“Are you taking your usual trip to the Maldives?”
“I might cancel. I can’t go with Edith like this.”
“She might not survive that long.”
A fresh batch of tears squeezed from my eyes, and I wiped them. I got up so Austin could sit next to Edith. He hugged me hard before I left the room. I ran back to the office for my conference call and to handle a few hours of emails and paperwork. When I left at seven, I was spent. I’d been getting three hours of sleep a night, waking up while it was still dark out.
I went home and ate a piece of toast and drank a cup of green tea. I didn’t feel like eating anything else even though this was the first meal I’d consumed all day. The stress of Edith’s sickness was getting to me. She wasn’t family, but I considered her to be. I know it’s harsh to say, but I wouldn’t feel the same if one of my parents died.
I passed out while I was reading through a contract a director had sent me and bolted awake, sitting upright at 1:42 AM, papers were strewn all over my bed. Four minutes later, Austin called to tell me that Edith had died. I burst into tears, dropping the phone on the bed.
“Sammy,” he yelled and kept up until I picked up my cell
“Austin,” I whimpered.
“Do you want to say goodbye?”
I hiccupped into the phone as tears coursed down my face. “I can’t see her like that.”
“I’m coming over. We need to support each other. I need you.”
“I need you, too.”
Austin arrived at my apartment two hours later. I hadn’t bothered to change from the light blue sweatpants and pink t-shirt I changed into when I arrived home. He looked horrible. His eyes were red and face puffy from crying. I’m sure I looked the same.
“I’m sorry,” I said as he walked through the door.
He pulled me against him and clung to my shirt. We cried together, and when he was finished, my shoulder was wet from his tears.
“I thought I was ready,” he croaked.
“Austin, you’re never ready when a loved one passes. Edith was one for the ages.”
“I can’t believe she’s gone.”
“How’s Roman?”
“He’s on his way to New York. His wife, Cindy, was sick and he went home this afternoon. I think if he knew our grandmother would die, he would’ve stayed.”
“I’m sure, but you don’t know. She could’ve lived another two weeks.”
“She didn’t want to. I know she was suffering. She would cry in her sleep.”
I began to cry again, and so did he. We were a mess.
I stroked his hair. “Are you hungry? Can I offer you anything?”
“Only your support.”
“Is Jessie coming?”
“I called her, but she didn’t answer. She’s been busy with the wedding.”
“Edith told me she didn’t like her.”
“Grandmother didn’t like any of my girlfriends, except you. You were her favorite.”
I pushed away to see his face. Dark circles were under his eyes. “You look tired. Do you want to rest?”
“As tired as I am, I’m not sure I’ll be able to fall asleep.”
“How long has it been since you slept?”
“I’ve had naps here and there. I only went back to my grandmother’s apartment for a shower and to change my clothes.”
“I’m taking time off this week. I can help you with the funeral arrangements if you like.”
“Grandmother would’ve appreciated that. How is work? You look as exhausted as I feel.”
“I am. I was reading through a contract and fell asleep on my bed when you called. I’m not sleeping well either.”
“Is Charge upset that you’ve been out of the office?”
“I don’t really care if they are. I’m getting my work done, that’s all that counts.”
Austin raised his eyebrows. “You don’t care about work?”
“I spent so much time over the past few years with my head buried in paperwork and negotiations, that I had no time to smell the roses. You made me understand that, but I wish I had earlier. Before we broke up.”
“I shouldn’t have let you go. I was stupid. Grandmother told me what a fool I was.”
“You love Jessie, and you’re marrying her. I want to at least be friends. We haven’t been very good ones to each other.”
“I want that, but she doesn’t.”
“Jessie doesn’t want you to be friends with me?”
“I told her we were briefly engaged.”
“And she feels threatened, right?”
“She’s jealous. You’re gorgeous, Sammy. I’m surprised you haven’t found anyone yet.”
“I tried, but I think my path is to be alone. No husband, no children. I have my job, but I’m not sure that’s what I want anymore.”
“Attitudes change. Your path is not to be alone. You’ll find someone. Someone that can treat you better than I did. I squandered what we had.”
“We both did, and we can’t go back. We can only move forward.”
“Are you sure you’re not hungry?”
“I could use a drink.”
“Alcohol is a bad idea right now.”
“Not that kind of drink, water, or soda.”
We went to the kitchen and Austin ended up asking me if I had something to eat. It had been a while since I had grocery shopped, but I made him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
“Just like when I was a kid.”
He took a bite and started to cry again. I went to soothe him, and he once again buried his head in my shoulder. Austin pulled me hard against him and wrapped his arms around my back so tightly that it hurt.
“She’s in a better place. She isn’t hurting and probably smiling down at us.” I said.
Austin sacked out in one of my guest rooms. We were meeting Roman in the morning to make funeral arrangements. Edith wanted to be cremated, and they would sprinkle her ashes in the Atlantic Ocean. She loved visiting Coney Island as a child and wanted to spend eternity there.
I woke up at five and stared at the ceiling for a little while before I got up to shower. Austin came into my room just as I was walking out of the bathroom with a thick white towel wrapped around me. He looked at me with hunger in his eyes, then focused on the floor.
“I’m sorry. I should’ve knocked.”
“Do you need something?” I asked.
“You have no towels in the guest bath. I wiped my hands on my jeans.”
“Linen closet in the hall. Help yourself.”
“Can I ask you a favor?”
I clung to the knot in my towel. “Sure, anything.”
“Can I stay here while I’m in the city? I can’t stay at my grandmother’s place right now. I’ll go back to clean up some stuff later this week. Roman is going to help.”
“You’re welcome to stay here as long as you need, but what about Jessie?”
“She can’t make it. She has some work thing going on.”
“Doesn’t she teach kindergarten?”
“Yes, but a few teachers are out because of the flu.”
“Still, though. I mean, you’re her fiancé. She should be here for you.”
“I already hashed this out with her.”
His tone was glacial, and I nodded, not wanting to inflame him any more than he already was.
“Is there anything else you need? I want to get dressed.”
“No, thank you. Can I make some coffee?”
“Help yourself.”
Austin left the room, and I went into the closet to get dressed. I would be taking the day off so that I could help Roman and Austin make arrangements for the funeral. Edith had given them specific instructions on what she wanted.
I finally met Roman who was a younger, shorter version of Austin except he had beer colored eyes rather than amber. We spent the day picking out flowers, speaking with the reverend at Edith’s church and making arrangements for the cremation. We would have the memori
al service in two days.
Austin and Roman came back to my home to make phone calls to friends and loved ones. I stayed in my office working from home. Diane forwarded me some paperwork that needed my electronic signature. I was in the midst of sending emails when Austin peeked in the door.
“Roman is leaving. I’m going to take a nap.”
“You need it.”
“So do you. You look very tired. What are you doing anyway?”
“Working. I need to keep busy.”
He gave me a weak smile. “I know what you mean.”
I came out to hug Roman goodbye, and Austin went to his room to take a much-needed nap. I went back to my office to finish up a few things when I heard him yelling. I jumped up and ran to his room, throwing open the door. He was thrashing about his bed like he was being attacked.
“Austin,” I yelled.
His eyes popped open, and he looked scared. “What happened?”
“You were screaming. I heard you down the hall.”
He sat up and rubbed his eyes. “I don’t remember it.”
“Are you okay?”
“I think so. I want to try to go to sleep again.”
“Sure. I’ll be in my office if you need me.”
He laid back down on his pillow, and I shut the door. I wondered what his nightmare was about.
The next day I had to go back to work. I had two meetings and lunch with Charles Amick. I breezed through the morning and Charles met me at my office to take me to lunch. When we were seated at a steakhouse in midtown, he focused on me.
“You look very tired.”
“It’s been a very trying few weeks.”
“I’m sorry to hear about your friend.”
I forced back tears. “She was a wonderful person.”
“I wanted to say that you’ve done a wonderful job getting our management structure back together. We have a problem, though.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Problem with what?”
“Dirk Benson. He’s filed a lawsuit for wrongful termination. He also said you assaulted him.”
“He was getting ready to attack me. I defended myself.”
“I understand that, but you still hit him.”
“I kneed him in the balls. Diane came in just as he went down. The man is almost a foot taller than me.”
“He claims he didn’t provoke you in any way.”
“That’s ridiculous and false.”
“What did you tell him when he came into your office?”
“I had to terminate him due to his behavior of sexual harassment.”
“Do you have proof of his behavior?”
“Not written. I observed him, and my assistant told me he’d approached her several times before. He was a liability for the company. I find it hard to believe that no one filed complaints.”
“I need you to speak with our in-house counsel. We’ll have to hire an outside firm.”
“Is there something I need to do?”
“You need to document everything that occurred in your office when you dealt with Dirk, including what you observed. I doubt he’ll win, but we need to make sure we have everything outlined.”
“I’m sorry about this. Why didn’t he contact Charge sooner?”
“Apparently he was looking for others you terminated. Are you familiar with a man named Thomas Pelter?”
I pursed my lips. “Unfortunately, I am. I fired him when I worked at Tailwind Studios.”
“Dirk is trying to establish a pattern of wrongfully terminating male employees by you. He’s stated off the record that you hate men.”
I clenched my fist. “That’s preposterous.”
“It might be, but it’s part of his attorney’s case.”
“What do you need me to do?”
“I need you to lay low, and if you have any issues with an employee, make sure that you have someone with you.”
“So you’re tying my hands?”
Charles shook his head. “No. That’s not what I’m saying. You do your job, but if the need arises to reprimand an employee, you should have witnesses.”
“This is a real headache, and I don’t need this right now.”
“You’re taking a vacation next month, correct?”
“Yes, the Maldives. I could certainly use it.”
“Hopefully we’ll have some of this sorted out by the time you return. If what you say is true, then Dirk’s lawsuit is baseless. His contract clearly states that if he engages in any type of harassment, he can be terminated.”
“How much is he suing us for?”
“Twenty-five million. He claims we ruined his reputation in the industry making him virtually unhireable. He’s still unemployed.”
“He did that all by himself and attacking me wasn’t very smart.”
I gulped my wine as the waiter brought our meal. I no longer felt like eating, not that I did before. I just wanted this week to be over.
17
When I got home a few hours later, I was totally drained. Austin was lying on the couch when I walked through the door. I studied his features. He seemed to have aged almost overnight. Fine lines etched around his mouth and eyes. I had the strong urge to run my fingers through his thick hair, but I held back.
I slipped off my shoes so he wouldn’t be awakened by the clacking of my shoes on the wood. He needed to sleep because, like me, he hadn’t been getting much. As I carried my heels down the hall, he called out to me.
“Just getting home?”
I turned to him. “Yeah, what a fucked-up day.”
He sat up on his elbows. “What happened?”
I walked to the couch. “The chairman of the board told me that we have a lawsuit stemming from my cleaning house at Charge.”
Austin stroked his chin. “What did you do?”
“This asshole, Dirk Benson, attacked me and I kneed him in the balls. He claims I attacked him without provocation and violated his contract by terminating him. It’s a whole mess and came at the worst time.”
“Fucker. Did he hurt you?”
“No. Jay taught me well.”
“I wish I was there.”
“You can’t always protect me, not from three thousand miles away.”
“I know. I’m just glad I was there when that shit with Wentworth took place.”
“That son of a bitch got what he deserved,” I growled.
“Agreed.”
“Did you do anything today?” I asked.
“No. I needed a break. Tomorrow will be hard.”
“I know. I’ve been trying to keep my mind off Edith. I miss her.”
“Me too. Roman wants to clean out her apartment. We want to do it before the end of the month so we can put the place up for sale.”
“This isn’t a good time to sell.”
“I know, but it will sit vacant. Might as well get it on the market.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“Lots of memories in that place. We bought it for her and my grandfather after we got our inheritances. My grandmother always wanted to move back to the city. She grew up here. Roman and I chipped in and paid the monthly maintenance. I’m glad she was happy there for a while.”
“I never asked her about your grandfather. It’s only been a few months.”
“She missed him, but he wasn’t doing well. They were considering getting an aide in the house to help him do the basic things like bathing. He had a stroke before the one that killed him. I wasn’t as close to him as I was my grandmother. He worked a lot.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell me these things?”
“I don’t know. I’m sorry for not speaking of my past. I just wanted a future with you.”
“But I told you things. That’s what couples do. They tell each other things from their pasts. Do you hide things from Jessie?”
He started to chew his lip. “Not really. She knew me in college. I told her things back then.”
“But you couldn’t tell me? That makes
me feel shitty.”
I was angry, and I walked to my room with Austin calling after me. His admission made me feel like I wasn’t worthy of knowing his past. He hid things from me. If I had known, I would’ve handled situations differently, and maybe we would still be together.
I closed my door and went to change into something more comfortable. When I came out of the closet in a pair of black yoga pants and a long-sleeved yellow t-shirt, Austin knocked on my bedroom door.
“Come in.”
“You look like a bumble bee?”
“You better watch out, or I’ll sting.”
“I’ve felt your sting before.” he grinned.
“What can I do for you?”
“Let’s order pizza tonight. I’m starved and craving New York pizza.”
“You’re hungry?”
“I didn’t eat much today. My grandmother wouldn’t want us to be sad about her death.”
“I know, but you can’t help but be. You can order pizza, but I’m not sure how much I’ll eat.”
Austin took a massive bite. “Oh, my God! This pizza is so much better than the stuff you get in Los Angeles. I might have to move back here for this.”
I crooked an eyebrow at him. “You’re getting married. How would Jessie feel about moving to New York?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. We never discussed it.”
“You didn’t want to move here when I might. Now you do?”
“I could have. Gavin told me they still haven’t filled that position in the English department at NYU.”
“Are you thinking of moving here?”
“Well, my best friend lives here so that I might consider it.”
My cell began ringing, and I grabbed it from the counter to answer, turning my back on Austin. It was Marc, and he asked if I needed anything. I told him, no, but I appreciated him calling and would see him on the weekend. After I disconnected the call, I turned back to face Austin.
“Who was that?”
“Marc.”
Austin narrowed his eyes. “The guy you were at the hospital with?”
“Yes, he’s a friend I told you.”
“What kind of friend?”
“What kind of friends are there?”
“The kind that get into your panties. Is he that kind of friend?”
Sweetest Obsessions - Anthology Page 184