by Kaia Knight
Kailani was lost in her thoughts as she tugged on her sneakers and walked outside. The sun was descending into the tree line, and she held up a hand to block the light. She glanced around the parking lot, spotting Gabriel’s truck still there, but he was nowhere in sight. Her stomach clenched. He’s probably with Chantall.
With a heavy sigh, she broke into a trot, following the rhythm that she had hammered her body into for the last few weeks. But she began to cough, doubling over as she wheezed and stumbled to a halt. Kailani’s eyes watered as she caught her breath. Squaring her shoulders, she braced herself to begin running again, but her legs did not respond. Kailani felt a tug of resistance in the back of her mind, holding fast in rebellion.
You know what? No more running. Today, I walk.
The miles passed by slowly, but a sensation of triumph settled over Kailani. Choosing to walk felt defiant somehow, as if delaying the inevitable late night of homework gave her the control she so desperately craved. Her mind wandered as the cloak of dusk crept in, the soft lights of porches and bedroom windows flickered on like beacons, guiding her home. Silhouettes of families huddled in front of the hazy, blue glow of televisions, weaving around kitchens, bustling as they set the table. A dull ache settled in Kailani’s chest as she walked alone.
Her stomach growled painfully as she walked down the winding lane of the Lilac Ranch and towards the inn. As she grappled with the lock on the door in the waning light, she jumped back with a yelp when her foot kicked something with a crunch on the doormat. Squinting and bending closer, she saw a delicately woven wicker basket folded over with linen cloth, and an envelope sticking out of the top with her name written in cursive.
Frowning, Kailani picked up the basket and opened the front door, using her hip to bump it shut as she headed towards her room. She stole a glance at Cristiano’s closed door, but no light peeked from underneath. He was spending the night out again, no surprise there.
She let her backpack slide off her shoulder onto the floor and set the basket on the bed. She carefully opened the envelope, where a small note was written in beautiful, curling script.
Kailani,
Gabriel told me you were ill, so I made my Nanna’s famous soup—she always said it could revive the dead, that’s as much warning as I can give you. But trust me, it works.
Feel better, dear—draw a nice hot bath and sip some sleepy tea, and you’ll be a new woman tomorrow. Good luck at your swim meet! I can’t wait to hear all about it.
Xo Josie
Smiling, Kailani sifted through the items tucked into the basket. There was a thermos, which she unscrewed and sniffed cautiously. She immediately sneezed and her eyes began to water. Oh. Wow. She was not kidding. She shook her head and eagerly moved on, tugging out a box of chamomile tea, homemade lozenges, and a package of lavender Epsom salts that she had seen on the Flockhart’s shelf for sale.
Gabriel told Josie I was sick? A warmth hummed inside her—a fuzzy, indefinable source of joy, pushing back the ache that grew as she had walked home alone.
Chapter 24
Gabriel
Gabriel knelt in the second-row seat of the school bus, his arm resting on the back of the duct-taped riddled seat. Real classy ride this year. Thank you, budget cuts.
As the swim team filed onto the bus, he checked each girl off the attendance sheet, reaching behind him to grab a package from a large cardboard box. “Samantha…size thirty…here’s your team suit!”
“Thanks, Coach!” she said before bounding towards the back of the bus.
Kailani boarded soon after with a shy smile, looking much better than the day before. He scanned the clipboard with his pen and scribbled a check next to her name. “Kailani, size twenty-eight.” He rummaged in the box, looking for the label.
“Wait, what?” Kailani asked sharply.
He found the correct size towards the bottom of the pile. “Ah, here you go!” he stood, turning to hand the plastic-wrapped swimsuit to her.
“No, I ordered a size thirty-two,” she said flatly, looking down at the label on the package. “There’s no way I can fit in this.”
Gabriel scratched the back of his head as he glanced down at the clipboard. “Uh…sorry, Kailani, it says twenty-eight here…we can do a re-order in time for the next meet. But for this weekend, you’ll just have to make do.”
“I wouldn’t have made that mistake on the order form!” Her hand reached out and tugged the clipboard from him, and Gabriel let go in surprise. “See? Look here. This is where I wrote thirty-two. Someone crossed it out, and purposely put a different number.” She looked around, her eyes narrowing at the girls around her.
“Kailani,” Chantall said in a soothing voice from the seat behind Gabriel, leaning in. “I’m sure this is just a misunderstanding, why don’t you go ahead and take a seat and we’ll get this all sorted out once we get moving?”
Kailani passed the clipboard back to Gabriel, not meeting his eyes as she wordlessly turned to take a seat towards the back of the bus.
Chantall looked at him, raising her eyebrows and mouthed ‘yikes’. Gabriel turned away, busying himself with the next swimmer, but he was distracted and went through the motions on autopilot.
The rest of the line went by quickly and the bus soon shuddered into motion. “Next stop, Oregon State!” one girl cried from the back of the bus, and a chorus of cheers responded.
Chantall stood, moving forward a row and sliding into Gabriel’s seat with a smile. With the large box wedged beside him at the window, he was forced in the middle of the seat, his leg pressed against hers.
“Uh, here, let me move this.” Gabriel grabbed the box, lifting it into the empty seat behind them. He scooted towards the window in relief, setting his backpack down as a buffer between them. Gabriel did not miss Chantall’s eyes flick down towards the backpack and the slight pucker of her mouth.
The bus ride passed quickly as the girls blasted music in the back, dancing and singing. Turning around, Gabriel scanned the seats. Kailani was laughing with Latisha, the other transfer student on scholarship. The knot in his chest loosened, and he settled back into his seat with a smile. The team’s energy was infectious, and Gabriel’s shoulders relaxed as he swayed to the music. Chantall chatted casually, and he found himself easily swapping memories from their college swimming days.
The evening had slipped away, a blur of logistics as Gabriel checked the team into the hotel and met with the swim meet officials. He stole glances at Kailani during the team dinner at a local restaurant, wishing he could sit next to her. But he was whisked off to a brewery to socialize with the other coaches as the team walked back to the hotel together.
As Gabriel caught up with the head coach of Oregon State, Chantall was a shadow at his elbow. Her flirtations grew bolder as her drink emptied, and he ignored her hints to walk back to the hotel together. He sat between her and his dad at the bar and breathed a sigh of a relief as she finally bid him goodnight with a pout.
A pang of guilt hit him as she retreated, and he took another sip of his beer, shaking the feeling. Gabriel stared at his drink as his dad continued to study the updated heat sheets and made predictions for race outcomes.
“Did you hear what Greg was going on about, that ‘this is their year’?” He shook his head and chuckled. “Just wait till they see Kailani.”
Gabriel just nodded, grappling with the heaviness that gnawed at him. The whole day had felt unusually heavy, a dark cloud casting an eerie, foreboding glow over the excitement of the swim meet. He glanced down at his watch and his breath seized in his throat as he stared at the date.
“Dad.” His realization interrupted Steve rattling off stats about qualifying times. “Do you know what today is?”
“Friday?” he grunted, still scanning the heat sheet.
“Yeah, Friday, September 21.”
“So?”
“Tomorrow… would have been Nathaniel’s birthday.”
Steve did not respond. Gabriel would have t
hought he was not listening, but his eyes were no longer roving the page in front of him, and the packet of paper trembled almost imperceptibly. As if realizing this, Steve rolled the pages up, standing to tuck them into his back pocket. He finished the last gulp of his drink, setting it on the counter with a sharp clink and nodded to the bartender.
He zipped his jacket up with a forceful yank, a clear indicator that the conversation was over. Without meeting Gabriel’s eyes, he said in a low voice. “Big day tomorrow. Keep your focus, okay?”
The breath left Gabriel’s body as if he had been whacked in the gut. He sat motionless for a moment before chugging the rest of his beer, flagging down the bartender for something stronger. The Friday night crowd waned as Gabriel sat in solitude, reveling in the burn that ripped down his throat with each sip of whisky that warmed the cold, barren feeling in his chest. It wasn’t until he stood that the room began to spin.
Gabriel ambled through the mist back to the hotel, the shrill symphony of crickets following. He passed through the sliding doors of the modern hotel lobby, cutting through the living room that was separated by a large stone wall with a fireplace. As he dodged one of the couches, he bumped up against a pair of feet.
“Oops, ‘scuse me,” he slurred, but did a double take as he recognized the figure on the couch. “Kai?” She was fast asleep, her arms wrapped around her bag at her stomach. His brows furrowed, and he leaned forward, shaking her gently as the room spun around him. “Kailani, wake up!”
She stirred, sitting up as she looked around in confusion.
“What’re you doing out here?”
Kailani sat up straighter, looking him up and down. “Have you been drinking?”
Gabriel nodded. “Yeah, I don’t usually have more than one, so I’m a little…” He made a hand gesture around his head.
Her lips pressed together, and the corners of her eyes crinkled. “I can tell.”
He pushed his shoulders back, focusing on sounding articulate. “You didn’t answer me. What are you doing here? They didn’t lock you out, did they?” There was no need to specify who they were.
“No, I’m the one who left. I honestly didn’t feel comfortable sleeping in the same bed as Alyssa. She hates my guts. I’d rather sleep in a snake den. But this couch’ll do just fine.” She settled back against the cushions, closing her eyes once again.
“You are not sleeping out here,” Gabriel said with as much authority as he could muster, but he could feel himself swaying in place. “Let’s go see if you can share Coach Chantall’s room.”
“Well, she walked by a while ago and didn’t seem to care that I was out here. Not sure I want to go snuggle up to her now.”
Gabriel dragged a hand across his stubble, trying to piece together the situation logically. “There’s a pull-out couch in my room. You can stay there.”
She looked around. “I don’t know…wouldn’t that be risky?”
“I’d rather you had a decent night of sleep, and not out here in the open…anyone could walk through those doors.” He nodded at the entrance nearby.
Kailani chewed her lip, not looking convinced. Finally, she stood. “Fine, I’ll go. But only because I’m not sure you can make it to your room in your state.” She grinned as she reached for his room key, setting down the long hallway after looking around to make sure the coast was clear. As Gabriel followed her, he pushed down the excitement that swelled inside his chest. A little voice said maybe this was a bad idea, but it was quiet, and he ignored it.
The door closed behind them, and Kailani stood in the entryway clutching her bag, as if unsure what to do next.
Gabriel nodded towards the bathroom. “I’m gonna rinse off so I don’t have to in the morning, but you can go ahead and sleep. You take the bed, and I’ll sleep on the pull-out.” He ignored her protests to take the bed as he slipped into the bathroom and turned the shower on. Stepping into the heat of the water, the power of the last pull of whiskey started to crawl through him, and his head grew fuzzier.
He imagined Kailani’s long, muscular legs stretched out on the white sheets of his bed in nothing more than a t-shirt and her underwear, and he tipped his head back into the water with a low groan. He reached down, gripping his length with long, slow strokes. He imagined tugging her shirt over her head, brushing her curls behind her shoulders, and kissing her in the hollow of her neck, working his way down her full breasts, trailing down her toned stomach as her back arched with desire, reaching for the lace of her underwear—No. This is wrong. Gabriel shook his head, dropping his hand and steadying himself against the wall. Get it together. You are her coach. He turned to face the stream of water, and with a deep breath, cranked the temperature to the coldest setting. Biting back a yell, he grabbed the shampoo and lathered in record time.
Stepping out of the bathroom wrapped in his towel, his teeth were still chattering as he walked into the main room, but his head felt clearer. That sure did the trick. He looked around, expecting to see Kailani on the bed, but instead, she was tugging at the sofa. She had changed into tight boy shorts and a loose t-shirt, bent over as she pulled the cushions away. Gabriel averted his eyes quickly.
“Why aren’t you in bed? I’ll take the sofa.”
“No! I told you, I’d feel bad. It’s fine.”
Gabriel reached down, grabbing the handle of the pull-out bed and the metal screeched as he pulled it out. As they unfolded the thin mattress over the metal foundation, they both looked at it in silence. The lumpy mattress was bare and covered with yellow stains.
“Ew.” Kailani shuddered and her nose crinkled.
“Uh, yeah…you are not sleeping there. That’s disgusting. You take the bed; I’ll take the floor.” Gabriel folded the sofa back up and covered it up with the cushions. He opened the closet door, the room still spinning as he concentrated on the task at hand. The shelves were bare. “No extra blankets, either.”
Kailani sighed. “Gabe, I can’t let you sleep on the floor in your own room. Let’s just share the bed, it’ll be fine. It’s super late, we need to get to sleep.”
“You’re right. You take that side?”
They carefully slipped under the covers on opposite sides of the bed, facing away from one another and hugging their respective edges. Gabriel was acutely aware of her presence and could feel every adjustment that moved the mattress.
Though he should be exhausted, his mind was singing and heart hammering as Kailani gave a soft sigh. He turned around to look at her; she was peeking over her shoulder with a smile. He laughed and rotated until he was facing her.
She smiled ruefully. “I guess we don’t need to be so dramatic about it, I’m about to fall off the bed here.”
He chuckled and reached for a pillow, shoving it between them. “There we go. A defined border. Better?”
She scooted closer, rolling onto her stomach. The dark waves of her hair were splayed out over her pillow, and he could just make out the soft lines of her lips from the moonlight spilling through the curtains. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath through her nose. “You smell amazing,” she murmured, her hand gently touching his damp hair, and rested her head on the pillow between them.
“Nope, not happening,” Gabriel chuckled darkly, tugging the pillow so her head fell onto the mattress below. He laid the pillow on top of her head and laughed as he heard her muffled noise of indignation. He pulled his side of the blankets away, rising to his knees and leaning over her. Reaching out, he began to tuck the blankets around her and grabbed her spare pillow, adding it to the barrier between them.
As she lifted her head out from under the pillow, blowing a strand of hair out of her face, arousal stirred within him once more. “Don’t tempt me, Kailani,” he said in a low, rough voice. “I’m already taking advantage of you, just by you being here.”
Kailani’s eyes widened, her lips parting, then she grinned. “Actually, Coach, since you’ve been drinking, I’d say I’m the one taking advantage of you.”
His
eyes locked on hers hungrily, and he wanted nothing more than to tear the sheets away and to feel the warmth of her body beneath his, gasping in pleasure. He bit down on his lip and collapsed back into his pillow with a groan and adjusted himself. “Kai…”
“Yeah, I know, we need to get some sleep. I’ll behave,” she said sheepishly. “Good night.”
“Good night. Sleep well.” He turned away from her, focusing on slowing the pounding of his heart, trying to think of anything besides the way that her muscles gave way to the soft curves of her hips.
He peeked at the clock on the bedside table and froze. 1:37 AM. The ache from earlier slammed back into him, and the waning hold of the whiskey could not numb the pain.
Happy Birthday, Nathaniel…Miss you every day.
Chapter 25
Kailani
Kailani stirred, blinking groggily. She shivered and tugged at the sheet that barely covered her waist, but it would not budge. She looked over her shoulder where Gabriel slept with his head half on her pillow. His expression looked troubled, his breath coming quickly as his legs twitched. Is he having a nightmare? Should I wake him up?
She wanted to run her hands along his smooth, tanned cheek interrupted only by the shadow of stubble on his jaw. Kailani glanced around and noticed the pillow wall he had carefully constructed between them was now strewn on the floor.
The warmth of his body radiated at her back, and Kailani shuddered as she pulled at the sheet once more, but it was tightly tucked behind him. She relaxed back onto the mattress, scooting closer to capture his heat. Gabriel murmured something in his sleep and slung a heavy arm across Kailani’s waist as he nuzzled into her. She froze, heart hammering in her chest as his warmth engulfed her.
She softened into his embrace and peeked at the alarm clock. 5:02 AM. I should get some more sleep. The alarm won’t go off for another fifteen minutes. Her stomach fluttered as he mumbled, and his arm tightened around her. Suddenly, Gabriel’s hips flexed and Kailani gasped, her eyes flying open as she felt his arousal pressing against her. She savored the sensation of his body curled against hers, and a heat that had nothing to do with body temperature coursed through her. She shifted as a deep restlessness overcame her. There’s no way I’m sleeping now.