"We wanted to see our grandchild," Charles said.
"Really? I find that hard to believe."
"That's because you don't know us very well."
"I'd like you both to leave." Jenny felt good after she said the words. She wasn't a naive kid anymore. This was her child, her life, her territory. She wouldn't let them come in and hurt Danny.
"We're sorry about what's happened to your son," Beverly said.
"Thank you." Jenny didn't waver in her stance. Beverly and Charles Sheridan were arrogant and used to getting their own way. She had no idea what they wanted now, but she was not going to let them get it.
Beverly offered her an apologetic smile. "I know you won't believe me, but I'm sorry about the way I treated you all those years ago. I was afraid of your influence, afraid you would take Luke away from us, away from what we wanted for him."
Jenny softened a bit at her explanation. Charles and Beverly didn't look nearly as intimidating as she remembered. "I obviously didn't do that. He left me," she said.
"Not willingly." Beverly nudged her husband.
Jenny set the teddy bear down in the bed next to Danny. "I understand you better now that I have a child. I don't suppose I looked like a great catch at the time. But things are different now. I'm looking to the future, not to the past."
"So are we," Beverly said. "We don't want to interfere in your life. In fact, we'll go now."
Jenny watched them walk to the door with mixed emotions. She didn't want Beverly and Charles back in her life, but then again they were Danny's grandparents. She looked over at her son's face and remembered his endless list of questions about his ancestors, his fascination with family history.
"Wait," she said.
Beverly and Charles looked at her with expectation in their eyes.
"Danny wants to know you. He wants to know Luke. That's all. If you're open to that, I would welcome you into his life."
Beverly smiled at her. "You're very generous, much more than I would have been."
"Just be kind to my son, because I'm a lot older now, and a lot tougher. And I'll be watching you every second."
Charles laughed at her spirited statement. "And so you should."
Luke entered the room with a look of surprise and wariness, "Is everything all right?"
"Everything is fine," Jenny said.
Beverly kissed him on the cheek. "We'll see you at the house, Luke. You have a handsome son. You should be proud."
"I am proud."
As the door shut behind them, Luke looked over at Jenny. "Are you all right?"
"Still in one piece. Your parents aren't as bad as I remember." She glanced over at Danny. "He certainly seems to have brought about change in a lot of people. I hope that isn't the lesson, Luke. I hope Danny isn't paying the price for our foolishness, that we have to learn something from his -- " She couldn't bring herself to say the word. "God wouldn't be that cruel, would he?"
"I hope not."
Luke picked up the teddy bear. "Who's this guy?"
"That's Mack."
"He's missing the fur on his nose."
Her eyes misted over. "Yeah, Danny used to rub that spot with his finger when he went to sleep at night. He finally let it go when he was about nine. I thought he had thrown it away, but today I cleaned his room and found it stuffed in the back of his closet."
Luke tucked the bear in next to Danny's head and moved Danny's arm so that it was wrapped around the bear.
Jenny took a deep breath at the tender sight, trying not to cry. The time for tears was over. Besides, she didn't want to be sad. She had brought the bear to cheer Danny up. Somehow, she hoped Danny would draw comfort from the stuffed animal as he had done on so many nights.
She poured herself a glass of water from the pitcher next to Danny's bed and took a sip. "So, what brought on the family gathering? Did you have to bribe them or sell the next twenty years of your life?"
"I deserved that." Luke smiled at her. "I've made some decisions, Jenny. I'm taking a leave of absence from Sheri-Tech to spend more time with you and Danny."
"What? You can't do that. This was your dream, Luke, to take over your father's company. You can't walk away now."
"It isn't my dream anymore. My dream is you."
His eyes met hers, filled with meaning, promises of a future together. Jenny wanted to believe him, but she was afraid. "You're caught up in all this," she said, waving her hand around the room. "When Danny wakes up, you'll feel differently. You'll blame me. You'll leave me again."
"I won't. You have to trust me, Jenny." He reached for her hands and squeezed them tightly, as if he never wanted to let her go.
"Oh, Luke, I want to trust you. It's difficult."
"I know." He paused. "I'm also getting a divorce."
Her eyes widened in shock. "No. That's not true."
"It is true."
"Your wife will be devastated." She shook her head. "I know how that feels, Luke. I was in her position once, remember? You can't do that to her."
"I'm not leaving her. She's leaving me."
"I can't believe it. This is all my fault."
"No, it's not your fault. The failure of my marriage rests solely with myself and with Denise, not with you or with Danny."
She stared at him in confusion. "This is too much for me to take in. Go home, Luke. Save your marriage. Save your career. We can't be together. It's too late for us."
Jenny turned toward Danny and clapped her hand over her mouth in horror. "Oh, my God. Look. He's crying."
A tear had formed at the corner of Danny's eye and dripped down his cheek, followed by another, then another.
"Danny. It's all right. I'm here. I love you." Jenny gathered Danny's thin body into her arms. "You're okay. Everything's okay. Wake up, honey. Open your eyes."
The tears came, nothing else but tears, and Jenny's heart broke with each one. "Sh-sh, baby. Don't cry. I'm here for you."
Luke wrapped his arms around both of them. "I'm here, too, Danny, and I'm not leaving, not ever."
* * *
Danny opened his eyes wide as Jacob took him through a thick cloud. On the other side was the heaven he had envisioned in his mind, large majestic mountains, green trees, flowers everywhere, the grass so thick it felt like carpet beneath his feet. There were streams and waterfalls, bees buzzing, birds chirping, the scent of wildflowers. It was beautiful and breathtaking. Tears came to his eyes. Tears of wonder and anticipation. The real world seemed far away, a lifetime ago.
Danny felt Jacob's hand on his shoulder and savored the strength of the older man's hand. He felt small and afraid in the face of such awesome beauty. He took in a deep breath and let it out.
"Not bad, huh, kid? I'm hoping for a permanent promotion to this place, a nice little cottage with a good view. Yes sirree, that would be the ticket."
"Where are we?"
"The name isn't important. Come on. Your friends are waiting."
Jacob led him around a corner into a patio. There were dozens of people there, all dressed in white robes with gold cords around their waists. Their faces were filled with pleasure, with love. Danny felt instantly welcome.
This place was right. It was home. A woman stepped forward. She smiled at him with the beauty of an angel, and he knew instantly that's who she was -- a messenger of God with long, flowing blond hair and eyes as blue as the sea.
"Don't get any ideas, Danny boy. I'm still your guardian angel," Jacob said grumpily. "When people see Isabelle, they always want to dump me."
Isabelle took Danny's hand. "We're here to help you make a very important decision, Danny."
"About whether I'm going to live or not?"
"Yes."
Finally, some answers. But now that the moment of truth had arrived, Danny felt scared. He turned to Jacob. "What's happening?" he asked.
"Just talk to Isabelle," Jacob advised. "Oh, and cross your fingers for luck."
"Cross my fingers? That's all you can offer me?"
Jacob shrugged and faded away.
"Wait, don't leave me here alone," Danny cried.
Isabelle soothed him with one word from her melodious voice. The word was love. He looked at her and felt the love, the same emotion he had felt every time he hugged his mother. Isabelle motioned for him to sit on a white wicker chair, so he sat. Two of the other angels stayed with them, standing on either side of him, silently supportive, protective.
"Are you frightened, Danny?"
Danny nodded his head up and down.
"Do you believe in God?"
"I guess. I mean, we don't go to church much, but I always believed there was a God. There is, isn't there?"
"Yes."
"Am I going to die?"
"Life on earth is just part of your overall existence, Danny. What you learn in your life as a human being will help you for the rest of your spiritual existence."
Danny swallowed hard, not really following what she was saying. "Okay."
Isabelle smiled gently. "Think of your life on earth as a school, a place to study, to learn about love, anger, joy, courage, and pain. Each soul has a mission on earth, a reason for being."
"Do I? I mean, did I?"
"You did."
"What was it?"
"When you were born, your parents were split apart. Now at the hour of your death, they have come back together. But they're different now. They realize how fragile human life is. They understand that material things are not as important as love that feeds the soul."
"My mom never had a lot of material things," Danny said. "Just my dad."
"That's true. But your mother let pride and fear stop her from sharing her son with his father. Now, she realizes how much time she wasted being afraid. Your father understands the importance of being truthful with himself and with others. And you -- tell me, Danny, what have you learned?"
Danny swallowed hard. "I've learned that I have to be responsible for my actions, that what I do affects more than just me."
"That's good. Anything else?"
Danny thought for a long moment. He suddenly realized that he had learned a lot. He'd learned courage from Michael, who had willingly given up his life so that his parents' lives would be easier. He had learned to accept people the way they were, to understand that his father was just a guy who made mistakes, not some kind of a hero. He had learned that his mother's first priority had always been him, and he had learned that even people like his Aunt Merrilee had a good side.
"I've learned that good things and bad things go together and that the bad stuff makes you appreciate the good stuff even more," Danny said out loud. "Oh yeah, and I've learned patience, because being with Jacob requires the patience of a saint."
Isabelle laughed, a beautiful, joyful sound. "I think you're ready, Danny."
"Ready for what?" he asked, feeling a sense of desperation. "My mom needs me."
"You'll see her again someday. I can promise you that."
"But you can't promise me that I'll live." Danny felt a terrible weight in his stomach. He was going to die. He could feel it. Maybe this was the way it was meant to be, his parents together, without him.
Isabelle waved her hand to the side and the heavens began to roll like a movie on a screen. "Look. Your mother is praying for you."
Down below, Danny saw the earth, a church with a white steeple and bells ringing. He saw beams of light coming from the church up into the heavens. Then he saw inside the church. His mother knelt in prayer. His dad sat next to her, his head bowed.
"That's the third time in a week they've gone to church," Isabelle said. "Your mom prays at night when she's alone in her bed. Your dad says prayers when he's driving to work. We've also heard prayers from Grace, Matt, even your cousins, Constance and William."
"Will their prayers be answered?"
"They hope so. It's Christmas Eve on earth, a time of miracles."
The screen rolled back, and the heavens returned, only this time there was a long path leading up to what looked like golden gates. Isabelle brought him to his feet and gently ushered him forward. "Go forward, Danny. It's time."
Chapter Thirty
Jenny walked out of the church after midnight mass on Christmas Eve and looked up at the heavens. There were so many stars, brilliant lights in the sky. The air was crisp and cold, and she drew her coat around her shoulders.
The last five days had passed so quickly. She had filled the time with work and Christmas preparations, buying presents for Danny to open when he woke up and decorating the tree just the way Danny liked it.
She had tried to stay away from Luke. She still couldn't get used to the idea that he and his wife were getting divorced. But Luke had taken a room at a nearby hotel and true to his promise had spent several hours every day with either her or Danny.
They had played cards, gone shopping together, fought over Luke's desire to pay for everything, and laughed when she had forgotten where she parked her car at the mall.
Luke was different now, more of a man than she remembered, more generous with his emotions. He said it was because of her, that she had given him what no one else could, the freedom to be himself.
They were good for each other. Deep down in her heart, Jenny knew she had never loved anyone else. The few men in between had meant nothing to her. Luke was her soul mate, the one who could hear her thoughts before she said them aloud.
She had found love again, but at what cost? She couldn't lose Danny, not even for Luke. Not her child. "Please, God, don't take my child," she whispered.
Luke caught her by the arm as he made his way through the crowd leaving the church. When they got to the sidewalk, he put his arm around her shoulders, protecting her from the wind that sprang out of nowhere, drawing a chill through their souls that went deeper than the night air. The church bells rang behind them as families left the church, laughing, smiling, carefree.
"It's Christmas Eve, Luke. If there's going to be a miracle, it has to happen tonight."
"Maybe it will."
"I feel so alone," Jenny said, looking around her. "As if a part of me is missing."
"A part of you is missing."
"I spent all day with Danny, Luke. I talked to him until I was hoarse. I sang to him, read him his favorite books, told him about all the presents under the tree. He didn't move," she continued, feeling the frustration build within her. "I pinched him so hard I thought I'd hurt him, but nothing, not even a reflex action. I don't know how long I can pretend that he'll be all right."
"Hush."
Jenny looked into his strong, lean face. His eyes were watchful, worried. In his expression she saw the same loneliness, the same fear, the same need.
"I want to go to the beach, Luke."
"Now? It's late. It's cold."
"I don't care. I have to get away from here. I can't go home tonight. I can't bear to have Christmas without him."
"Then we'll go to the beach."
They walked to his car. Jenny grabbed the keys out of his hand and slid into the driver's side of Luke's Mercedes. "Do you mind?"
Luke smiled at her. "Not yet, but I have a feeling I'm going to."
Jenny drove away from the church, down Highway 1 past the homes and businesses until the only lights on the road came from her headlights, the moon, and the stars. She rolled down the windows, relishing the cold against her skin. Luke wrapped his arms around his chest but didn't say a word. He gripped the side of the car when she took a turn too fast, but remained silent.
Jenny was grateful for his silence. She wanted to feel the speed of the car. The rush got her adrenaline going. Danny was somewhere in the heavens. He was calling out to her. "Mom. Mom." She could almost hear his voice. She had to get to him.
Faster and faster she drove, trying to catch the moon before it went down, before morning came, before another day dawned on her misery.
"Jenny, stop. Stop!" Luke shouted.
Her hands gripped the wheel. She couldn't stop. She had to go forw
ard. Danny was out there. She wanted to hold him, to be with him wherever he was.
"Dammit, stop the car. Are you crazy?"
Luke grabbed the wheel. They wrestled silently. The car swerved against the shoulder, stirring up rocks and pebbles.
"Let go," she cried. "Let go."
"Stop it, Jenny. Danny needs you. He needs you. Stop the car."
The words finally penetrated. Jenny eased her foot off the gas pedal. She pulled the car onto the shoulder of the road and breathed long, deep gasps of air as the panic began to recede.
"What were you trying to do?" Luke demanded.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She stumbled out of the car and fled toward the beach.
Luke followed behind her. He threw a blanket over her shoulders. She tossed it on the sand.
The waves crashed in front of them. She got too close, her feet got wet. It didn't matter. She could walk into the water. She could let herself go under. Maybe then she could find Danny. He was out there somewhere. She knew it.
"Jenny. Don't."
Luke's arms wrapped around her waist.
"Let me go! Let me go!" she shouted.
"No. I will not let you kill yourself."
"Why not? Danny's dead. Why shouldn't I be, too?"
"He's not dead. When he wakes up, he'll need his mother."
"Stop pretending. Stop lying. He's hurt so bad he's never coming back."
"You have to have faith. Believe, Jenny, believe. It's the time for miracles."
"I don't believe in miracles anymore."
"I do. I'll believe in them for both of us. It's a miracle that we're here together right now."
"But Danny's gone. I can't feel him anymore." Jenny turned to face him. She drew Luke's hand to her chest. "There's nothing left in my heart. I feel alone, empty."
"You're not alone."
"I don't feel anything."
"Then feel this."
Luke's mouth came down on hers, forcefully, frantically. His arms came around her body. He crushed her chest against his, until every nerve ending, every taste, every thought was of him.
Jenny went with the kiss, with the touch. The heat of his mouth drove the coldness out of her heart. She wasn't alone anymore. She was with Luke, her first love, the man who had captured her heart and never given it back.
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