosive.
Rafe pressed his nose into her hair and inhaled deeply, then exhaled and began, “You were right to leave me. I didn’t think so then, but I know it was the right thing for you to do. After my wife left, I turned into a cold bastard. I think I figured that since she’d hurt me, it was OK for me to do the same to other women, that they were all cold and calculating, and only after what they could get. My ex-wife is that type of woman, but I shouldn’t have lumped together everyone else. You are about as different from her as it gets — a polar opposite. My mother would never treat a man that way, and though my sisters can be brats, they aren’t cruel, deceptive, or out for money and position. I had those examples in front of me, but I still thrust everything but my pain aside. I didn’t want to feel again. I didn’t want to allow a woman to have power over me.”
Ari was surprised to hear him admit any of this. Rafe didn’t often say he was wrong.
“I went a few years with relationships that were mutually pleasing. I had my needs met, and the women were provided for. Those women were happy. I wasn’t what they were in love with; it was my money, my influence, my power. When I was done, I made sure they were set up for quite some time. I’ve only had a couple of them try to come back. I made it very clear that it wouldn’t happen.”
Right then he sounded so cold that a shudder passed through Ari. This was the man she’d met three years previously, the man who had frightened her, but also intrigued her. There was fire in this man’s eyes, but also something that needed fixing. She’d been so naïve.
“Why me, Rafe? Why would you possibly choose me? I was nothing like those women you’d been with before. I had no clue what I was getting myself into when I went in for that interview. I honestly thought it was a real job.”
“Oh, it was a real job,” he said as he nuzzled her throat.
“I’m serious, Rafe,” she scolded.
“I know. I knew from the moment you walked into my office that you weren’t the right type of woman. I looked at you, and innocence was practically leaping from every pore on your body. You wouldn’t cooperate, wouldn’t fall into the type of relationship I demanded. I knew it was a bad idea from the start.”
When he paused, she waited, then asked, “So why did you pursue me?”
“Because I couldn’t stop myself.”
“What?” None of what he was saying made any sense.
“I knew you wouldn’t go along, blindly and unquestioningly, with what I wanted. I knew it would be a constant battle, but even knowing that, I was drawn to you. I thought I wanted you so much just because you refused me, and that turned me on, but it was more than that. I couldn’t get you from my mind.”
“Are you saying you were in love with me?” Ari didn’t believe in love at first sight.
“No. I was infatuated. I had to have you. I thought if I had you even once, the appeal would fade, but the more I was with you, the more insatiable I became. You quickly turned into an obsession for me,” he admitted.
“Is that what this is about? Obsession?” Ari felt as though her heart were being crushed.
“No! That was the way it was in the beginning. I fought the infatuation. I didn’t like the control you held over me. I didn’t like the free-falling sensation you inflicted on me, but I couldn’t seem to function properly without you. I still can’t.”
“So, this is all because I said no to you, because I walked away? You can’t handle that?”
“No, Ari. That was how it started. Now, I feel like I can’t breathe without you, but it’s not in a bad way. I was in South America and there was a couple. I knew better than to get attached, but I did anyway. The woman died during childbirth, and her husband was so devastated that he took his own life. That’s how I feel.”
“Like you want to take your own life?” she gasped.
“No. I
would never do something so selfish. I am not that weak. What I mean is that I don’t want to live my life without you. I realized while I was down there that it wasn’t just obsession. It was love. I don’t spout poetry, or admit to feelings too often, but I love you, Ari. Yes, this started as a desire to control you, to bend you to my will, to break you, I’m ashamed to say. But somewhere in the middle of all of this, it changed. I didn’t want to break you anymore. I didn’t want to hurt you. I wanted to see you fly. If I were a better man, I would walk away, let you live your life. But I am still selfish; I am greedy. I need you in ways you won’t ever begin to comprehend. I love you.”
Ari was left speechless; she twisted in his arms, turning her body so she was straddling him and could look into his eyes. What she saw made her heart leap in her chest.
Raising her hand, she stroked his cheek. He lifted his own hand and covered hers, keeping their eye contact unbroken.
“I love you, too, Rafe.” He smiled, but she continued, “But is love enough?”
He looked at her with so many emotions filling his unique eyes. “It’s a beginning. It’s a foundation. If you let me prove it to you, I’ll show you that I will never hurt you again,” he promised.
“I want that,” she said, and then leaned forward and kissed him. Yes, her body was on fire, but that wasn’t what this was about. This was about trust, need, emotional connection. There was more to life than just sex and passion — though those things were damn good.
She leaned her head against his shoulder while his arms wrapped around her. As his fingers rubbed up and down her back, one lone tear slipped from her eye.
Was love enough to overcome the pain?
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Rachel
Rachel sat at the small café, enjoying the spring breeze as she drank a cup of decaffeinated tea. What was the point of drinking it without caffeine? she wondered. Oh, this pregnancy wasn’t going to be pleasant, not at all.
Having arrived in America only a few days before, she was taking the higher road and meeting up with Ian, who had asked nicely this time and had flown across the ocean to speak to her. For the sake of her unborn child, she could compromise — just a little. She was the one who had to carry the child, gain a million pounds and have strange cravings at all hours of the day, so she had her limits.
If anyone should be compromising, it should be Ian, but she knew it was more mature just to speak to him, to be an adult. She didn’t want to have what ifs, and she wanted to be able to tell her child about his father, even if the man was a little bit crazy.
Still, the longer that she sat there, the greater her misgivings and second thoughts about meeting with him. She was afraid of the turbulent emotions he caused in her, but then again, she knew she couldn’t think only of herself. Though she didn’t feel pregnant yet, there was a baby growing inside her, and whether she liked it or not, Ian would be a part of her child’s life if he really wanted to be.
Her decision to have a weeklong affair with a stranger would forever haunt her now. She still hadn’t worked up the courage to tell her family. There would be no choice soon, since she would be showing in about a month. She could probably hide it for a while longer with the right clothes, but then when she showed up for a family function holding an infant, she’d have more than a little explaining to do.
It was time she confessed. She wasn’t a young girl who would get grounded or have her car taken away. She was an adult, and she had made an adult decision, and now she would face the consequences of her actions.
“Thank you for meeting with me, Rachel.”
Rachel jumped at the rich timbre of Ian’s voice as he sat down across from her. If only he weren’t so devastatingly handsome. His nearly black eyes bored into her as he waited for her to say something.
At least today he was dressed in regular clothing. Well, as regular as a wealthy man could wear, she thought. His custom suit probably cost about fifty grand. Not that she had much room to talk, considering that her shoes had been ridiculously expensive — oh, and then there was her purse. Still, his expenditures left hers in the dust.
“Of course, Ian. We are adults and can discuss this rationally. I think we both just needed a little time to cool down. I’m curious about something, though. Why are you so sure that the child I’m carrying has anything to do with you? Maybe I’m trying to scam you, take what I can get. You seem to have a low opinion of women, anyway, so what makes you think I haven’t been a floozy, sleeping around with anyone and everyone?”
He sat there too stunned to utter words for a moment as she looked at him without emotion. Let him think what he wanted about her. She didn’t care — well, not much, at least.
Finally, he must have decided on humor, because he laughed. “I have some very good reasons, Rachel. By themselves, each could be considered weak, but together, they satisfy me beyond any doubt.”
“And they are?” She definitely wanted to hear how he’d come to his own conclusions. He was either very trusting, or incredibly foolish.
“The first is that you didn’t try to deny it when I confronted you,” he said.
Rachel almost snorted. “Maybe I wanted to pawn my child off on a king. Clever, no?”
“But you didn’t know I was a king.”
“Details, details. I could be one hell of an actress. You don’t know me, can’t possibly know me after only a week together. Maybe I just wanted any guy stupid enough to claim the child I carry. Maybe I simply don’t know who the father is — for all you know, I could have torrid affairs with different men every week.”
“But you don’t, Rachel,” he said smugly. “To be sure, I don’t know precisely what you were up to before our week together, though my investigators didn’t turn up any evidence of promiscuity, or even a serious boyfriend. And after we were together? No one at all. Remember, I had you followed. In short, my sweet, you are not a wanton woman — or let me rephrase that. You seem to be very selective in your favors.”
“Ha. Let me rephrase what I said earlier: you don’t know me,” she practically growled, not at all liking how thoroughly he’d had her watched. It angered and upset her. It also brought home the sad fact that she didn’t have much of a life.
“I’m trying to remedy that now, Rachel. You’re the one who is choosing to be stubborn while I’m putting myself out there,” he scolded her, before adding, “Am I sorry that the condom broke? Who knows? It’s impossible for me to form a decision either way because the reality is that it did break, and we can’t turn back the clock now. I will emphatically say, though, that I am pleased that the mother of my child is an honorable woman. I would have expected that anyway because of your fine family.”
Rachel decided to suppress her outrage; it wouldn’t do any good. She’d just cut to the chase. “I’m sure by now,” she said, “that you’ve realized how ridiculous your insistence on marriage was.” Trying to act casual and unaffected, she picked up her cup and took a drink.
His eyes narrowed only the slightest bit, but she could easily see she’d irritated him. Well, too bad. He needed to realize that she wasn’t some pushover, and he would have to learn very quickly that the baby she carried was in her body. When their child was born, he could help with decisions, but until then, it was all on her.
“I see you haven’t taken time to consider the needs of our child.”
“Maybe this wasn’t a good idea, Ian. I thought by now that you would have come to your senses. Obviously you haven’t,” she said.
The waitress approached and Rachel sat there steaming while Ian placed an order, perfectly calm, even making the waitress swoon when he gave her his megawatt smile. She wanted to smack his face. That was the same smile he’d given her!
“This conversation would be much better held in private,” he said when the woman departed.
“I don’t trust myself not to stab you if we’re in private,” she told him pleasantly as she picked up her bagel and began to munch on it.
His eyes rounded before he laughed.
“Rachel, you are very refreshing. Do you know that? I am unused to women taking such liberties in the way in which they speak to me.”
“Well, then, you haven’t been hanging out in America long enough.”
“No. I’m unable to be here for the length of time I originally planned. I have obligations at home, a country in upheaval since the death of my father, and a brother who is on a vendetta,” he said, thanking the waitress when she set down his coffee.
“You lost your father?” she asked, her voice softening for a moment.
“Yes, about a month before I met you,” he replied.
“I’m sorry, Ian,” Rachel told him. That explained a bit about his desperation when they were together, maybe why he’d been so eager to be with a stranger. It didn’t explain her own behavior, but it was obvious that he had been grieving and using sex as a way to deal with that pain.
If she hadn’t been using him as well, she might have been offended, but as it was, she couldn’t take too much of a stance.
“He was a great king,” Ian said.
“I’m sure he was a great father, too.”
“Yes, he did a good job of ruling his home and his country.”
“That doesn’t sound like a father. That sounds like a tyrant,” she replied, even more worried now that this man was her child’s father.
“You compare the king to a tyrant?” he gasped.
“Oh, come on, Ian. You are much too outraged over a little comment. I wasn’t calling your daddy a tyrant. Sheesh.” She blew out her breath, then returned to her bagel.
“It will do you good to be in my country. Obviously you need to have some manners taught to you,” he said with a smirk, quickly recovering from his shock over her unrestrained tongue.
Rachel felt her blood boil.
“I can’t believe you just said that. Seriously, Ian, I don’t want to keep our child away from you, but I swear, if you make such insulting comments around him, I will chop off your head. My parents taught me that men and women are equal. I don’t know what kind of archaic country you run, but you won’t turn my child into a chauvinist pig,” she said.