Off to their left was the Golden Gate Bridge, red in actual color, but no less breathtaking in the moonlight. In the middle of the bay was Alcatraz Island and somewhere, although he couldn't see it clearly, was Angel Island.
Angel. The word made him glance to the heavens. Where are you tonight, Danny? Lying in the hospital bed or soaring through the sky with your friend Jacob?
"This is peaceful," Jenny said, resting her head against his arm. "I love being outside. Danny does, too. From the day I brought him home when he was a baby, as soon as he'd start to cry, I'd take him out on the porch, and he'd shut up faster than an oyster guarding its pearl." She laughed at the memory.
"It's nice to hear you laugh. It's been a long time."
"I feel better tonight. I don't know why. It's strange. Sometimes when I'm away from the hospital, I feel closer to Danny than when I'm there. Isn't that odd?"
Luke shook his head, not trusting himself to speak. He wanted to tell Jenny that he had seen Danny. But saying the words out loud seemed absurd. Danny was in a coma. He was not cavorting around as an angel. Luke didn't believe in angels, or for that matter, in God. At least he hadn't believed -- before now.
Looking up into the stars, on a night like this, holding the woman he loved in his arms, Luke began to think all things were possible.
"You're quiet," Jenny said. "Maybe we should go."
"We have time."
"What did your parents say when you told them about Danny?"
He shrugged his shoulders. "Not much."
"Don't try to spare my feelings. I want to know."
Luke didn't know what to say. He didn't want to hurt Jenny any more than he already had, but he couldn't hide the truth from her. She would see right through him. Finally, he said, "My father thinks you're after my money, and my mother thinks that adding a son to my life would complicate things."
"She's right."
"It's my life."
"What about your wife? Does she want children?"
His stomach turned over at the question. He still couldn't believe what Denise had done. "Funny you should ask," he said bitterly. "Denise got a tubal ligation last month without telling me."
Jenny stepped away from him, startled by his words. "She did? Without telling you?"
"That's correct. I found out by accident. She figured she'd just never get pregnant, and that would be that. One of those little ironies you were talking about. I had the chance to be a father to Danny all those years ago. Now he's in intensive care, and I'll probably never have another child. I think you just got the last laugh."
"I'm not laughing."
And she wasn't. She was looking at him with an intensity that was pure Jenny -- bold, truthful, honest, and forgiving. He realized it then -- she had forgiven him, and for the life of him he couldn't understand why.
"You should be laughing," he said harshly. "I ruined your life."
She did smile then. "Giving me Danny didn't ruin my life. He's the best part of my life. He anchors me, and you know how much I need an anchor."
"I don't know about that. I thought if there was a human being on this earth who could fly, it would be you."
"Me?" she asked in wonder. "I'm a mere mortal, Luke. You were the one who always soared higher than everyone else."
"I didn't soar. I climbed up the ladder, one foot after another, relentlessly on and on and on." He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling incredibly weary. "I couldn't get off. I couldn't stop. Something was pushing me up that ladder, like a hamster that can't get off the damn wheel, even if it kills him."
"What was driving you, Luke?"
"Fear." He opened his eyes and looked at her. "I was terrified that if I stopped, I'd fall into oblivion where no one would care about me." He tried to laugh, because his words sounded dark, lonely, vulnerable. Jenny wasn't buying it.
"You can't be what you aren't, Luke."
"I'm beginning to realize that."
Luke pulled a stand of her hair away from her face. It was a tender, loving gesture. He wanted to have more moments like this, times when he could talk to her about anything and know she wouldn't judge him.
"Jenny?"
She looked at him inquiringly. "Luke?"
He smiled. "What about your dreams? I just realized I don't even know what you do for a living."
"I'm a checkout cashier at McDougal's Market in Half Moon Bay. I've been there seven years now. Talk about a hamster on a wheel. But it pays most of my bills. I work some nights at the Acapulco Lounge serving cocktails, mostly to my brother," she said wryly, "and in my spare time, I make jewelry that I hope will one day make me a rich and famous artisan. Right now, it pretty much just pays for Little League."
Luke looked at her for a long moment, incredibly touched by her matter-of-fact explanation of her life. She made it sound so much easier than he knew it had to be.
"You're something else," he murmured.
"Not really." Her face turned serious. "Your parents were right, Luke. I didn't grow up to be anybody special. Not like you."
"Thank God," he said fervently. "And don't sell yourself short, Jenny. During the last two weeks, you've impressed the hell out of me. You have so much strength and courage. Where did it all come from?"
"Danny," she said simply. "I had a child. I had to take care of him. And I didn't do it alone. Merrilee helped in the beginning, almost too much. And Matt gave me money. I tried not to depend on them, but sometimes I didn't have a choice." She took a deep breath. "Anyway, the past is past, right? Want to see some of my jewelry?"
"I'd love to." Actually, he wanted to take her in his arms and promise that she would never have to struggle for anything again, that he would give her money and a house and a car and anything else she and Danny needed. But he didn't say a word, because he could see the pride in her eyes, and he didn't want her to think that she was anything but a success.
Jenny pulled a necklace out from under her sweater. "I made this piece just before Danny got hurt."
Luke touched the coral-colored shell necklace with a reverent gesture. "It's lovely. Different."
"That's me, different." She shrugged her shoulders. "My friend Pru thinks I should try to sell the jewelry a little more aggressively than at the local art fair. I've been considering it for a while." She shook her head. "I used to think I had so much time to do what I wanted to do. Then this happened, and I realized everything could end in a second." She paused. "Danny helps me collect the shells and rocks. We've been doing it together since he was old enough to walk. I'm not sure I can do it without him. I'm not sure I can fill the couple of orders that I have before Christmas. Oh God, Luke." Her face tightened with fear. "Everything in my life revolves around Danny. How can I lose him?"
"You can't and you won't. Maybe I could help you."
Fear was replaced by amazement. "You, a business tycoon and successful doctor, want to help me look for seashells on the beach?"
"Why not?"
"Why?"
"Because you'd be there." Because I have a feeling I'd find more on the beach than just seashells. Like a reason for being. Like a love that I thought was gone forever.
"Luke, I can't -- "
"Sh-sh. Don't say it."
"I don't know what you want from me." Jenny looked at him searchingly.
He wanted her love, her passion, everything she had to give, especially her trust. But what he didn't want to do was scare her. It was too soon, too fast, so he said nothing.
"Do you mind if we walk awhile?" Jenny didn't wait for an answer.
They strolled in silence past the St. Francis Yacht Club and the harbor, closer to the lights on the Golden Gate Bridge. After a while, Jenny slipped her arm through his. They stopped at the end of the path, just beneath the bridge, awed by its majesty.
"We're so small, so insignificant," Jenny said.
"I don't know about that. The bridge wouldn't have been built without man's talents."
Jenny smiled at him. "Always so logical. I feel cl
ose to you, Luke, as if the years in between were nothing more than a second when we didn't see each other. How can that be? I should hate you."
"You should."
"I don't, and you don't hate me either, even though I never told you about your son."
"As if I could." His voice was husky, filled with emotion. He wanted to stop it, prevent her from seeing how much she affected him, but it was impossible. His senses were filled with the sight of her. He wanted to kiss her again. He wanted it so badly any thought of stopping was beyond his control.
His mouth touched hers, and one kiss turned into two, then three, long, never-ending, mindless moments of passion between two people who had been apart far too long. Her name rang through his head. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Her softness washed over him. Her warmth heated his body. He couldn't get enough of her.
Jenny broke away, her face flushed, her lips swollen. "No."
"It's right. Don't fight it. Don't fight us."
"I have to. I'm not a young girl anymore, Luke. I don't believe in fairy tales. And happy endings are beginning to look less and less possible. I've grown up. I've changed. I take responsibility for my actions."
"So do I, Jenny."
"Then you have to see we can't be together. You're with someone else."
"Right now -- at this moment -- I'm with you, completely, totally."
"Fine, forget about your wife, but I'm involved with Alan."
"Are you?" Luke tipped up her chin and smiled into her eyes. "Are you with him -- really with him?"
Jenny licked her lips. "No," she said, honest to the end. "But that's beside the point."
"If you're not with him, then he won't mind if I kiss you."
"Oh, he'll mind all right, and so will your wife."
"I'm going to do it anyway, unless you say no. Are you saying no?"
"No." And she lifted her face to his.
* * *
"Mush. I hate mush." Jacob walked along the railing of the Golden Gate Bridge like a trapeze artist.
"Would you move?" Danny said. "I'm trying to see my mom and dad." His eyes widened as the moonlight lit Jenny and Luke like two lovers caught in a spotlight on a dark stage. "Wow. They're really kissing."
Jacob jumped off the railing and put a hand over Danny's eyes. "That's enough for you, my boy. This is definitely not PG-13."
Danny tried to push Jacob's hands away from his face. "Come on, I want to see."
"No way. I'm protecting your morals."
"Tell me what's happening then."
"Use your imagination." Jacob sighed. "Those two are getting ahead of themselves. Looks like they need me right about now."
Danny pulled free of Jacob as the old man leaned over the railing of the bridge. "What are you doing?"
"Bringing 'em to their senses."
"No." Danny grabbed his arm. "I want them to kiss. I want them to get back together. This is cool."
"Well, I suppose." Jacob tilted his head in thought. "Nah." He leaned over and blew against the water of the bay as if it were a candle on a birthday cake. To Danny's amazement, Jacob's breath created an incredible wave that hit the side of the shore just below where his parents were standing, covering them with a spray of water.
Luke and Jenny broke apart, laughing as they wiped the water out of their eyes. After a moment, they turned and walked back the way they had come.
Jacob laughed with pure delight. "I love that trick. Works every time."
Danny folded his arms in front of his chest, scowling at the old man. Jacob looked a little shame-faced.
"It was a joke. Lighten up, kid."
"They were getting together, and you broke 'em up."
"They don't look broken up to me."
Jacob pointed at the couple. Luke and Jenny had stopped and were kissing again.
Danny smiled. "I knew they were still in love."
"Yeah, well, all this mush is making me nauseous," Jacob said. "Come on, I know a place where there's a little more action."
"Wait, something isn't right."
Jacob pulled his arm. Danny clung to the railing with his fingertips, reluctant to leave. Although he wanted to see his parents together, he suddenly realized they were together without him, and they didn't seem to care. "How come they're out here kissing when I'm lying in the hospital?" he asked.
Jacob sighed. "Boy, you aren't happy when they're together, and you're not happy when they're apart. What's it going to take, kid?"
"I want to be with them."
"I don't think they're missing you right about now."
"I guess not." Danny felt incredibly annoyed by that thought.
Jacob rested his arms on the railing of the bridge. "Ever play dominoes, kid?"
"Yeah."
"One action leads to another action. It's the same with life. You make decisions. Things happen. You have to play out your hand. Roll the dice. Go for broke on two outs, full count in the bottom of the ninth. Got it?"
Danny sighed. "You're saying all this is my fault."
"Your life is your fault, Danny boy. When are you going to start taking responsibility for it?"
"I don't have a life at the moment," Danny snapped back, irritated with Jacob and his mother and Luke. "I'm just a kid, you know. I don't know anything."
Jacob grinned at him. "Now that's the smartest thing I've heard you say. I think we're making progress. I might just get promoted after all."
Danny sent him a suspicious look. "What do you have to do to get promoted?"
"I have to right a wrong."
"What wrong?"
Jacob ignored his question. "Come on, we've got work to do."
Danny cast one last lingering look at his parents and then followed Jacob into the heavens.
* * *
Saturday morning, Jenny awoke to the sound of pounding on her front door. She looked at the clock on the bedside table and swore. It was seven o'clock in the morning, barely light. What the heck was going on?
She stumbled out of bed, drew her bright floral kimono robe around her T-shirt, and headed for the door. Throwing it open, she said, "This better be good."
"It is." Luke walked in, looking nothing like himself. He was wearing a gray sweatshirt and a faded pair of blue jeans that were actually ripped at the knee. Ripped? Jenny blinked her eyes shut. She must be dreaming.
"Are you ready to go?" Luke asked.
Jenny opened her eyes. He was still there, looking downright proud of himself. He was holding a child's bright orange bucket and a shovel in one hand.
"Go where?" she asked.
"Beachcombing. Seashells, jewelry, you remember," Luke said.
"What's with the bucket? Do you think my business is a game, Luke? A child's toy?" Irritation filled her voice. She was never at her best first thing in the morning, and his incredibly cheerful face made her feel downright angry.
"No. No. I saw it in the store," Luke said hastily. "I thought maybe I could talk you into building another sand castle with me."
"You're crazy. Like I have time to build sand castles. I have to make my bed, pick up the house, stop by the store, and buy some milk. And sometime today, I have to put together two necklaces, send in my registration for the Spring Art Fair, and spend at least eight hours with my son in the hospital." She ran out of steam and leaned against the wall.
"I'll help you, Jenny. We'll spend an hour at the beach so you can pick up your supplies, then we'll divide up your list of things to do."
"I can't just take off for the beach right now. I'm not dressed. I'm not ready."
"You used to be ready for anything."
"Well, I'm not anymore. Okay?" she snapped, running a hand through her tousled hair. "You should have called first. You can't just barge into my life and take over."
"That's what you did to me," Luke said. He stared at her for a long moment, his good humor slowly fading like the air out of a balloon. "I never knew what hit me. You swept me off my feet."
"I couldn't lift you off the ground.
"
"You did it with your smile, your passion for life. I took that away, didn't I? God, I wish I could give it back to you."
"You can't." Jenny tried to ignore the way he was looking at her. She pulled the sash tighter around her waist, suddenly very aware of her skimpy outfit and the rumpled bed just down the hall. He looked so good this morning, better than a cup of coffee, better than a hot bagel with cream cheese.
Food. She needed food and coffee. Then she could make her list and get organized. But first, she needed to wake up and deal with this man in a logical and rational manner. Logical and rational?
"Oh my God," she said out loud.
"What's wrong now?"
"I just realized -- I've turned into you."
Luke smiled. "I was thinking the same thing."
"I don't want to be you."
"I don't want to be me, either."
Jenny put a hand to her head, which was suddenly throbbing with the beginning of a very painful headache. "Luke, go home."
"Not a chance, sweetheart." His smile was back in full force. "We've both changed. That's true. Let's find out who we are now. We'll get your work done, I promise. Just give me an hour. You won't regret it."
"I hate when people say that." Jenny headed for the bedroom. "All right. I'll get dressed. Make me some coffee, okay?"
"Coffee? Uh, Jenny ..."
Jenny paused in the doorway. "What's wrong now?"
"I don't know how to make coffee. My secretary does it."
She started to laugh softly then with the sheer joy of feeling good again. Luke looked helplessly charming. God help her. "Then it's about time you learned," she said. "Beans are in the cupboard. Give it your best shot."
"What if I screw up?"
"Then you'll know how the rest of us feel ninety-nine percent of the time."
Chapter Twenty-Five
"I messed up," Richard said as he faced Merrilee across the kitchen counter.
"Merrilee wiped down the counter with a sponge. She didn't want to look at him. She didn't want him to see her red, blotchy eyes, didn't want him to know how badly he had hurt her. He hadn't come home last night, for which she had been supremely grateful, but it was now almost seven o'clock on Saturday evening, and she had spent the last eight hours waiting on pins and needles for his arrival.
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