Finding Fate

by Charisse Spiers

  I close it back. “I should probably apologize to Riggan. I was a dick. He doesn’t need that kind of negativity in his life. That kid is lucky to have a dad like him, and the day she’s born, I’m going to be waiting for her, even if it kills me.”

  He slaps my back. “I’ll be right there with you. Just because Presley finally got pregnant again doesn’t mean I don’t still face the demons of the one we lost. It’s a daily struggle.”

  I look at him. “You still thinking about adding on a nursery? I’ll help.”

  He smiles when he stands. “Yeah, my wife happens to like our little live-in bed and breakfast she’s created and has a slight panic attack every time she thinks someone is considering finding new digs. We’re turning into a foster family. She almost lost her shit when Riggan mentioned putting his bed in storage earlier so Sayler could use his room for Chloe. Now you assholes are helping me move it down here for Landon this weekend to have it ready when he comes in from offshore next week, because she can’t stand the thought of him having to sleep on a couch.”

  The smile is already spreading as I shake my head. “Y’all do realize Landon has his own trailer on family land, right? Considering he bought it brand-new, it’s pretty damn nice. Him and his dad added a huge built-on covered porch with furniture and an outdoor fan on the front and a big open deck on the back that leads into an above ground pool for his sister’s kids. He’s not homeless.”

  “Try telling that to the band wifey. I have my coping mechanisms and she has hers. You jackasses are like her babies. She got upset that he stayed back after the concert instead of coming here with us until he had to go back to work. It doesn’t click in her head that Mississippi is closer to where he works than fucking Miami. She offered to fly him here if he’d stay between hitches when God knows what is sitting in his bank account.”

  A laugh slips. I get up. “You don’t want to know. He probably took her up on the offer. He’s a tightwad with his money, yet he makes a lot of it.”

  “She had to FaceTime his ass from Riggan’s phone to get him to agree. I think he wanted the break since he came a good bit to get ready for the concert. He somehow ended up agreeing to it, though.”

  “Landon is weird about chaos and noise if he’s not on stage. He likes quiet. It’s nothing personal. Before I moved here, we just sat on his porch drinking beer and shooting the shit on the weekends he was home. His company otherwise is usually his dog.”

  We both grab our half empty beers. “I’m sure she’ll figure out a way to make it Zen enough for him down here. We’re losing our man cave two weeks a month, but God forbid she leave a stray outside. At this rate we’re going to need a bigger house.”

  I laugh, both of us already making our way upstairs, because—women. You’re crazy with them and without them. You do better to just learn to like crazy.

  Eighteen

  Gabby

  My eyes start to move behind my lids, my brain waking me up. I blink, trying to moisten my eyes from the dry state they’re in, remembering what today is—Halloween. I sat up last night after Maddox drifted off to sleep, staring at the clock on my new phone as every minute passed, dreading midnight. It’s my least favorite day of the year, even though it’s loved by so many. Most people don’t celebrate their birthdays on Halloween either. For me, it’s a reminder that we get older. It’s a day that focuses on age, and my age has been a negative part of my life for a long time now. Luckily, no one will notice because of the scary holiday festivities, and I sure as hell am not telling anyone.

  The sad part is, I used to love it. It’s a time of the year that’s vibrant and alive. There is a certain energy in the air from the anticipation of the pumpkins, the parties, and the costumes. Lord forbid I leave out the damn pumpkin spice everything that becomes life for a few months. The leaves are colorful and yards are full of spooky decorations. The fear that runs through our veins is electrifying. For hours you’re hyped up on adrenaline. It’s an opportunity to hide behind a mask and be someone else. For one night evil becomes appealing.

  But ever since my dad found out about me seeing Maddox, I’ve existed in a world of evil on a daily basis. The last good birthday I had was my fourteenth. Every one since, I’ve been alone, or hiding, or submerging myself into a world of mental darkness to ease whatever pain is consuming me at the time. I avoid places with kids on Halloween like the plague, because it’s a reminder that I can’t take my son trick-or-treating, and that with the closing of October, November rolls around—his birthday month.

  I toss the covers off and sit on the edge of the bed, trying to decide what the hell I’m going to do today. Maddox should already be at work. I’ve stayed close to home for the most part. I’m so used to laying low it’s become a habit, reminding me I’ve had a sorry excuse of a life for a while, but I’m here with the love of my life and he still loves me as much as I love him, so I’m going to make this year different. I’m getting a second chance. I’m making the best of it. Maybe Sayler or Presley will take me to town. One of them should be out of school today. My blonde roots are showing. I’m ready to go back to being myself . . . finally. Then I’m going to look for a damn job.

  I grab my phone, already knowing a text will be there before I unlock it, and I smile when he doesn’t disappoint me.

  Maddox: That ass was looking phat this morning. I almost took a bite.

  Phat—pretty hot and tempting. Dork.

  He used to say that all the time. The first time he said it I actually thought he was calling me fat.

  Me: I think I’m going to take Sayler up on her offer for half-price boobs. I’m feeling a little underprivileged around here with the busty Barbie friends. You can bite those.

  Three, two, one . . .

  My phone rings, making me smile. So. Damn. Predictable. I swipe the screen on the way to my ear. “Burns property, how can I help you?”

  He spits, making me light up with a grin. Damn redneck. I’m so glad I have him back. “Why the fuck do you want fake tits?”

  “‘Cause guys think they’re hot. Duh. Then I can get all those sexy bras and swimsuit tops where my cleavage is bangin’.”

  “To show who?”

  “You?”

  “I like the tits you have.”

  Awe.

  “I could literally have a nipple sitting on skin and you’d say that. Thank God I’m not quite that unfortunate, but bigger is always better.”

  “No. If I wanted to squeeze something synthetic I’d go get a stress ball. That’s just something else to make guys try to grope you. I want nothing but God given fat.”

  “I could just keep it secret ‘til it’s done. Then you can’t do shit.”

  “I could check out that sex club someone at work told me about. I bet they think bigger is better too.”

  My eyes narrow. “You will get someone killed.”

  “It’s simple, beautiful. You touch my tits, I’ll donate your dick. End of story.”

  “That’s so hot. I think I’ll go masturbate now. Gotta go.”

  I end the call and toss my phone on the bed, already making my way down the stairs to go shower. He hates when I masturbate. He’d give me orgasms multiple times daily just so I wouldn’t do it. Have fun at work, baby. I’ll always have the upper hand.

  Maddox

  I pocket my phone, already making my way up the stairs from the first floor, taking off my shirt. Little bitch. She knows how I feel about her strumming her little nub or dipping those skinny fingers in that tight pocket my dick belongs in. As long as I’m readily available, she doesn’t have a reason to do it. Like I’d work on her birthday. Bet she thought I forgot after all this time. I was eating breakfast at the bar with blondie and Riggan, letting her sleep. It’s not easy to sleep late when you’ve been getting up at dark for years to be at work by daylight. Sleeping late for me is making it to seven in the morning.

  I grab the bathroom doorknob, the sound of the shower on just beyond the door. It’s locked. I reach above the fra
me, feeling across the lip until metal moves, grabbing the small key that looks more like an Allen wrench than an actual key. Every door in the house came with one in case you lock yourself out. I slowly unlock it so she won’t hear me, and then return it to its place.

  I slip inside, already shucking my jeans and underwear as quietly as possible, before stepping in the shower behind her. She’s washing her hair, sudsy water running down her spine into the crack of her ass. She never has her eyes open when she is.

  I wrap my arms around her body, grabbing a boob in each hand. She inhales air, gasping, caught off guard. “I didn’t forget.”

  “Didn’t forget what?” she asks, like I’m an idiot.

  “Your birthday.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t celebrate my birthday.”

  I turn her around, already backing her toward the corner. “Why not?”

  She looks up at me. “My age is the reason we were torn apart. I’ve hated everything about it since. I haven’t cared about my birthday since the last one we spent together. No one understood how much we loved each other.”

  And hopefully after tonight it’ll make up for all the ones we lost . . .

  “Then stop letting them cheapen what we have by believing it. The best way to fuck ‘em all is by being happy despite the hate they give.”

  Like I struck a nerve, she comes at me, locking her lips with mine, and then climbs my body like a tree. I shove her back against the wall when she reaches between us and grabs my shaft in her hand, bringing it to her center. I drop her down a little and thrust upward, pushing through her slick warmth. Her tongue glides effortlessly against mine, our lips tugging and rubbing as I rock into her over and over.

  She pulls back, panting against my lips as her body absorbs every inch of me over and over, and whispers, “This is something we’ve always done right. No one can touch us like this. We own each other. I never let anyone else do this to me, because I knew it would never compare.”

  I grip her chin, stroking slower and deeper, massaging her insides. “I know what I have. That’s why I’ll fuck up anyone that tries to steal you from me.”

  “Shit. The things your jealousy does to me.”

  I run my hand down between us and push my thumb between her lips, instantly rubbing. “Yeah? Show me how much you like it. Choke me.”

  Her head falls back against the shower wall, her pussy already cinching tight around me like a band. “I’m so thirsty. Let me drink from you.”

  I push deep and grab her hip so I can grind her against me. “Tell me what you want.”

  She smiles. “Come in me.”

  I press my lips to hers and stop, letting her have all of me—the only girl that ever has.

  Nineteen

  Gabby

  “What do you want to do today?” Maddox asks from where he’s sitting on the edge of the bed while I sit on the floor and put a little makeup on at the small framed mirror leaned against the wall that Presley gave me.

  “I thought about going back blonde today. Sayler said she’d take me to town. I thought you were going to be at work. I can cancel if you want me to.”

  “Is that what you want? I like you either way.” The big smile on his face says otherwise. He always liked my blonde hair just like my dad. It’s a stark contrast to have naturally light hair with dark brown eyes. It’s more common for people to have dark hair and eyes or light hair and light eyes, or even dark hair with light eyes. Most people used to think I highlighted my hair when they first met me.

  “I want to be myself. With you I am. I’m ready, but like I said, I can cancel. We’ve lost enough time. You’re more important. I thought you would be working when I decided this. I didn’t expect you to remember my birthday, especially given that it’s on a holiday.”

  “I’ll never forget your birthday.” He shakes his head as he reaches in his back pocket. “But nah, go pamper yourself. I need to get your birthday present anyway. I figured we’d all go out or something tonight since you’re legal now.”

  “I don’t need a birthday present. I have you.”

  His mouth turns up on one side as he opens his wallet and slides out a card, handing it to me. “Nice try. Here.”

  “What’s that for? I have my wallet and the cash I took from my bedroom safe at my dad’s house, which I’m looking at as payment for him taking my car. He may have sold the damn car that I paid for, but at least he left my wallet in my room when he deposited me there after kidnapping me. I grabbed it before I left. That was another reason I was going to go to town—apply for a job at a few places.”

  “It’s yours. I added you as a user for my credit card. It was the easiest way to make sure you had money. You have to sign shit to get on my checking account. That’s sort of a problem, since I haven’t changed to a local bank yet. All of my stuff is direct deposit, so I haven’t really needed to. We’ll go open one next week and I’ll start changing my stuff over. The card came in the mail yesterday. Blondie handed me my mail this morning at breakfast while you were sleeping. Just use it when you need something and save the cash for emergencies. I’ll pay the bill. You can use it for your hair if you want. You used to keep your nails done like Blondie and Presley do. Do that too.”

  I take it, glancing down at my name etched on the plastic. My heart swells, my emotions getting the best of me, and my eyes blur. I never asked him to do this. I haven’t made a single comment about money. He’ll always try to take care of me. “I must give it good to get plastic.”

  “Gab . . .”

  I clear my throat. “Thank you.”

  “Gabby.” I blink before looking at him, trying not to cry. It makes me feel like a little whiny bitch, and I hate those. “Don’t do that. You’re not a charity case just because you don’t take your dad’s money anymore. This is the way it would have been when I graduated. I’ve never had any desire to go to college. From the second I knew you were the girl, the plan was to work and take care of you. Just because people fucked up my plan for a while doesn’t mean it’s going to change. We’ll get you a car. Just give me a little time to work out what we can afford.”

  I swipe the tear off my cheek. “I love you.”

  “Come here.”

  I lay the card on the floor by my makeup bag and get up, coming to stand between his legs. He wraps his arms around me. “What do you want to do? Do you want to go to school? If you do, we can make it work. I’d rather you pick school or a job, not both. When I’m not working, I want you with me. Until we have to move out, I can handle our shit by myself.”

  I shrug. “I don’t know. I haven’t really put much thought into it. I just wanted to be out from under my dad when I graduated so he had nothing to hold over my head to control my life with. He wants me to go to college. I refused to give him anything he wanted until he gave me what I wanted, which is you. I’ve been working random dead-end jobs since. I bought an old car and left behind the expensive one he bought me after he took our son. I lived in an old rental house in a sketchy part of town that needed a lot of work with my roommate Autumn, who I met at a party. Our landlord was lazy and didn’t fix shit, but I was on my own. As long as I had my rent every month and enough to survive on, I didn’t really care about anything else.”

  I inhale a breath and think for a second, wrapping my arms around his neck. “There was once when I considered seeing if I’d qualify for a grant to go to cosmetology school. The more I dyed my own hair, the more I actually kind of wanted to learn how to do it right. One of the schools back home accepts federal grants for low income applicants. At the time, I figured it was my only way to do it, but I never got brave enough to try. I think I’d like it, though. It’s something that wouldn’t take a long time to finish. I could do it anywhere and pick up and move easily should I need to with your music stuff. I could set my own hours. There are perks for you too.”

  He grips my thighs and pulls me on his lap. “Oh yeah, what’s that?”

  I wriggle my ey
ebrows. “Free haircuts.”

  He starts laughing. “And here I thought you were going to say breakroom sex between clients.”

  I laugh too, realizing just how content I’ve become with life in such a short amount of time. He’s the only one that makes the pain of knowing I have a child in the world bearable, because I no longer have to go through it alone. “You’re a perv.”

  He kisses me and pulls my head against his large, muscular chest, softened by the fabric of his tee shirt. “As long as I’m your perv I can live with it.”

  “Always, baby.” I snuggle into him, my arms circling around his waist to his lower back, the tips of my fingers brushing along the space of skin just above his jeans, not in a hurry to go anywhere.

  “Figure out what you need to do to get in and we’ll work it out on paper. Don’t worry about getting a job right now,” he says, breaking the comfortable silence.

  I stare into the open closet, seeing our clothes mixed together in one central space, and I smile. I didn’t think this day would ever come. The boy that stole my heart is wrapped around me, finally, and I refuse to go back. My dad will have to bring me back in a box. That’s the only way I’m going. “I don’t mind getting a job. We can build a life together. I’ll do anything as long as I can come home at the end of the day and do this with you. For a long time, this only existed in my dreams.”

  “When I need you to get a job I’ll let you know. I’ve been saving for a long time with very few bills. I hated not getting to graduate from my school with my friends, but at the same time, by the time we got caught I was almost done with high school, and you had not even started. Then you had to sit out a year, alone, while you carried and gave birth to our baby. Then had to mentally deal with that. I still had freedom, just not with you. Give yourself a second to be happy, Gab. To be a normal fucking twenty-one-year-old. To do shit for yourself. To not have to worry about money. Look at me.”