by Linda Bridey
Will couldn’t meet her eyes. “You’re right. That was selfish of me. It was wrong. I’m sorry.”
“Sorry? You’re damn right you’re sorry!” she shouted, as she wrapped the covers around her. “You accuse me of lying and cheating, but I didn’t. Then you make love to me and tell me that it doesn’t mean anything? If I’d have known that last night, I would have never let it happen. You should have told me. I’d say you’re the dishonest one, Will. Not me.”
“I never said that if we made love it meant we were getting back together. I don’t recall saying anything of the kind, either before we made love or any time after that. I’m not sure why you would just assume that.” Will said.
Rachel’s voice held a nasty tone as she said, “Well, don’t worry. I won’t assume anything of the kind ever again. Now, I have to get ready for work too, so I would appreciate it if you would leave.”
Will opened his mouth to say something, then decided against it. Striding out to the parlor, he found his coat and left.
Rachel sagged back onto the bed when she heard the door shut. She felt humiliated and hurt. Again. How could she have been so wrong? Apparently, she hadn’t learned anything from her disastrous relationship with Brendon. She got out of bed, using her anger and pain to fuel her determination to never let herself be in this position again.
*****
“I found your wayward houseguest,” Owl shouted down from the hayloft to Seth. “He’s up here.”
Seth walked over to the ladder. “How’d he get up there?”
Owl grinned at Seth, his black eyes filled with mischief. “You’re standing right by how.”
“Very funny. I know he used the ladder. What I meant was why is he up there?”
Owl shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ll get him up and send him down.”
“Good idea. We don’t have time to be playin’ hide and seek. We’ve been huntin’ him for almost an hour,” Seth complained.
Owl crouched next to Switch and shook him. There was no response so Owl shook him again. “Switch, get up.” Nothing. Owl grew concerned and rolled Switch completely over on his back. Though Switch began snoring loudly, he never woke up. Owl roughly shook him, but Switch barely opened his eyes.
Owl went back over to the ladder. “I can’t get him to wake up.”
“Oh, for cryin’ out loud,” Seth said.
Dean brushed by him and began climbing the ladder. “I’ll get him up, Owl. I used to go through this with Jack all the time.”
“Ok. You try,” Owl said, as he crossed his arms over his chest. “I know how to wake someone up.”
Dean just smiled at him and stepped over to Switch’s prone form. “Switch! Get up!” Dean practically screamed.
Switch stirred a little and opened his eyes a little. Dean pressed his advantage. He lightly slapped Switch’s cheek. “C’mon, son. Time to get up.”
“Where am I?” Switch asked as he sat up, rubbing his eyes.
“In our hayloft. When did you come out here?” Dean saw Switch’s eyes begin to close again and got a hold on one of his arms and began pulling. “Oh no, you don’t. On your feet, Switch.”
“Ok,” Switch said on a yawn and got unsteadily to his feet. He leaned against Dean, who was shocked to hear him begin to snore again.
“What the hell?” Dean asked.
Owl snickered at the sight of Dean holding up a soundly sleeping Switch. “You did a great job, Dean.”
Dean threw him a dirty look. “What’s wrong with him?”
Seth hollered up, “Is he drunk?”
Dean sniffed the young man, but detected no trace of alcohol on him. “Nope. Not drunk. Just sound asleep standing up.”
“You’re kiddin’,” Seth said.
Owl motioned him to come up the ladder. “You have to see this.”
Seth climbed up, mumbling about his bad leg the whole time. When he saw Dean supporting Switch as they stood in the hayloft, he broke out into laughter. “Where’s one of Joe’s cameras when you need it. I’d love to have a picture of that.”
Dean smiled. He knew that it had to look funny. “Where’s Luke?”
“Over in the other barn. Why?” Seth asked.
“Well, we gotta get him down from here and I can’t carry him. He weighs about as much as I do,” Dean said.
Owl said, “We don’t need Luke. I can carry him. He weighs no more than the deer I haul home.”
Dean looked at him. “Ok. Go ahead.”
Owl hoisted Switch over his shoulder and stepped carefully onto the ladder. When he was about halfway down, Seth was able to get a grip on Switch and help get him down the rest of the way.
“Good God, he’s out cold,” Seth said, as he put one of Switch’s arms around his shoulders while Owl got on the other side.
Together they got Switch over to Seth’s house, which was closer to the barns. As they laid him on the sofa, Maddie came into the room.
“What happened to him?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” Seth said. “He won’t wake up.”
Owl said, “I’ll go get Mike. Maybe he can figure it out.”
Maddie felt Switch’s forehead. “He’s freezing,” she said. “Where did you find him?”
“In the hayloft. I don’t know how long he was out there,” Seth said. “I don’t know why he went out there.”
“Take off his boots, Seth. It doesn’t look like he’ll be getting up any time soon. We might as well make him comfortable,” Maddie said. “Poor thing.”
Seth gave her a curious look as he pulled off Switch’s boots. “What makes you say that?”
“There’s something strange going on with him, Seth. He said yesterday that Elizabeth is going to kick him out if he doesn’t find a profession within a couple of weeks,” Maddie said.
“If that’s the case, he’s going to wind up homeless,” Mike said from behind them. Both of them jumped.
Seth said, “I keep tellin’ you to make more noise when you come into a room, Mike.”
“Sorry.”
Maddie looked at her nephew. “What do you mean?”
“Switch can’t hold down full-time employment with his disorder,” Mike said.
“What’s wrong with him?” Maddie said. “Elizabeth has never said anything about him being sick.”
Mike’s lips compressed into a thin line of anger before he replied. “She wouldn’t because Switch has a mental disorder. She doesn’t want anyone to know. He’s been to all kinds of doctors, but there’s never been an official diagnosis given and apparently no way to treat it except with laudanum sometimes when it’s at its worst.”
Seth frowned. “Doesn’t she understand that?”
“I don’t think she wants to. People just don’t understand mental illness or care to a lot of times. She thinks he’s faking his illness. Switch’ll be fine. He probably won’t wake up until around one or thereabouts,” Mike said. “The reason he was out in the barn was because he didn’t sleep last night. He doesn’t sometimes. I don’t know what he does at home to pass the time, but he was probably just being considerate so he didn’t make noise and wake anyone up.”
Maddie put an afghan over him and ran a hand over his hair. “He’s such a sweet boy. I don’t understand why she would feel ashamed of him.”
“It’s terrible when a parent turns on a child,” Mike said. “Just like Uncle Rick’s mother did by beating him and starving him. I’ll bet he was a cute kid, too. No wonder he had such severe mental issues. Who wouldn’t? Well, he’ll wake up and be fine. I’m gonna help Pa with a couple of things.”
Mike’s words sent a shockwave through Maddie. The mention of her illegitimate brother always caused feelings of dislike. She and Rick hadn’t seen eye to eye from the moment Maddie had found out that he was her brother, a product of her father’s affair with Rick’s mother.
She didn’t know whether her nephew had been trying to send her a message about her resistance to settling their differences, but as she looked down at
Switch, the mother in her become angry at the thought of any child being abused, regardless of what they’d done. Had she been wrong to be so judgmental of Rick simply because his revelation about his paternity had caused her embarrassment?
Seth saw her thoughtful expression, but didn’t say anything to her. He didn’t want to intrude on whatever she was thinking. He’d attempted to discuss Rick with her on several occasions, but she had steadfastly refused to talk about it with him. It was the only area he’d ever known his wife to be so stubborn and cynical about.
“Well honey, I’d better get back to it since we had to spend so much time finding him,” Seth said with a chuckle. “I’m just glad he didn’t try to walk home in the middle of the night.”
“Me, too,” Maddie said, as Seth kissed her cheek and rested a hand on her stomach for a moment before leaving.
Hope came in the kitchen door and rushed into the parlor. “J.R. said that they found him in the barn. Is he ok?”
Maddie smiled and nodded. “Yes. He’s fine. He just has some problems and needs help. Mike says he’ll be fine when he wakes up later on.”
Hope was surprised to see tears in Maddie’s eyes. “Are you all right?”
“Yes. No. I suppose. Hope, will you walk with me over to Tessa’s? I don’t want to take a chance of falling,” she said.
“Of course,” Hope said.
Maddie quickly donned her outerwear and the trip was made safely, since J.R. had already shoveled a path over to the other house. Tessa was washing dishes when they went inside.
“Hello, ladies,” Tessa said. “If you want coffee, there’s some on the stove.”
“No, thank you,” Hope said. “I’m going to go work on my journal. See you after a bit.”
Tessa and Maddie smiled as she went back out the door. Tessa looked at her sister and saw that she was upset about something.
“What is it, Maddie?” Tessa said as she dried her hands.
“Were you aware that Switch has a mental disorder of some sort?” she asked.
Tessa nodded. “Mike mentioned it to me last evening after his fine performance,” she said smiling.
Maddie smiled briefly. “He’s very lovable, isn’t he?”
“I’m so glad I’m not the only one who noticed that,” Tessa said, as she sat at the table. “Madeline, what’s on your mind?”
Maddie said, “I know that you and Rick have become quite close over the last couple of years.”
Tessa nodded. “We have. Please don’t tell me you’re jealous.”
“What?” Maddie asked sharply. “Of course not. I didn’t come to argue about him, if that’s what you think. I’m sure by now you know the full story about his past.”
“Yes. He’s been very frank about it,” Tessa said.
“Please tell me and don’t leave out anything,” Maddie said.
“Maddie, I don’t think that’s a good idea in your present condition,” Tessa said. “It’s not for the faint of heart.”
“When have you ever known me to be faint of heart since I moved here? I’ve been through everything you have. Please tell me. It’s important,” Maddie said.
Tessa looked into her sister’s beseeching eyes and asked, “Are you absolutely certain? Because it is shocking and appalling and gruesome and that is not the writer in me being dramatic.”
Maddie said, “Yes. I’m sure. Go ahead.”
Tessa took a calming breath and began the story.
Chapter Twenty-three
Will arrived home late from work to a cold house. He started a fire in the parlor and the kitchen stove and lay down on the sofa in the parlor to wait until it was warm enough inside to take off his coat. It had not been a good day at all. The rift between him and Rachel had become a chasm, across which there would be no passing.
Instead of bringing him a measure of relief, it only worsened his misery and self-loathing. Although he hadn’t said anything to her about resuming their relationship before they’d slept together, in the back of his mind, he’d known that she might view it as such. He didn’t care at that point because his desire was more important to him than her feelings. Shame burned within him at the knowledge that he could do something like that.
He sighed as someone knocked on his front door. There were two people on his front porch, Brendon LeFevre and Mitch Taylor.
“Uh, hi. What’s going on?” Will asked.
Mitch’s face held a serious expression. “That’s what I’d like to know.”
“C’mon in,” Will said.
As the two men came inside, Will noticed that Brendon wore handcuffs. He was about to shut the door when Jack put out a hand to stop it.
“Hi, Will,” Jack said.
“Hi, Jack,” Will said. He looked to make sure no one else was coming in and then closed the door.
Mitch said, “This piece of shit says he has something he needs to tell you, but that he’ll only tell you in private. So I’m gonna go stand outside the back door and Jack is gonna stand outside the front. Knock on the back door when you’re done talking.”
Will watched in confusion as Mitch and Jack each went their respective ways. Then he turned his attention back to Brendon. “What do you want now? I thought I told you to leave town or I was gonna kill you.”
“You did and I was going to, but then this storm hit and the stagecoach wasn’t going anywhere. Rachel made it very clear to me the other day that she has no feelings for me any longer. I came to apologize to you for continuing to create problems between you. I just didn’t know what I had in her until after thing ended between us,” Brendon said.
Will strode up to Brendon and jabbed his chest with a forefinger. “You kissed her! You put your hands on her! If it weren’t for the fact that there are two lawmen outside my house, you really would be dead.” His body felt hot from the intensity of his anger.
“I only kissed her because I had to know if there was still anything between us.” Brendon’s smile was resigned. “There isn’t. Not on her part, anyway. I could tell. A man knows when a woman doesn’t share the same feelings for him as he does her. I came to tell you that and to ask that you not be angry with her. It wasn’t her fault, Will. She loves you and I hope you’ll be very happy together.”
Will felt his stomach drop unpleasantly as Brendon’s words sunk in. Guilt replaced his anger and burned twice as brightly in him. He felt nauseous, but swallowed and said, “Fine. Thanks.” He went into the kitchen and opened the door for Mitch.
“All done?” Mitch asked as he looked curiously at Will.
Will nodded. “Yep.”
Mitch walked into the parlor and took Brendon by the arm, propelling him toward the front door. He opened it and spoke to Jack for a moment. Will expected Mitch to go with them, but the sheriff closed the door and turned back to Will.
“Let’s sit down Will, so you can tell me what the hell is going on with you and my daughter,” Mitch said as he sat in a chair.
The burning in Will’s stomach intensified yet again as he sat down. “We’ve had a difference of opinion.”
Mitch snorted. “I guess you did since she’s no longer wearing her engagement ring. She won’t talk about it, though. Not to me, not to Sammi, not anyone. What did you do to her?”
“I didn’t …” Will had been about to deny that he was at fault for anything, but he couldn’t do it because he suddenly realized it wasn’t true.
“You didn’t what, Will?”
Will looked at Mitch for a moment and then said, “I didn’t trust her enough, Mitch. That’s what I did. I let jealousy get in the way of good sense and now I’ve hurt the woman I love very deeply.”
Mitch appreciated Will’s honesty. “So what do you intend to do about it?”
“I think it’s too late,” Will said. “The damage has been done and I don’t think there’s any way to repair it.”
“Will, I don’t buy that. You create and repair things every day. It might take some time to figure it out, but I’m sure you can do
it. You owe it to the both of you to at least try,” Mitch said. “I’ve never seen her as happy as she’s been with you. Not even when she and Reckless were courting. Don’t give up without trying your best. Well, I’m going home. It’s been a hell of a day.”
Will followed Mitch to the door, who opened it and was almost knocked on.
“Oh, Sheriff Taylor. Sorry about that,” the man on the porch said. “I wasn’t expecting the door to open. Is Will here?”
“Mr. Keller?” Will said as Mitch moved out of the way. “Is everything ok?”
“Well, no, actually. Have you seen Justin lately?” Mr. Keller asked.
“Not for a couple of days. Why?”
“He hasn’t been home for two days now and no one around town has seen him. I’m worried that something’s happened to him,” Mr. Keller said.
“He hasn’t? That’s not like him. I know he spent the night before last at the Lakota camp with our friend, Hawk, but I haven’t seen him since then. I thought he was at home or something,” Will said.
“No. He’s just recently started feeling better again, and I’m worried that maybe he went back the other way,” Mr. Keller said. His dark eyes were alight with worry and a little bit of embarrassment. “Sheriff, we need to find him.”
Mitch sighed. “Jay, the problem is it’s after dark, the wind has kicked up, and traveling around is gonna be dangerous. Wait. Was Hawk in to work today?”
“Yeah, but he didn’t say that Switch was still at the camp. If Switch was, Hawk would have told me. He gets a real kick out of him. It didn’t occur to me to ask where he’d gone and Hawk never said,” Will told them.
Mitch said, “I’ll bet Raven or Reckless would know. One of them should be at the Watering Hole by now. It’s easier to get to in this weather than the camp. Jay, go on home. I’ll find your boy and bring him there, if not tonight then tomorrow morning.”
Mr. Keller nodded. “All right. Thank you. I’ll let Elizabeth know.”
“Sure thing,” Mitch said.
Mr. Keller left and Will put on his coat again. “I’ll come with you,” he told Mitch.