“Easy. Try a little at first.”
She nodded, rested back against the pillows, and studied his face.
“Josh?”
“He’s fine. You fell asleep again, so I washed him up and fed him another bottle. He’s asleep in his crib now.”
She nodded, satisfied. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
She tried to understand why he was there, how he’d come to help them, but it took too much effort. Instead she said, “You look worried.”
“You’re burning up, Erin. Can you take these Tylenol?”
She nodded and took the caplets from his hand. When she reached for the water though, she shook too badly to hold it. He again brought it to her lips and held it for her while she quenched her thirst.
“I need to take you to town, but the flood…”
Then it all came back to her. She remembered trying to leave with Joshua, and the lake at the bottom of the hill.
“Phones?”
“Still out. I guess they have been for some time.”
“Since yesterday. How did you reach us?”
“Angela’s brother has a monster mud truck.” The familiar grin returned to Travis’s face, and somehow it brought her more comfort than anything so far. She knew if he could smile in the midst of this, they’d be fine.
“Mud truck, huh?” Her voice cracked again, and she began to cough, deep and painful, sounding as if she were coughing up her lungs.
Travis jumped up and stuffed his hands in his pockets. He tried to hand her the glass of water, but she shook her head no.
“You need to be in a hospital. Your fever, I don’t know how high it is, but it must be over one hundred. And you look terrible.”
“Thanks.”
“You know what I mean.” He sat back down as her coughing subsided. “I was scared senseless when I walked in here and saw you lying there curled around Joshua.”
She saw him look down at the floor and clench the fist that lay on her quilt, but he held the words he wanted to say.
“I know,” she whispered.
His head snapped up, and his eyes searched hers.
“I know you were right. When you said we need…” Her hand fluttered out of the cover, gesturing toward the empty room around her. “Other people. When you said we can’t do this alone.”
The dam inside her burst open, tracking hot tears down her cheeks.
She glanced away because looking in his eyes hurt too much, and she wouldn’t be able to say what she’d rehearsed all night. Instead, she studied the scene out her window where the rain continued to fall. She could admit she’d been wrong, had finally found the right words she owed him—in the moments she’d been lucid. But she couldn’t look in his eyes while she did it.
She needed a moment to compose herself and stop the tears that insisted on falling like the rain.
—
Travis realized he shouldn’t allow himself to get any closer to Erin.
Their relationship had already become too intimate. He understood the rules governing relationships between caseworkers and clients and knew their purpose.
But the last fifteen minutes had been packed with too much emotion for even the notoriously distant Travis Williams to stuff inside. Seeing Erin in that bed, her body curved protectively around Joshua, with the infant supplies stacked neatly near her on the floor—he had felt like a fist was squeezing his heart and feared it wouldn’t stop until it burst.
Then Joshua had moved his tiny hands and reached up for him.
Is that what Erin had seen the night she’d found him on the porch?
When Erin had turned her face toward his, he’d felt the double blow. Somehow they had both worked their way past his defenses. He understood now how much she loved this child. He didn’t fully know how such a thing could happen so quickly, but it had. Seeing her physically suffer, and not be able to do anything about it, tore at him. On top of that she was hurting emotionally. How could he not reach out and comfort her, just this once?
Even if it was against the rules.
Tenderly, he ran a thumb along her jaw and felt her shiver. She turned her face into his hand as she had before.
He longed to pull her to him and cradle her in his arms.
Instead he said, “Look at me, Erin. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Joshua and I shouldn’t have been here alone. I shouldn’t try to do this by myself. What if I had di… di… died? What would have happened to him? I need a ne… ne… net.”
When she finally turned her eyes to his, he meant to pull his hand away. Instead, he found himself pushing her hair back from her face, trying to soothe the agony he saw written there, and finally doing what he swore he wouldn’t, pulling her to his chest.
As he rocked her back and forth, her sobs doing more to drench his shirt than the rain had, Travis realized he was losing his heart with each beat of hers. Some part of his mind knew that even as he whispered nonsense words and clumsily patted her back.
Finally, her well of grief seemed to run dry, and he was left holding what seemed to be her shadow. The heat from her fever radiated through her clothing, penetrating the blankets between them. When she began shivering, he pulled the comforter around her.
He used his thumbs to dry the tears on her cheeks. She glanced at him for a moment, then buried her face against his chest. She started shaking against him again, and he worried her fever was spiking, knew he needed to move her soon.
“Listen to me. You wouldn’t have died, okay? And someone would have come. Doc would have checked on you.”
“They’re out of town.” Her voice was a wail, tearing from her throat, and he realized how all alone she must have felt, how terrified she’d been since the rains had begun. “And the phones didn’t work. I moved all the animals to high ground—locked them all in the barn, set out extra feed, even managed to milk Kizmit and Bells. I tried to leave, tried to drive out, but the road was blocked. I came back, and Joshua was so heavy. Then the next time I tried to get to the animals, I couldn’t. The water was too high.”
Her sobs once again interrupted her story. He thought she’d been cried out, but like the clouds outside the window she had more to give. He waited another minute, two, until her breathing returned to normal.
Then he scooched back and held her face in both his hands.
“You did great, honey. You were very smart to bring Joshua in here with you. And the phones would have come back on eventually.”
Now she did raise her eyes to his, and he saw the smallest glimmer of hope there. He had the overwhelming urge to gently kiss her lips, to bring even the tiniest of smiles to her, but he didn’t.
He’d crossed enough lines today.
“Yes, you need a network. I’m glad you understand the importance of having others to call, but you did the right thing with what you had. Now tell me what I need to do with the animals, and then we’ll get you and Joshua to town.”
Twenty-Three
Erin looked at the doctor and stubbornly shook her head. The IV had helped tremendously. Whatever meds they had mixed with the saline solution had improved her condition dramatically after only a few hours—enough for some of her willful streak to return.
“I can’t stay tonight,” she insisted. “Now please sign my release papers, or give me that form saying I understand I’m leaving against your advice.”
“But Miss Jacobs, perhaps you don’t understand how severely dehydrated you were. We’ve seen this happen before in flu cases. You’re feeling better now because of the fluids and the medicine we’ve pumped into your system. Tonight the fever will rise again. The next twenty-four to forty-eight hours will be rough.”
Erin didn’t blink. Instead, she pushed the button to call her nurse and scooted to the side of the bed. “I have a baby, doctor. And there’s no one else to take care of him. Plus an ARK full of animals. I can’t stay.”
Doctor Bandal’s eyes widened at the word ARK. He was a young, middle-eas
tern man, with a gentle demeanor. Sighing, he picked up her chart and began writing a notation.
The door opened with a swoosh and her nurse Jamie entered, followed by Travis who was holding Joshua. Her heart kicked up at the sight of the two of them. She was grateful the doctor didn’t have her on a heart monitor. He’d never let her go. She took a deep breath and smiled at them though Travis remained standing across the room.
“Good news?” he asked.
“What can I do for you, sweetie?” The nurse was a no-nonsense, grandmotherly type.
“I need this IV taken out,” Erin said, attempting to maneuver out of the bed while still holding the back of her gown together.
“Is Miss Jacobs going home, Doctor?”
“Apparently.” He scribbled three prescriptions and set them on the tray beside her bed. “Do not try to tend to your animals in this weather. You will have a relapse, and you’ll be back here before the sun is down tomorrow. Am I clear?”
Travis juggled Joshua to his other arm. “Why are you leaving? Are you that much better?”
The doctor crossed his arms, but didn’t speak.
The nurse actually tsked. Erin hadn’t heard anyone tsk since, well, since Nina had passed away. The sound shot through her heart like an arrow from a bow.
“What am I missing here?” Travis asked as he once again switched Joshua to his other arm. The baby had begun to fuss and squirm as soon as he’d spied Erin.
“I’m not at liberty to say, Mr.—”
“Williams. Travis Williams.”
“So you’re not Mrs. Jacobs’ spouse.”
“No!” They both shouted the word simultaneously, causing the doctor and nurse to exchange a quick glance.
“Then, of course, I cannot share Miss Jacobs’ medical information with you.” The doctor shook Travis’s hand, even as he managed to send a disapproving look toward Erin. “It’s nice to meet you though. I am Dr. Bandal. Perhaps you could talk to my patient and remind her how ill she was when she entered this facility.”
“Erin—”
“There’s no use ganging up on me. I’m going home.” Erin heard the petulant tone in her voice, but held her ground.
“Doctor, you might not be at liberty to say, but I suppose I’m free to hazard a guess. Is our patient going AWOL?”
Again the tsk as Jamie removed the IV and applied a Band-Aid.
“It’s the baby,” Erin explained to her. “I’m a single mom, and there’s no one else to care for him.”
“No one else looks like a tall drink of water to me, hon.” The observation was offered in a girl-to-girl whisper, but in the sudden quietness her words carried—probably out to the hall and down to the nurses’ station.
Travis had been attempting to settle Josh. At Jamie’s comment, his gaze found Erin’s. She was powerless not to look at him—look and remember how his arms had felt around her. For a moment, she had actually stopped being afraid.
That moment was over though, and it was time to stand on her own two feet.
Again grasping the hospital gown from the back, she put her toes on the cold linoleum floor, grimaced, and stood.
“Erin, where—”
She made it three steps before the room began to tilt.
—
Travis almost resented the doctor for reaching Erin’s side before he did. Of course, he had to dash around the bedside tray while holding on to Joshua.
Plus he had been standing across the room. He’d hoped it would help him maintain his professional distance—something he hadn’t done a very good job of all day. Looking out at the inkiness of the night sky, it occurred to him he would do better to start afresh tomorrow.
By the time he reached Erin, Dr. Bandal and the nurse had lowered her back to the bed.
“I’m fine. I was only dizzy for a minute.”
“This is what I’m speaking of when I say you are not ready to be dismissed from my care. What if you were at home and had such a spell? What if you were carrying your son?”
Travis knew the doctor had hit his mark when Erin pulled in her bottom lip to stop the tears.
She hadn’t cried again after he’d held her in his arms, but he’d seen her almost break down twice. Once as they passed the barns on the way back down the hill. He’d spent two hours tending to her animals, and he assured her they were fine. He’d even managed to milk the cows, which he considered a real achievement. Passing the barn, she’d bit down hard on her bottom lip, gazed at him as if he’d paved a path to the moon, and reached out to touch his arm.
When the tears had pooled in her eyes, she’d pulled her hand back and tucked it under the blanket he’d wrapped around her.
The second time she’d almost burst into tears was during her admittance downstairs when they’d asked her to list her next of kin.
Watching her now, Travis realized Erin’s pride had taken quite a few blows these last few hours, and the dark circles under her eyes were evidence of her exhaustion.
“Could I have a few minutes alone with Erin? Perhaps we could reach a compromise.”
The doctor nodded as he jotted a final notation in her chart. “I need to speak with two more of my patients. Have the nurse page me if you have any questions.”
Nurse Jamie leaned in and whispered something to Erin he couldn’t make out. Erin sniffled, but continued to stare at the wall.
As she walked past Travis, she stopped and took Joshua’s hand. “You are one beautiful little man. Yes, you are. And you have your mother’s curls—don’t you?”
She patted Travis’s arm as she continued out of the room, her soft-soled shoes nearly soundless on the floor.
Travis waited for Erin to raise her eyes to his before he approached her bed. Then instead of perching next to her on the mattress, he pulled over a chair.
Seeing the longing in her eyes as she gazed at Joshua, he again marveled at their bond. How could he have ever doubted these two belonged together?
“Let me hold him.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“If he were going to catch this, he already would have.”
Arguing with her was an exercise in futility. Raising the bedrail, he gently laid Josh next to her. Automatically, her arms formed a protective circle around the baby and the clouds of worry in her eyes lifted, as if holding Josh righted the world.
Sitting in the chair, arms propped on his knees, he peered through the bars of the railing. “Erin, I think you know you shouldn’t go back to your home right now—at least not alone.”
She didn’t answer or take her eyes from Josh, but she did nod slightly.
“Is there anywhere else you can go? Any friends who would let you stay with them for a couple of days?”
The tears started from the corners of her eyes and tore at his heart. She wiped at them with the heels of her hands.
“When will Doc and Evelyn be back?”
“Wednesday.” Her words whispered defeat.
They both knew in two days she’d either be ready to go home alone or she’d be in the hospital’s intensive care unit.
Travis did not have all the answers to his clients’ problems, never claimed to be able to solve all their issues. He did like to appear confident in front of his cases though. Somewhere in the last eight hours, Erin Jacobs had ceased being merely a case. Maybe she never had been.
So he leaned forward, placed his head in his hands, and he did something he usually only did when he was alone—he silently prayed for guidance.
Lord, I can take Joshua from Erin now for a few days. Put him in an emergency home, but I don’t believe that’s what you’d have me do. I can see her love for this child. Thank you for urging me to her house, for sending me there in time. Thank you for taking care of these two through the night. I know you have a place and a person to care for them until Erin is well, Lord. Help me to guide them to that person.
When he lifted his head, Erin was studying him.
“I’m going to step into the h
all for a minute. Will you be okay?”
“Yeah. Do you have a pacifier for Josh?”
He smiled and unzipped the quilted baby bag he’d been carrying around for hours. “Happen to have one right here.”
Her fingers brushed his as he passed it over the rail. Electricity jumped up his arm, sending warmth through his body.
He needed to focus, needed to make the call.
“I’ll be right back.”
Twenty-Four
Travis gazed with longing at the basketball hoop as he unloaded the last of the groceries.
“Pick up that ball, and I’ll hit you with these bananas,” his mom threatened. “I need the rest of this food in the kitchen. Then I want you to find the playpen in the garage and wipe it down nice and clean for Joshua.”
Travis longed to drop the bags and rub at the tension headache that had begun an hour ago. Instead, he picked up a third bag and trudged toward the back door of his parents’ house. His mother had done too much for him in the past three hours to argue.
As he walked into the garage, a hand reached out and clapped him on the shoulder.
“I’m actually enjoying having a baby in the house again.” His father smelled of machine oil and leather. He’d been tinkering on their 1953 Ford truck again. Just thinking of the classic eased some of the tension in Travis’s shoulders. “Of course it’s only been a few hours and the little guy has slept the entire time. I might feel differently tomorrow.”
Travis looked around at the stockpile of junk. “I’m supposed to find a playpen? Before Joshua reaches puberty?”
“Check the back corner if you can get there. Let me carve you a path.”
“Stay where you are, Dad. One of us needs to be close enough to the door to call for help when the whole pile comes crashing down.”
“Every spring I say I’ll clean this out, then the fish start biting and I can’t make myself do it.”
“Don’t blame you there. Who wouldn’t rather sit by the lake than clean up this mess? Personally, I’d rather be shooting some hoops.” Travis pushed aside a bicycle with a flat tire, a broken dining room chair, and a wheelbarrow full of old pottery.
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