Her tears finally spilled down her cheeks and she hugged him so fiercely her arms ached. He hugged her back, and they sat like that for what felt like forever. It felt like forever, and yet it still wasn't enough.
Eventually, they pulled back, and Sebastian took a seat beside her, grabbing his hot chocolate from the bedside table. Jasmine got hers, too, and they clinked their mugs together.
"To my dad," he said, eyes still red, but a genuine smile on his face. "To his life." Sebastian nodded appreciatively when he drank, and they leaned against each other. "Tell me about you, about what you've been up to," he said, drinking deeply again. "Distract me."
"I told my friends about you," she admitted, waiting for his face to fall and for him accuse her of putting him in danger.
None of those things came. "What did they say?"
"They already knew you were twenty-five, so the whole teacher thing didn't actually become that much of an issue. They mostly just feel sorry for me. No judgment."
"I feel sorry for us, too," he murmured, tightening his arms around her. "I want you to know that I'm waiting for the end of the year. I can't even look at anyone else, you're the only one that I want, Jasmine."
Her heart was soaring, even though it seemed like the most inappropriate of moments. "Me too. I just want you. I just wish I didn't have to wait so long. That's the only bad part. I'd be so happy all the time if we could just be together."
"There are only six months to go," he tried to give the same pep talk as her friends, but it still wasn't very reassuring. "It'll go by so fast. And then we'll have the rest of our lives together."
But the endless doubts still nagged at Jasmine. "Do you really think I'm good enough for you? I'm so young, I don't want to get married or have kids until after my degree and you were engaged at twenty-two."
Sebastian ran fingers through her hair. "I could deal with not getting married and not having kids at all if it meant I got to keep you."
"I don't want you to have to settle for me."
"I'm not settling for anything. You want to get married and you want to have kids, when doesn't matter to me. This gives me time to do my masters, anyway, before settling down properly. It's perfect." He pressed a kiss to her temple. "Being with you is always going to be perfect, Jasmine."
Her heart swelled, and she snuggled further into him. She believed him, her doubts floating away as she reveled in the feeling of him against her.
Their evening went in ups and downs, of remembering Sebastian's dad, and then remembering that he was gone. They sat in bed, and they held each other, because it was the only thing that seemed to make sense.
Twenty-Three
Sebastian
Sebastian didn't let go of Jasmine's hand for the entire funeral, except for when he got up to do his speech commemorating his dad's life.
Even then, his eyes stayed on her. Watched the way her face crumpled as he spoke, and tears glistened in her eyes. When he saw that, it was almost impossible to forget how Callie had reacted when they'd been together and his mom had a cancer scare.
She'd only made everything worse.
Jasmine made everything better. She kept him together when he knew he'd have been falling apart otherwise.
Beside her sat Sarah, and Sarah clutched her hand throughout his speech.
Afterward, he returned to his seat and Jasmine leaned across to press a kiss to his cheek. "That was beautiful," she said, lacing their fingers together once more.
His dad would have wanted the funeral to be a celebration, to try and cheer people up, but no one could quite manage it. The eighties music he'd loved was happy in the background, but no one sang along or danced. The food went mostly untouched.
Sebastian wondered if the ache in his chest would ever go away. It had already existed from being apart from Jasmine, but now it was a permanent burn. It felt like a cavern.
She'd stayed at his place the past three nights, but that had to be it. They were already risking too much, and he refused to lose her. If he ever lost her, he'd hate himself.
But if he lost his job, he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to forgive himself enough to be with her properly. It would ruin them.
That was what made him change his mind about her staying at his place that night, no matter how much he needed her. She had to go home. He'd been selfish enough, keeping her in his arms to make himself feel better. In the short term it did wonders, but in the long term it might ruin them forever, and he couldn't live with that.
She hugged everyone at the funeral with tight grips and tears in her eyes, and Sebastian knew it was going to be the last time they saw her for six months.
How he was going to explain it, he had no idea. He'd say they broke up, and then after graduation there'd be a happy reunion. He'd say they went their separate ways, not slander her or make her out to be the bad guy in any way, and then there'd be no reason they wouldn't welcome her back with open arms.
He'd just have to hide how miserable he knew he'd be without her.
They walked to his car hand-in-hand, with Jasmine's head resting against his shoulder. "You okay?" she asked, squeezing his hand.
"I'll be okay." He would, eventually, when he could always have her there to take away the pain. "I think I should take you home tonight."
She hid her disappointment, not wanting anything to upset him more right now. "Okay. If you're sure."
They rode in silence, both their hearts heavy with reality. Outside her house, he hesitated in shutting off the engine.
"I know this is going to be the last time we see each other before graduation," she said, hands linked together in her lap. "So I just want you to know that you can text me at any time. I'll always be around if you just need a phone call or anything."
He reached over and kissed her. It was a long, drawn out, sensual kiss that turned his insides to jelly. When he pulled back, her cheeks were flush, and her eyes were alive. He wished that look got to stay on her face forever.
"I'll call you if I need to," he promised, though he'd do his best to refrain from it. He refused to convince himself that it was okay to see her by calling her every night. He wouldn't fall into that trap.
She smiled and leaned forward, kissing him again. "I love you," she whispered against his lips, voice suddenly hoarse with tears.
"I love you too, Jasmine."
She left the car after that, giving him a small wave before disappearing in the house. He stared after her for a long moment before pulling himself together and driving home.
It was only six months, and he'd force himself to get through them.
Twenty-Four
Jasmine
Christmas morning had always been Jasmine's favorite time of year. Her parents would both be sat, waiting for her. It was the day when she got their undivided attention.
Business didn't happen on Christmas Day, and so there was nothing more important than her for them to rush off to. She didn't care about the presents, her parents had always spoiled her throughout the year, so that wasn't anything special. Getting to sit in the kitchen whilst her dad cooked the turkey and her mom set the table: that was special.
This year, there was a dampener on the day the moment she got up.
This year, her parents had crushed her dreams, and she wasn't even sure she wanted to spend the whole day with their undivided attention.
Still, she slipped on her Christmas onesie and brought herself downstairs with a genuine girlish smile on her face.
The excitement wasn't entirely lost.
Her parents were sat on the couch together in the lounge, watching the morning news. They hadn't even started opening cards because they were waiting for her.
"Merry Christmas!" Jasmine chorused from the doorway. Both her parents jumped up and enveloped her in a hug, repeating her sentiment back to her.
They did presents and cards like normal, Christmas carols on in the background, and all thanked each other.
Jasmine had still put as much effort
as normal into finding their presents, and, like normal, they were both surprised and pleased that she'd got them something they really wanted.
Upstairs, Jasmine had a present for Sebastian. She still hadn't worked out how she was going to get it to him, whether he'd even like it—not that it was anything special, or expensive—but she'd wrapped it and kept it upstairs nonetheless. Even if she had to give it to him on graduation, it would get to him.
They moved into the kitchen after presents, her dad starting to mill around getting various food prepped. Jasmine sat at the table peeling vegetables like normal. Her mom sat with a glass of wine and fiddled with the radio whenever a carol she didn't like came on.
"I didn't see a present from your boyfriend under the tree," her mom teased, raising a brow. She'd always been a lightweight when it came to drinking, and Christmas was one of the only days Jasmine ever saw her let loose.
She rolled her eyes. "I already told you he's not my boyfriend. We just went on a few dates."
"One of them being to a wedding."
"And another to a funeral," her dad chimed in.
She sighed. "We're just friends. I wasn't expecting a present from him."
"So you didn't get him one?" her mom leaned forward, knowing.
Jasmine couldn't control her flush under the accusation. "Yes, but I haven't given it to him yet. I will do next time I see him."
"Which will be?"
"Oh, leave her alone, love. She's just teasing you," my dad intervened with a chuckle.
"I know." Only it hurt to be teased because it was so far from the truth. She couldn't just pop out and see Sebastian to give him his Christmas present, and that stung. "So do you have any plans for the evening?" she diverted the subject back to something less painful. "Or are we staying in and playing board games all night?"
Jasmine was meeting Brad and Evie for an hour for them to exchange presents, but otherwise, she didn't have anything planned. Despite everything, she hoped her parents were going to stay in and pay attention to her, like normal.
"Well, you're a big girl now, we figured you'd have plans so we're going to a Christmas party our mutual friend is hosting."
Jasmine read mutual business opportunity between the lines and smothered any of the disappointment on her face. "That's okay. I have plans to go and meet Brad and Evie later."
Unfortunately, both their families actually cared to spend time with them, so the hour was all Jasmine would be getting out of them.
Deflated, she pulled out her phone and saw she already had a text from Sebastian. It was a simple: Merry Christmas, thinking of you.
She smiled in spite of herself, and typed back.
Merry Christmas to you, too. Love you.
His Love you too. was instant.
Even if she was going to spend Christmas alone, that simple exchange seemed to make all the difference.
Twenty-Five
Sebastian
Sebastian had stayed over at his mom's on Christmas eve, along with the rest of his family. It was strange, not having his dad there to cut the turkey and comment on how in his day they'd wrapped all their presents in old newspaper.
It was still fun, though. The memories they told about him around the dinner table caused only laughter and no tears. Even as people started to get a little tipsy, it didn't derail.
It was turning out to be one of the best Christmases they’d had together. Having Lauren back made it nostalgic.
Sebastian hadn't drunk because he still had a nagging sadness at the back of his mind.
He excused himself from the table and disappeared into the hallway, pulling out his phone and dialing Jasmine's number.
"Hey," she answered, surprised. "What's up?"
"Are you alone?"
"Yes."
He made a noise of discontent. "I kind of figured you might be. Do you want to come to mine? Or, well, my mom's. We're going to start with the board games and charades and stuff soon."
Her pleased intake of breath was enough of an answer for him, even as she made herself say "oh, I don't want to intrude. You know it's not a good idea."
"I'll be at yours in fifteen minutes," he said instead, grin almost splitting his face. His family had been nagging him about what she was doing all day, and he'd lied and said she was spending it with her family. From everything she'd told him about them, he'd had a feeling she'd be spending Christmas alone.
And no one should have to do that.
Twenty-Six
Jasmine
Jasmine set down the large glass of wine she'd poured—it would be her second of the night and probably a bad idea considering she was now going to be spending Christmas with Sebastian.
Everything in her tingled with the sudden rush of joy, and she grabbed the present she'd thought she wouldn't get to give him until graduation.
She should have protested harder, told him that they couldn't see each other, that it was the worst idea. But she hadn't, because this would make her so happy she could cry.
Grabbing her purse, she shoved the present inside, making sure she had her phone and a spare pair of underwear just in case she ended up staying the night.
Sebastian was outside her house in no time, and she poured the wine down the sink, not caring that her parents had probably spent a lot of money on it. They had money to burn, and she didn't owe them anything.
Inside his car, they turned to each other and kissed. It was short and sweet, but they pulled away grinning. "Merry Christmas!" they told each other.
Jasmine leaned forwards for another kiss. "I'm so glad I got to see you on Christmas day," she gushed, rifling in her purse and then pressing the present into his hand. "I thought this might be stuck on my desk until graduation."
He looked at the thin present, eying it up, before tearing into it.
He had to flick on the overhead light to read what was on the paper. "It's a really shitty gift, I'm sorry, but I couldn't resist."
Sebastian only laughed and kissed her. "It's amazing. Congratulations."
The Madison Orchestra had finally bumped her up from the Junior section. She was the main harpist of the Madison Symphony Orchestra, and she'd nabbed a front row ticket for her first performance for Sebastian. It wasn't until after graduation, so there would be no issues with that.
She hadn't even told her parents about it, but Evie and Brad would get tickets too if they wanted them.
Sebastian handed her a bigger, wrapped present as well. "Here."
She tore into it without hesitation, and her cheeks flushed at the image which stared back at her. It had been taken at the wedding, and she knew exactly when. It was when Sebastian and Blake had just returned from comforting her sister. Jasmine had been so urgent to see Sebastian, to be with him, and the picture captured that perfectly. They stood opposite, her hand on his arm, their gazes heated.
"It's beautiful," she whispered, fingers clutching the frame. "Thank you. I love it."
She leaned forward and kissed him again, almost tempted to invite him back into her house, to fuck him in her bed for a change. Seeing them like that, it had sent heat roaring through her body.
His family would be waiting for them, though, so she restrained herself and let Sebastian take off driving.
At his house, she sat at Sebastian's side and laughed for a solid five hours, until the clock struck twelve and it was no longer Christmas anymore. They drank and talked and played games until no one could stop yawning.
Her house which had felt so filled with just her parents paying her attention seemed empty compared to this. She got no special treatment from his family: she was just one of them. It felt so natural being with Sebastian that it ached.
He'd bend down and just kiss her sometimes, a little peck on the cheek or the lips. Just because he could, and that was special.
By the end of the night, she was more than a little bit tipsy, along with the rest of his family, who were flat-out drunk. Sebastian's arm was wrapped around her waist and she leaned i
nto his side, a content smile on her face.
"This has been my favorite Christmas," she whispered to him, snuggling further into him. "Thank you."
He smiled back, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "This has been my favorite Christmas, too. You make everything perfect, Jasmine."
Twenty-Seven
Sebastian
"I'm in no fit state to drive you home," he apologized when his family started making moves to head up to bed. "I've had a few too many beers."
She grinned, linking their fingers together, and managing to do it sensually. "I was hoping that might be the case."
Sebastian had his own room in the house. It was the same house he'd grown up in, and there was plenty of room for everyone to stay. He couldn't say he was very disappointed that he had to stay here and share a bed with Jasmine, either.
They said their goodnights and headed upstairs. "There's a spare toothbrush under the counter," he called after Jasmine before she locked herself in the bathroom.
He'd already cleaned his teeth, so he pulled on his pajama bottoms and got into bed, cock already hard beneath the comforter.
It had been so long since he'd had her. Every night he was like this, rock hard and with images of her dancing in his mind.
This really was going to be the best Christmas ever.
She returned to the room and shut the door, glancing at the lock and then twisting it.
Her smile was intoxicating. "You know, I didn't bring any pajamas with me," she said, fingers playing with the hem of her dress. "I guess I'll have to just sleep naked."
She lifted off her dress to reveal her underwear, and he sucked in a sharp breath, hand moving beneath his pants to stroke his hard shaft slowly. She was so gorgeous it struck him speechless sometimes. Like now: with her black curls falling over her pale skin, plump bottom lip between her teeth and pushing her panties down her legs all for him.
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