by Kaia Knight
His eyes widened, mirroring hers as his voice dropped. “Wait, really?” He looked around nervously, taking a step back from her as if he were afraid he would get hit.
She grinned wickedly. “No! But you should have seen your face!”
“Kai! Gabe!” A panicked voice echoed through the tunnel. Melody jogged towards them, clutching her raincoat over her eyebrows. “Thank God! I saw that lightning—it was so close.” She smacked Kailani on the arm. “Why didn’t you come in sooner?”
“Sorry, we kinda lost track of time then it just started storming out of nowhere. Were you guys waiting long?”
“Not long, I drove Eli to his truck when it started to rain and we...” Melody paused, a blush creeping over her cheeks as she quickly finished, “We came back here.” She jerked her thumb behind her, looking at Gabriel. “Eli’s parked just over there, so you don’t need to walk all the way to Devil’s Punchbowl.”
Gabriel looked like he was suppressing a smile as he exchanged a look with Kailani. “Thanks, Melody.” He sighed. “Should we get going, before this gets any worse?” In answer, the thunder rumbled menacingly, reverberating as they walked towards the opposite end of the tunnel. They paused at the curtain of rain that separated them from the torrent outside.
“Alright, on the count of three, we make a break for it,” Melody said. “Ready? One, two…three!” They ducked through the rain, sprinting towards their vehicles.
Kailani flung open Melody’s passenger door, slamming it shut behind her just as Melody hopped behind the wheel, shoving her hood back.
“Man!” Melody cried. “This is nuts!” She began fiddling with the controls, blasting the heat and taking her jacket off while she chattered.
Kailani gazed out her foggy window as Gabriel’s truck backed away, exiting the parking lot. She absentmindedly brought her knuckle to her untouched lips, lightly brushing back and forth. In the rush of it all, I don’t think we even said goodbye.
She watched two raindrops race down her window, their tracks approaching one another before changing course. Two parallel paths that would never meet.
Chapter 20
Gabriel
Gabriel hopped into his passenger seat, still breathing hard as they pulled out of the parking lot. Eli wore a smug grin, and he flicked the turn signal with an extra flourish, bobbing his head to an imaginary beat.
Gabriel rolled his eyes. “I know you want me to ask, but I’m not biting.”
The seatbelt warning went off as Gabriel leaned forward, struggling to contort his arm to unzip his wetsuit from behind. He wrenched it down to his waist, bridging his hips upwards to shimmy it down over his legs. He cursed as it stuck in folds over his ankles.
“Need help, bro?” The grin still on Eli’s face rubbed Gabriel the wrong way.
Gabriel bent over in the seat, tugging at the slippery neoprene, when his foot popped free and he slammed his head on the glove compartment. With a curse, he leaned back in the seat, rubbing the back of his head.
“You seem frustrated.”
“Yeah, really?” he snapped.
Eli smiled and said, “Well, maybe you had a bad day, but I sure didn’t.”
“Okay, fine, I’ll take the bait,” Gabriel said. “You guys hooked up? Whatever that even means anymore.”
“Yup,” Eli said, popping the ‘p’. “Right where you’re sitting.”
“What? No!”
“Kidding, kidding…kinda. We just kissed.”
Gabriel gave him a look of reproach. “You know, Melody’s actually a really cool girl. If you’re just looking for another one-night stand, I’d look elsewhere.”
Eli shrugged. “You’re just jealous since nothing happened with you and Kai.”
“And how would you know that?”
“Because you wouldn’t be so pissy. What did you guys do, work on your freestyle swimming form? Because I sure as hell know you weren’t practicing breaststroke.”
“Ha, ha, very funny.”
“So, what did you guys do?”
Gabriel bit his cheek, reluctant to share the magic of what had passed between him and Kailani. He wasn’t even sure if he could put it into words. Instead, he shrugged and answered nonchalantly, “Well, we saw whales.”
“No way! I can’t believe I missed that!”
“They came right up to us, it was incredible.”
“And that wasn’t your cue to make a move? Come on, dude!”
“We did almost kiss…then, you know, Thor had other plans for us.”
“Man, that sucks,” Eli laughed, shaking his head.
“Honestly, I’m glad we didn’t.”
“What? Are you crazy?”
“I shouldn’t have even been out there with her alone in the first place. Even if we did kiss, and nobody was there to see it, we would still know. If someone asked me about it later…I don’t know if I could lie.” He sighed. “What am I even doing, Eli? I can’t help but grow closer to her. What do I do, just keep tiptoeing past the line until we’re caught? Avoid her altogether?”
“Why can’t you just enjoy the time you have together, as long as you guys keep your clothes on? Clearly you make each other happy.”
Gabriel threw his hands up. “But I’m going to be her coach for two years. I mean, I can do it, I can wait. But whenever we’re together, it’s like all logic is tossed aside and I can’t keep my hands off of her.”
Eli grinned wickedly. “Then maybe you guys shouldn’t stop yourselves. Wouldn’t it be worth it?”
Gabriel looked at him in exasperation. “Worth ruining my reputation as a coach? Worth her losing her scholarship and possibly her spot on the team?”
“Well, not the losing the scholarship part. I say to hell with it. Just quit! Do you really like working for Dad, anyways?”
“Well…not always. But you know I love being a coach, and it’s all I have right now. Everything isn’t always black and white.”
Eli shook his head, reaching for the radio. He flipped through the stations, but all they could find were mournful, whiny songs, so he punched it off. They sat in silence as the rainy miles slipped past them.
As they crept through the sleepy city of Corvallis, Eli turned to Gabriel. “Hey, want to swing by Mano’s?”
Gabriel nodded, his mood lifting. “Yeah! We haven’t been there since what, last summer?
“You mean the time when Nathaniel shot that chocolate shake out of his nose?”
A laugh fell from Gabriel’s lips, surprising him. “Wow. Was that really just last year? It feels like a lifetime ago.”
“You know, next Sunday is Nathaniel’s birthday. Our first one…”
“Without him. Yeah.”
Gabriel was tugging on a sweatshirt when they bounced into the parking lot that bordered the Willamette River. ‘Mano’s Shake Shack’ was a lone splash of color in the expanse of grey pavement. Its side deck overlooked the river, and big tiki torches were mounted every few feet along the railing.
As they pushed the door open, strings of seashells clanged happily, announcing their entrance as they stepped into a different world. Its contrast to the quiet city of Corvallis was jarring. The muffled sound of steel drums and the ukulele came from an old, wooden radio and a mosaic of bright colors paraded the walls.
“Aloha!” A man waddled his way to the counter, his ruddy face lighting up as he saw the brothers. “No—could it be? My favorite boys!” He came around the register and scooped both of them up like they weighed nothing, leaning back and lifting them off the ground in a bone-crushing hug.
Why this man had come from Hawaii to start a milkshake stand in the middle of a small, inland city was beyond Gabriel, but it had become an endearing part of the culture there. People went out of their way to see the man whose giant smile lifted the spirits of anyone who entered. Kailani would love Mano…I’ll have to introduce them sometime.
Eli grinned at Gabriel as they plopped down at their favorite stools at the counter facing the kitchen. “Hey Man
o, glad to see nothing has changed here. It’s been a while.” They had come almost weekly in the summer when they would go to swim meets at Oregon State University, then any time they passed between Eugene and their childhood home on the coast.
“You guys had me worried that my new formula was no good. I’ve been trying different flavors—the tourists love the new, catchy names.”
They laughed and Gabriel said, “Well, we’ll stick to the usual. Chocolate shakes, extra malt, heavy on the whip, please!”
Mano grinned, returning to the kitchen. He bustled as he spoke, rolling back sleeves to reveal his intricately tattooed arms. “I just sent the other servers home; it’s dead today.” The tables that were usually teeming with college students and local families were empty, driven away by the stormy weather.
Mano set the two frothing drinks in front of the brothers and stuck colorful, swirly straws in each. He wiped down a few drops of condensation with a rag that he flung over his shoulder. “Hey, where’s Nathan? I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you three apart.” He shook his head and thumped a big fist over his heart. “He goes off to be a military hero and forgets about his old man Mano.”
Gabriel froze and found he could not swallow. Just shrug. Just say he’ll be back another time. A few seconds passed, stretching into an awkward silence. Eli exchanged a pained glance with Gabriel.
Mano’s eyes flicked between them, his easy smile fading. “What?”
Eli glanced at Gabriel once more before leaning closer to Mano, putting a hand gently on his shoulder. “Nathaniel—he…died. Last fall. We’re actually here as...a tribute of sorts.”
Mano’s mouth dropped open. He braced himself on the counter with enormous hands and heaved a shaky breath. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say.”
Gabriel watched the emotions shape his broad face. Mano had always been expressive, a man with nothing to hide. He saw the confusion, the sadness, but behind it all, the burning question that usually followed the apologies. What happened?
Gabriel grappled with the guilt that strangled him. This was the part where Eli would look at him with a panicked expression and give a hasty explanation about a ‘water accident’. This is when the words would echo in the hollow of Gabriel’s chest. Why couldn’t you save him? You weren’t enough.
But instead of asking the dreaded question, Mano turned, reaching for the largest glass on the wall of shelves. He placed it on the wooden counter, next to Gabriel, where Nathaniel would usually sit.
Gabriel looked at it in confusion. “The sundae glass?”
Mano turned back towards the kitchen in silence. He returned a few minutes later, poured a milkshake for himself, and set it on the counter.
He looked at the brothers, then at the empty glass next to Gabriel. “Nathaniel is still the record holder for the most sundaes eaten in one sitting, from that very glass.” His lips gave way to a small smile, as he pointed to a large, framed picture on the wall lined with booths.
Gabriel chuckled as he turned to peer at the familiar photo. It was taken from Mano’s viewpoint, behind the counter looking at the three boys: gangly, skinny arms and unkempt hair. In front of Nathaniel’s broad grin were six enormous, empty glasses licked clean.
“Your poor mama.” Mano laughed, shaking his head. “She threatened to put me out of business after the sugar rush that gave you on the car ride home.” He cleared his throat. “Let’s make a toast.” He raised his glass and said, “To Nathaniel.”
The brothers lifted milkshake glasses, echoing ‘To Nathaniel’, then sipped at the milkshakes.
The solemn silence was broken a few moments later by an undignified slurp from Eli’s curly straw. When Gabriel saw his brother’s lips still puckered on the pink straw with wide, horrified eyes, he surprised himself by laughing.
“Leave it to you to ruin a moment like that,” Gabriel said, shoving Eli off the stool. The painful clenching in his chest loosened slightly as he watched his brother stumble, a grin spreading across his face.
“So, how’s your mama? I haven’t seen her in years.” Mano’s eyes still showed sadness, but his voice was light.
Eli shrugged, earning a dark look from Mano, who wagged a finger in his face.
“You boys don’t keep up with your mama? Shame on you! I’ve called home every Friday night, every week, for the past fifteen years across an ocean. You can visit your own mother a few hours away!”
Eli shifted, ruffling his hair. “I dunno…it’s complicated.”
“What’s complicated? Family is family!” He pointed at the wooden sign above the door that said ‘Ohana’.
Gabriel quickly steered the conversation away from their mother. Eli shot Gabriel a grateful look as they settled into easy conversation, recounting fond memories with Nathaniel over the years.
When Mano started cleaning up in preparation to close, the brothers stood simultaneously, and Eli slid a large bill under his empty glass.
Gabriel leaned over the counter to clasp Mano’s hand. “Nice seeing you Mano, I’ll probably be back two weekends from now. We have our first swim meet.”
Mano’s eyes lit up as a grin stretched across his face. “So you’ll have a bus load of hungry athletes? Call me ahead of time and I can get a head start on the order!”
“You bet! Seeya.”
As they pushed the door open to the damp, dreariness outside, Mano’s whistling was swallowed by the chiming of the seashells.
They climbed into the truck and Eli cranked the engine. They drove in silence for several minutes as they headed towards Eugene.
“Hey, Gabe.”
Gabriel braced at his serious tone. “What’s up?”
“Would you consider…going to therapy?” He continued quickly when Gabriel looked at him sharply, “I know, I know, you told me not to ask you again, but…I just feel like you’re at a point where it would really help.”
“There’s nothing they could tell me that would take back what happened.”
“No shit, Gabe, a therapist can’t bring him back. But they can help you. They sure did for me.”
“What?”
“My supervisor made me do four therapy sessions when I first returned to work last fall…and then I kept going, because honestly, it was the only thing that helped. That’s when I first told you about it, and you all but punched me in the mouth every time I brought it up.”
Gabriel huffed as he sat back into his seat, staring out the passenger window. “Oh.”
“Yeah, oh. That’s why I’m not as hot-headed as you. Because I learned how to process my grief.”
Gabriel’s voice was taut, heat flaring through his face. “Easy for you to say. You weren’t there. You have no idea what I went through, what I feel every day.”
“Exactly! Nobody will know what you’re feeling, and nobody can help you. Until you talk about it with a professional. What, do you think it’ll make you seem weak? Because honestly, I think the only reason you haven’t gone is because you’re too scared to finally feel better.”
“I’m not scared.”
“Yeah, you are. Do you enjoy beating yourself up, wallowing in pity while good things and happiness are right within your reach? Is that what you want?”
Gabriel exhaled as if the battle that had swelled up in his chest had been punctured.
What do I want?
Silence cloaked them in its heavy hold once more. The rain continued to pummel the roof of the truck, and Gabriel reclined his seat, closing his eyes as guilt twisted in his stomach. Lulled by the rain, he drifted into a dreamlike state, only to be brought back to the surface whenever the pattering was paused by the cover of an overpass.
He dreamed he was staggering through thick sand, his back bending under the pressure on his shoulders. The weight drove him to his knees, sagging beneath the burden he always carried. He gasped for air as the sands shifted, stinging his skin as it buried him alive.
Chapter 21
Kailani
Kailani gazed out the p
assenger window as Melody drove down the wooded lanes of Eugene. The clouds had finally begun to part, making way to ribbons of pink and purple, before its colors were swallowed by the blanket of dusk.
It felt like days had passed since Melody had picked her up that morning. Kailani recalled Cristiano standing in the doorway when she had left, calling ‘seeya in the surf, roomie!’ as he stuck his thumb and pinky in a ‘hang loose’ gesture. Her gut clenched. Everything is going to be weird between us.
Melody whistled happily as she drove, seemingly oblivious to Kailani’s inner conflict. She turned into the driveway of Lilac Ranch, pulling over and killing the lights halfway down the lane.
Kailani’s head whipped towards Melody. “Uh—why are we here? I thought we were going to your house!”
Melody grinned, wagging her eyebrows. “Because we’re on a secret mission. I’ll call it ‘Operation Rocky’.” When Kailani stared at her in silence, she sighed, “Because you punched Cristiano today? Oh, never mind. I’m going to grab your stuff.”
“No, it’s fine! There’s no swim practice tomorrow, so I don’t need anything.”
“I want you to come run with the tri team tomorrow, which means you need your shoes.” She began to open her door, but Kailani grabbed her hand.
“Mel—wait. I don’t think this is a good idea. He’s probably still pissed!”
“What’s he gonna do, punch me? I’ll kick him in the nuts.”
“That’s not funny! Seriously, you don’t need to do this.”
“Oh, but I do. Don’t ruin the fun for me. This is the most excitement I’ve had in a while. Your life is like a telenovela, and I’m all in.” Melody made a move to slide out of her seat once more.
Kailani sighed and dug in her bag. “Wait, here’s my key. My running shoes are right by the front door. No need to go all the way in.”
“Sure, sure,” Melody smirked and grabbed the key before shutting the door and jogging down the lane. Before she disappeared into the line of trees, she looked both ways and shaped her hands into a gun like an agent clearing a room.