Beautiful Goodbye

by Chandin Whitten

  Rubbing my hand over Gage’s shoulder I gave him a soft smile before saying “Gage, if you’re asking if I’m going to have sex with him this weekend, I can’t make you any promises but I promise I won’t come back married.”

  Gage rolled his eyes then kissed my forehead. “I just want you happy, babe. Now let’s eat some pizza.”

  After Gage ordered a Hot Mama pizza, barbeque chicken pizza, and a meat lover’s pizza, yes all of those were for him, I ordered a pizza sub.

  Gage took a sip of his water then asked, “So are you nervous?”

  “Nervous? About meeting Larkin’s family, hell yes. I have never met anyone’s family and we’re not even together so I think this will be awkward but whatever. I told him I would go so I’m going.”

  “You don’t have to go, if you’re not comfortable. Stay here. We can have a weekend of movies and junk food. I won’t even go to the gym on Sunday.”

  The waitress brought our food and let her eyes linger a little longer than necessary on Gage before walking away. I laughed as I said, “I think you have an admirer, sir.”

  “Psh, the ladies love me. What can I say?”

  Rolling my eyes I took a bite of my sub and let a little moan escape my mouth. Gage smirked, “That good huh?”

  I nodded as I took another bite and stuck my tongue out. “How’s your eighteen pizzas?” I asked through a mouthful.

  “Three, I ordered three pizzas, not eighteen. You do know how to count, right?” I flipped him off and he laughed. “They are so damn good. If I could eat this every day I would be in heaven.”

  Wiping my mouth I joked, “You could eat it every day but you would look like that white toilet paper blimp man.”

  Gage scrunched his face, “The what?”

  “You know that giant white toilet paper looking blimp thing.”

  Gage slowly blinked as a smile formed on his face before he joked, “Babe, you can be so blonde. Are you talking about the Michelin man?”

  Taking another bite I shrugged, “I guess. Does he look like a giant toilet paper roll?”

  Shaking his head Gage snorted, “I fucking love you.”

  “Love you too, douche juice.”

  **********

  Looking through my suitcase one more time, I checked to make sure I had everything. Zipping it up, I dropped it on the floor and rolled it to the living room. Picking Dollie up I kissed her head and told her bye. My nerves were goin crazy, in just a few hours I would be meeting Larkin’s family. It really shouldn’t matter if they like me, it’s not like Larkin and I are together, but I still wanted them to. Leaving my suitcase by the couch, I put my ‘OSU’ hoodie and made my way to the game.

  Not able to focus on the game I just cheered when Sadie did and followed her like a shadow. The game seemed to fly by, and before I knew it, it was over and our boys had once again won. Grabbing Sadie’s hands, so we didn’t get separated in the crowd, we made our way down to meet the guys. Seeing the number twenty one and one very sweaty Larkin turning around to look at me had me melting into mush. Just that look in his eye told me everything I was hoping would happen this weekend, would in fact, happen.

  Feeling my cheeks flush I leaned in to hug him saying, “Awesome game.”

  “Thanks, baby.” Larkin kissed the top of my head and wrapped his arms around me.

  Pulling back I looked around, trying to find Gage. Standing on my tippy toes I was still close to a foot shorter than most of the people around me. Huffing in defeat I turned back to Larkin just as a large arm wrapped around my shoulders. “Hey babe, I was hoping I would see you before y’all left.”

  “I was looking for you, I wanted to say bye.”

  Gage pulled me into a hug and whispered, “Be safe, love you babe.”

  Smiling I whispered back, “Don’t turn our apartment into a revolving door of whores while I’m gone and I love you too.”

  Gage laughed a laugh I hadn’t heard in a long time. It was like I had my old Gage back. “You don’t have to worry about that. Party at Trent’s tonight.”

  “Please be careful and don’t drive if you drink.”

  Gage winked then kissed my cheek. “Yes, mom.”

  After Larkin showered and changed we packed his car and started down Interstate 70.

  Turning down Papa Roach I asked, “So are you going to tell me anything about your family?”

  Larkin flicked his eyes to me then smiled. “What do you want to know?”

  “Well for starters, who am I going to be meeting?”

  “My mom, sister, and grandpa.”

  “And do these people have names?” I questioned.

  “They do,” Larkin nodded. “My mom is Carrie, little sister is Cobie, and my grandpa is Ross.”

  “Ok. I can remember that. What else do I need to know?”

  Larkin pursed his lips and said, “There’s nothing you really need to know. They live on a farm. My mom is not your average mom, she’s crazy. Gramps is the coolest old man alive, and my sister well she annoys the shit outta me but I love her.”

  “How old is she?” I asked.

  “Cobie? She’s eighteen. Ok, enough about me. Let’s play a new game. Tell me three things about you.”

  Groaning I laid my head against the window, “Easy. My birthday is December twelfth, love the beach, and I have a slight obsession with shoes. Your turn.”

  “Woman, I have seen your closet, you don’t have a slight obsession you’re fucking crazy about shoes. Ok, about me…let’s see, my birthday is January ninth, I love seafood, and I want to play for the San Diego Chargers someday.” Larkin reached over a grabbed my hand, kissing it before resting it on his thigh. Oh boy I was in trouble. “Now, tell me your biggest fear and your biggest dream.”

  “You have to promise not to laugh.” I smiled shyly.

  “Uh, ok.” Larkin snorted.

  “Clowns and nuns scare the shit outta me.”

  “What? Clowns, they make people happy. Now the nun thing I can understand, someone who vows to never have sex their entire fucking lives scares the shit outa me too.” Larkin was fighting his laughter.

  “I hate clowns because of that damn clown from It, Pennywise.”

  Larkin shook his head. “Ok, so no circus for us. What’s your biggest dream?”

  Letting out a big breathe I chewed on my lip before finally answering, “I learned you can never have a dream, they just get destroyed. You have to be realistic with what you have. Dreams are for little kids not for someone like me.”

  Larkin looked at me from the corners of his eyes and questioned, “What? You can’t be serious. Life is all about dreaming, the bigger the better. My dream has always been to make it to the NFL and have a family.”

  Hearing Larkin talk about having a family caused a pain in my chest and sent chills down my body. Closing my eyes I tried to focus on my reality. “Dream on, sweetie. So what is your biggest fear?”

  “I’m going to sound like a girl but I’m terrified of needles.” Fighting my giggles I sucked in a deep breath before slowly letting it out. Larkin shot me a look then said, “We’re here.”

  Pulling my eyes from him, I looked out the windshield to see a huge white farmhouse with black shutters and a red door. The house was nothing what I expected. I was expecting a little, old farmhouse with a red barn in the backyard. But this, this place was the mecca of farms. This was what all farms dreamed of being when they grew up.

  CHAPTER 16

  I slowly opened my door and was instantly covered by three dogs, being licked and jumped on. “Bandit, Rosco, Porky! Down, now!”

  The dogs paused for a moment to look at Larkin before turning their attention back to me. While trying to divide my attention between the three dogs, I heard the front door open and footsteps were bounding their way to us. “Larkin!”

  Looking up I was met with gorgeous, warm brown eyes and one of the prettiest girls I had ever seen. Throwing her arms around him she exclaimed, “I missed you bub! I can’t believe you came
home.”

  “Chill Co. I’m only here until tomorrow night. Not like I’m moving back, that will never happen.” Larkin gently kissed the top of her head then turned her to face me and said, “Cobie this is Jenna, Jenna this is my annoying little sister, Cobie.”

  I didn’t have a chance to say anything before Cobie was squealing, “I am so excited to finally meet you. Larkin won’t shut his damn mouth about you. I have never met Larkin’s girlfriend before. Well, he really never has had a girlfriend. Just wait until mom meets her Larkin.”

  Larkin shook his head and growled, “Jesus fuck, Co! She’s not my girlfriend, we are just friends. Take a breath and calm the hell down.”

  Smiling at the two of them, I reached out to shake Cobie’s hand. “Larkin has told me so much about you, ok well that’s a lie,” I admitted and shook my head, “All I know about you is your name and that you’re eighteen.”

  Cobie giggled, “Ah, leave it to Larkin. I have to say for the past few months he hasn’t shut up about you and a few times I wish he woulda skipped the detail.”

  Feeling my face flush I wasn’t sure what to say. Larkin stepped forward to grab my hand, “Let’s go inside so you can meet my mom. She’s crazy but my sister makes her look normal.”

  Following Larkin and Cobie up the steps and into the house I saw the cutest old man walking down the hall towards us. “Larkin, your momma has been a mess today. After you told her you were bringing a girl home she has been all over herself. Good to see you, boy.”

  “Hey, Gramps.” Larkin dropped my hand to hug his grandpa.

  “So this must be the special lady. Gorgeous one, Larkin you better be treating her right or so help me son. I may be seventy years old but I can still beat your hide.”

  “Gramps, I told mom Jenna is just a friend. But she is gorgeous.

  Feeling my face heating I stuck my hand out and said, “Hi, nice to meet you.”

  Larkin’s grandpa grabbed my hand and pulled me into a hug. “Call me Gramps, babydoll.”

  Before I could respond I heard high pitch squealing then saw an older version of Cobie. “Larkin! I have missed you so much!” The beautiful woman was flinging herself into a laughing Larkin’s arms.

  “Hi, mom.” Larkin kissed the top of her head.

  Pushing off Larkin her arms were wrapping around me as she ssaid, “Jenna, thank you for coming.”

  Awkwardly hugging her back, I smiled and replied, “Thank you for having me.”

  “Oh, honey anything for my boy. Just listening to him on the phone I knew you were amazing.”

  I saw Larkin’s eyes grow huge. “Well, thank you. I think your son is pretty amazing himself.”

  Carrie wrapped an arm around me. “I have to agree with you, he is the best.”

  “Well not to break up the welcome wagon but Braylon’s having a party and I told him I would make an appearance,” Larkin said.

  I saw Carrie eyeing her son as she asked, “You sure that’s the best thing to do?”

  Larkin sighed and answered, “Yes, mom. It’s fine.”

  Carrie let out a breath. “Ok, sweetie. Be safe and we will see you in the morning. Is Co going?”

  Larkin grew rigid, “Fuck no, I don’t want her anywhere near them. We are only going for a minute then we will be back.”

  “Well, ok. Drive safe and be smart.” Carrie kissed Larkin’s cheek before turning and hugging me to whisper, “Watch him. Not the best crowd.”

  Larkin laced his fingers through mine and kissed his mom’s cheek on our way back out the door.

  Once in his car I looked at him and asked, “Who is Braylon and why isn’t your sister allowed around him? And why is your mom so worried about us going to this party?”

  “Braylon used to be my best friend. We got into a lot of trouble together. I don’t want my sister around guys like that, she needs a good guy. And my mom always worries.” Larkin replied as he shrugged.

  I knew there was more to the story he wasn’t telling me, but I didn’t want to push. So I just nodded. “Oh, ok.”

  Larkin roared his engine to life and turned the radio up. Proving to me that there was more that he wasn’t saying, but he was not planning on going into detail.

  Pulling onto a dirt road Larkin smiled. “Now this place is where I grew up. Lost my virginity, drank my first beer, and wrecked my first bike here.”

  “Wow. Sounds like you had a lot of fun here.”

  “I was stupid and got into a lot of trouble here,” Larkin laughed.

  Larkin parked his car next to a Jeep and shut the engine off. Turning to face me Larkin’s face showed me he was about to get serious when he spoke, “Ok with these people I need to be possessive of you. Stay by my side and don’t talk to anyone unless I’m talking to them. Some people here might try to start shit and fuck everything up. Don’t listen to a damn thing they say. I’m not the same person they’re talking about.”

  Searching his eyes I slowly nodded. “Ok. Let’s do this. Make your appearance so we can leave. I saw the dock behind your grandpa’s palace and I want to check it out.”

  Larkin grabbed my hand and squeezed. “Thank you.”

  I smiled as I opened my door and got out. Watching Larkin walk around his car I couldn’t help the butterflies in my belly. There was something about him that I couldn’t push out of my mind, he was inside my head. And my heart.

  Reaching for my hand Larkin laced his fingers in mine and guided us to the bonfire. Seeing all the people sitting around, drinking reminded me of home and the parties Gage and I used to go to. This was my kinda party.

  “Nayler! Man, it’s been a minute since I saw you.”

  Turning my head to see the very attractive man walking towards us I felt Larkin stiffen. “Dom.” Larkin jerked his head once in that way guys do to acknowledge each other.

  Dom ran his eyes up and down my body before looking at Larkin and asked, “Damn who’s this hot bitch?”

  Larkin went rigid. Before Larkin could say anything I narrowed my eyes at Dom and coldly said, “My name is Jenna, or you can call me Larkin’s girlfriend. But call me a hot bitch again and I will personally kick your ass.”

  Dom’s eyes went wide. “Shit Larkin, get your girl under control.”

  Larkin pulled me into his side and wrapped his arm around my waist before saying, “Fuck you, Dom. If you say one more thing to her or look at her the wrong God damn way I will sit back while she kicks your ass. And trust me, she may be small but she can hold her own.”

  Larkin and I walked away, leaving a gawking Dom behind. “Sorry, Dom and I were never really close. He was always jealous and wanted to be me.”

  Tucking my head into Larkin I smiled. “Understandable.”

  Larkin laughed as he led us to a larger group of people. “Well look who decided to finally show his face.”

  “Haha, dickface. Everyone this is my girl, Jenna. Jenna this is Braylon, Eric, Loral, Sammy, Justin, Shawn, Kali, Mal, and Lance.”

  Braylon stuck his hand out and said, “Well, you’re the girl who changed my man. You must be something special.”

  I wasn’t sure what to say so I shook his hand and smiled. “I guess that’s me.”

  I could already tell Kali didn’t like me, why I wasn’t sure but judging from the look she was giving me, I had what she wanted. Suck it bitch!

  Braylon handed Larkin and me a beer. Larkin smiled at me then kissed my temple, “So what the hell you been up to?” Larkin asked.

  Braylon shrugged, “Not shit. Trying to get outta here.”

  Larkin and Braylon fell into conversation as I felt most eyes boring holes into me. Glancing at the group of girls to my right, I attempted a smile. They all smiled back, well everyone except Kali, and she glared at me.

  After an hour Larkin and I said our goodbyes, avoiding any more drama and left. After we were back in the car I asked, “So is the Kali girl like an ex or something?”

  Larkin scrunched his face and asked, “No, why? I mean we hooked up a few times but
you know you’re my first girlfriend.”

  Chewing my bottom lip I said, “She just kept giving me the evil eye, like I was touching something that wasn’t mine.”

  Larkin smirked, “She’s a bitch. But I am yours, Jenna. You have me.” Larkin grabbed my hand and placed a soft kiss on it before setting it back on my lap and turning to start his car.

  Closing my eyes I let out a breath, “Larkin please, we are not going to ruin our weekend by talking about us. I want us to have fun and enjoy our time together, as friends.”

  “Friends. Ok, let’s enjoy this weekend,” Larkin sighed.

  **********

  Shutting his car off Larkin opened his door and got out. I could tell he was upset by what I said, but I didn’t want Larkin thinking this weekend was more than what it really was. Sighing I opened my door and got out, following Larkin around the house and to the dock.

  “You going to be pissed at me the rest of the weekend?”

  Larkin walked to the end of the dock and sat down. “Jenna, you scare the hell outta me. What you make me fucking feel, what you make me think about. I don’t want to be just your friend. I want more than that. I want you to be mine.”

  Sitting beside Larkin, I swung my feet back and forth and said, “Larkin, I tried. Really I did but I just don’t think I’m ready yet. I’m still trying to find myself and fix what’s broken. Don’t you think you scare me?” I slammed one hand into my chest. “The last guy I trusted ripped my heart out and I just can’t take that chance again, not yet.” I stared out at the moon reflecting off the lake, listening to the wind rustle the leaves.

  Larkin was silent then shook his head before saying, “I’m trying Jenna. I just fucking want you so much. And of course the girl I want doesn’t want me.”

  Rubbing Larkin’s back I leaned my head on his arm. “That’s not it Larkin. I want you but I can’t help thinking of my past. It’s something I have to work on. Just give me time to figure myself out.”