Dirty Like Me

by Jaine Diamond

  Not to mention they were all talking at once. Once in a while Maggie rolled her eyes and told one or all of them to shut up, but it barely made a dent.

  After a while, Jesse collected me and took me around to pose for some photos with him. He introduced me to pretty much everyone he talked to, either as Katie or in some cases as “my girlfriend, Katie,” which I couldn’t say I minded, though everyone was starting to become one big, beautiful rock ’n’ roll blur. Maybe it was the beer. More likely it was my nerves. I just hoped I wasn’t getting quizzed on all these names later.

  I just had to look like I knew what I was doing, right? Because if anyone asked me for a sound bite, I was pretty sure I’d choke. I was already dizzy with the sheer overwhelmingness of the growing crowd.

  And then, in the middle of it all, I found a little respite—a tiny old lady I hadn’t even noticed at first.

  She was calmly drinking a beer out of a pint glass when Maggie deposited me next to her on one of the plush chairs, introducing her to me simply as “Grandma Dolly.”

  “This is my friend, Katie,” Maggie said, which was super nice of her. “She’s here with Jesse tonight.”

  “Isn’t that nice,” Dolly said in a kindly way and squeezed my hand. She looked like she might blow away if you breathed on her too hard and her skin was soft, like wrinkled velvet, but there was strength in her grip. She wore cornflower blue slacks and a sweater with a sparkly music note on it, bejeweled with blue rhinestones. Her hair was white and set in waves close to her head, the same way she’d probably worn it for decades.

  She was adorable.

  “You’re Jesse’s grandma?” I asked her.

  “Ah, my Jesse. He’s a special one,” she said, her pale blue eyes soft. “He’s not really mine though, dear. Zane is my grandson. I met Jesse when he was eight, when the boys were in school together.”

  Just then Jesse came over to greet her, and Dolly held up her glass in toast. I tipped the rim of my beer glass against hers. “To Jesse and his wonderful new album,” she said in her scratchy little voice. Everyone else around our table—Zane, Dylan and Ash, Maggie, and now Brody and Jude, who’d come over with Jesse—fell silent to listen and raised their glasses and bottles, following Dolly’s lead. “It’s lovely, dear. Zane played it for me this afternoon.”

  “Thanks, Dolly,” Jesse said.

  “I knew you had more love songs in you,” I heard her say as he bent close to kiss her forehead.

  Once Jesse had turned away to talk to Jude, I leaned closer and told her, “He seems very fond of you.”

  She nodded and patted my hand. “He and his sister spent a lot of time at my home when they were young, and once their mother died, I took Jessa in.”

  “I didn’t know that.” Jesse had mentioned his father leaving, but I didn’t know his mom had died. “When did that happen?”

  “Oh, Jesse was about twenty or so. Jessa was only sixteen. But they spent so much time at my house even before their mother got sick that I felt like they were my own flesh and blood. Still do.” She glanced over at Jesse fondly. “Such a shame that Jessa won’t be here tonight.”

  “They must’ve been cute kids.”

  “Oh, yes. You wouldn’t believe the condition they showed up in some days, though. Dirty. Hadn’t eaten all day. I used to make extra food in case they showed up for dinner, and more often than not, as the years went by, they did. Jesse did what he could to care for Jessa, but he was just a child, too. He had a job from the time he was thirteen, to help out, but I didn’t like Jessa being left alone at home, so I told him, you bring her on over anytime you need. You go to work, you bring her. And so he did.”

  Wow.

  I glanced over at Jesse. He was deep in conversation with Jude and Brody and if I pictured him as a boy with no dad and a sick mom, taking his little sister over to Zane’s grandma’s house so she could be fed, I definitely saw him differently.

  Maybe I was an idiot, but I swore it was the first time I really saw him as a human being.

  “That’s incredible, Dolly.” I smiled at her, kinda wishing I’d known my own grandma. Both of mine were long gone when I was born. “They were so lucky to have you.”

  “Well, I did what I could. Mind you, we didn’t have a whole lot more, but my grandkids always lived better than that.” Her kindly gaze lifted to Zane, who was standing over us, just in time to see him squeezing the ass of a hot blond chick in a tight metallic dress.

  Dolly shook her head a little. “What a handful they were.”

  Maggie nudged me as she leaned over, picking up on the conversation. “Imagine these guys as horny teenagers and you get the idea.”

  “You wouldn’t believe the half of it, young lady,” Dolly said. “The songs they came up with in my garage. Oh, the racket they made. This one with his screechy little voice.”

  “My ears are twitching.” Zane dropped into the love seat across from us, the blond glued to his side.

  “Oh, you’ve always been this band’s dirty mouth,” Dolly said to him, her tone teasing but proud.

  “That’s a fact,” Brody put in, joining the conversation.

  “And its pretty face,” Zane said with a giant grin.

  “And I’ve always said, Elle is the heart of you all,” Dolly said matter-of-factly. “Isn’t it strange to all be together without her.”

  “That it is,” Zane agreed.

  I met Jesse’s gaze. I wasn’t sure how to take Dolly’s assessment, though I was privately relieved that Elle wasn’t here. He sipped his beer, his eyes on mine.

  “But my Jesse,” Dolly said. “You’ve always been the soul of Dirty.”

  “Thanks, Dolly,” Jesse said.

  “I’ll drink to that.” Brody raised his glass. “To Jesse, and a killer new album. With soul.”

  We all cheered to Jesse once again, and swigged our beers.

  “So what does that make me, Doll?” Dylan asked. The big drummer waggled his eyebrows. “The brains of the band?”

  “I think you mean brawn,” Maggie said.

  “Aw, honey,” Dolly said, and took a sip of her beer. “Everyone knows you’re its balls.”

  Dylan choked on his beer. The other guys whooped with laughter.

  Zane laughed so hard he fell off the love seat, nearly taking the blond with him.

  ◊◊◊

  It was getting louder in the club as the anticipation of Jesse’s set built and the crowd thickened. Arctic Monkeys’ R U Mine? was blasting and I was somewhere near the bottom of my third beer when Devi arrived. She dropped into a seat next to me, which Brody vacated for her, and Dylan was quick to hand her a beer. This song always gave me serious lady sweats, so it didn’t help when I spotted Jesse returning through the crowd with Jude… in leather pants.

  Ung. I pretty much bit my tongue to keep it from falling out of my mouth.

  I had just enough time to fill Devi in on the events of the evening so far, up to and including the fact that the hot babes—of the female variety—had been multiplying at a staggering rate since I’d arrived. The chick-to-dude ratio in the VIP room was now a solid three-to-one. Zane, Dylan and Ash had women all over them. I was kind of relieved Jesse had vanished to take care of some business; I wasn’t sure how excited I was to watch random chicks climbing all over my fake date.

  I sipped my beer as I watched him work his way toward me, getting pawed all along the way. He was still wearing the velvet blazer over the soft drapey tee with the scoop neck that showed off his sexy collarbone. And yeah. Black leather pants.

  I tried really fucking hard not to stare, but no man had ever looked so good in leather pants.

  Ever.

  He was also wearing his sunglasses, indoors, in a dark club… and somehow managed not to look like a douche doing it.

  He walked over to me, nodded a greeting at Devi and crouched down next to my chair. “How’s it going, beautiful?” He pushed the shades onto his head to rest atop his silken curls.

  “Good,” I sai
d, managing not to choke on my tongue. Barely. Shit, the man was beautiful up close. The twinkly lights were sparkling in his eyes, his long lashes casting shadows. “Your friends are nice.”

  He laughed heartily at that. “Must be on their best behavior. Trying to impress my new girl.”

  My heart beat a little faster at that. I liked how it sounded coming out of his mouth. A little too much. “I told Maggie about the, um, dick pic.” It was true. She’d asked how we hooked up, and I told her. She’d laughed and rolled her eyes, but at least she seemed to buy it. Bad enough I lied to her; at least the lie went over. “I think she believed me.”

  “See?” Jesse grinned. “No problem.”

  “Right. Except everyone’s being so cool to me, I feel like an asshole lying to them.”

  His eyes narrowed a bit, twitching in a sexy almost-smile. “You’re not an asshole, Katie Bloom.” He leaned in. “Gotta get my ass backstage.” Then he kissed me on the mouth, just like that.

  I held my breath; his lips lingered longer than I expected them to. Then he slowly drew away.

  “Wish me luck,” he said.

  “You don’t need it,” I said, breathless. The man needed no help from me.

  He grinned and walked away. I watched as he and the other guys in his solo band headed off, Jude and a bunch of bouncers escorting them. When I lost sight of him, I returned my attention to Devi.

  My best friend was wearing the biggest, slyest shit-eating grin I’d ever seen on her face.

  “What?” I said, sounding a lot more pissy than I meant to.

  Her eyebrows went up. Way up. “Nothing.” Her grin morphed into a sexy expression as she said, “You’re not an asshole, Katie Bloom,” in a low voice.

  I sipped my beer, ignoring her.

  “What was that about?” she pressed.

  I sighed. “We’re telling his friends he sent me a dick pic and that’s how we got together. He was just trying to make me feel better about it.”

  “Sick.” Devi leaned in. “Let me see it.”

  “There’s no dick pic, you perv. It’s just a joke.”

  Several songs later and halfway through another beer, I was getting antsy for the show to begin. My heart rate still hadn’t returned to normal after that unexpected kiss and I was pretty much on the edge of my seat to see Jesse play live. I’d listened to his solo album about a hundred times since agreeing to this “date” and Dolly was right; the music of Jesse Mayes was lovely. It was also gritty, bluesy, dirty, dark and twisted, not to mention sexy, and addictive as all hell.

  I probably could’ve gotten up and done some dancing to work off my nervous energy; a bunch of girls had started up an impromptu dance floor in the corner of the VIP room overlooking the one below. But I had a killer view of center stage, so I wasn’t giving up my seat for any-fucking-thing. Some guy was chatting up Devi next to me but I didn’t feel like I could hold a conversation, so I just people-watched. My leg was vibrating as I tapped my foot with anticipation, so it took me a delayed moment to realize my cell phone had buzzed in the pocket of my leather jacket. Twice.

  I dug it out and swiped the screen, opening the messaging app, to find a dick pic staring me in the face.

  Um…

  I tucked the phone under the table, checked that no one was paying attention and took a furtive peek. Against my better judgment, I tapped the message, enlarging it.

  Yep. I’d just received a photo of a cock, standing tall and proud, and wrapped in a man’s hand wearing a couple of big silver rings.

  I swallowed.

  I scrolled to the next message, which said simply, Now you don’t have to lie.

  “Katie!”

  I jumped a good inch off my seat and banged my hand on the underside of the table. “Jesus!” I closed the app and tucked my phone away. Devi was standing over her seat, staring me down.

  “What the hell are you doing under there? I said your name like eight times.”

  “Nothing. Checking my messages. What’s up?”

  “I was saying, these gentlemen are buying us drinks.” She introduced me to the two guys standing next to her, but I honestly forgot their names as soon as she said them.

  “Katie, right?” one of the guys said. “Nice to meet you.”

  “You too.” I shook the offered hand but didn’t stand up. Devi was making eyes at me. I knew that look, but no way was I picking up some random dude while I was here as Jesse’s date.

  “One sec,” she said to the guys and leaned over to shout-whisper in my ear. “They’re going to a party after this. We should totally go.”

  I shout-whispered back. “I’m already on a date!”

  “A fake one!”

  “Shh!” I glanced around, but Led Zeppelin’s Black Dog was rocking the house, way too loud for anyone to hear a word of what we were saying. “It’s supposed to be real. Brush them off!”

  “Uh-uh. I’m hooking up.” She then smiled, handed over one of the cosmos that had just arrived—her favorite drink—and stood to join the guys again.

  The one who’d shaken my hand leaned in across her empty chair. “Mind if I join you?”

  “Oh. Um, actually I’m here with someone.”

  “Oh yeah?” He smiled a genuine, friendly smile. He had twinkly blue eyes and seemed nice enough. “Who’s this guy who would leave you here by yourself?”

  “Uh, Jesse Mayes?” There was really no way to say that without sounding like a bitch. I realized it as soon as it came out of my mouth.

  The guy’s smile faltered, just as an arm reached between us. A super muscular arm with a black full-sleeve tattoo of a tree with long, gnarly roots. A large fist with a big silver skull ring on the middle finger set a drink on the table. It was a champagne glass filled with shimmering bubbly, a swirl of red liqueur at the bottom.

  I looked up into Jude’s face. “From Jesse,” he said with a little more growl than was necessary. Fortunately, the growl didn’t seem to be for me.

  I glanced at the blue-eyed guy, who’d leaned back, out of my space. Any trace of a smile was gone. He glanced from Jude to me, then nodded at me. “Take care, Katie.” He leaned in to say something to his friend, who was engrossed in conversation with Devi. Then he was gone.

  Wow.

  Dude repellant, maximum strength.

  “Thanks,” I said to Jude, a little dubiously. I sipped the drink, which was amazing.

  He nodded, and I caught the barest hint of a curl to one corner of his mouth. He handed an identical champagne cocktail to Devi, then headed back to his lookout spot by the railing.

  And as I sat there sipping the drink Jesse had sent me, all I could think of was that dick pic. I fought against the temptation to pull out my phone and take another look.

  Because apparently I, Katie Bloom, was a huge perv.

  Fortunately the image was imprinted on my brain. That rock-hard cock straining in Jesse’s hand, the thick shaft filling his strong fist… and, yeah. It was fucking big.

  I swallowed and sipped my drink, glancing guiltily around, but no one seemed to notice as I crossed my legs so I could squeeze my thighs together, the flesh between my legs throbbing with need. God, it had been too long. The mere thought of Jesse taking his cock out, wrapping his own hand around it…

  Where the hell did he take that photo? The washroom?

  Did he think about me when he was getting that hard?

  Did he jerk off?

  “What the fuck,” I heard Devi say, jolting me from my dirty thoughts.

  I blinked the lust haze away as she settled into her seat next to me. The guy she’d been talking to was gone, probably to get her more drinks or something. Her red lips were parted in stunned horror. I turned to look at what she was staring at, but she grabbed my arm to stop me. “Don’t,” she hissed. “Look like you’re having fun.” Then she pasted on a brilliant Devi-smile and laughed.

  “I am having fun.”

  “Just do it!” she said through her smile.

  “Okay. This p
arty is freaking amazing. I swear I just saw that guy from The Walking Dead over there.”

  “That wasn’t him,” Devi said distractedly, still smiling. “Met him at a party once. He’s a lot shorter.” She kept snatching furtive looks across the room and it was making me uneasy. She sipped her drink and tossed her hair as she smiled bigger, like I’d just said something amazing. “I can’t fucking believe it.”

  “What the fuck is going on? Who’s over there?” I turned to look in the direction Devi was looking, over Dolly’s head.

  Devi’s hand tightened on my arm. “Slowly!” she said. “And don’t make it obvious.”

  “Okay.” I glanced around our table and the table next to us, pretending to peruse the faces of our companions. Then I glanced beyond, following the line of Devi’s furtive gaze, where Brody was standing talking to some guy—

  “Don’t stare!” Devi said, and I spun back to her.

  Because oh.

  My.

  God.

  It was Josh.

  My ex-fiancé, Josh.

  CHAPTER 9

  KATIE

  I sipped my champagne cocktail and stared at him, trying to pretend I wasn’t staring at him.

  Joshua Breckenridge, Jr.

  It was him. Dressed in a bespoke suit, because that’s what he wore at all fucking times, even to a rock ’n’ roll party.

  I slumped in my chair, trying to instantaneously vanish.

  “Do not,” Devi hissed at me. “Sit up fucking straight.”

  I sat up. “What the hell is he doing here?”

  “I don’t know.” Devi set her glass down on the table. “Don’t worry, babe. I’m all over it.”

  With that, she stood and sashayed her little butt straight over to Maggie. If anyone could get the goods, Devi would.

  I finished my champagne and started into the cosmo, and Devi returned in record time. “He owns the fucking bar,” she said, sitting down. “Or daddy does. Whatever. Apparently they put in a bid to host this party and made Jesse’s management an offer they couldn’t refuse. How much do you want to bet he saw you in that video?” She flicked her chin at the big screens, which were now playing the Dirty Like Me video on a loop. Me and Jesse, larger than life. Going at it.