I think about it for a minute, I don’t think I’ve ever wanted something that bad. I mean, yes, I’d like to know who my family are, why they left me, but would I do something insane for it, I don’t think so. And other than Monica, I don’t really have people – so the second part doesn’t really apply.
Sneaking a glance at Mason, he looks deep in thought, almost sad. I look away before he can catch me watching him and focus back on Mr. Perry, who is handing out copies of a selection of snipping’s from various literature. He’s still rambling, but I zone out, doodling on my notebook. That is until I hear Mason pipe up next to me. I turn to look at him and he’s leant back in his chair, looking as if he owns the room.
“My favorite book, Mr. Perry? Well that’s not a simple choice – the selection is too great,” Mason says with a smile. I can’t tell if he is serious or not.
“Well, Mr. Knight, if you are as versed as you say, maybe you can delight us all with a few lines from one of your favorites,” Mr. Perry challenges.
He’s stood at the front of the room, leaning back on his desk with his arms crossed. I have obviously missed something. Mason clears his throat before speaking.
“Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swaps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists... it is real... it is possible... it's yours." He speaks with such passion; the whole room is hanging on his every word. The bell rings drawing me out of my zombie like daze.
“From Ayn Rand’s, Atlas Shrugged – Very well, Mr. Knight,” he says, obviously impressed. “I expect you all to read your handouts before next class, we will be discussing them; and I will know if you didn’t read it properly,” he shouts as the class gathers their books.
Slinging my bag onto my shoulder, I move forward without looking up and walk straight into someone. I look up to see Mason looking down at me, his hands on my arms, keeping me upright. Oh, my God!
“Steady there, tiger. You don’t want to fall down on that pretty ass of yours.” He almost growls the words; his voice is so gravelly. I can’t place his accent, but he’s obviously not from around here.
I blush. “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going.”
“It’s fine, having you pushed up against me really isn’t a hardship.” He smirks and I feel the heat rise from my neck to my hairline. No one has ever spoken to me like this, and I’m not sure whether to say thank you or slap him, so I settle with blushing and running away. Real mature way of handling that, Erin! Super cool. I resist physically face-palming as I scurry to my locker, hiding my face in there, hoping to God that no-one else witnessed my epic fail.
“Well, if it isn’t the comeback kid.” Looking up, I see Mason leaning against the locker next to mine. He’s smiling at me again, and EVERYONE is looking. Kill me now.
“Awh, come on tiger, you can’t ignore me after you’ve already rejected me today already. My poor little ego couldn’t take it.”
“I doubt your ego is little; I’m pretty sure it can take a few hits,” I blurt out before going wide-eyed. Stuffing my books into my bag, I scramble to get away from him before I say anything else. Tucking tail, I turn with the intention of sprinting towards the main exit, and away from school. I make it as far as the front steps, of course I’m not home free, why would that ever possibly happen to me? I come face to face with the hit squad. Delightful.
“Well, well, well,” Tegan snarls. “Looks like little, orphan Annie made a friend. Tell me, how did someone like you end up friends with someone like him?”
“He is not my friend,” I deny. “We sit together in lesson: we talk. That’s all of it.”
“It better be. We wouldn’t want you ruining his life, too. You’ve done enough of that.”
Her little band of followers’ nod like the bobble heads they are. I take a deep breath, pull my bag strap up and walk away from them. Two, maybe four, steps away, I feel the impact of ice cold and wet. I reach up to the back of my head to the chorus of giggles coming from behind me. Blue slushie; it’s in my hair and dripping down my neck; down the back of my leather jacket.
“Are you serious?” a voice shouts from behind me. “Stupid, fucking girls,” he growls. I turn and see Mason striding towards me, taking off his t-shirt. He looks down at me before dabbing the back of my head with the soft cotton, soaking up some of the ice-cold drink.
“Are you okay?” he asks gently.
I nod slowly, still in shock from the slushie shower. The fact he’s standing half-naked in front of me, looking like some sort of chiseled marble statue of a god! He’s all lean muscle, and possibly, the walking definition of washboard abs. I catch a peak of the ink on his back and chest, it just makes him seem like… more. These might be the reason for some of my lack of words… might. His t-shirts showed that he was ripped, but this, this is something different all together.
“Th-thank you. I’ll be good, you didn’t have to do that, but thank you,” I manage to say, trying not to stare.
“Eyes up here, tiger,” He chuckles and I blush again. I see the hit squad looking at us in shock. Evan is stood there, laughing into Tegan’s hair and I feel tears sting my eyes.
“Sorry,” I mutter, looking down at my shoes. He reaches under my chin with his forefinger, bringing my eyes back up to his.
“Don’t hide from me, there’s no need,” he says quietly.
Tires screech and there is loud, obnoxious music, and even louder shouting. I turn to see a low riding, old blue Camaro, rusted in spots but nothing major, filled with 3 guys who all look a little rough around the edges.
“Mason! Come on man, put your fucking clothes on, bro!” One voice yells. The rest laugh at him.
“Shut your face Rico,” Mason yells back.
“Oooooo, Mason’s got a girlfriend.” Another laughs, making kissy noises.
I roll my eyes and clear my throat catching Masons attention. “So, I’m just going to go. Thanks again.”
“No sweat. Anytime. Have a good night, tiger,” he says with a smile.
“My name’s Erin,” I say, trying to hold in my frustration at being called tiger.
“Oh, I know, tiger.” He smirks and pulls on his wet, now slightly blue spotted t-shirt before heading to his friends in the car.
This year is going to be different, that’s for sure.
Chapter Three
“Friendship is certainly the finest balm
for the pangs of disappointed love.”
~ Jane Austen
“Are you shitting me Erin? They did that and you did nothing. I swear to god, one day, that bitch is gone to have that smug smile wiped off her face. I hope to hell I’m there to witness it!” Charli shouts at me through my computer screen. She is pretty much the best friend I will ever have. She used to live next door, the side that isn’t Evan, I mean. We used to be thick as thieves, until her dad got a job in New Zealand and her family moved away. Now we have weekly Skype dates on a Saturday, I get up at stupid o’clock so we can talk with the stupid time difference and yes, cupcakes are mandatory.
“There is absolutely nothing I can do to stop her making my life hell. I don’t know why she hates me so much, but she does. I just try to stay out of her way.” I shrug, taking another giant bite of my red velvet cupcake. Mmmmm.
“For god’s sake, Erin! Get angry! Get even. Just something! You can’t just let this crap keep going.”
“Can we please just drop it? I told you, this week has been exceptionally different from my normal life. Normally, I can slink in to the shadows and stay off her radar.”
“Oh yeah, the new guy. What was his name again?”
“Mason. Mason Knight.”
“Oh my god, Erin you’re blushing! Why are you blushing? What didn’t you tell me? Is he hot? Is he into you? Are you into him?”
“Jeez Charli, calm your
tits; he’s just a guy, but yeah, I guess he’s hot.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you blush before. Does this mean you’re finally over Evan ‘the dud’ Walker?” She squeals, clapping her hands. Her short, red hair fans as she bounces excitedly.
“Stop it, Charli. Evan is nice, you just don’t know him like I do.”
“What I know, babe, is, he’s nice to you when everyone else is gone; That does not make him nice, that makes him a jerk. If he was really a nice guy, he would have stopped Tegan, rather than laugh at you!”
“She’s his girlfriend, Charli,” I whine. “Of course, he’s going to take her side. I know you don’t get it, but just stop. Please.”
“He took your virginity, Erin! He creeped over to you all upset, he used you, then skulked back to that bitch the next day! He isn’t a good person, and I really wish you’d see this.”
“Stop it. I don’t want to fight with you about this – again.”
“Fine. I never really understood your crush on him. You’re so different; he stifles you. You need someone who will let you discover who you are. What you need is your very own Mr. Darcy.”
I roll my eyes at her. “As much as I wish Mr. Darcy existed, I have a feeling that if I hold out hope for him, I’m going to be severely disappointed.”
“Don’t you speak such blasphemy of Mr. Darcy! You’ll hurt his feelings!"
“Yes, ma’am,” I giggle
“Don’t you ma’am me,” she yawns. “Now, then twinkle toes, I need to crap some shut eye; One a.m. here already. I need some beauty sleep.”
“Hardly, but yeah, I suppose I better get up; cupcakes for breakfast aren’t exactly the healthiest start to my day."
“No, but they’re the best start! Night, sweet cheeks.”
“Night, Crazy,” I say before shutting my laptop and flopping back on my pillows and sighing. I miss her every single day, but I get why she can’t come home. Her parents are amazing, but she gets her crazy from them, for sure. Her dad was in the military before he went into private security. I have no idea what he actually does, but needless to say, he’s protective of his only daughter, so she doesn’t get to just fly over here, and it’s not like I could ever fly there.
One day.
A knock on my window startles me from my daydreaming. I look up and see Evan perched on the tree branches outside of my window. I sigh before pulling off my covers and going to open the window for him. This isn’t something new, but it’s been a while since he came to see me this way, and I’m still sore at him for the slushie shower. He might not have been the one to do it, but he didn’t stop it either, and that makes him as bad as they are. I’m not quite ready to forgive him yet, but I know I’ll forgive him eventually; I always do.
He has the decency to look sheepish as he climbs in my window. I climb on top of my bed – glad my pj’s and knee high socks cover me. He rubs the back of his neck and grins shyly at me.
“Get on with it, Evan. I don’t have all day for you to say you’re sorry for Tegan. Again.”
“I really am sorry though, Erin. I didn’t know what she had planned. I don’t understand girls. What she did wasn’t cool.”
“If you were really that sorry, Evan, you wouldn’t have stood there and laughed at me along with everyone else; a real friend would have told them all to shut the fuck up, and would have helped me. You know, like Mason did. He hardly knows me and he did that, but you, who has known me my entire life, just stood by and watched. What she did wasn’t cool, but neither were you.”
“I’m sorry, Erin. I don’t know what else I can say,” he pleads and I sigh, losing hope.
“Sometimes, Evan. It’s more about what you do than what you say. If you’re really sorry, next time someone decides to slushie me, maybe stop it? Or at least help me out, you know, in public. Not just apologizing to me in my bedroom.”
“I’ll do better. You’re my friend, and I’ll speak to Tegan. I don’t know why she has such an issue with you.”
“You are why she has an issue with me, dofus. She doesn’t like that we’re friends; even if you do barely speak to me.”
“So, we’re still friends?”
“Of course we are, dummy. Just be a better friend, okay?”
“A better friend than Mason Knight? I don’t know what it is you see in him anyway; he’s so different from you – from all of us really. I mean, do you really believe that whole, mysterious, bad-boy vibe he’s laying out?”
“I hardly know the guy. He speaks to me in class and that’s about as far as it goes – other than him helping me when I’m being humiliated in the quad, of course.”
“I already said I was sorry,” he groans. “But he still seems pretty friendly with you. Do you know much about him? He doesn’t seem like such a good guy. Not from what I’ve heard anyway.”
“Is that really why you came over here? To ask me about the new guy? You’re not even sorry at all, are you?” I seethe.
“You know that’s not true! You’re one of my oldest and closest friends. You know stuff about me no-one else does. Getting dirt on the new guy is just a bonus.”
“Get out, Evan. Right. Now.” I’ve had enough of this already and I’ve not even had breakfast yet.
“Fine, I’m going. Just remember what I said.”
“Out!”
Chapter Four
“We are all broken.
That’s how the light gets in.”
~ Ernest Hemmingway
Today is going to be a better day. It has to be. I refuse to keep playing this game of hide and seek with Evan; like we’ve done for the past two weeks. Every time he looks at me, he does it with these big, sad, puppy eyes and my will power only has so much hold and sway over me. I’m a pushover when it comes to him, and I know it. So does he. Dodging Mason at the same time hasn’t made life any easier, especially considering I’m his table buddy in almost every class, but I have long been a master of the avoiding people thing. Monica keeps telling me I need to be more open to new people, and to new things; do stuff for myself. And who gives a flying fuck what anyone else thinks. She actually said, ‘flying fuck’. I thought I was going to die of dehydration from the tears of laughter.
So today, part of my new plan of do more for me, is signing up to be a tutor. I know, I know. Totally sounds like more of doing stuff for other people, but I love to teach, and so really, it’s kind of selfish. Plus, this way, I actually get to interact with people without the fear of Tegan and her cronies swooping in; they wouldn’t be caught dead in the library.
“Ah, Erin,” Mrs. Appleby, our librarian, greets me at the main desk. “Monica said you might stop by to see me soon. I’m glad you decided to join up for the program. What are you looking to help with?”
“I don’t know. I was thinking English and History? They tend to be my best classes, but I can help with Math, Calculus and Trig – and Chemistry, if it’s needed, too?”
“Thank you so much, dear! I have a feeling you’re going to be very busy. I hope you don’t mind that!” she asks with a worried look on her face
“Of course not,” I smile at her reassuringly.
“Brilliant. We’re running a bit low on volunteers this year, but it all counts towards your college applications, you know,” she says with so much pep, I almost gag.
“Of course, Mrs. Appleby.” I fill in the form with my cell and email details. “If anyone wants help, I’m happy for them to contact me directly if it’s easier for you.”
“Splendid! We’ll get you registered today. Thank you so much.”
“Any time. I’m just going to go get some cramming in for my first paper. Yell if you need me.”
“We don’t yell in here, dearie. It’s a library.” I go to tell her it’s just a saying, but decide against it. Mrs. Appleby has worked here longer than I care to think. Her white hair is always styled short and curled, she reminds me of a typical grandma you’d see on T.V. It’s kind of adorable, but damn, she can be as scary as a dragon if
you piss her off.
I make my way to the back corner of the library, where I can work in peace. Gathering the books, I need to make a start on my history paper, I put my headphones in and get to work. I manage to work for about fifteen minutes before my cell starts pinging.
Unknown: So, you’ll be my history tutor, right?
Me: Sorry, who is this? But yes, I’ve signed up to tutor history.
Unknown: Awesome. Well, Mrs. Appleby pointed me in your direction. See you in a sec.
What the?
Maybe I shouldn’t have just randomly given out my cell after all. I wait a few minutes, trying to keep working on my paper, but my anxiety is getting the better of me. That’s when I see Mason.
“Can’t avoid me anymore, tiger.” Mason smirks at me and I drop my head to the table.
“Seriously? This is meant to be a serious tutoring gig. Do you even need help?” I groan.
“No need to sound so excited, sweetheart. But yes, I really do need help. And if you’re even half as good as Mrs. Appleby made out, then I seriously need your help.” He drops into the chair opposite me, and stares me down.
God, I can smell him from here and lordy! There has to be something wrong with him, right? He can’t be this super nice, super hot, beautiful smelling man, right? God, I hope not.
“Fine, if you actually need help, I will help. Where should we start?”
“You tell me, teach!” he smirks at me again, flashing those pearly whites.
Focus Erin.
We spend the next hour going through everything he’s studied before, I don’t know where he went to school last, but apparently, they didn’t really do much in the way of teaching History. I help him create a list of points to start his paper, and give him the chapters he’ll need to read in order to catch up. That’s all before he actually starts writing it.
“You have my number, so if you need any help, just text me. Please don’t call. I won’t answer. I hate talking on the phone.”
“Sure thing. And thank you. I know you don’t really know me, and you didn’t have to agree to help me, but I really need to do well this year and graduate.”
When We Fall Page 2