“I’m pretty sure you can’t own people, Dragon.”
“I disagree, you’ve pretty much owned me from that first day, Mama.”
I smile and close my eyes, enjoying the feel of his fingers and the sweetness of just having him here with me.
“Where do you think we would have been, if we hadn’t met that day at the gas station?”
“I probably would have been hooked up with Lips and felt empty as hell.”
“Lips?” I ask and try to tap down the twinge of jealousy that flairs. (It might be a big twinge.)
“She was a Twinkie, but different from the rest. I respected her. We got along well enough, I had been thinking on it. Just never really cared enough to make a move.”
“Well…that sounds…fun.”
“I didn’t want to be that man.”
“That man?”
“That sixty-year-old who was still sharing women with his brothers and crawling between the open legs of some chick, not because she gave a fuck about me, but just because she wanted to make it with a member of the Savage crew.”
“Wow, Dragon, you paint a pretty picture.”
“Mama, until you came into my life, I never realized what happiness was, let alone love.”
I soak in those words. I drink them in deep.
“Are you feeling okay after the surgery?” He asks softly.
“Yeah, sore and stuff, but they tell me that’s normal. All things considered, I’m doing really well.”
“My woman’s a fighter, it’s where our son gets it.”
“I figured that trait was pure stubbornness. That is definitely a West family trait, sweetheart.”
“I like that,” he says after a few minutes of silence.
“What?”
“West family. Hated that fucking name my whole life until you gave it a reason.”
Okay so maybe a few tears fall when he says that, but it’d take a stronger woman than I am not to react to that.
“I’m getting sleepy…” I say because I am. I just hate to see this evening end.
“Then rest, Mama, I’ll lock up and take care of you.”
“I’m really glad you came by tonight, Dragon.”
“Dani talked me into it.”
The mention of Dani’s name hurts me. In some ways I’ve been a lot angrier with her than I have Dragon. Even so, I’ve still been worried about her.
“How is she?”
“Scarred, and I’m not talking about anything visible, but she was worried about you. She gave me the kick I needed to pull my head out of my ass.”
I think about what he just said. I need to talk with Dani and make things better. I just don’t think I can right now. I need to work through some of this anger I have inside of me. Still, I promise myself that I will try talking to her soon. I don’t want to be cut out of her life.
“I’m glad.”
“Me too. Now rest, Mama.”
“Yes, Daddy.”
“Never thought I’d like that…”
I smile, “What’s that?”
“A woman calling me, Daddy. With you, it’s hot as hell though. Only thing that would make it better is if you said it while I was smacking that ass of yours.”
“Seems like I’ve heard that somewhere before…” I whisper.
The last thing I hear before sleep claims me is Dragon laughing. God, I love him.
Chapter 33
Dragon
I haven’t slept. Since the moment I made the decision to trap Kavanagh—I haven’t slept. A nap here, a nap there and that’s it. There was no use for me to go to bed unless it was to jack off to thoughts of my woman. Sleep wouldn’t come, it mocked me. It didn’t take long before I couldn’t even cum to the thoughts of my woman, because I was seeing all too well how much she was hurting and that shit was my fault. So having her talk and laugh with me again, like we did last night, is the best motherfucking gift I have been given since my son was born. Falling asleep with Nicole laying on her side and my arm pulling her back into me and her hair falling against my chest, just listening to her breathe is a motherfucking miracle. Something about it being the first bed I slept with her all night in… Seems right, like we’ve come full circle. So, for the first night in forever, I actually slept. To be honest, waking up seems like a bad idea; last night was a dream I’ve had for far too long.
Here I lie, with my eyes closed, willing myself into going back to sleep, and it just doesn’t work.
“We’re not going there, so you need to tell Dragon, Jr. to quit poking me in the back,” Nicole mumbles and I smile.
“Morning, Mama.”
“How’d we get up here?”
“I carried you, after I wiped the drool off my leg.”
“I warned you.”
“That you did. How are you feeling?”
“I’m not sure. I just woke up because there was a steel rod poking me.”
“Hey, I can’t help what you do to me, Nicole. It’s beyond my control.”
“Well you need to tell him to stop, because even if I could—which I can’t, we’re not going there.”
“You could suck him. I’ll give you my cum.”
“You’re so delusional,” she says but I can hear the smile in her voice.
“How about you lay in bed and I bring you some breakfast and meds? While you call and check on Dom, sound like a plan?”
“Umm…you’re going to cook?”
“Fuck no, I was going to run out to the Truck Stop and pick up two breakfast platters. That way Carrie and Dance still have a kitchen when they get back.”
“Ick. Please no.”
“Still no appetite? We have to fix this, Nicole. I need you to keep your ass.”
She turns and looks at me over her shoulder, like I’m nuts.
“Have you seen my ass? I’m pretty sure there’s plenty of it back there.”
“I dream of your ass, of sliding my cock in it and fucking it hard. Sinking so deep inside you taste me….”
“Dragon, quit trying to get me horny. I can’t have sex yet, damn it, and even if I could you and I are nowhere near that place yet.”
I curl closer to her and prop myself up on my arm, so I can whisper in her ear.
“Am I making you horny, Mama?”
“Fuck you.”
I grin, as my hand goes over her breasts.
“Shit, I’m going to miss these…”
“Oh my God, Dragon, I’m still a freaking double D cup, even without the milk.”
I fake a longing sigh. “I know, it will be like you’ve let my play toys waste away to nothing.”
“Okay, I need to pump and then I’m getting away from you and jumping in the shower. I wouldn’t say no to toast and more Sprite.”
“Pump?”
“I use a breast pump so they can give Dom the milk. Of course, I’ll have to throw it out for a few days because I’m sick.”
“They feed him your milk through some of those tubes and things?”
“Yeah. They say it’s healthier for him.”
“What happens while you’re sick?”
“They have donors to provide milk or formula. Now, if you’re done questioning me? Toast, Sprite? Remember?”
“No OJ?”
“Afraid to try it.”
“Okay. It’s yours. Would you like to ride with me to see Dom this morning if your fever’s gone?”
“I’m afraid…I don’t want to get him sick.”
“You can wear a mask and suit up in all that garb. You don’t have to touch him, just see him. Come on Mama, I’ve missed having you on the back of my bike.”
I’d been taking a vehicle everywhere, because I didn’t want her on my bike when she was pregnant. It will feel good having her there again.
“I’ve missed it, too…but to be honest, I’m still real sore. Can we take the car?”
I only know a moment of disappointment, because she’s not insisting I leave her alone today.
“Anything you want, Mama.”
/> She gives me a strange look but goes on to the shower. I throw my shit on and hit downstairs. I search Carrie and Dance’s bathroom and find enough shit so I’m ready to roll, and then go out into the kitchen to fix Nicole’s toast. I toast half a loaf and manage to make four pieces that aren’t burnt to a crisp. Dance really should invest in a better toaster, those settings are fucked up. Then I set about foraging around and finding me something to eat.
Nicole comes down a little later. She’s wearing blue jeans and a silky blue top that matches her eyes. Her long hair is hanging down straight. Have I mentioned how she takes my breath away? I love this woman. How in the hell did I get to be the lucky son of a bitch she gave her heart to? I have to find a way to get her to trust me again.
“What the hell are you eating?” She asks, her face is priceless.
“A Twinkie. Found them in the cabinet. I haven’t had one in a long time. They’re dangerous. They have carcogenical things in them.” I say plopping the rest of the cake in my mouth.
“You are a regular laugh a minute today, aren’t you?”
I grin and lean back in the chair. I like that I make her smile.
“How’s the fever?”
“It seems to be gone,” she answers.
“So we’re a go for the hospital?”
She looks at me for a minute and my heart stalls. I might have pushed too hard, too fast. I prepare myself for rejection when she surprises me.
“I’d like that,” she whispers and she reaches out and takes my hand.
*
It’s late by the time we get back from the hospital. I talked her into grabbing a bite to eat with me and the sun is starting to set by the time we get back to Dancer’s. She turns at the door and I can already tell she’s going to ask me to go home…alone. I bite back the demand on my tongue. I have to proceed carefully, I know that. I can’t take her shutting me out again.
“Hey Mama, you look sad, what’s wrong?” I ask when I notice there’s moisture in her blue eyes.
“I hate leaving Dom. I want him to be okay. I need for him to be….I want to bring him home. I can’t even feed him…” She whispers, her voice breaking.
My hand goes under her chin and I pull her in by our still joined hands.
“He’ll be home where he belongs soon, Mama. You heard the doctor this morning. He’s getting stronger every day.”
“I…know. It’s just after having him as a part of me for so long, it all feels empty now. I want to hold him, Dragon, feed him and rock him to sleep. Just be a mom to him.”
I kiss her forehead, because I don’t know what else to say to that. She should have all those things. Hell, we both should. I don’t like leaving Little D behind any more than she does.
“It’s been a good day, Dragon,” she says when we pull apart, but she still holds my hand.
“Let me come in, Mama. Don’t send me home without you.”
Her tongue darts out to run along the bottom of her lip and her eyes freeze on mine. I’ve never been the type of man to ask. I’ve never been the type of man to wait on a woman, but Nicole is not just any woman. She’s mine.
“Dragon, I…I need to think about things. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? At the hospital?”
I want to scream no. I don’t. I pull her in one last time, then let go of her hand to slide mine along the side of her hips. I let my fingers travel under her shirt so I can feel her skin. I need that touch to sustain me. She is, and always will be, my drug of choice.
“Tomorrow then Mama, if that’s what you want.” I whisper against her lips and then slowly kiss her. Not giving her my passion, but trying to show her how much love I have for her. I need her to know that she is….everything.
When the kiss finally ends she studies me closely then, breaks away to go inside. I stand there until I see the upstairs light come on.
“Everything been okay tonight?” I call out into the night.
Nailer and Hawk come around from each side of the house.
“Yeah Boss, no signs of anything,” Hawk responds.
“You really expecting trouble?” Nailer asks.
“Can’t be sure, but I want my woman protected at all times. So you yahoos look alive.”
“You got it,” Hawk says as they go back into position.
I go climb on my bike, trying to figure out how to get my woman home. I could be totally wrong, but I think when Daddy Kavanagh learns his son is missing he’s going to be looking for him. I need to be prepared and that means having my family close.
Chapter 34
Nicole
I am exhausted. Between fending off Dragon’s increasingly sexual advances the last several weeks and being here at the hospital twenty-four seven, I’m drained. The bright spot of everything is that Dom is being moved to a regular crib tonight. If he manages to stay warm and do okay in it for a couple of nights, I get to bring him home. He’s grown so much, but he’s still smaller than any baby I’ve seen. Last night a baby died that had been in the incubator beside Dom. My heart broke for Sarah—the mom. She was a single parent and had zero support. I gave her my number, I’m hoping she’ll stay in touch, but I’m afraid seeing Dom may be too much for her.
Dom is doing so good now. I get to hold him and feed him. I breastfeed before I go home, and we use my milk in bottles during visiting hours. I don’t like using the bottles, so I’ve thought about breastfeeding all the time, but Skull, and even that guy Diesel, is still around and they pop in all the time. I’m pretty sure Dragon would kill both of them if they walked in while I was breastfeeding. Especially since I haven’t even let Dom feed in front of him.
It’s weird; I’m nervous around Dragon now. I don’t know how to act sometimes. I love him. I want to fix what is between us, but I’m afraid, terrified actually. He promises I don’t have to worry about him ever doing something like this to me again. He tells me he’s sorry, but I don’t think he gets how deeply he wounded me. In the back of my mind I can’t help thinking he will keep something else from me. Or worse, he’ll just make a decision, do it and not tell me, and leave me and Dom alone, on our own. My brain is a jumble of emotions when it comes to Dragon, and I can’t trust myself around him. Ever since the doctor cleared me for sex, I have been pushing him away. I crave him and if I don’t keep him at a distance? I’m going to give in. It’s a miracle I haven’t already. I watch as he leans down and kisses Dom’s head. It’s a beautiful picture. This strong badass biker covered in tats and wearing a leather cut, bending down and being so delicate with his son. I wish I had a photo of it; Dom needs to see that. I vow to take a picture of it soon, so I can put it up in Dom’s nursery, whenever I move out of Dance and Carrie’s house. I should have already been looking for a place, but there just never seems to be enough time. Plus, every time I mention it Dragon goes a little crazy. He doesn’t understand why I won’t come home. I’m not even sure I understand. I do know the reasons are all summed up in one word. Fear.
“You ready to go, Mama?”
“Go?” I ask, because I drove here. I’m not sure what he’s got up his sleeve now, but again the word fear comes to mind.
“I thought we could go look at cribs for Dom and fix his room up at the club.”
Oh boy.
“Uhh…Dragon I’m bringing him home with me….to Dancer and Carrie’s.”
Dragon’s face goes solid, like I’m watching and it turns to stone—granite even. You can just see this mask of hardness come over him.
“Let’s go. We’ll talk in the car.”
“Dragon, I drove here.”
He walks to me and pulls me from the chair I’m sitting in so I am standing in front of him. He leans in and whispers into my ear, and I get chills. These, however, have nothing to do with sexual awareness. He’s mad—really mad.
“I’m not fighting in front of my child. Dom will not hear his parents going at each other. But listen to me, Mama, and listen well. We will have this out. We will be talking about this and there is no motherfuck
ing way my son is going to another man’s house when he leaves here. Now get your shit and let’s get out of here.”
I get my stuff and think I might be in shock, because I should be ready to cut his balls off, but instead, I’m aroused as hell. It has to be hormones still running amuck. Surely, that’s it? I mean, I haven’t had sex in like over three months, hell maybe four, the time is starting to blur. I follow Dragon down to the parking garage. I say follow, because there’s no way I can keep up with this stomping-mad, long-legged, jackass. I’m about out of breath just trying.
When we get down there, I start to go to my car and Dragon grabs my arm and steers me to his instead.
“Dragon, you can’t just tell me what to do!” I gasp, but he has the passenger door open and is lifting me up and sitting me in the seat, before I can even blink. He reaches around, buckles me in and I sputter trying to form coherent words when he slams the door—in my face.
He climbs in on his side, starts up the car and heads out on the main road.
“Dragon! I can’t just leave my car there! Besides, I have things to do to make sure Dom’s room is ready.”
He doesn’t answer, instead he reaches for his phone.
“Yo, Bull? Can you have one of the boys pick up Nicole’s car at the hospital? Yeah man. We’ll vote on it at Friday’s church. Later.”
“What did you do?”
Silence.
“Damn it, Dragon! You answer me right now or I’ll…”
“Shut it, Mama.”
“Shut…listen, I’ve had enough. You can’t just…”
He swerves the car, pulling over to the side of the road and slams it into park. It comes to a stop with a groan, and he cuts the engine.
“You want to have this out here, Mama? Fine, we’ll have it out here. How about the fact that I’ve let you lead me around by my dick long enough, and you are going to get this fucking knot out of your ass once and for all!”
I look at him like he’s insane, because I think he is. I unlatch my seat belt then open the door and jump out. Screw this, I’ll walk home.
I don’t get but just a few steps before he’s pulling me back to him. I try to fight him, to break free, but it’s impossible.
Trusting Bull: Savage Brothers MC Page 56