“Not in the slightest, but you know what will happen, if I stay. I’ll never be able to walk away.”
“That’s kind of the idea, Iz,” he smiles, before kissing me again. “Stay with me,” he mutters against my lips, breaking away to look down at me with hopeful eyes.
“I can’t.”
Alex opens the door behind me, and I slip away outside, battling with myself to reconsider. All I have to do is walk back through that door to claim him. To take what I have wanted more than anything in my life. Yet here I stand, about to walk away, flushing hot then colder than the massive, fast thuds of my heart, roaring in my ears. The decision is killing me from the inside out. The wrong decision. My gaze shifts back over my shoulder to the door with Alex’s silhouette, illuminated by the kitchen lights, through the shade. He wants this just as badly, as I do.
What the hell are you thinking, Lizzy? Go back in there, and take a chance. You’ll regret it, if you don’t.
Shaking my head, I fight myself to keep on this path and just go home, forgetting about the swirling mess of feelings and arousal, spinning like a top, inside of me behind the safety net that I have built for myself, when faced with a hard decision. But I can’t keep running away. My future means more to me than a list of regrets. I don’t even make it down two steps, before I turn back, banging on the door with my fist. He opens it, grabs me by the hand, and jerks me back inside.
“Took you long enough,” he smiles, before I rush into his arms. His hands are intertwining in my hair, as he devours my mouth with his, knowing that I will never get enough of his mouth on mine. My back hits hard, when he aggressively walks me back against the doorframe. I cry out with a yelp, but his mouth covers the sound. “You’re staying, right?” He murmurs against my mouth, before releasing me from his claiming kiss.
“I don’t know how to do this, but I want it. I want you, I want us, and I want everything and nothing all at the same time.”
Alex’s grasp leaves me, only for a second, before I feel his hands descending to my ass, hoisting my body in the air and pressing me as tightly as he can against his hard body. “Are you sure about this?” He pants, as our chests heave in excitement. I wrap my legs around his waist, pulling him tighter against me, and I feel his erection, straining between us.
“Yes,” a breathy reply squeaks from my lips with a twinge of fear behind it. No man has ever held me like this. Not one. I’m afraid that tonight will be a disappointment to him because of it.
“Wait.” He stops, when he reads the air of hesitation around me. “Are you a …?”
“You can say it, Alex. Virgin.” He smiles oddly with almost a look of pride and elation. I cock my head, unsure of what to take his facial expression as.
“I didn’t want to assume, but you have no fucking idea how it makes me feel to know that I’m the first one to touch you, to hold you, and to claim you. Best damn feeling in the world, knowing that I will be your first and last.”
“Woah,” I interject quickly. “First, yes. Last, that’s yet to be determined.”
“We’ll see how you feel about that last part after.” He grins back with an evil smile. Like he knows something that I don’t about the morning after cashing in your v-card. If that was the case, I highly doubt we’d be where we are right now.
“We can still do this, and then walk away after, Alex,” I whisper, but he ignores it. “Not if we’re only going to keep on hurting each other.”
“I will never hurt you again,” he growls. “Not now, and not ever. This means more to me than just a one night only affair. You and me,” he pauses. “It’s not negotiable.”
He shifts us from the door, carrying my weight, as we go through the living room and back to the couch, depositing me there. I yank off my soft cotton shirt and go for his without any resistance. Removing it though, is bit more complicated than it seems with his much taller stature. But I’m determined, because having anything between us, feels like a brick wall that needs to be demolished immediately. He gazes down at me with wide, alert eyes. “You look good enough to eat,” he declares with a wolfish grin. With ease, Alex reaches behind me, grasping the clasp of my bra. It falls away from my chest, but before the sensation of true nakedness sets in, his mouth drops to the top of my breasts, licking and sucking, while I fumble, trying to free his belt. He stills, and I peer up at him to find that his eyes have gone from his beautiful blues to a primal darker shade with a molten hot lock on me.
“We’re not rushing this, Iz.” His voice is thick and demanding.
I’m desperate to feel and touch him. My shaking fingers stretch out to dance along his skin. To know if all the dreams and thoughts that I have had about this moment were real or better. Grabbing for his still undone belt, I use it as leverage to pull him down to me, but he tries to resist.
“Slow down. It’s not a race,” he urges. Lightning and thunder boom and flash outside, as the rain starts pounding against the windows in the same meticulous rhythm of my heart inside of my chest. The pings of small hail, bouncing off the tin rough, only briefly taking my attention away from him. A storm is raging outside and inside.
I reach for his belt this time, allowing me to touch him, and feel the large bulge at his fly. His gaze never wavering from mine, even when I tug his belt through the buckle. The roughness of his hands come to mine, helping me remove his jeans together. I peer up at him, when his erection springs to attention, where his underwear should be. He just shrugs. Apparently, Alex isn’t an underwear kind of guy. Not that I’m complaining. Just one less layer to peel off, and one last barrier to overanalyze, before giving into to what my heart and mind are screaming for in unison.
My eyes can’t help, but to study his erection with thick veins, cascading around his length and width. I may not have a lot of experience in this department, but I know that his dick is not small by any means. Not that I haven’t seen one before, but because my brain can’t wrap around how something that big is going to fit inside of me.
“It’ll fit,” he smiles down. “Trust me.”
“I’m not so sure about that,” I skeptically look at his dick, before trailing my gaze up to his face.
“Let me show you how I know it will.”
Alex’s long fingers trace the edge of my jeans. He finds the zipper, undoing it, and with a gentle tug, pulls them free from my hips and free from my feet, leaving me in only my underwear. “Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?” He declares, sliding knees first to the end of the couch in-between my legs.
“No one that matters.”
“Well, let me be the first. You, Elizabeth Ann Moulton, are the most beautiful woman that has ever walked this earth.” He adds a dramatic flourish to the end of his ridiculous statement. I’m not even in the top twenty percent, but the way his voice sounds, could convince anyone of the lie. A beautiful lie that I desperately want to believe he has never said to anyone else in this position, but I don’t know that. Alex has so much more experience than I do. Maybe, this is just one of his lines to get a woman’s legs to fall apart for him. But despite all that, I don’t care, because the magnetic pull between us, tells me that maybe, just maybe, he really is telling the truth.
His touch trails up and down my naked legs, forcing them apart, while I quietly watch him, berating myself that I didn’t think to prepare for this. Thankfully, I did shave my legs just a few days before. He trails kisses up my inner thighs, before finding the spot he is looking for. With a quick hook of his fingers, he pulls my panties off of me. I feel exposed with him so close to my core. A place where no one, but God, my doctor, and I have looked upon before.
His face inches forward towards me, but I stop him with my hands on both of his cheeks.
“What are you doing?”
“Relax, Iz. Lean back, and let me make you feel good.”
The sensation of his warm breath against the most sensitive part of my body sends shivers down my spine, but it’s soon replaced with something much stronger, when h
is mouth descends on me. Each lick sends tingling shockwaves, ricocheting up and down my body. He circles and nips, as he continues. My body responding each time with a massive wave of arousal, until there’s nothing left inside of me. I’ve masturbated before, but nothing I have done to myself can compare to this. I can barely control a moan, slipping from my lips, as he slides a long finger inside of me. It’s uncomfortable at first, but with gentle motion, it feels good. My back arches, when he hits a spot that sends me spiraling over the edge. I writhe under this tongue, pressing my thighs against him, as my orgasm takes hold of my motor skills. Alex pushes my thighs away from his head with my wetness still shimmering on his face, like a badge of honor. His tongue glides across his lips, tasting me, and I bite my lip with surprising arousal.
“Do you have a condom?” I ask nervously.
“I do.” He says, reaching over to the floor and withdrawing a gold foil wrapper from his jeans pocket.
“Prepared, are we?” I flirtatiously ask. “I should be offended.”
“I’m always prepared, when it comes to you.” He gives me a playful smile, as I reach up and snatch the condom away from him. I rip it open gently, fingering the slick latex, and then sliding it over his length. Alex’s eyes roll back under my touch, as I stroke him, but he stops me, even with the dazzling smile on his still wet lips.
“This isn’t about me,” he warns. “We have plenty of time for that.”
“But I want to make you feel good, too.” I frown back. Why won’t he let me explore his body? It’s not fair that he can make me feel like this, but he won’t let me try to do the same for him. He’s so aggravating.
“Iz, nothing about this doesn’t feel good to me. Let me do this my way, please.” His smooth and calm voice is reassuring.
He leans forward, placing a soft kiss to my lips, before aligning his wrapped erection, as he slowly shoves inside. My legs, falling over his hips, as he slowly grinds his pelvis into mine. “Ow!” I wince, and he stills above me. “That hurts more than I thought it would.” The stories we heard in health class weren’t wrong, when they said the first time hurt for a woman. I just didn’t expect it to hurt like this, but he feels massive inside of me. The stinging and jolts of pain, rocketing through my entire body, while a few tears slip from my eyes. Does it always feel like this? It has to get better, right? Alex looks down at me with concern in his eyes.
“Take a deep breath, Iz, and when you’re ready, I’ll move a little more.” I focus on my breathing and give him a nod. He pushes himself farther inside of me, until after a few minutes, he’s seated fully. The stinging sensation dissipates, after a few minutes. “I’m going to pull out, so tell me, if it’s too much.” He moves, and when he thrusts this time, the pain is less.
“I’m okay,” I reassure him, despite the slight discomfort in my voice. “Keep going.”
He keeps a steady, but at a gentle pace. No one told me it would feel like this. Painful and beautiful all at the same time. Too often, losing your virginity is seen as a means to an end, but sharing this with Alex, truly makes it special. The care he’s taking, when he thrusts again, checking each time to make sure I’m okay, is making my fall even harder than I already have. I can’t imagine that losing my virginity with anyone else, but Alex would feel like this.
“I’m going to go a little faster.” I nod in agreement, as he pulls out. This time, pushing slightly harder, when he re-inserts himself inside of me. He pauses, looking at me for signs of distress, but honestly, I’m okay. He does it again, and this time, a moan slips from my lips. Again and again, he repeats his actions. Each movement is feeling better than the last. When he pushes against me, I rise to meet him, giving him and I both more of what we both want. He’s taking my body, but I’m taking bits of his soul. Finally, I give him full control of it all. No longer holding back because the pain doesn’t matter. This moment between us does. Alex reaches down between us with one of his hands, touching me, as he thrusts slightly harder, until I explode again under his touch.
“That’s right, Iz. Ride out your orgasm on my cock. Use me.” My body bucks harder than when his mouth was on my core with every single nerve ending in my body, firing simultaneously. “Yes,” he hisses. “Don’t stop doing that. You feel so fucking good,” I do as he asks, until he stills above me and calls out my name, when his orgasm hits hard. Pumping a few more times, he removes his cock and sits on the back of his heels still between my legs.
“You still okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“I’ll be back,” he whispers with a kiss to my temple. Alex slides from the couch. His beautiful ass on full display, as the pads to the bathroom behind us. It’s only a few minutes, before he returns san used condom and slides in behind me.
“I’m sorry that I couldn’t give you rose petals and candles for your first time,” he declares, stroking my thigh.
“Is that what you think I wanted?” Shifting on my elbow to peer back at him. “This was perfect.” He adjusts his hand from my thigh, pressing me against his naked warmth. We lie there, until his soft snores tickle against my head. It doesn’t take long for me to follow him in the best, blissful slumber I have had in years, safely tucked in his arms.
12
“Good morning, beautiful,” he smiles down at me with a cup of coffee, wafting its sweet aroma in front of me. I take the cup with two hands, sipping the hot, delicious liquid. “How do you feel?” Alex puts his cup down on the coffee table in front of us, before sitting down next to me.
I shift gently, noting the soreness. “Sore, but wonderful,” I smile up at him.
“It’ll get easier the next time, I promise.”
“Next time, huh?’ I tease him, peering over the cup, as I take another drink.
“You’re mine now, Iz. Figured you knew that already.”
“I never said yes,” I remind him, and he frowns back at me. All this time, and pushing Alex’s buttons, is still too easy. “Relax, McCloud. We both know what last night was.”
“Mind-blowingly?” He asks, leaning over to kiss my exposed neck. “How about awe-inspiring?”
“Someone really needs to take your dictionary away from you. It was perfect, but I already told you that.”
A buzzing noise comes from my discarded jeans at the foot of the couch. Handing Alex my mug, I lean forward, nearly falling off the sofa, to retrieve them. My phone continues to buzz in my back pocket and doesn’t stop, until I flip it over. An alert with a reminder of my appointment with our lender flashes up at me along with seven missed calls from my parents.
“Shit!” I exclaim, when I see that my appointment is only twenty minutes away. “I completely forget about my meeting.” I fly from the couch, grabbing my clothes and haphazardly re-dressing myself quickly. Alex just watches the panic show I’m giving him. He rises from the sofa, when I begin my frantic search for Big Red’s keys. “Keys, keys, keys,” I mutter under my breath, checking all the pockets, when he returns with them dangling on his finger. “Thanks.” I snatch them away and run for the door, before he clears his throat, stopping me.
“Running away without so much as a kiss, Iz?” He smiles back. I pivot, giving him a quick kiss, and bolt with a promise to text him later, once I’m back from my meeting. I fire up Big Red, flying from Alex’s house to mine. I barely get it in park, when Mom comes out onto the porch with the packet I left on the table with my research, before I left for the auction. I jump from the truck and meet her there.
“Late night?” She questions with a curiousness grin. “Nice hair.”
“Can’t talk. Gonna be late,” I yell back over my shoulder, climbing back into Big Red. I shut the door, but Mom knocks on the window. “Your dad wants to talk to you.” I do not have time to hear the lecture about responsible dating. That discussion will have to come later, if he wants me to try and save the farm. “Sorry, Mom. Got to run! Love you.” I peel out of the driveway, trailer still attached to the truck, and head into town to see our farm lender. I mental
ly prepare a list in my head, as I drive. There has to be someone out there that will be willing to partner with us. Organics are a blossoming market. The only problem is finding someone willing to take a chance on a small operation, like our farm.
I find a spot near the front of the bank, big enough for both the truck and livestock trailer, and pull in. The old brick building of the bank sits in the center of town. I walk into the lobby and only find two other people in the teller’s line. Quickly walking towards the back of the lobby, I find Mr. Clayton’s secretary, Anita, typing away at her desk.
“I have an appointment with Mr. Clayton at nine,” I declare.
“I’m afraid he’s unexpectedly out of the office today. Can I take a message?” She asks without even looking up.
“Are you kidding me? I made this appointment several days ago.” My voice clear with annoyance. “When do you expect him back?”
She reaches for a stack of papers on her desk, thumbing through them. “Should be back in the office by Friday. Would you like me to reschedule your appointment?” She asks, finally looking up at me.
“What other choice do I have?” My tone is just a little bit annoyed at the fact that neither she nor Mr. Clayton had reached out to us that he wasn’t going to be available after all. She rattles off a few open time slots, and I pick one that will work in-between milkings. Even with a few days delay, I will have a little time to do my research and maybe reach out to some contacts in our industries to see if they have any leads for us. Our neighbors, The Troy’s, have been in a similar spot as us, and they managed to save their farm with an exclusive contract with the brewery for their corn. There is bound to be something like that out there for us. Right?
I head back out and spy a familiar truck parked down the street near the diner. He didn’t tell me anything about heading to town today. With a shrug of my shoulders, I walk the few blocks to the restaurant to investigate. Peering through the window, I spy Alex sitting in one of the back-corner booths, but one of the waitresses is blocking the view of his companion. If Alex isn’t trying to publicize his whereabouts to the paparazzi, he sure as hell shouldn’t be sitting in the local hot spot of gossip. He also didn’t really care for the food at the Squealing Hog diner, so why is he here? A thought occurs to me. Could he be picking up breakfast for us? A pang of happiness at his thoughtfulness swells inside of me, until the waitress moves, and when she does, my stomach drops.
Sweetest Obsessions - Anthology Page 268