I scribbled on a yellow sticky, not as I was wracked with anxiety. “I agree. It would be temporary. Hassan said four to six months of bicoastal.”
“It sounds like you already made your mind up.”
“I haven’t because it means I’ll be away from you.”
“When does this reality take place?”
I hesitated because I knew it would be the final straw and Austin would explode when I told him.
“Start of the year.”
I held my breath as I heard him curse on the other side of the line.
“You mean the time we’re getting married and going on our honeymoon? That start of the year?”
“Yes,” I said quietly.
“Fucking dammit. We should postpone everything then. I don’t want to be a newlywed without my wife.”
I crumpled up the paper and threw it in the can behind my desk. “I would be home for a few days a week.”
“That’s not good enough for me. I want you here all the time.”
“You’re forcing me to choose between my career and my husband.”
The tone of his voice was like ice, and it made me shudder. “I’m not your husband yet, and it looks like it’s going to be a while before that happens.”
“Why can’t you take the semester off?”
“Why don’t I just quit my job and let my wife support me? Hey, here’s an even better idea. Have a baby, and I’ll become a stay at home, daddy? You bring home the bacon, and I’ll fry it. Sound good?”
“You don’t have to be sarcastic.”
“I can’t quit my job. I love teaching, and if you knew me at all, you would know that. Besides, we’re losing one of our professors to maternity leave, and I need to pick up a couple of sections to cover for next semester. I can’t take off.”
“Can we discuss this when I get home?”
“Which home? Yours? Here’s another idea, why don’t I sell my house. Would you like that?”
“This conversation is not productive. You’re angry, and I get it.”
Austin’s voice raised another octave. “Do you, Samantha? Do you get it or are you just trying to appease me?”
I raised mine to match his. “Appease you? I think it’s too late for that. You’re already pissed off.”
“I’ll see you tonight. My house.”
Austin hung up before I could answer, and I sat there looking at the receiver before I put it into the cradle. I hoped I would never have to have this conversation with him, but it was happening. I spent the rest of the day in a fog and left just after five, barely looking at Antonio as I slipped into the car for the drive to Austin’s.
“Samantha, is everything alright?”
“Not really. I have a dilemma.”
“Can I help?”
“I’m not sure anyone can.”
“Tell me, maybe I can offer some advice.”
“I’ve been asked by Spotlight to spend a few months in New York getting an office up and running. I would be bicoastal during that time, splitting days between here and there. Austin is not happy, and I understand, but he’s angry. He wants to postpone the wedding.”
“That is a dilemma. Have you asked him to come with you?”
“He can’t take time off from his position, and he’s not too keen on me being away a few days a week.”
“Suppose you don’t take on the role?”
“Then, my position with Spotlight might be diminished. In other words, I could be demoted. I could never stay if that happened. I love my job. I don’t want to start over somewhere else.”
“Would that be so bad? You’ve worked for Spotlight several years. Maybe it’s time to move on.”
“If I take the job, then my salary and bonuses increase.”
“Is it about the money? What’s more important to you? Austin or your career?”
“Austin, of course. I don’t want to lose him, but it seems all we do is fight lately.”
“He loves you, and he’s afraid to lose you.”
“He wouldn’t lose me.”
“Not in theory, but physically, you would not be with him. I see how you two are together. He loves you deeply.”
“For the first time in a long time, I don’t know what to do.”
“Take some time and think about what you want and what’s important.”
“Thank you, Antonio. You’re very wise.”
“I wasn’t always a driver. I used to be a psychologist.”
“Really? Why did you leave?”
“I got burnt out. I wanted something less mentally fatiguing.”
“I’m not sure driving in Los Angeles is less mentally fatiguing.”
“With some of the patients I had, I assure you it is.”
He pulled into Austin’s driveway and let me off at the door. I hugged him as I stepped out.
“Hear him out and work the problem together,” Antonio said.
“I will. Thank you.”
I called for Austin when I entered and got no response. I knew he was home since his car was in the driveway. I put my purse down and began to hunt the house for him, finding him sitting by the pool. Three empty beer bottles were next to him on the ground, and he was sipping a fourth.
“Well, well, look who’s home.”
“You’re drinking?” I asked.
“My, aren’t we observant.”
“We should talk.”
Austin waved his hand as if to dismiss me. “What’s to talk about? Your mind is made up. Have fun in New York.”
“My mind isn’t made up. I have options.”
I sat down on a chaise next to him and reached out to touch his arm. He flinched and pulled away as if I burned him, spilling beer on my skirt.
“You’re not ready to talk. You’re drunk.”
“I’m not drunk. I have a pretty good buzz going on though.”
“Then we can talk when you don’t have a buzz. I’m going to change.”
I got up, and Austin grabbed me by my wrist, squeezing too hard and pulling me on his lap. “Oww, you’re hurting me. Let go.”
“And you hurt me, so how does it feel?” he growled.
I scrambled off his lap and kicked at one of the beer bottles. It went rolling across the pool deck and smashed against the leg of the chaise sending fragments of glass across the concrete.
Austin sat straight up and pointed at the glass. “Dammit! Clean that up.”
“Fuck you, Austin. Is this what you’ll do when we have a real issue?”
“You don’t think this is a real issue?”
“I think it can be worked out.”
He gulped his beer. “Do you now?”
“I do, but you don’t want to discuss it.”
I headed for the sliding glass door and slammed it as I went inside. I was so angry at Austin. I went to the bedroom and changed out of the skirt which stunk of beer. A few minutes later, he entered the house, and I heard the clink of bottles on the counter.
“Samantha,” he bellowed.
I didn’t answer him, and he came into the closet as I was pulling off my shirt. He looked hungrily at my lavender lace bra and licked his lips.
“Sober up. We can talk later.” I slipped my blouse back on and buttoned it, looking for a pair of shorts in the drawer.
He blocked the doorway. “Don’t tell me what to do.”
“Obviously.”
“You don’t like it? You can leave.”
I looked up at him, forcing back the sting of tears. “Is that what you want?”
“As a matter of fact, it is.”
Austin stepped aside and followed me out of the closet, picking up a full bottle of beer he had set down on the dresser. I retrieved my phone and punched in a text to Antonio.
“I’ll talk to you when you can discuss things rationally.”
“That might be never. Why did you say yes?”
I stared at him. “Yes, to what?”
“Why did you agree to marry me?”
“I love you.”
“I know you love your job, and you love yourself, but I doubt you put me first.”
“Stop talking before you say something you don’t mean.”
“I mean everything I’m saying.”
Austin began to slur his words, and I knew he was no longer buzzed, but drunk as he downed the last of his beer.
“I’m going to wait outside. You’re an ass.”
“I’m an ass? You’re a fucking ice queen.”
My head shot up, and I stared at him, trying my best to fight the tears. My cell buzzed letting me know that Antonio was out front, and I hurried around Austin to get out of the house.
12
When something looks too good to be true, then it probably is. That was my relationship with Austin. There was no talking to him. Each time I tried; his hostility got the best of him. I ended it. I came to collect my clothing and personal effects from his home a week later.
He stalked after me, peppering me with insults. The last thing I did was remove the ring he gave me less than two weeks ago. My heart was shredded, and I knew he was hurting, but too proud to admit it. I had no idea what went wrong and why he shut down.
The night I left Austin’s place after our fight, I considered calling it quits at Spotlight and hunting for a new job. I knew that I wouldn’t have to look long because plenty of companies would’ve snapped me up in a minute. Instead, I agreed to the terms Hassan and the board set forth to whip management into shape at Tailwind Studios. My salary and bonuses would increase, but money wasn’t everything. At this point, it was the only thing I had.
To say my parents were thrilled that I split from Austin was an understatement. They thought I could do better. I didn’t want better, I wanted him, but we were wrong for each other.
Hassan called me the day after my thirty-third birthday in mid-September. The acquisition was moving faster than expected, and by the first week in October, the sale would be complete. He wanted me to start working at Tailwind as soon as the paperwork was filed. Spotlight would be putting me up at The Pierre in Manhattan, a five-star hotel.
It was fine with me; I needed the distraction from my misery. I felt my heart harden again; the ice queen was back. I would need the edge when I started work at Tailwind. My first order of business when I arrived on the fifth of October was to interview all the employees.
Upper management was a train wreck, and the policies Tailwind had in place made no sense. I would need to mirror those of our parent company, Spotlight International, immediately. This sent a ripple through the company, and I became enemy number one with the other executives. It didn’t matter to me because I planned on removing all of them except two. The environment was toxic, and I needed to get rid of the poison.
I was sitting in my office on the Friday I handed out pink slips when the President, Thomas Pelter, barged through my door waving his termination letter.
His thick face was bright red, and I hoped he wouldn’t have a heart attack in my office. “What the fuck is this, you bitch?”
I crossed my arms and a cold calm settled as my true ice queen demeanor kicked in. “It looks like a termination letter. You’re relieved of your position.”
“You can’t do this. We were told all senior management would be retained.”
“Mr. Pelter, you’re a cancer to this organization. I’m well aware of your two-hour liquid lunches and flirting with the younger female staffers. You’re lazy and insubordinate. There’s no place at Tailwind for you.”
“You’re a cunt. They said you had a reputation, but with your looks, I didn’t believe it was true.”
I tightened my arms. “My looks have nothing to do with my capabilities as a CEO. I don’t need to justify my decision to you. You’re fired. Security is on their way up to escort you out of the building.”
He moved toward me as a security team came through my door to escort him out. Thomas and six other senior staffers were let go that afternoon. I had already poached talent from other companies in Manhattan, and four of the seven positions would be refilled by Monday.
I didn’t give a shit about emotions of other people. I was here to do a job. I waited until the office grew quiet and got my coat on. My assistant, Luna, an older woman with bottle blonde hair of about fifty years old, was sitting at her desk outside my office. She looked up at me as I came out the door.
“Miss Stone?”
“I’m leaving for the evening.”
“Will you be in tomorrow?”
“Absolutely. I expect you here at eight sharp.”
She almost grimaced. I told her when I arrived that she would be required to be here when I was.
“Can I ask how long I’ll be staying?”
“It’s a regular workday, so 5:00 PM.”
I finished securing my coat and walked past her to the elevators. I could imagine Luna was cursing me out, but that wasn’t my problem. I didn’t care if people had lives outside of work. I didn’t, and I expected them to be here when I was.
Outside, the weather was shitty and made me long for the warmth of Los Angeles. This week I hadn’t been able to head back to the West Coast. I pulled the collar of my new graphite woolen coat around my neck as a burst of wind hit me. Cabs were plentiful, and I hailed one to take me back to my hotel.
Manhattan was a new environment for me. I had never been here before, and of course, the changing seasons were something that I never experienced. I knew no one here except for Edith Doyle, Austin’s grandmother. I wondered if he told her we were broken up and I wondered what she would say. It didn’t matter, not many things mattered to me other than righting Tailwind and getting back to Los Angeles.
The next morning, I walked into Tailwind at 7:30 AM. A few designers were at their desks working on projects for which I had familiarized myself the past few days. They nodded their heads when they saw me. For the first half hour, I handled emails from Spotlight, directing my team on certain negotiations that were upcoming. I planned to fly back on Wednesday and stay until Friday afternoon. At 7:58, my intercom buzzed, letting me know my assistant was in.
I hit the button. “Luna, please come into my office.”
When the door opened, I saw that Luna was dressed casually in blue jeans and a black sweater, her hair was in a messy bun on the top of her head. I was taken aback that she wouldn’t dress properly for work.
I gestured to the blue chair in front of my desk. “Close the door and sit.”
She did as I asked, and the look on her face told me she was scared. It wasn’t unlike the looks I received at Spotlight. If I’d still been with Austin, my attitude would be different, but I was the ice queen again.
“Your dress is inappropriate.”
She hesitated. “I’m sorry. I thought since it was Saturday.”
“Why would you assume that? I’m dressed appropriately.”
I gestured to the frumpy brown business suit I was wearing.
“When Mr. Pelter had me come in, we dressed casually on the weekends.”
“Mr. Pelter has been relieved of his duties in case you were unaware.”
I knew she was since she had seen security escort him out the day before.
“I understand.”
“I’m not sure you do. There’s a new sheriff in town. I expect excellence the way I do of my employees at Spotlight. This company’s management structure is a disaster. I’m here to enact new policies and procedures. When I’m here, so are you. You will dress appropriately as you do on regular weekdays. Is that clear?”
I stared at her and saw that her dark brown eyes were brimming with tears threatening to fall. I’d upset her, and the sick thing was that I was enjoying her misery. What the fuck was wrong with me? Had my heart grown so dark that I could no longer feel compassion? The answer was apparent.
“Yes, Miss Stone.”
“Now that we have that out of the way let’s get to work.”
We worked until six that evening, and I told Luna was expected in to
morrow since I would be here. She nodded, and I suspected she was afraid to speak. I hadn’t eaten since the night before and caught a cab to a restaurant where I ate dinner several times last week. I had no qualms about eating alone, and I had no desire to go back to my hotel.
The restaurant was busy as I expected, but the manager gave me a booth to myself in the back. I pulled The New York Times from my briefcase and began reading, only glancing at the waiter when he brought me a glass of white wine. I was engrossed in an article when my name was called. I looked up to see Edith Doyle standing in front of my table.
I folded my paper and put it down on the table. “Edith, so nice to see you.”
“I thought that was you. Austin said you were spending some time in New York.”
“I’m surprised he said anything.”
“May I sit down?”
“Uh, sure.”
She moved in next to me and gave me a quick hug which surprised me. My heart opened a sliver, and I hugged her back, actually wanting to feel the comfort of another person.
“What happened between you two?”
“Didn’t Austin tell you?”
“He only said it didn’t work out, and you were moving to New York.”
“I’ll only be here for a few months; then I’ll be back in Los Angeles.”
“He made it seem as if you were moving here permanently.”
“I tried to make it work. I tried to compromise, but he accused me of putting my career before us,” I blurted out.
“He’s hurt. I think he lets that terrible situation with his former fiancée wear on him.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Excuse me?”
Edith clamped her hand over her mouth. “Oh dear, I thought you knew he was previously engaged.”
“He never mentioned anything to me.”
“I shouldn’t have said anything.”
I put my hand on her arm. “But now that you have, I’d like to know.”
“Austin hasn’t had good luck with women. There was that nasty mess with that young woman who claimed she was pregnant. Do you know about that?”
I nodded. “That I do.”
“About six years back, Austin was engaged to a woman he dated for several years. I never liked her. There was something about her that wasn’t right to me. He finally asked her to marry him, and I tried to be happy for him for his sake. He was ill for a time, and she didn’t care, he could barely get out of bed.”
Sweetest Obsessions - Anthology Page 178