by Sue Allerton
“I want to take you out for dinner, have you eaten? I’m starved” she said with a small grin, wiping her nose one more time. He smiled slightly and said that everywhere will be closed. She shook her head and asked him to follow her. He did without hesitation. She led him into the city, they were walking for an hour and had worked up quite an appetite. She led him to a hot dog, burger and pizza bar. They each had one of the biggest hotdogs Axel had ever seen. With covered in chili and cheese. They ate in silence, only stopping to laugh at each other spilling chili down their chin. Elise felt cheesy, not as in because the hot dog had so much cheese, but because this is how you see those lovey couples in movies that make her want to throw up. She decided to ease the cheesiness.
“You eat like a baby, such small bites for such a big mouth” she mocked and his eyes widened in shock, he squared his shoulders and opened his mouth as wide as he could before shoving a whole lot of hotdog in there. Elise laughed, which made Axel laugh with a mouth full of food, he spat half of it out so he could breathe. Her attempt to make it less lovey had failed. For the first time in years, she was having fun. Genuine human fun.
The longer she sat there with him, the guiltier she felt. She had never felt guilty before and it was an alien emotion to her. But sitting there with such a kind and decent man, she felt as if a ton of bricks was pressing down on her chest with every breath. She tried to push it aside. She laughed and made jokes with the man who didn’t even really know her. He didn’t know how cruel she could be; he didn’t know all the bad things she had done. The one thing she did know, was as soon as he found out, he wouldn’t want a damn thing to do with her.
Once they were both stuffed they said goodbye outside as they both needed to go in different directions. They hugged, she was overcome with how comfy he was. They soon parted and walked in opposite directions. Both wearing huge smiles spread across their faces.
***
Chapter 3
Axel’s best friend went over to his place after class the following day. Axel was late again, only by five minutes this time when a few others were still arriving. Connor was pissed off because the girl he had been dating had broken up with him not long after he met her parents. Apparently her father was all too pleased to meet him and her plan of rebellion had backfired. He took his frustration out on the Xbox as they played a car racing game. Connor’s anger made Axel nervous, he had a tendency to throw things when he was mad and he didn’t want his TV or his Xbox to get damaged. The only luxury’s he ever bought for himself. Connor was on his fifth beer, at two in the afternoon he may have been taking this whole break up thing a bit far. The two had only been together for a few weeks.
“I mean, she’s such a bitch! She used me, hell I sound like a woman, is this how women feel? Damn” he muttered, mostly to himself.
“What’s going on with you anyway, man?” he asked in the end after a long mumbling, drunken rant about his now ex.
“Nothing much” Axel answered, he didn’t want to mention Elise when Connor was going through his own woman troubles.
“Realized you’re swinging the other way yet?” he winked, well, attempted to wink.
“Not exactly” Axel answered, still not wanting to let him know about Elise.
“Come on, Bro, tell me what’s going on?” he begged and Axel sighed in surrender.
“Like I said, it’s nothing really, I met this girl, she seems really nice, but completely wrong for me at the same time” he replied frowning, as much as he liked the girl, he couldn’t escape this nagging feeling that all she ever brought was trouble. He had been late for class twice because he was out late with her and the that morning he had managed to sneak in behind a crowd of ten people, he didn’t think Golvin noticed but given his coldness toward him at the end of the class told him he hadn’t been fooled.
“The ones that seem all wrong usually are, call it off dude” Connor shrugged dismissively. As much as Axel knew that’s what he had to do, when he thought about telling her, he felt like he was being suffocated. Why this girl? Why was he finding it so hard to forget about her? He never had any problems with other girls before when they made advances. Just then his phone buzzed. ‘Do you want to do something?” the text read, it was from Elise, but he already knew that. He fired a quick text back. “Sure, but during the day? I have class in the morning and can’t be late’ he put the phone down and almost as soon as he had, the phone buzzed again; ‘Awesome, meet me at the park on the East side in twenty?’ he typed ‘see you soon’ and got to his feet.
“Right dude, as awesome as this has been seeing you wallowing in self-pity, I have to get to work” he wasn’t sure why he lied to Connor and he instantly regretted it. He had never lied before in his life and lying to his best friend made his body ripple with guilt. Still, he couldn’t take it back and as his friend stood up shakily to leave, he turned and hugged him tight. He told him how much of a good friend he is, Axel was used to this, it was Connor’s truly drunk state where he just wants to tell everyone how amazing they are. This made the guilt even worse and he just wanted him to leave. He leant against the door once it had been closed and cursed himself. He tried to compose himself but found himself not wanting to go. This girl had made him late for class and now he was lying to his best friend. He decided it was time to call it a day. He thought about texting her, that was a coward’s option. He threw a jacket on and walked through the bitter wind toward the park.
The wind was so forceful he struggled to keep his balance. The swings were flying high and the gate clanged as it bounced off its frame. Elise was perched on one of the swings, her fiery hair in disarray, yet she didn’t look cold. She wore the same thin leather jacket she had done since he met her, jeans and those same boots. He walked up to her and she turned to face him. She smiled brightly at him and bounded over like a puppy. He smiled back, he didn’t want to, he couldn’t resist himself. He thought she was beautiful. Not that he had told her that, he was far too shy. She threw her arms around his waist and he hugged her back.
“Bit nippy eh?” he said loudly trying to make himself heard over the bellowing wind. She laughed and said something he didn’t hear. She leant in close to his ear and whispered “Want to go somewhere warmer?” he didn’t know what to say. They hadn’t even held hands, what did she mean? He didn’t answer for a while and she laughed again and said she was joking, maybe that was a recovery to save herself the embarrassment of being rejected.
He couldn’t talk to her properly here. They walked to a coffee shop around the corner, she ordered a decedent hot chocolate with marshmallows and whipped cream and he had just a regular coffee.
“You look like you want to tell me something?” she asked as she took a sip of creamy chocolate.
“Uh…yeah, I umm…well, what are we?” he stuttered, not being able to find the words. Neither of them had held hands or kissed or anything that showed the other was interested in anything more than friendship. He felt stupid at this point, she probably didn’t even like him in that way and just thought of him as a friend.
“Well I was under the impression we were kind of, ya know, dating? I guess?” she giggled nervously, relief washed over him knowing he wasn’t the only one who thought they were becoming more than just friends.
“Yeah, I kind of thought so too” he answered, her eyes lit up and she grinned, cupping her mug in her hands and taking a deep inhale of the steam rising from the cup.
“So…what did you want to tell me?” she asked again, she wasn’t stupid, she knew there was something wrong and he thought it unfair of him to keep on the way he was.
“I don’t want to date, don’t think it’s because of you, it’s not, just at the moment I have to study and work and I don’t really want any distractions” he explains to her. She looks down at the table the whole time and doesn’t really show any kind of emotion. Maybe she didn’t like him as much as he thought. She lifted her head and smiled at him.
“That’s fine, I understand” was all she s
aid before turning around to beckon the waitress over. She asked for the bill and paid for the both of them, even though he had already said he would get the drinks.
“Are you leaving?” he asked, surprised by how much he didn’t want her to go. They may not date but they could still be friends surely?
“Yeah, don’t take it personally, I like you, I do. But this is probably for the best that you don’t have anything to do with me” she answers before shrugging into her coat and walking away, not giving him a chance to answer. As she left, he noticed the waitress smile at him and waive, he rolled his eyes and left. The rest of the day he studied, wrote an extra credit paper on Zeus and his brothers and went to work. That was the routine he had gotten into for the first couple of years through university. When he got home, he looked around his small apartment. The walls were white and the furniture was all black. The mattress lying in the corner of the room with black bedding and the black leather sofa a few feet away sat in front of the small TV. The kitchen was toward the entry way, it had black counters and white cupboards. It was a nice, modern apartment, but stood there in that moment; he was bored with it. He wanted colour in his life. He wanted fun and excitement, it’s never been something that he craved; now that he can’t have it, he’s told the only excitement in his life that he doesn’t want her. He found himself craving it unconditionally. He sighed heavily and let himself fall on the mattress fully dressed.
***
She got what she wanted. He said he didn’t want her. It hurt her a lot more than she cared to admit. She hadn’t been hurt in a long time, feeling it again was unwelcome. Still, she blamed herself for allowing herself to get hurt. She didn’t blame him; she knew he was doing it for all the right reasons. She was messing up his life and he knew that as much as she did. She was going to call it a day, but when she saw him she lost her nerve. She groaned loudly as she slammed the door to her house.
“Miss Hader, you look sad, would you like me to run you a bath?” her maid, Tonya asked with a sincere frown of concern. Elise nodded once and headed into the kitchen, her boots scuffling against the floor as she walked. Her house was huge. She had marble floors throughout the whole thing, the kitchen counters sparkled in the light and everything was light and airy. It wasn’t necessarily her taste; it was her mother’s house. Of course nobody knew she was here, she wouldn’t be welcome.
She decided she wanted some entertainment. She went downstairs into the basement. It was dark, the way she liked it. She heard hushed scuffling in one of the end rooms. She stopped in front of the large window looking into the room and grinned devilishly.
“Who wants to play today?” she asked softly, to her pleasure none of them jumped to volunteer. She asked again, one of them cried out and urinated on the stone floor.
“Really? Nobody wants to play? But the winner gets such a good prize this time!” she exclaimed, they whimpered in the back of the room.
“Okay I’ll tell you, the winner, gets to go free” she said kindly, they all stopped. They fell silent, she had never offered this before. She thought it might make the competition a little more, interesting. “So? Who wants to go free?” she asked and they all leapt forward, banging on the glass crying they wanted to go free. She laughed venomously. “Okay, since you’re all so eager to go free, how about you all play today?” the room fell quiet again as they looked to each other, confused. She clapped her hands and the door to the side of the room opened. They hesitantly made their way through as she followed the hall down into a large room with a metal fence between the seats and the ‘stage’. Really it was just a large black pit. There were twenty people in the pit. Men and women, of all ages. She watched as they made their way to the edges of the pit. They all stood, naked and whimpering around the outside of the pit, awaiting the bell. She pressed a button to her right and a loud buzzer rang clear. They all launched at each other. After the first round, anyone left standing would continue to fight. As she watched the first two go down, she thought about limiting her searches to that of younger people. The elders simply went down far too easy. Her heart raced in her chest as she watched them scrap amongst themselves. One of them in particular caught her eye. A young girl, about the same age as Axel. She was strong with short blonde hair and brown eyes. She seemed fearless. She willed for this girl to win. The bell rang and the unconscious and dead were dragged from the ring and put back into their cell. Only five left, they eyed each other hungrily. They all had something to fight for, something to lose. The bell rang, they launched again. The girl with the short blonde hair landed the first punch, broke a man’s jaw. He yelped and fell to the ground, spitting blood. She punched and kicked and bit at her opponents. Elise’s fingers curled around her arm rests and she leant forward in her seat, biting her lip in anticipation. She had never been so excited by a match before. With only two people standing, the girl with blonde hair was one of them. She was facing the biggest guy Elise had. She crouched low and defensively, he kicked out and she grabbed his foot, pushing him flat on his back. She straddled him and punched him in the face over and over and over. She cried. Tears streamed down her face and she screamed in anguish. She had killed others before, but never had the stakes been so high. Elise clapped loudly and the bodies were dragged into the room. A metal gate opened and the girl dropped to her knees, sobbing. Elise crouched down in front of the girl and lifted her head with one finger hooked under her chin. The girl looked at her, but it was as if she was looking straight through her. Elise had broken this girl. She was a hollow shell of the person she once was.
“Well done, you’ve won” Elise whispered to the girl, she sobbed again.
“Thank you” she muttered between breaths.
“I wouldn’t thank me yet” she answered, smirking. The girl’s head shot up with a look of betrayal.
“Oh no don’t think like that, you’re still going to be free. But you’ll have to live with what happened here. You’ll have to live with what you did. You’ve killed people. Your heart is blackened and you’ll never be the same again” she whispered with a wolf grin. The girl said nothing. She stood when Elise beckoned her to do so. She took one last look at the people behind the glass as she walked out with her kidnapper. She was clothed and bathed. She was drugged with the water she was offered. She passed out and was dropped off outside her parent’s house, where she was taken from when she was just twelve years old.
Elise decided she wanted to go for a ride. She took out her black Kawasaki motorcycle. She leant low over the large tank and the engine roared to life. Just as she was about to set off her phone buzzed in her pocket. Axel, asking her to go over to his place. She wanted to cut him out. She wanted so bad to leave him alone. She ignored the text. She took her helmet off, then she went for a ride.
***
Chapter 4
Axel had been attending class on time for the past few weeks. Golvin was impressed with his work and was please that he seemed to have sort himself out. Even though he hadn’t heard anything back from Elise, he could almost still feel she was watching him. He didn’t know if that was just because he wanted her to be watching him or because she really was. Either way he never saw her and he became less and less convinced she was around by the day.
That morning the paper had come, it was splashed across the papers, the girl who went missing when she was a child had come back. Found doped up on the front porch of her parents’ house. They appeared on the morning news. Her parents crying tears of joy and doting on her, asking if she was okay every few seconds. He wondered if she felt suffocated. It was all anyone could talk about, it led their professor to take an interesting turn for his next class. Rather than discussing Greek mythology, he turned their attention to famous kidnappers and psychological trauma on the victims. Axel was engrossed in the class and wanted to know more, maybe he would also take Psychology? He thought against it, he’s already in enough debt as it is. He looked around at the bored faces. What was wrong with these people? He looked around, disgusted as
they all stared at their phones and laptops, not really interested in what they’re paying for. If they weren’t interested in history why would they want to do the course? He found himself shaking his head to himself. The seat beside him had been empty for weeks, he wondered if Elise had just forged a note to say she was a transfer student just so she could be near to him. But would someone go so far? She did say she didn’t like Greek mythology, maybe that’s why she hadn’t been in class? He scolded himself for thinking of her so much.
Weeks later the grounds of the university were packed. The old buildings swarming with people, reporter vans and TV crews. He tried to push his way through the crowd but it was like a wall of bodies. He sighed, he knew he wasn’t getting to class on time today. A big black SUV turned up and out stepped a tall blonde haired girl he recognised as Molly Radway. She was the girl who was kidnapped and mysteriously taken back. Why was she here? He shrugged and went to his class, as soon as everyone saw who it was, some of them dispersed disappointed it wasn’t someone famous and the other half wanted to tell her how much they admired her. Axel thought nothing of it for the rest of the day, until she turned up to his class. The whole room fell deadly silent as she made her way to the front of the class. Golvin didn’t dare touch her but showed her to where she could sit, the only chair available, was the one beside Axel. She sat down timidly and scooted over slightly so she didn’t even brush up against him. He felt a little defensive at first, then realised she probably doesn’t like to be touched. He didn’t know what she went through, she hadn’t spoke about it to anyone as far as the media knew. He didn’t personally think her parents cared as long as she was home safe and sound. Her father was on the board at the university and he thought maybe he had bribed someone to let her in. But that was just a theory. Molly rustled through her bag, brand new, designer. She dug a pen and a notebook from the bag and she let it slip to the floor between her feet. She looked so uncomfortable. In that moment he felt nothing but sympathy for the girl. He tried to imagine what kind of things she had gone through, but he could only imagine the worst. He saw how thin she was, she reminded him of his mum in that sense. He leant over to her slightly, but not too much.