Merrilee sniffed again and reached out to pat down his cowlick. "They really should comb your hair once in a while."
Danny looked at Jacob and rolled his eyes. "Like anyone cares what I look like."
"Everyone sends you their love, Danny. We miss you. And I'll tell you a secret. If you get well before Christmas, I'll send you to spring training in Phoenix for a whole week. That will be your present. You can even take a friend if you want. You'll love it there. You'll get autographs, see the Giants play. You'll be in heaven."
"Wow! Spring training. Cool."
"You can go to spring training now, Danny. You can ride on the ball if you want to, dance in the stands, blow a breeze through the park so the fielder misjudges the catch. You don't need to be alive to do that," Jacob said.
"It would be more fun if I could go with Christopher."
Jacob stared at him for a long time, and Danny felt his joy drain away. "It's not going to happen, is it?"
"You're still thinking about yourself, Danny.
You've been thinking about yourself since you went looking for your father last week. Haven't you learned anything yet? Open your eyes, kid, look around. Life is about more than just you."
Danny gazed at his Aunt Merrilee, at the boy in the bed, at the tubes going into the boy's arms and down through his nose. His body looked skinny, pale, like a sick person. He remembered how bad he had felt the last time he had the flu. This looked a hundred times worse.
What if Michael was right? What if he was a cripple? His mother would have to take care of him. She would never laugh again. He would be a burden to her and everyone else.
His dad said he would help, but would he really? Luke had walked away before. How could Danny trust him now?
But Danny didn't want to die. He was too scared. Did that mean he was selfish? Probably.
He didn't know what to wish for anymore. Life was too complicated. Heaven was looking better and better all the time.
* * *
Matt knocked on Brenda's door. He was glad he had gone home after Merrilee's Thanksgiving nightmare. Brenda's phone message had brought him the first bit of good news he'd had in days.
Brenda opened the door with a wide, welcoming smile. "Hi, Matt. It's great to see you. Come on in. Can I get you something to drink?"
"Yeah, sure."
"Bud?"
"Fine."
Matt stepped into her living room. He looked around at the art deco furniture, the black-framed paintings, the lone bud vase on the coffee table, the black-and-white rug running the length of the living room, and tried to remember the night they had spent together. Nothing looked familiar, but then the only time he would have been here was that Friday night. The last time they had spent the night together had been at his place, and he remembered every last detail of that encounter.
Brenda came back with a bottle of beer. He took a long sip. It felt good, freeing after a stifling day with family. "Boy, was I glad to hear from you," he said.
Her smile faded. "I'm sorry, Matt. I thought you knew your car was in the garage. Otherwise, I would have left you a note."
"Do you know what kind of hell I've been going through the last few days? My nephew was almost killed by a hit-and-run driver, and I'm the number one suspect."
"I'm sorry." She dug her hands into her pockets. They didn't go far in the tight jeans. "How is your nephew?"
"Not good." He set the bottle down on the table, losing his thirst at the memory of Danny. "Can I get my car now?"
"Sure. It's in the garage."
Matt felt an incredible sense of relief when he saw his car, as if a part of his life had been given back to him. But the relief faded when he came around the front. He stopped and stared. Jesus! No wonder Alan thought he was guilty. The license plate was bent, and there was a thick crack in the headlight. "What happened?"
Brenda shrugged. "You hit that low brick wall at the beginning of the driveway when we turned in. I guess you had too much to drink."
Matt shook his head at her understatement. "Too much to drink? I must have been plastered, because I don't remember a thing. Why the hell did you let me drive? And why the hell did you get in the car with me? I could have killed us both."
Brenda swallowed, looking suddenly nervous. "I wasn't thinking clearly, Matt. Next time, I'll be more careful."
There was something in the way she avoided his eyes, the restless shifting of her feet, that made Matt doubt her statement. Had he hit Danny? Was she hiding the truth from him? But why would she do that? She wouldn't protect him. They had had sex, not a relationship. No, she wouldn't lie to protect him, but she might lie to protect herself.
"Do you want to come in for a while?" Brenda asked. "We could -- you know -- have some fun. I don't have to go to work until tomorrow morning."
Matt barely registered her words, his mind focused on one thing and one thing only. "I wasn't driving, was I?"
She looked shocked. "Of course you were driving."
"You're lying." He moved forward. Brenda took a hasty step back. "You knew I was drunk. You wouldn't risk your life to let me drive."
"I didn't know you were that drunk. You seemed okay."
"You were behind the wheel Friday night. You're the one who hit Danny!"
"No."
He grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. "Tell me the truth, dammit. Tell me the truth."
"No! No! I didn't hit Danny." She held up a hand. "Okay, I was driving, but I hit the wall out front. Since you didn't remember, I lied, because I don't have extra money to pay for the damage. But I did not hit your nephew. I swear on the Bible."
Matt stared at her for a long time. "I want to believe you. Because if you were driving, and I was sitting next to you when you ran over Danny, I don't think I could live with myself."
"I didn't hit Danny. I hit a wall. Just a wall. And I will pay for the damage."
"I don't care about the money, Brenda."
"You don't?"
He shook his head. "No."
"Then that's settled." She looked relieved. "Can you stay for a while? I hate spending Thanksgiving alone."
"I can't. I have to see Danny. I should have gone earlier. Now that I know the truth, I can face him and Jenny with a clean conscience."
* * *
Jenny put an arm around Merrilee's waist as they stood together next to Danny's bed. "If I could trade places with him, I would," Jenny said.
"You love him that much?"
"Yes. Just as you love your children."
"I do." Merrilee nodded. "1 sometimes get so caught up in scolding them I forget how much I love them, how much they mean to me and Richard."
"Speaking of Richard, is everything okay with you two?"
"No."
Jenny raised an eyebrow. "Wow. You really are different tonight. You'd never admit that to me otherwise."
"I don't know what to do, Jenny. He's slipping away."
"You have to fight for him like I'm fighting for Danny. These are the people we love, Merrilee. Look at your nephew. Look at how fragile life is. You can't stand by and let things drift away. They're too precious."
Merrilee glanced over at her and smiled. "You've changed, too."
"How could I not?" She paused. "I'm sorry I didn't come to the house. I just couldn't face Thanksgiving."
"That's okay. I understand." Merrilee paused. "I asked Dad to come here with me. He said no. I'm sorry."
"It's okay. I'm not sure I'd know what to say to him if he did come."
"Funny, I think he's worried about the same thing. I wonder why it's so difficult to talk to the people we love."
Jenny shrugged. "Anyway, you're here. That helps." She cleared her throat. "By the way, Alan came to see me earlier. He thinks Matt was responsible for Danny's accident."
Merrilee sighed. "I wish he hadn't told you that."
"You knew?"
"Yes. Matt honestly doesn't remember a thing, Jenny. I don't know what to say. We both know he's a lousy dru
nk."
"He makes me so angry. I wish he'd believe in himself again. There's more to life than football."
"I never used to think so." Matt's voice drew their attention to the doorway. "Okay, if I come in?"
"Of course. I'm glad you came." Jenny took his hand and pulled him close. She would not think about Alan's suspicions. Matt was her brother, and she loved him. Right now family was more important than anything else.
"How are you, Jen-Jen?" Matt asked.
"I've had better days."
Matt looked at Danny and shook his head. "Jesus, he looks like shit."
Jenny smiled. "Trust you to put this all in perspective."
Matt turned to her. "I didn't do it, Jenny. I know I didn't. Brenda swears she drove us both to her place, and the only thing we hit was the brick wall in front of her house. I can't prove it. But in my heart, I know I couldn't have hurt Danny. I love this kid."
"I know you do."
Matt rubbed his hand across his eyes. Jenny wanted to comfort him, so she wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. As she glanced up, she caught Merrilee watching them with something that looked like envy. After a moment's hesitation, Jenny stepped back and beckoned Merrilee into their circle.
The three of them stood together, holding each other. Jenny hadn't felt this close to her siblings in a long time. She looked past them to Danny and thought she saw a faint smile cross his lips.
"Happy Thanksgiving," she whispered.
* * *
"Dad," Danny whispered, tugging on Luke's sleeve. There was no response. Danny glanced over at the clock. It was after midnight, but he didn't care. He dug his fingers into Luke's arm. Luke moaned but didn't open his eyes. At his wit's end, Danny grabbed a strand of Luke's hair and yanked it out.
"Ow!" Luke blearily opened his eyes. "What's going on?"
"You're turning gray, Dad." Danny held up the strand of gray hair between his fingers.
Luke shook his head, obviously trying to wake up. Danny pulled the rocking chair over to the side of the bed and began to rock back and forth, faster and faster, until the chair threatened to collide with the dresser.
"Hey, watch out. You'll wake Denise." Luke glanced over his shoulder to be sure Denise was still sleeping. She was, her eyes covered with a mask of black velvet. He turned back to Danny. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to see you about something important."
"Danny, I don't know if you're real, or if I'm imagining you, but this is crazy. You're a ghost."
"No. I'm not a ghost." Danny tipped his head. "Actually, I'm not sure what I am. Jacob says I'm not an angel, because I'm not dead yet."
"No, you're not. You're lying in a hospital room." Luke shook his head. "I can't believe I'm talking to a hallucination. Do you visit your mother like this?"
Danny suddenly looked pained. "No. Jacob says it's not allowed. I want to though. I miss her. Will you tell her I miss her?"
"Of course. But she won't believe me. How could she? You're in a coma, Danny."
"Do you think I'll make it?"
"I don't know. Will you?" Luke sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. "I need a sleeping pill."
"Don't do that, Dad."
Luke hesitated at the tender word. "God, I wish I could really hear you say that."
"Do you?" Danny's eyes searched his face.
"Yes. I want us to be together. I want us to do all the father-son things we're supposed to do."
"Did you put up a basketball hoop yet?"
"This morning."
"Cool. What about baseball? Are you any good?"
Luke frowned. "I always had to play right field."
"Yeah, me, too." Danny smiled in commiseration. "And I strike out a lot. Mom gets so excited when I bat, she jumps up and down in the stands and yells her head off. The other parents think she's nuts. Sometimes, I get embarrassed, but she's kind of cool, you know."
"Yeah, I know," Luke said softly, feeling the same protectiveness toward Jenny that Danny felt.
"That's why I came tonight, in case you've forgotten. Next Friday, a week from tomorrow, is Mom's birthday. I didn't get her a gift."
"She won't be expecting a present, Danny. She just wants you to get well."
"I'm not sure I can."
"Don't say that."
Danny got up from the chair. "Michael and Jacob said I might be paralyzed or retarded even if I wake up. I don't think Mom could handle that."
"I would help her, Danny. We'd do whatever it took to get you well."
"You mean you'd stick around even if I was retarded?"
"Of course. I won't turn my back on you, Danny. That's a promise."
"How do I know you'll keep your promise?"
Luke looked him straight in the eyes. "You'll have to trust me."
Danny nodded. "You're okay, Dad."
"So are you."
"Now, here's what I want you to do," Danny said, and proceeded to tell Luke exactly what to buy Jenny for her birthday.
"That's it?" Luke asked.
"That's it." Danny started to fade away.
"Wait. I want to talk to you some more."
"Jacob says, time's up." On the last word, he vanished.
Luke blinked.
Suddenly Danny appeared again.
"One more thing," Danny said. "Mom broke up with Alan. I thought you might want to know."
Chapter Twenty-Three
The weekend after Thanksgiving passed quickly with an endless stream of visitors to Danny's hospital room. Jenny held court there, accepting flowers, stuffed animals, comic books, and compact discs. She read Danny stories and told him jokes. She sang to him. Sometimes Danny turned his head. Sometimes his hand jerked back when she pinched him. Other times, there was nothing.
The next week passed more slowly.
Merrilee came and went every day. Richard dropped by in the evenings. Alan checked in before he went on duty. Matt made an appearance at least every other day, and Jenny's friends Gracie and Pru stopped by whenever they could.
Danny's friend Christopher and his other buddies came by after school, solemn and serious. Jenny respected their courage, knowing that it was even more difficult for them to accept the fact that someone their own age could be so close to death. With Danny's accident, the boys had lost some of their innocence.
Christopher, of course, was riddled with guilt over his part in the adventure. Jenny tried to comfort him, to assure him that with or without his help, Danny would have found his way to his father's house. Her words made little difference. Only Danny's recovery would free Christopher from the weight of his guilt.
Seeing the boys and talking to them about school was difficult for Jenny. She had known some of the kids since they'd been born. They reminded her of Danny -- their mannerisms, their clothing, the words they used, the tenor of their voices, breaking between childhood and adolescence.
Then there was Luke. He rarely went home. At first, she felt awkward around him, but as time passed, she was grateful for his presence, for the opportunity he offered to escape for a few minutes. And Luke had the inside track with the doctors. He asked questions that didn't even occur to her, and he got answers.
Luke -- the man was working his way back into her life, and Jenny didn't know how to stop him. Worse, she didn't really want to stop him.
On Friday afternoon, two weeks after the accident, Jenny paused at the nurses' station and looked into Danny's room through the glass partition. Luke was sitting next to Danny's bed, talking to his son, touching Danny's hands, working his arms and legs with affectionate, loving gestures.
It touched her heart to see them together. Danny would be happy to have his father's undivided attention. She hoped to God that Danny could hear what Luke was saying. It would mean so much to her son.
As she watched the two of them together, she noted how tired Luke looked. His hair was messy, his suit wrinkled. His tie was pulled away at the neck, and he had unbuttoned the top two button
s on his shirt.
The sight of him in such a state brought with it a wave of tenderness. This was the man she had loved. The one who was human, not the one who was rich and powerful and smart as hell, but the one who could be vulnerable.
"He's been here for an hour," the nurse said.
Jenny glanced at her. "Really?"
"Yes. He's different from what I expected. I've met his father," she added.
Jenny nodded in understanding. "So have I."
"But Dr. Sheridan is so sweet with Danny. You're lucky. Well, I'm going off duty now. Have a nice night."
"Thanks." Jenny stepped into the room. Luke looked up and smiled at her.
"Hi."
"Hi yourself. You look like you slept in those clothes."
Luke tilted his head as he considered his attire. "I flew down to L.A. early this morning. I went to talk to another specialist about Danny."
"And?"
Luke walked over to her. "Let's go outside." He put a hand under her elbow and drew her into the hall, away from ICU. "He thinks the longer Danny stays in a coma, the less his chance for recovery."
"It's been two weeks. Is that a long time?"
"Yes."
Jenny took in a deep breath and let it out. He wasn't telling her anything she didn't already know, but hearing the words out loud made them seem more real. "Dr. Lowenstein told me the same thing," she said. "He even mentioned the possibility of moving Danny out of intensive care. I'm afraid if he does that, Danny won't get the attention he needs."
"Don't worry. If they move him into a private room, I'll hire twenty-four-hour, round-the-clock care, with the best nurses available."
"Thank you. I mean that sincerely. I don't know what I would have done without you this past week." She attempted a smile. "Not just your money, but your support. I never expected you to react this way, not after the way we parted."
Luke looked at her with pain in his eyes. "I feel helpless, Jenny. I should be able to do more for you than hold your hand. I can't believe I've spent my entire life studying to be a doctor so I could save lives, and I can't do a damn thing to save my own son."
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