by Desiree Holt
Chapter 19
The weekend dragged endlessly. Julia’s sleep was disturbed by dreams of Luke, erotic dreams that left her waking in a sweat, panting, her arousal wetting her thighs and her breasts aching for the touch of his hands or his mouth. But the sexual haze was later disrupted by one argument after another with Courtney. Saturday morning she was at her best. Or worst.
“Why can’t I go to the party?” The teenager faced her in the kitchen, irritation sparking from her.
“We’ve been over this.” Julia did her best to keep her voice level and calm, even as her stomach cramped and acid burned through her. “Those kids are older than you are and not the right group for you to be hanging out with. Anyway, you’re just a novelty to them.”
“They like me,” Courtney insisted. “They wouldn’t ask me if they didn’t.” She clenched her hands into fists. “Don’t you think people can like me?”
“Courtney.” Julia stretched out a hand to her daughter, only to have the girl turn away from her. “Of course I think people can like you. I know they do, as a matter of fact. But you aren’t old enough yet to have the judgment to know when to say no to things that can harm you. I’m just looking out for your best interests. Your welfare.”
“You’re just jealous,” Courtney sneered, her tone hateful. “Just because you don’t have any friends, you don’t want me to have them.”
“Honey, that’s not true. I do want you to have friends. Just the right ones. When you spend time with this group, your grades go straight into the toilet and you start dressing like some kind of freak.”
“You hate me,” Courtney spat out. “Admit it. You wish you’d never had me.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” Julia reached for her daughter again. “That is so not true.”
“Yes. It is. And Grandma and Grandpa Patterson feel the same way. They never come to see me or ask about me. All those times they came to take Andy and Beth? I never got to go with them. There must be something terrible about me.”
Oh, my God!
“Courtney, no. You’re getting this wrong.”
But Courtney whirled away, storming up the stairs. “Just leave me alone.”
She slammed the door to her room, leaving Julia staring after her, fear stabbing at her heart. Was that what Courtney thought underneath it all? That Julia wished she’d never been born? How on earth had they arrived at this point? She’d tried to do her best to make her feel loved and wanted. To counteract the attitude of the elder Pattersons. To give her daughter a sense of security. Apparently she’d failed miserably and so much had festered inside Courtney for a long time. How had she missed all of that?
And was Courtney right that she, Julia, was without friends? There was Claire. Of course. But who else did she ever let into her life? No one in Charles’s circle had ever given her the time of day, including his parents. Somehow, it was always easier after the mess she’d made of her life to focus on the kids, Claire, and the business. Was it coming back to haunt her now? And what the hell could she do? If she laid it all out for Luke, would he understand and want to help?
Sunday, she coaxed Courtney into lunch on the Riverwalk, the drive downtown filled with a sullen silence. By the time they’d finished lunch, though, and Julia tempted her with a shopping trip to some of the boutiques that lined the waterway, the atmosphere lightened a little.
But not much.
Sunday night, Courtney closeted herself in her room again and when she hurried to catch the school bus Monday morning, it was without a word of goodbye.
Julia was left with an aching, uneasy feeling and anger at the unfairness of life. She couldn’t seem to find answers to problems that looked insurmountable. She almost dreaded going to the office Monday morning. When she walked in, she found Claire already there, waiting for her with questions in her eyes.
“You’re not getting away from me this time,” she warned.
But before they could get into anything, the phone rang and Margot, the receptionist, told Julia that a Mr. Buchanan was on the line for her.
“Take it,” Claire insisted. “Right now. And then we’re going to talk. Margot, tell Mr. Buchanan Julia will be right with him, then bring her a cup of tea.”
Julia stowed her purse in her office and nodded at Margot who set a filled mug on her desk. Then she picked up the phone, her hand trembling slightly.
“Hello?”
“Good morning.”
The deep timbre and molasses-thick warmth of his voice sent shivers along her spine and made her pulse throb. Images of Thursday night flashed through her mind like a video rerun, only with these images came sensations and responses. Julia drew in a deep breath to steady herself and slowly released it. She could do this. Somehow.
“Good morning.” She couldn’t help smiling. “Did you have a good weekend?”
“It would have been much better with you.” There was no mistaking the intimacy of the tone.
“Luke…”
“We’ll get back to that in a minute. Business first.”
Julia wasn’t sure if she waited eagerly or with dread for his announcement. “You’ve made a decision already?”
“At this morning’s executive staff meeting, after everyone took the weekend to review everything. The contract is yours. The selection of Bright Ideas for the campaign was unanimous. My secretary’s going to call your office later to set up a planning meeting.”
Yes!
For one exhilarating moment, she forgot her personal issues in the thrill of success. This would lift the agency to a whole new category. She wanted to punch the air in a gesture of victory. Then reality returned. Everything else aside, she’d now be working closely with Luke Buchanan. Keeping him out of her life—and her heart—was going to be next to impossible.
“Julia?” Luke’s voice held a mixture of curiosity and amusement. “You still there?”
She forced herself back to earth. “Yes. Yes, I am. I can tell you that we’re thrilled you’ve chosen us and assure you we will work hard to implement a successful campaign.”
“I know you will. So does everyone else. My secretary is faxing over the contracts as we speak.” He paused, and when he spoke again there was a different tenor to his voice. “On another note, I don’t want you to forget about Friday night.”
“Friday night.” She repeated the words, suddenly stiff and edgy.
“Dinner. Remember? Name the place or I’ll be at your door.”
“Luke, listen…”
“No.” She felt the authority in the word humming through the connection. “We will be having dinner, Julia. The location and manner of meeting is up to you. I’ll call you Thursday afternoon or Friday morning.” Another pause. “Just keep remembering that I love you. That I never stopped.” Then he broke the connection.
She held on to those words with desperation.
“Time to celebrate.” She looked up and saw Claire standing in the doorway, holding a stack of papers in her hand, her eyes alight with excitement. She waved the papers in the air. “Contracts just came in.”
For a brief moment, Julia remembered when the Hot Ticket contracts were faxed to them. The scene was almost the same. Who had known what that would set in motion? She tamped down her anxiety and grinned back at Claire. She owed it to her partner and friend to celebrate this huge break for them.
“That was fast. I just got off the phone with Luke, getting the official word. He said they made the decision this morning.”
“And of course he wanted to tell you himself.” Claire grinned. “And so?”
Julia tried to keep her features carefully arranged. “And so what?”
“God, Julia.” Claire dropped into the big client chair opposite the desk. “Anyone with half an eye could see the man is still head over heels in love with you. I’m surprised the conference room didn’t go up in flames when we were doing our presentation.”
Julia’s eyes dropped, staring at her hands. “
I hardly think that’s true.”
“I think it’s time we had that talk, honey,” Claire insisted. “Really.”
“Give it a rest, Claire. Nothing’s going to happen.”
“I know you didn’t come home Thursday night and you haven’t said a word about what happened. And you got a strange look on your face when you hung up the phone. So give.” She stacked the papers on the desk. “We have a huge contract here, sweetie. This will more than put us on the map. You owe it to the business to let me know what’s happening.”
Julia leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes for a moment. “He wants us to have dinner Friday night.”
“What? But that’s wonderful. Oh, honey, I’m so glad for you. You deserve some happiness.”
Julia opened her eyes and looked at her friend. “You know that’s not possible. I can be professional and do the work on the account, but there can never be anything personal between Luke and me. Never again.”
“Julia, we’ve talked about the stupid situation with Rod McGuire. I thought we got past that, all that stupid manipulation from the grave.”
“It’s not that.” She chewed her bottom lip. “Well, maybe a little. He might decide to block the twins’ trust funds. He is, after all, the executor.”
“Julia.” Claire gave her a hard look. “Those kids don’t give a damn about those trust funds and you know it. So what’s this really all about?”
“I just don’t know how he’ll react when I tell him everything. He’ll be upset that I didn’t tell him from the beginning. Maybe angry that I didn’t trust him enough to help me handle the situation. And he’d probably be right.”
“Sweetie, you were pregnant, sick, and faced with enormous pressure. I think he’ll give you a break on that.”
“And even though I got in Rod’s face that one time, he could still try to make trouble for Luke.”
Claire set the fax sheets down on the desk. “Rod McGuire is nothing but a big bully. So he owed Charles a huge personal debt. Fine. That doesn’t give him license to ruin your life or Luke’s.” A corner of her mouth tipped up in a smile. “Luke is a big boy, and every bit as powerful in his own right. I’ll bet he could give Rod McGuire a run for his money any day of the week. He’s not without resources. He can handle it.”
“I hear you, but—” God, she seemed to be stuck in place. What was the matter with her?
“You need to trust Luke on this. That’s my final word. At least for the moment.” Claire rose and shoved the stack of papers at Julia. “Look these over, make a note of any questions you have and we’ll go over them at lunch. That good with you?”
“Yes. Fine.”
“And Julia? You’ve lived in the worst kind of purgatory for fourteen years. It’s time to unlock the jail cell.”
The week alternately sped up and crawled by. Julia and Claire finalized the Connell Wilson contract and made plans to meet with Luke and two others the following Monday to get into the specifics of the campaign. The rest of the week they spent making sure other clients would be taken care of during the time they were immersed in the first monster campaign of their career, and fleshing out the campaign itself.
Courtney was still doing well at the office, but the anger and resentment continued to bubble just beneath the surface. At home every tone of voice, every angle of body underscored it.
“Does she ever say anything to you?” Julia asked Beth one night on the phone.
“About what, Mom?”
“You know, whatever’s bothering her.”
“Mom, everything’s bothering her right now.” Beth laughed. “She’s thirteen.”
“No. I think there’s something going on with her besides normal teenage stuff. I just wish I knew what it was.”
Every day she braced herself for Luke’s call, but her phone remained strangely silent where he was concerned. And that made her even edgier. In her nightmares, he showed up at her house unannounced, took one look at Courtney and exploded with righteous anger. She was jumpy and edgy, snapping Claire’s head off, then apologizing for it. Claire just watched her carefully and said nothing.
Thursday afternoon Beth called.
“I’m taking Courtney for the weekend again,” she told her mother. “I’m calling her tonight so she can pack a bag. Tomorrow I can cut out early, so I’ll pick her up right from school. That will give you some relief and maybe I can get her to open up a little to me. If it’s more than teenage angst, we need to know.”
“Honey, did Claire put you up to this?” Julia’s stomach clenched at visions of Claire spilling everything to Beth and enlisting her to clear the decks for Friday evening.
“Nope. I have no special plans and I thought it would do both of you some good to have some breathing room. Especially after our last conversation.” Silence hummed along the connection. “Why? Is something special going on?”
“No.” Julia nearly shouted the word, then swallowed and dialed it back. “Nothing at all. But maybe I’ll have dinner with some…friends.”
“Mom.” Beth’s voice was chiding. “I’ll say this again. You should find yourself a hunk and go out on a date. You’re practically a nun.”
“Beth!” Julia’s hand twitched on the phone, because her daughter was so close to what had worried her every day during the week.
“I mean it. Dad’s been gone for years and Andy and I are good to go. It’s just you and the hormonal teenager.” She paused. “It might do her some good to see you with some male company.”
“Are you sure you haven’t been talking to Claire?”
“Uh uh. But if she’s singing the same song, good for her. It means you have to listen. Bye. Gotta run.”
Julia was still holding the phone when it rang again, the sound making her jump.
“You have a call holding for you, Mrs. Patterson.” Margot, their receptionist, refused to call them by their first names, even though she’d been with them for five years now. It always made both Claire and Julia smile.
“Okay. Put it through.” She was flipping through the stack of messages Margot brought in a few minutes before when, paying little attention, the voice at her ear jerked her upright.
“So. We’re on for tomorrow night, right?”
Julia swore the deep timbre of Luke’s voice vibrated through the connection. It certainly pulsed through her. She nearly dropped the receiver. For a long moment, she couldn’t make her mouth work to say anything.
“Julia? You there?”
“Uh…um…yes.” She exhaled slowly. In for a penny, she thought. “Hi.” Wow. Didn’t she just sound like an idiot? Her palms were sweating and her heart thudded against her ribs.
“Tomorrow night,” he prompted.
“Yes. Tomorrow night.” Suddenly she was tired of making excuses, to herself as well as Claire. She was an adult. It was time to tell Luke everything and pray he’d understand. She thought for a moment. “There’s a great little restaurant just at the north edge of the city that I’ve been dying to try.” She gave him the name and location. “Sound good to you? I can meet you there.”
“Julia.” He spoke in a quiet voice. “I thought maybe we’d go to someplace on the Riverwalk. Are you trying to hide me away?”
“N-No. Not at all. I…just like to be…away from people. I’m with them all week.”
More silence.
“All right. I’ll take you at your word. This time. Is there some reason why I can’t pick you up at the house?”
If he only knew.
“I just think it would be better if we met there.” Until she could lay everything out for him and deal with his reaction.
“All right.” Then he added, “This time. Is eight o’clock good for you?”
“That’ll be fine. See you then.” She hung up before her discipline broke down and she blurted everything out to him.
Something caught her eye and she looked up to see Claire leaning in the doorway.
“Pl
ease tell me you’re going out with him again.”
Julia shrugged. “I guess. Beth is taking Courtney and Luke threatened to show up on my doorstep if I didn’t.”
“Are you going to tell him everything?”
She pushed her chair back from her desk. “After.”
“After what?”
“After we spend the night together without all that crap interfering.”
Claire laughed. “At least you’re calling it crap. That’s a start.”
* * * *
By the next day, Julia was a nervous wreck. It had taken every bit of personal discipline to get through the week dealing with Courtney at home and the Connell Wilson contract at work, not to mention overseeing the projects for other clients. She’d called Luke at his office that morning, hands trembling as she punched in his private number.
“I hope this isn’t a call trying to cancel tonight,” were his first words.
As usual, the deep voice rumbled across the connection and sent shivers skittering along her spine.
“No. Not at all.” She wet her lips. “I realized I forgot to tell you this place is casual. In case you wanted to stop at home and change first, I mean.”
“Julia.” She could almost see the half-smile on his face. “What I wear isn’t as important as who I’ll be with. But thanks for the heads-up.” He paused. “Eight o’clock, right?”
“Yes. If that’s okay. It’ll give me a chance to go home myself and change.”
“See you then.”
He clicked off and she sat there holding the receiver for a long moment. A sound made her look up to see Claire standing in the doorway.
“I’m going to charge you with lurking,” Julia said, half teasing. “You’re always hanging out in my doorway.”
“It’s the only way I find anything out.” Claire laughed. She walked in and sat down in one of the client chairs. “Don’t screw this up, Julia. You’ve done penance long enough and for what? Give yourself a break. Luke’s a good man. Hang on to him.”
“I know, I know.”
“I hope so. I really do. It’s time. If Luke’s living and working in San Antonio now, you can’t hide Courtney away forever.”