Beautiful Goodbye

by Chandin Whitten

Larkin lifted my head and placed a soft kiss on my lips then said, “If I have to I will wait Jenna, I’m not going anywhere.”

  I knew I shouldn’t do this but Larkin was my kryptonite and I couldn’t stay away. Placing my lips on his, I slowly moved my mouth with his.

  Larkin lowered us onto the wooden dock before resting himself above me. Thank God I was wearing a dress, easy access.

  Feeling his tongue running along my bottom lip, I opened my mouth, allowing him access. Larkin used one hand to lift up my dress and slip my panties down then removed his jeans and boxers with ease. Pulling my legs up to rest on his hip Larkin slowly sunk into me, feeling his piercing slowly slide against me. Letting a moan out I grabbed onto his upper arms as he pulled out before slowly pushing back in. There was something different about this time. Larkin and I had never been slow and sweet. I knew I should stop him but I couldn’t bring myself to tell him to stop. This changed everything.

  Running his hand down my cheek Larkin looked into my eyes he whispered, ‘You’re so damn beautiful.” Blushing I tried to look away but Larkin grabbed my face, so I was looking at him, “Jenna, don’t fucking do this,” he drawled out as he slid back into me. “Don’t walk away from us. I don’t give a damn about your past, I want you.”

  I felt my tears welling up as I spoke, “Larkin, I’m afraid.”

  “I know, baby but I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

  Larkin lowered his head and kissed me slowly as we both came apart.

  CHAPTER 17

  Waking up the next morning I felt Larkin’s arm wrapped around my stomach. Trying to wiggle my way out of bed without waking him proved to be more difficult than I thought. Every time I moved his grasp got tighter. Finally, after maneuvering myself out of his grasp and the bed I made my way to the bathroom.

  Looking at my reflection I attempted to tame my wild hair and ran my fingers under my eyes to rub away the left over makeup. Giving up, I gathered my hair in a messy bun and grabbed a washcloth to wash my face. When I returned to the room Larkin was sitting in bed.

  “Morning, gorgeous.” Larkin smiled.

  God, that smile. If he only knew what it did to me. “Good morning.” Sniffing I shifted my eyes to the door. “What’s that smell?”

  “My mom always makes a big breakfast for the family on Sunday mornings.”

  “Oh. That’s sweet. My mom likes to make a big deal out of Sunday’s too. Do you think you could get dressed so we can go help?”

  Larkin laughed before saying, “Baby my mom won’t let you help. Nobody helps her in the kitchen. She’s like the damn kitchen boss.”

  “Well, maybe breakfast is ready and their waiting for us.”

  Grabbing his phone off the nightstand Larkin glanced at it before smiling. “Nope, not ready yet. It’s only a little after nine thirty, breakfast isn’t until ten.”

  Rubbing my hands together I looked around the room then back to him. “I still think we should offer our help. I don’t want your family thinking I’m some hillbilly from the south.”

  Larkin burst out in laughter. “Baby, you have nothing to worry about. My family doesn’t think that about you at all. I think you’re just trying to get out of this room. You afraid of being alone with me?”

  Biting my lip I dropped my gaze and shrugged. “Maybe.”

  Larkin patted the bed beside him and reached for my hand. Letting him pull me onto the bed beside him I pulled my legs under me and leaned my head on his shoulder. “Jenna, I don’t want you to be afraid of being with me. I would never make you do something you didn’t want to. I want you to feel safe with me. I want you to trust me.”

  “I’m not afraid of being alone with you, Larkin. I’m afraid of what I might allow to happen. I’m afraid of what you make me feel. I’m afraid of you walking away from me and me never feeling this way again. I do feel safe when I’m with you. Trusting someone isn’t easy for me but there is something about you that makes me trust you with my life.”

  Just when Larkin started to say something there was a knock on his door before it opened slowly. “Lark, Jenna? Are you awake?” Cobie asked as she poked her head around the corner.

  Smiling I pulled away from Larkin, “Yes, we are.”

  “What the fuck, Co? What if we were having sex or she was blowing me?” Larkin yelled as he tossed his shirt towards her.

  “Eww, God! Not a visual I want this early in the morning. Nothing against you Jenna, you’re gorgeous. I just don’t want to think about my big brother getting it on. Blah! Anyway, mom sent me up to tell you breakfast is almost ready.”

  Glaring at Larkin I spoke to Cobie. “No worries, your brother won’t be getting it on with me.” I hopped off the bed and took a few steps towards her.

  Cobie wrapped her arm around my shoulders and laughed, “I really like you. I hope you come around more.”

  I didn’t have the heart to tell her I wasn’t the sticking around kinda girl, so I just smiled at her. “Me too.”

  Walking down the stairs with Cobie and a now grumpy Larkin following behind, I took the opportunity to ask about his past. “Since your brother is secretive about his past, what can you tell me?”

  Cobie was silent for a moment before saying, “The Larkin you know is completely different from the Larkin I grew up with. He’s my big brother and I’ve always loved him but he was an idiot.”

  “Oh.” Before I could dig deeper we were in the dining room with a massive table covered in food. There were bowls of fruits, bacon, sausage, pancakes, toast, waffles, eggs, biscuits and gravy, and hash browns. “This looks delicious, Ms. Nayler.”

  “Please, call me Carrie or mom. Anything but Ms. Nayler, makes me sound so dang old. Now have a seat and grab a plate. I wasn’t sure what you liked so I made a variety.”

  “Mom, this is a damn buffet. I told Jenna you made a big breakfast on Sundays but shit. You went a little crazy.” Larkin pulled his mom into a hug.

  “Maybe just a little.” Carrie smiled softly at her son. “Who wants coffee?”

  Just hearing coffee made my mouth water. “I do, please. I am not a functioning human without my morning caffeine fix.”

  “You’re a mean zombie without your coffee in the morning.” Larkin smirked as he lightly smacked my ass.

  Cobie and Carrie laughed. “I don’t want to know how you know how she acts in the morning. I will pretend my son is the perfect little angel who has never had sexy time with a girl”

  We all broke into laughter as Cobie asked, “Did you seriously just say sexy time, mom?”

  Carrie nodded. “I did. What would you prefer I say? I don’t want to know about my son screwing girls?”

  Gramps walked in just as Carrie said ‘screwing girls’. “Well that’s a helluva way to start your day.”

  “Sorry Gramps, mom is talking about my sex life at breakfast. Don’t listen to her.” Larkin clasped his hand on his grandpa’s shoulder.

  “Son, I haven’t listened to her the last forty years, and I have no plans on starting now.” Gramps smiled at him.

  “Oh, damn you guys. Let’s eat before you scare Jenna away. Poor girl probably thinks our family is psycho.” Cobie pulled a chair out and sat down.

  “Trust me your family seems normal compared to mine. By now my little brother would have thrown food or asked about something inappropriate.”

  Larkin snorted, “My sex life isn’t inappropriate for a breakfast discussion?”

  As we all sat around the table the doorbell went off. Carrie hurried out of the room to answer the door. When she returned she was followed by two younger boys and a man and woman.

  “Larkin, I didn’t know you would be home this weekend.”

  Looking between the two men I couldn’t help but feel the tension in the room rising. “Uncle Chad. I didn’t realize I needed your permission to come home and visit my family.”

  “Larkin, Chad!” Carrie scolded. “You two need to chill out. We have a guest and I would really appreciate if you would wait unt
il later to rip each other apart.”

  Chad turned towards me, surprise flashing across his face. “Do I know you?”

  Scrunching my face I shook my head. “No, sorry I go to school with Larkin.”

  The two younger boys ran up to Larkin pulling on his arms and yelling at him, trying to get his attention. Chad pulled his eyebrows together. “You just look so familiar.”

  Son of a bitch. It had been well over a year, and I had only been noticed a few times, and they were right after my issue of Playboy was released. I didn’t want anyone to know what I did, I tried to keep it secret. I smiled sweetly and said, “I guess I just have one of those faces.”

  A pretty woman stepped in front of me and held her hand out. “Hi, I’m Kelli, Larkin’s aunt.” Pointing to Chad she said, “That’s my husband, Chad.” She pointed to the two young boys and smiled lovingly before saying, “And that’s RJ and CJ.”

  Placing my hand in hers I returned her smile. “Hi, I’m Jenna.”

  Carrie looked around at everyone before saying, “Well, can we eat before all the food gets cold? I made plenty so why don’t you guys join us for breakfast?”

  Kelli nodded. “Sounds great.”

  Breakfast was full of awkward silence and the occasional question about my life. After everyone ate Chad stood and placed his hand on Larkin’s shoulder. “Why don’t you and I go out to the barn? You can help me shovel shit.”

  Larkin looked to me before asking, “Will you be ok? It shouldn’t take me long.”

  I smiled and nodded. “I’ll be fine. Go shovel shit with your uncle.”

  Larkin hugged me then gave me a soft, chaste kiss before walking out behind his uncle. I helped Carrie, Cobie, and Kelli clean off the table and load the dishwasher as the two young boys ran around the kitchen pretending we were captured by pirates.

  Cobie looked at me, motioning out the door with her head. “Wanna go for a walk? I can show you around the farm.”

  “That would be great. Let me put a sweatshirt on and we can go.”

  After putting my sweatshirt on I met Cobie on the back porch. Looking out I could see barn after barn after barn, fields in the distance, and the pond in front of us. “Is this where you grew up?”

  Cobie shook her head then answered, “No. We lived in Cincinnati until my dad died. I was nine and Larkin was twelve. He took it really hard. He started fighting a lot and partying. My mom thought if we got out of the city maybe he would calm down but he only got worse. The only time I saw him truly happy was on the field at his games.”

  “What happened to your dad?” I asked. I knew I shouldn’t be prying but Larkin tells me nothing and I wanted to know more.

  “He was a police officer and was called to a robbery. He was shot on scene and killed instantly.”

  “I’m so sorry. Larkin has never told me about your dad. Well, really he hasn’t told me anything about your family.”

  Cobie shook her head and pursed her lips. “He’s difficult. But don’t give up on him. I have never seen him like this, not since our dad died. You bring out the old Larkin. Not the fighting, drinking, stoned Larkin I’m used to.”

  Damn, this girl was good. “Cobie, we are just friends. I care for your brother but that’s as far as our relationship will go.”

  Cobie turned her golden brown eyes at me as she kicked the leaves. “Jenna, say what you want but I see the way you look at my brother. You’re in love with him, just like he’s in love with you.”

  “It’s not like that with us. I don’t do love, I do fun.”

  Cobie laughed. “Girl, trust me I have heard how fun my brother can be but he’s not like that with you. Larkin used to just use girls and when he was done he would toss them to the side and go to the next one. He would never take time to get to know the girl, he never cared about them, and he sure as hell didn’t introduce them to our family. If you knew the old Larkin you would see how different he is. I never thought I would see him like this again. I always thought he would overdose one day or get killed by some drug junkie.”

  I knew Larkin had a past that he wasn’t proud of but I never thought it was that bad. “He was that bad?”

  Cobie just nodded and continued to walk. When we got to large red barn she shoved open the door and motioned for me to go in. Walking in I looked around seeing at least ten quads and who knows how many tractors. “Ever ride a quad?” Cobie asked.

  “I’m from Alabama, what do you think?”

  Laughing Cobie handed me a helmet and walked over to the waiting quads. “Let’s go for a ride. There’s a part of the farm I want to show you but unless you want to walk a shit ton we will just take the quads.”

  I pointed to my knee high boots and smiled. “Probably not the best for a walk on the farm.”

  Cobie giggled then climbed onto her quad. “Just follow me.”

  Starting the quad I followed Cobie out of the barn and through the woods behind the barn. Crossing a creek we came to a small clearing that was littered with wild flowers and one single, giant oak tree. Cobie stopped her quad just under the tree, pulled her helmet off and hopped off.

  Pulling my helmet off I gazed around the clearing. “This place is gorgeous.”

  Smiling Cobie said, “Ya, it is. This is where Larkin used to come when he needed time alone. I followed him here one day and fell in love with it. I still don’t think Larkin knows that I know about it.”

  “He was really, really bad wasn’t he?” I asked, the sadness in my voice causing it to shake.

  Cobie bit her bottom lip and I saw the tears in her eyes. “I was so scared I was going to lose my brother and my dad. My dad and Larkin are my heroes. After my dad died I never thought Larkin would turn into the person he did. I wanted my dad and my big brother back.” Cobie shrugged and sunk down to the ground, leaning her back against the tree.

  Sitting beside her I picked a flower and handed it to her. “I don’t know what the old Larkin was like but the Larkin I know is amazing.”

  Smirking Cobie put her arm around my shoulder and said, “He is amazing. And so are you. You two are perfect for each other. I know my brother can be a pain in the ass and make life hell but he’s worth it. He deserves to be happy and you give him that.”

  “I have a past too, Cobie. Not a good one, a really fucked up past that would scare him away.” I picked another flower and ran my fingers along the petals.

  “Don’t be so sure about that. My brother is stronger than you think. He has his own past that he’s trying to forget about. He wouldn’t judge you because of your past.”

  “I guess I just have a lot I have to work out for myself before I can trust someone else with my heart.”

  Cobie pulled me into a hug and said, “You’re different. My brother sees that and from what I have seen he’s not going anywhere. Just talk to him about it.”

  Giving her a small smile I lifted one shoulder. “We’ll see.”

  **********

  After Cobie and I got back to the house a very pissed off Larkin came in a few minutes later. He didn’t say a word to anyone, he just stomped up the stairs then I heard a door slamming.

  Carrie looked from Kelli to Cobie and I then said, “Well, I guess shoveling shit didn’t go so well.”

  Kelli’s mouth turned down. “I think if Larkin and Chad both made it out alive I would say it went stellar.”

  I wasn’t sure what the problem was between Larkin and Chad, but it was very clear they were not fond of one another.

  Cobie shrugged as she picked RJ up and sat him on the counter. “Your daddy and my brother are hormonal, do you know what that means?”

  RJ smiled and shook his head. “No. Tan you tell me? I wanna be smart when I olda.”

  Cobie ran her hands through his messy hair and said, “It means they are grumpy.”

  CJ, who was running in circles around the kitchen island stopped. Looking at Cobie he asked, “Dats why momma talls daddy a gwumpdick, huh?”

  Kelli picked her son up and through lau
ghter she tried yelling at him, “Chad Nolan Lang Junior! You do not say words like that.”

  CJ looked sweetly at his mom. “But mommy, you said dem.”

  “Because I’m an adult. Mommies and daddies sometimes say bad words.” Kelli put her son down and watched as he ran off to another room. Turning back to face us she was trying not to smile. “Damn, boys.”

  RJ was still on the counter and wagged his finger at her. “Bad word mommy.”

  Kelli placed her hand over her mouth. “Oh, sorry baby. Go find bubby and play.”

  Cobie placed RJ on the floor and unlike his brother he slowly dragged his feet out of the room.

  Larkin came stomping down the stairs and into the kitchen. “Jenna, I got our shit packed and waiting. Let’s go.”

  Carrie walked to her son and hugged him. “Larkin, please don’t let your uncle get to you. At least stay for lunch.”

  Larkin’s intense, dark eyes found mine and I could see the fury in them. “Sorry mom.” Larkin squeezed his mom, let her go and walked over to Cobie. Pulling her into a hug he kissed her forehead then pulled away, walking towards the front door.

  “Ok, I guess that’s my que to leave. Thank you everyone.” I smiled.

  Cobie and Carrie both hugged me. “Remember what I said, I’m serious,” Cobie whispered.

  “Hopefully we see you again, we loved having you.” Carrie smiled warmly.

  Pulling away I gave a small wave before turning and walking to a waiting Larkin. When I reached him I got on my tippy toes and kissed his cheek. “Are you ok?”

  “Fine, let’s go,” Larkin snapped.

  “Ya, you seem like it,” I snorted.

  Larkin grabbed our two bags and walked out the door with me trailing behind. The ride home seemed much longer than two hours, and full of silence.

  CHAPTER 18

  By the time Larkin dropped me off at my apartment he was so tense I could see his jaw ticking. I wanted to make sure he was ok, but I didn’t want him blowing up at me. Before he had time to shut the car off I grabbed my bag out of the backseat and flung the door open. “Thanks. I had fun, see you tomorrow?”