And besides, she really wasn't sure that she was brave enough to let someone else into her heart.
Which was pretty depressing when you thought about it.
“Something wrong?” Lincoln asked.
Embarrassed to say she had just been daydreaming about a cop she’d only met a couple of days ago, Rose could feel her cheeks heat. “I was just, ah, thinking about, ah, Evie.”
Lincoln arched a brow like he didn't quite believe her, but he didn't push the issue. “So, you want to go with something big then?”
“Yes, I think it’s what Evie would have wanted—bigger than life, just like her.” She gave a sad smile. Her friend’s death hadn't sunk in yet. She still expected Evie to come bursting through the apartment door, full of some story about her newest sexual conquest, and how she had fallen in love again.
“Where should we have the service?” Lincoln asked.
“The chapel on Ninth Street,” Rose replied immediately. “Evie dated the minister there,” she added when Lincoln looked confused.
“Evelyn dated a minister? How did I miss that?”
“It was pretty hush hush.” She giggled at the memory of her friend with a minister. “She didn't want him to find out what she was really like. She decided that maybe she could find a husband that would last if she tried something different. She and Reverend Wright stayed friends after they broke up. I know he’ll be happy to do the service.”
“What about flowers?” Lincoln tapped his pen on the paper in front of him, apparently moving on to the next thing on his list.
“Some of everything. Evie could never decide on a favorite flower. It changed with her mood. We should get everything in every color that the florist has.”
“Before we decide on a caterer and start letting people know, we better choose a date,” Lincoln said.
“I guess it depends on when they release the body.” Rose hated referring to her friend as just a body. To her, Evie was still a vibrant, bubbly, loving, caring friend, not just a lifeless corpse.
“When do you think that will be?”
She had no idea. She’d never gone through anything like this before. Nor had she ever expected to. People in your life weren't supposed to get murdered. That happened to other people, to strangers. She didn't know what to expect over the next couple of days and weeks and months. Would there be more interviews with the cops? And what about when the killer was found? Would it be someone she knew? Would she go to court if there was a trial?
Rose felt so out of her element.
She hated feeling like this.
She needed to feel like her feet were on solid ground, and right now, they were anything but.
She needed something to cling to.
“I could talk to Detective Dixson,” she said slowly. “He might know when we can get Evie’s body.”
“Do you have his number?”
Carter had given her his number in case she thought of anything that might be relevant to his case, then she could call him. But she didn't want to talk on the phone. “I do, but I might just go down to the station and ask him in person.”
“Why not just call?” Lincoln frowned.
Rose shrugged. “I don’t know. I just kind of want to go down there. Maybe I can get some information on the case while I'm there.”
She actually felt a little excited.
Somehow the cute detective had slid under her defenses.
She was almost as anxious to see him as she was anxious to get information about what had happened to Evie.
“Do you want to leave soon to interview Lincoln Tallont? Maybe he can shed a new light so we have a lead to follow. Right now, we don’t have much.”
Jade nodded, agreeing with his assessment. “Well, considering we think she was tied up and held for a while before she was killed, we could be looking at a random person. She probably didn’t know her killer.”
Carter sighed, as he brushed his hair back. “Which makes our job harder. I’d rather she knew the person that killed her.”
“Well, we don’t always get what we want.” Jade laughed. Her eyes grazed to the right at something over his shoulder. “Something you want just walked in.”
Cocking a brow in confusion, he turned slightly. His heart started to pound lightly as Rose’s sweet gaze met his. A tentative smile touched her lips.
Could this woman get any more beautiful? He honestly didn’t think so. Her shy, tender smiles were the most adorable thing he had ever seen.
“I’ll let you two have a moment.”
Carter ignored Jade’s laughing comment, his eyes trained solely on Rose as she approached him with small steps.
Was she nervous?
Did she remember something that would help him find this killer?
He hated he couldn’t exactly decipher her mannerisms. Reading people was a specialty, something he needed in this line of work.
“Hello, Detective Dixson. I hope I’m not bothering you.”
“Definitely not.” He stood up and offered her a chair next to his desk. He waited until she sat down, then took a seat as well. “And, please, I want you to call me Carter.”
She lightly bit her lip. A sweet, bashful smile lit her face up so beautifully. “I forgot.”
“How are you today?”
He wanted to slap himself in the forehead. That’s the best he could come up with? How are you today? He felt like a little schoolboy trying to impress his crush, and failing miserably. Wiping a lock of hair back from his forehead, he grinned, hoping to erase the nerves he saw coating her features.
She had her hands in her lap, wrapped tightly together, her knee bouncing slightly. Subtle movements that most might not notice, but for him, he looked for it all the time, especially when interrogating a suspect.
Not that he was interrogating or planned to interrogate Rose. But anything to help him get past her defenses was his plan.
He wanted to get to know her better. He wanted to be more than just a detective.
And he couldn’t do that if she was nervous around him. He didn’t know how to get past her nerves.
“It’s been … a little rough.”
He leaned forward, almost reaching a hand out toward her, to touch her in any little way. On her knee, to stop it from bouncing. On her arm, to soothe her with a touch. On her cheek, just to feel her soft skin. He had no doubt it was soft.
“What’s wrong?”
Her eyes turned to her lap. “We’re planning Evie’s funeral and … we need … that is …”
He couldn’t resist. Not when the words couldn’t even leave her mouth.
He reached out and touched her arm, figuring that would be less awkward than touching her knee. “It’s okay, Rose. Take your time. Who’s we?”
Did he want to know? He could already make a guess, something he didn’t want to think about.
“My friend Lincoln. I don’t think I could do any of this without him.”
That was not something he wanted to hear. For some strange reason, he wanted Rose to want his help. He wanted her to think about him like that, not this Lincoln guy.
A guy she mentioned almost every time they talked. He didn’t want to hear about him.
Now, more than ever, he wanted to meet this guy, just to see why he was so special.
He wanted to feel special to her.
His feelings for Rose were so foreign and strange. It was time he gave up wondering why he felt like this and just rolled with it. He liked her. Time to do something about it.
Rubbing his thumb tentatively on her arm, he could feel the slight shiver that coated her body, as a tint of red flushed her cheeks. She didn’t move away from his touch, so he felt no need to pull away or stop the subtle caressing of his thumb.
“I’m here for anything you need as well. Don’t forget that.”
“Thank you.” She swallowed hard, her eyes darting away. “That’s why I’m here. We need to know when her … when Evie will be released.”
That m
ade sense. He should’ve picked up on her reasoning for being here right away when she mentioned planning the funeral.
“I’m not sure. I have to talk to Crock and get back to you.”
Her gaze met his as a tiny smile reappeared. “Crock?”
He chuckled. “The medical examiner. It’s his nickname.”
“I’d appreciate that. I hope it’s soon. I don’t like to think of her here …” She paused. “I want to say a proper goodbye.”
“I’ll talk to him as soon as I can and … how about dinner tonight?”
The question popped out before he could stop himself. Now that he said it, he prayed she said yes. The light hold he had on her arm almost intensified to a tight grip. His heart started to pound like a drummer going wild as he waited impatiently for her answer.
Her eyes had widened in surprise, her cheeks turned a deeper shade of red. Yet, she said nothing.
He didn’t have the strength to pull his hand away. He sensed that if he did, an abrupt no would leave her mouth. So he leaned closer.
“That was kind of forward of me. I apologize.” A crooked smile touched his lips. “I like you, Rose. I’d like to take you out to dinner.”
A slow breath left her mouth. “I think … I’d like that.”
His smile widened. His face almost hurt, he smiled so wide. “Great. How about we meet at seven at the Italian restaurant down the street?”
“Okay.”
“I should know more about your friend Evelyn by then.”
Her eyes dimmed with sadness. “Do you know who did it yet?”
“I wish I did.”
“I should go.”
Baby steps. He had to take baby steps with her. Perhaps he was coming on too strong.
Nodding, he slowly removed his hand from her arm. “Have a good day. I can’t wait to see you later.”
A small smile appeared before disappearing just as quickly. “Me, too. Bye.” She waved somewhat awkwardly and then walked away before he could say anything else.
The nerves were still there. He had no idea how to make them disappear. But he would keep trying until she felt comfortable enough with him.
“You are falling hard for this woman.”
Jerking his attention away from Rose’s retreating figure, he looked at Jade, who had returned too quickly, as if she had been spying on them.
“There’s something about her. I can’t help it. I like her.”
“She’s involved in our murder investigation. Be careful.”
He tried to ignore the concern in his partner’s eyes. “She’s not a witness. She’s just a friend of the murder victim.”
“That we know of. We don’t know anything at this point.”
His lips turned into a frown as his eyebrows pleated together. “Rose had nothing to do with her murder.”
“I’m not saying she did. I’m saying we don’t know anything right now. So, be careful.”
“I always am.”
Jade chuckled as she situated some papers on her desk. “A date tonight, uh?”
So she was spying on him. He couldn’t hold back his laughter. He knew his partner was only looking out for him. Just as he would for her.
“I told you, I like her.”
Her eyes glittered with laughter, yet her lips displayed the worry. “I think she likes you, too, but—”
“Yeah, I heard you the first two times. Be careful.”
Jade stood up. “Come on. Let’s go solve this case. Didn’t you want to interview her friend Lincoln?”
He did. But not as a detective, as a potential boyfriend. Just how close was she to this Lincoln guy?
As he followed his partner out of the precinct, he wasn’t sure he wanted to find out the answer.
A date.
She had just agreed to go on a date with Detective Carter Dixson.
Had she just made the biggest mistake of her life?
Or was saying yes the best thing she had ever done?
Rose felt like her head was spinning. She was feeling so many things right now—too many things. She was anxious and nervous and a little bit scared, but she was also excited and … happy.
Happy.
She couldn’t remember the last time she had been happy. Truly happy. She had days where she had fun with Evie, and she loved watching mama ducks with their little ducklings when she went to the park. She loved sappy movies, and anything to do with polar bears made her smile.
But she had never been really happy.
Maybe when she’d been a very little girl, before her parents’ deaths, but she didn't really remember too much about those days. Bits and pieces, flashes here and there of riding on her dad’s shoulders, and reading stories with her mom before bed, walking down the beach holding her parents’ hands and them lifting her and swinging her back and forth. That plane crash hadn't just cost her her family and her childhood, but it had stolen her future as well.
At least, it had until today.
This was the first time she had ever even considered the possibility of having a real life that included other people.
That might seem odd to most people. She was twenty-nine years old. She was reasonably attractive, smart, and had a good job. She owned an apartment; she had hobbies and a few friends. Why wouldn’t she think about getting married one day and having kids of her own?
To her, that thought was terrifying.
For so many reasons.
She was terrified to love someone else because when you loved someone you could lose them. And she had already lost a lot of people she loved.
Growing up in foster care had put a big dent in her self-esteem and made her feel like she wasn't worthy of being loved.
While her life before the plane crash had been pretty typical, her life after had been anything but. With no family who could take her in and care for her, she had entered the system. For a six-year-old, that was a pretty terrifying thing. She was grieving. She wanted someone to love her and make her feel safe, but she kept getting shuffled from place to place. Each time she went to another house, she thought she was going to stay there, that it was her new home, and that the people were going to be her new family.
But that never happened.
Just when she started to feel settled, she would be plucked up and moved again.
In those first two years she lived in a total of ten different houses.
Even by then, at eight years old, she had become quiet and withdrawn. Since she couldn’t count on the people around her, she learned to trust herself and herself alone. Whenever she started at a new school, she no longer sought out friends; instead, she preferred to focus on schoolwork, and when she wasn't doing that, she entertained herself by drawing or making up stories in her head.
Then she met Evie.
Evie had been the first person she’d come to love after losing her parents.
It was the day after her ninth birthday when an old woman who smelled bad had come and picked her up and told her she was moving again. Rose hadn't been surprised. She’d just gone and packed up her few belongings and gotten into the car. They had driven to a nice, three-story colonial.
Several girls a few years older than her had been playing in the yard. One of them was Evie, and she had come right over to say hi as soon as Rose had climbed out of the car. Her foster parents had seemed nice and they had shown her to a bedroom that she would only have to share with one other girl. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had half a room to herself—usually there were at least four or five girls crammed into one small room.
The first few days had been fine, nice even. Evie made a point of including her in everything, and the food was nice. They had a library full of books, and there were even some paints she was allowed to use.
Then one night changed everything.
It changed her.
It changed the way she viewed the world.
It changed the way she saw other people.
Rose had thought that those changes were
irrevocable. That she would never be able to overcome the damage that had been done, but maybe she was wrong.
Carter made her want to see the good in people again.
He gave her hope that not all of humanity was bad, that some people were kind and good and actually cared about their fellow man.
It didn't surprise her that Evie had led her to him. Even in death, her surrogate sister was looking out for her.
She couldn’t help but smile at that.
Everything about Carter seemed to make her smile.
The way he brushed his hair out of his eyes all the time, those dreamy golden eyes, his—
“Oof,” she grunted as she walked headlong into something.
No, not something, someone.
“Whoa,” the other person said, grabbing hold of her arms as she bounced off.
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” she said as she steadied herself, her cheeks turning bright red. She’d been so busy daydreaming about how Carter could be the one to change her life that she hadn't been paying any attention to where she was going.
“Don’t worry about it.” The older gentleman smiled at her. “Just make sure you’re paying attention when it’s time to cross the street.”
“I will. Again, I'm so, so sorry.” She may have babbled a little; she tended to do that when she was nervous or embarrassed.
“Have a nice day,” the man said as he released his grip on her and headed back down the street.
“You, too,” she said as she headed off in the opposite direction. Although what she was thinking to herself was that she really would be having a nice day. She had to grab a quick lunch, then go into work, and then tonight she had her date with Carter to look forward to.
A date.
She had a date tonight.
Rose couldn’t wipe the smile off her face as she walked off down the street.
5
Carter turned around as the bartender walked away and scanned the bar. Jade decided to do the same, just with a different look on her face.
She was smiling—a sweet, gentle one that several men tried to smile back to catch her complete attention.
Sweetest Obsessions - Anthology Page 192