“You can’t carry every burden, and you needn’t worry about every outcome. Let the good Lord do that.”
Erin nodded but didn’t answer. She heard a rustling in the corner and turned to tend to Joshua. When the cell phone in her lab coat rang, she let out a squeak.
She checked the caller ID display and saw the number she’d programmed in the night before from Travis’s business card. Child Welfare—Williams. Pressing one hand to the counter to still her shaking, she answered her smart phone and raised it to her ear.
Seven
Derrick glanced up to see Tara walking toward the yacht.
His first instinct was to scream at her. How dare she show up here? This was his domain. He’d earned the boat—fair and square. Five years of marriage had tested his patience to the limit. Then she’d tried playing the baby card, as if that child could possibly be his.
He had to admit she knew how to dress though. In white pants, a navy top and that hat she looked as if she could have stepped off the cover of a boating magazine. The old codger on the boat next to his was certainly giving her a slow once-over.
“Derrick.”
“Why are you here, Tara?”
“I wanted to talk to you… about the other night.”
“There’s nothing to talk about. I don’t even remember the other night.” He pulled down his ball cap against the noonday sun.
She stood next to the boat, as if she was uncertain whether she should board or not. “So you don’t know what I’ve done.”
“I don’t care what you’ve done.”
Usually Tara was the type to beg and plead. There was something different about her today though. Some of the girl he’d first been attracted to was back. He dropped the rag he’d been using to polish the boat.
“Why don’t you come onboard? We’ll take her out. It’s been a while, huh?”
Tara glanced left and right, catching the eye of the old codger. Then she nodded once and stepped onto the boat.
Eight
Erin tried to match Doc’s enthusiasm as she walked him to his truck. Tried and failed. He was acting like a first time grandfather, when she knew for a fact he had five lovely granddaughters. Then it struck her. Did he think of Joshua as his first grandson?
The idea left her frozen halfway between the porch and his Ford F-150. Doc turned around and stared back at her when he reached his truck.
“Something wrong?” He tipped his Stetson so he could see her better against the glare of the midmorning sun.
“No. Not at all.”
“Might as well fess up, girl.” When he opened the door of the brand new truck, the smell of leather wafted out and spurred her feet forward.
“I can’t believe Evelyn let you buy a new truck.”
Doc’s eyes twinkled nearly as brightly as the metallic grey paint. “Now, Evelyn and I understand each other after thirty-five years of marriage. I go along with those two-week vacations she insists on booking every year, and she doesn’t fuss when an old man wants a new toy.”
Erin shook her head. She didn’t need to admit the smell of leather made her dizzy and more than a little envious. A new car had been in her budget for three years down the road, but that had been before she’d rescued Joshua.
Joshua changed everything.
She glanced down at the baby in her arms as she stood near Doc’s driver’s side door.
“We’ll help, you know.” As usual, Doc seemed able to read her thoughts. “Evelyn called the church ladies this morning. They’re talking about putting together a baby shower. She’ll be in touch this afternoon.”
Erin ran the fingers of one hand through her hair. She’d haphazardly pulled it away from her face with a headband, but already she could feel her curls escaping.
“I couldn’t let them do that. Not after—”
She stepped back as Doc climbed into the truck, his laughter piercing the morning. “You ever try to stop Evelyn when she sets her mind?”
He started the truck, rolled down the power window, then closed the door. “Let folks help. It’s what they want to do. There might be a lot of things you can do alone, but raising a child isn’t one of them. At least it shouldn’t be.”
Erin stood back as he turned the big truck around, then made his way down her lane. He was right about her needing help. She knew that. Didn’t make accepting it any easier.
She glanced at her watch as she trudged toward the barns. Two hours until she needed to be in Williams’s office. He’d asked if she needed more time, but she’d been anxious to get this part over with. Once the papers were signed, once the foster portion was official, at least she’d have three months to prove her case.
Hurrying toward the pig pens, she groaned when she realized she couldn’t wear the clothes she had on into the Child Welfare office.
Her anger rose as she replayed the conversation in her mind. Williams had been arrogant enough to ask if she had a safety seat for Joshua, even though she’d plainly told him last night that she did. As if she’d put the child in a car without a baby carrier.
It had been the first thing Doc had brought her.
Doc had been in her life as long as she could remember. What would she have done without her foster parents’ oldest friend?
She’d certainly needed his help these last two days. No doubt she would in the future as well. She remembered Doc’s warning about a baby shower and stuck her tongue out as she walked into the darkness of the barn. Depending on Doc and Evelyn was one thing, allowing the entire community to help her was different.
But how else would she be able to afford the stuff she needed to become an instant mother? She could tap her savings, but she’d sworn to only touch the small nest egg for an emergency. What if she spent it on clothes and furniture for Joshua and he became ill? What if she needed to retain legal counsel?
She set Joshua down in a cleaned-out trough lined with a baby pad and blankets—more emergency gifts from Evelyn. As the questions piled up in her mind, she stabbed the pitchfork into the pigs’ soiled hay. Unfortunately, the hard work didn’t bring her any solutions.
Normally, she would have called her sister, but Dana was on her honeymoon in the Caribbean. After all she’d been through, Erin didn’t want to interrupt the rest her sister sorely needed. If she did call, Dana would cut the vacation short and fly back tonight. No, she’d e-mail instead. She would sound less emotional in an e-mail. And she’d call the minute they landed back in the US.
Joshua sucked on his fist as she cleaned out the dirty stall in the pig pen. He was a good baby. The important thing was she had been allowed to keep him for the next ninety days.
The other questions she’d have to put off until they needed answering. She’d focus first on making it to the Child Welfare office in time, signing the papers, receiving the court’s approval, and hopefully nudging the lanky social worker out of her life.
In high school, she and Dana would have fallen into fits over him—plopped him right into the tall, blond, and handsome category. Erin was no longer that naïve, teenage girl though. She had repeatedly seen the havoc those sorts of men could wreak on households—pets, women, and children. She didn’t consider herself a man hater, but she didn’t need one around either. Seemed to her like the good ones, the ones like Doc, were rare.
Muck out the hay, change clothes, drive to the office. Good-bye tall, blond, and handsome. Then she could worry about how to gather up all the supplies an eight-week-old baby needed.
She cleaned and stored her tools, then picked up Joshua and walked out into the warm September sunshine.
One thing at a time, and the first thing definitely involved kicking off her boots caked in manure.
Though it might be fun to wear them into Travis Williams’ fancy office—a nice little good-bye gesture.
—
In the end, she decided to wear a paisley skirt that reached well past her knees, a plain ivory cotton blouse worn on the outside, and a wide western belt she buckled ove
r the entire outfit. Of course, she wore boots. She always wore boots. But she did trade her work boots for the clean ones at the back of her closet.
Basically, she threw on what she wore to every city council meeting she was forced to endure. Would it be that different to stand before a judge?
She had eyed the dress in the back of her closet, but only for a minute. With a fitted bodice, long sleeves that ended in lace cuffs, and a skirt that stopped above her knees and fit tighter than her leather work gloves, the emerald green number would have to wait. She was not aiming to impress Travis Williams. Well, she was, but a dress wouldn’t accomplish what her mouth and temper had a good chance of destroying.
The drive into town was short and uneventful. As she unsnapped Joshua from his car seat, she thought back over the Internet research she had done. Babies were to sit in the back seat—it was a good thing she had an extended cab. The truck might be old, but it would do for their purposes. She licked her thumb and pushed down the blond lock of hair that insisted on poking straight up over his left eye.
“I suppose we impressed him enough, or we wouldn’t be here, right Josh?”
The baby gurgled, then blew a bubble.
“Couldn’t say it better, kid. Hopefully, our new caseworker will be a woman.”
With Josh tucked in one arm and her purse strap slung over her shoulder, she paused in the sun long enough to steady her racing heart. She didn’t pray exactly. She’d pretty much given up praying when Jules and Nina had died in the car wreck.
Her mind flashed back on the prayer uttered in desperation as she’d driven into the woods toward the cabin holding Joshua. Instead of analyzing why she’d fallen into a childhood habit then, she pushed the memory away and tried to gather all the positive energy she could. Not that she believed in positive energy either. Which might be the problem.
She didn’t know what she believed in, though she recognized the fear coursing through her veins. Trying to draw peace from the warmth of the sun, she realized walking into the building in front of her scared her to death.
So she pulled in a deep breath, opened her eyes, and marched toward the front door.
As her luck would have it, Angela Drake sat at the receptionist desk, manning the phones. “Well, Erin Jacobs. You’re the last person I expected to see walk into our office this afternoon.”
Erin managed not to wince at the heavy perfume smell, drifting over the desk toward her.
“Hi Angela. I’m here to see Travis Williams.”
Angela popped her gum, but she didn’t reach for the phone on her desk. “Travis is our senior caseworker. He’s single too. Yummy, isn’t he?”
Angela leaned forward to share her gossip, though of course she didn’t lower her voice. Erin could make out the tiny bit of red lipstick on her front left tooth, same as in high school. Some things never changed, including the anorexic body and the too bright dress.
“We used to have a pool going—how long it would be before someone caught him. Then the amount of money collected got so high I worried Keith might borrow it. You know Keith. He never could be trusted with money.” Angela popped her gum again and ran her fingers through her perfectly straightened brown hair. “Remember when he ran off with our junior prom money? He claimed someone stole it out of his pocket while he made out with Belinda Swardowsky who never would have even talked to Keith let alone make out with him—”
“Angela, I—”
“So don’t ask me why we trusted him, but we thought he’d matured.” She pursed her lips and rolled her eyes in a coordinated effort. “Well, after two years Travis still wasn’t married. The kitty had reached over a hundred bucks, and I knew it was my duty to tell them about the missing money from the junior fund. Travis rarely even dated by then, and all the fun was out of it, so we decided to get our money back and go spend it at happy hour. Come to think of it, I never see you at happy hour.”
“Angela!” The girl’s over-painted eyes widened at Erin’s sharp tone. “I need to see Travis. Now. I have animals to feed before five, and this baby isn’t going to wait very long for his nap.”
Angela cocked her head at the baby in Erin’s arm, as if seeing him for the first time. “Pretty baby, but you don’t have to be snippy, Erin.”
Picking up the phone, she rotated her office chair so she faced the wall and cupped her hand around her mouth and the receiver as if to keep Erin from hearing her private conversation. Hanging up the phone and turning back, she said primly, “Mr. Williams will be out in a minute.”
Erin sighed and walked over to the waiting area. It was empty except for a woman with two children.
“Hello,” Erin said.
The woman stared at her out of tired eyes, lanky black hair spilling out of a pony tail. She looked to be under twenty and in need of a good night’s rest.
A toddler sat in her lap, knocking magazines to the floor, which she would reach over and pick up—only to have him repeat the process. The older boy sat at a table of Legos, quietly building a tall tower of blue blocks. He had to stand on tiptoe to add to it, but there was no energy to his play—no creativity in the design or choice of colors.
It all made Erin want to take Joshua and run back out into the sunshine.
Both children had runny noses and dirty clothing. Erin pulled Joshua closer to her breast, wondering if perhaps the children had a cold. Hadn’t she read waiting rooms were the most likely places to catch a cold?
Her palms began to sweat as she looked down at the baby in her arms. She tucked the blanket more tightly around him to provide some measure of protection.
The possibility of rampant viruses galloping across the room scared her enough, but the haunted look in the woman’s eyes was downright terrifying. What if her apathy was contagious?
The idea had barely formed in her mind when the door next to the reception area pushed open and Travis Williams walked through it. He was dressed in a light charcoal suit, starched white shirt, and Snoopy tie. All of which accentuated his healthy tan and sun-bleached hair. When his eyes met hers, Erin melted.
For a moment she forgot this man was her enemy.
In her need to flee the dreariness of the waiting room and the watching eyes of Angela, she jumped out of her chair.
Travis’s eyebrows sprang up in surprise. His blue eyes twinkled as she practically ran across the room toward him. Erin briefly saw something there that reminded her of Doc—a kindness and affection.
“Erin. Joshua. Nice to see you two again.”
His voice did funny things to her stomach. What was wrong with her? She pressed Joshua closer, trying to remember if she’d eaten. She couldn’t think when Travis stood so close though. Every thought had flown right out of her head, leaving her dizzy with his scent—some combination of citrus aftershave, soap, and the outdoors.
Too late she realized he’d asked her something and was waiting for an answer. Glancing over at Angela, she wasn’t surprised to see her old classmate had walked to the filing cabinet closest to them. No doubt so she could eavesdrop.
“I think I need to change Joshua,” she murmured, hoping the excuse would cover her inattention.
“My office is through this door and upstairs, or we can take the elevator.”
She followed him through the door without speaking and nodded toward the stairs.
“We have a large restroom with a changing station right around the corner.” Touching her elbow, he guided her down the hall. His hand felt warm, even through her cotton blouse. Her pulse jumped, and she wondered if he could feel the thrumming of it through her veins.
She tried to focus on what he was saying. She heard the words Cowboys and Texans and somehow understood he was talking about football. He was trying to put her at ease. If she could make it to the bathroom, she could pull herself together.
“Here’s the restroom, Erin. My office cubicle is to the right. Take as much time as you need.” He again touched her arm, his blue eyes staring deep into hers, and then he turned and w
alked down the corridor.
She fled into the bathroom.
The changing table had high sides. She laid Joshua down, and with shaking hands, she popped a pacifier in his mouth, then moved to the rocker they had provided for nursing mothers.
Sitting down, she lowered her head between her knees.
She was having a panic attack.
Coming here, then seeing Angela, remembering high school, that poor tired woman with those two children. It had all been too much. It had pushed her right over like a tower of Legos. She—Erin Jacobs, who had single-handedly rescued alligators and put them back in the swamp—was having a panic attack over becoming a mother.
Then a big, strong, single male walks into the room, and she wants to run into his arms.
It would be hilarious if it wasn’t so pathetic.
For the hundredth time in the last forty-eight hours, she wished she could call her sister Dana. Of all the weeks for her to decide to go on a honeymoon.
Nina always said God’s timing was perfect.
What would she say about this?
Erin continued to suck in deep breaths of air as she stared at the blue-and-white tiled floor of the bathroom. She finally became conscious of Joshua’s cooing.
Sitting upright, then standing, she stumbled over to stare down at him. There were many things she didn’t understand, many more things she downright doubted. But one thing she remained convinced of—this baby belonged in her life.
She walked to the sink and turned on the cold water, ran it over her hands, and sprinkled some on the back of her neck. The coolness calmed her enough to lower her racing heartbeat.
By the time she reached Joshua’s side, he’d spit out the pacifier and had plunged his fist into his mouth, looking quite pleased with himself.
“Yes, you’re quite resourceful, little man.”
Scooping him up, she hugged him to her and kissed the top of his head. Then she collected her wits, what she could find of them, and walked out of the bathroom.
Protected (Jacobs Family Series Book 2) Page 5