Beautiful Goodbye

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Beautiful Goodbye Page 12

by Chandin Whitten


  Larkin let out a sigh then stared out the windshield. “Ya, sure.”

  Getting out of the car I briskly walked up the sidewalk, pulling my keys out to open my front door. I never turned back to see if he was watching, as soon as I had the door open I heard his car revving then the tires squealing.

  Closing the door behind me I rested my head against it and Dollie came running towards me. She attempted to stop but skidded into my feet, picking her up she licked my cheek.

  “Ugh. I guess things didn’t go so well?” Gage asked from the couch.

  Rocking my head back and forth I pushed myself off the door and went to the couch. “Things were great until his Uncle Chad showed up. It was obvious they don’t care for each other or get along. They don’t even try to hide it.”

  “Sorry, babe.”

  “Eh, I guess that was just another reason why I can’t be with him. He is too much damn drama. I’m going to unpack then I will make dinner. Do enchiladas sound ok?”

  Gage studied me for a minute then smiled. “Sounds good. I’m going to hit the gym. I will be back around six.”

  After unpacking I took a quick shower. Not really caring how I looked I put on a pair of oversized pink sweatpants and a black tank top. I went to start dinner just as Gage and Larkin walked through the front door, laughing.

  “Um, hey guys?” I asked a little confused.

  They both looked at me and Gage said, “Hey, babe. I ran into Larkin at the gym and invited him to dinner. Hope you don’t mind.”

  Larkin gave me his panty dropping smirk. Asshole. “I guess. I’m just starting dinner so it will be a while until its ready.”

  “That’s cool,” Larkin replied.

  Gage and Larkin walked passed me and into the living room and turned on some action movie that I would have no interest in. Once I had dinner started I decided on going to my room to get a little studying done while dinner cooked.

  Not saying a word as I passed the guys I went into my room, shutting the door behind me. Once I had the books I needed I went to lie on my bed only to be interrupted by a knock on my door. “What?”

  “J, can I talk to you for a minute?” Larkin’s deep voice rumbled.

  I didn’t want things to be weird so I acted like everything was ok. “Sure, what’s up?”

  I wanted to tell you I’m not mad at you. I didn’t want you thinking you did something wrong.”

  I sighed and said, “Larkin, I know you’re not mad at me. It was your uncle and you don’t have to explain anything to me. You owe me nothing.”

  Dropping his head he sat on the edge of my bed. “Jenna, I don’t want to scare you away. I want to be with you. I don’t want my past determining my future. With you I feel completely happy. My uncle won’t let my past go and holds it against me.” Larkin grabbed my hands and pulled me to him.

  Standing between his legs I laid my forehead on his. “Larkin, we can’t go through this again. You and I can never be anything more than friends. I just can’t give you more than that. At least not right now.”

  Sucking in his breath Larkin looked into my eyes. “Baby, I need you. You make me feel shit that scares the hell outta me but I know with you everything will be ok.”

  What the hell? Now what do I do? “Larkin, I want to be with you but I don’t know if I can. We tried and my past keeps holding me back.”

  “Your past is nothing I can’t handle. Work your shit out, but let me help you if you need it. I want to help.”

  Leaning my head down I placed a soft kiss on his lips. “I just can’t turn you down.”

  Larkin let go of my hands and pulled my face into his, his lips crashing mine. Just as things were getting hot, Gage yelled from outside my door, “The oven timer just went off. Should I take dinner out?”

  Leaning away from Larkin I called out, “Don’t worry about it, I’m coming.”

  Larkin placed his lips against my ear and crooned, “I would love to make you come.”

  “Haha, not now dirty boy. Let’s go eat dinner.” I pushed Larkin away and walked out of my room.

  **********

  Gage looked down at me and asked. “So what are we doing this year for Halloween?”

  "If there’s a party you can count me in. Do you want to dress up?" Larkin asked lookin between Gage and me.

  "I did last year, I went as a Fairy." I replied.

  Gage snorted, "I would say a slutty fairy, at best. There was more of you showing than there was covered."

  I rolled my eyes and stated, "That’s what Halloween is all about for us girls, letting our inner slut out for a night."

  Larkin and Gage laughed. Gage said, "Whatever you say, babe." Gage kissed the top of my head as he passed on his way to the kitchen.

  "Hey bitch, get me a water while you’re in there. Thanks girl, thanks," I said chuckling.

  I looked back down at my book not paying attention, next thing I know I have water running down my head. "AHH!! What the hell? Gage!"

  Larkin was sitting on the couch staring, not sure if he should laugh or offer me help. His laughter won out, and I glared at him.

  After tossing my book onto the coffee table I attempted to tackle Gage but Larkin grabbed my hips and pulled me down onto the couch. Gage looked down at us and said, "I'll leave you two alone. Night."

  I flipped him off as he walked away and Larkin told him goodnight. I was pissed but soon forgot when I saw the way Larkin was looking at me. There was something in his gorgeous eyes sparkling that I hadn't seen before.

  Larkin lowered his lips to mine and spoke against them, "Study time over." Our mouths moved in perfect time with each other. Slipping his hand into my sweats he ran his thumb over my panties, "So wet, baby."

  Larkin picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He carried me into my room, sitting me down on my bed kissing me hard. He broke the kiss only to pull my shirt off followed by my bra. His hands were instantly on my breasts, using his thumbs to rub my nipples. I let out a small groan and rotated my head giving him perfect access to my neck which he took advantage of.

  "You still have all your clothes, not fair." I know my voice sounded whiney but I loved his body.

  Larkin stood and with one quick move had his jeans and boxers on the floor, asking, "Better?"

  "Mmmhmm." Larkin pulled on my sweatpants and had them off before lowering back to me. I ran my hands under his shirt, feeling his muscles in his back flex.

  Larkin's hand trailed down my belly and into my panties. His thumb was rubbing my clit as two of his fingers slid inside me.

  "Oh. My God, Larkin. I'm close."

  Larkin pulled his hand away and I let out a grunt. My eyes were closed, so I couldn't see but the moment I felt his mouth on me I wanted to scream. His tongue darted in and out and my body exploded. My hands dug into his hair and my back arched off the bed.

  "Holy fuck, baby. Oh God. Yes! Shit. Oh, Larkin! I want you inside me, now."

  Sometime through my orgasm Larkin had ripped, yes RIPPED my panties off me. Not that I was complaining, the man had many, many talents.

  I opened my eyes and saw Larkin smirking at me. "Well, if that’s what you really want baby, your wish is my command."

  Larkin leaned up taking his shirt off. My room was dark except the moonlight peeking in the window. A shadow fell across his face creating a sexy mysterious look. He looked sexy as hell. I could see his tattooed, strong arms flexing. I could see the tattoos across his chest and his stomach and then my eyes fell on those guns. I have never seen a sexier tattoo. Damn those guns, they get me every time. They pointed exactly where I wanted to be. There were two bombs under the guns, making me think about my need, and how I was about to explode again just from looking at him.

  My eyes wondered back up his glorious body and found his eyes and they were sparkling with humor. "Not that I'm not enjoying you eyeing my dick, but I have other plans of using it to make you come, over and over. If that's ok with you."

  He didn't ever give me time to
answer before he was slamming his dick into me. He pulled out and closed his eyes. He slowly entered me again and stopped. "Shit! Condom, baby."

  I shook my head as I said, "I trust you."

  "I was talking more about you getting pregnant."

  I froze. How could I tell him that I can't get pregnant without him asking questions? So I kept it simple. “We’re good."

  Larkin looked into my eyes before asking, "Are you ok? Do you want me to get a condom?"

  "No just fuck me, now."

  Larkin pulled out and carried me into my bathroom and sat me on the counter. He pushed into me and from this angle the feeling was electrifying. He wrapped one arm around my neck and crushed his mouth into mine just as I was about to scream. With his other hand he used his thumb to torture my clit. I had both my hands gripping his shoulders as he slammed into me. I lost control and had my second orgasm. Just as I was calming he tilted his hips and he was hitting something inside me that sent me over the edge again. This time Larkin followed grunting my name as he came. He dropped his forehead to mine, "Damn baby."

  I only nodded.

  **********

  “Yo, hoe you ready yet?” Sadie yelled from the other side of my bathroom door.

  Opening the door to peak out I saw Sadie, Libby, and Megan sitting on my bed waiting. Sadie was dressed as a Greek Goddess, Libby as a wench, and Megan was a sexy prisoner. Stepping into my room all eyes were on me. “Hot damn girl. Larkin will be all over you before we make it to the car. You look sexy as hell,” Libby giggled and bounced up and down clapping her hands.

  Twirling I held my hands up and asked, “What can I say? When you got it, you got it.”

  “Hottest referee ever, you kinda make me want to play football just to see you running in that,” Megan giggled.

  Rolling my eyes I glanced in my dresser mirror. My tiny referee costume didn’t leave much to the imagination but I wanted it for Larkin. The super low cut black and white striped mini dress stopped just under my ass cheeks and hardly covered my girly parts. On the back in black writing it said ‘Sexy Bitch’ with a large black ‘69’ under it. I had on white socks that stopped at my knees with black sparkly ankle boots.

  Following the girls into the living room Larkin’s eyes were instantly on me. I could see the lust burning in his eyes as he stared. “Fuck, me,” Larkin ground out.

  I looked down at myself then back up into his dark brown eyes, “What?”

  Everyone else in the room turned to look at me. Trent shook his head and questioned, “Holy shit, Jenna. You trying to get someone killed tonight?”

  Wrinkling my nose I asked, “Huh? Why would someone get killed?”

  Trent chuckled, “You’re kidding right? If some guy tries touching you or fuck, even looks at you wrong Larkin will kill them. Hell, Gage, Tyler, Jinx, and I would murder the dickfuck too.”

  “You men and your testosterone, I can handle myself boys.”

  Sadie laughed, “Babe, we all know you’re a badass.”

  CHAPTER 19

  The boys played football and worked out. I fed them and went to class. The weeks seem to fly by. I was either in class, studying, cooking, or with Larkin. Thanksgiving break was a few days away and I wasn't sure what the plans for Larkin and I were. The biggest game of the season was the Saturday after Thanksgiving, the Ohio State versus Michigan game. My parents and Gage's parents were planning on coming up for Thanksgiving and the game. It would be the first time we saw our parents since we left in July.

  I would love for my parents to meet Larkin but I wasn't sure Larkin was ready. Or maybe I wasn’t ready and trying to blame it on him. I decided I wouldn't ask him about meeting my family unless he brought it up. I pulled on a pink hoodie and a pair of gray yoga pants and walked into the living room were the guys were.

  "Jenna, is there anything you own that doesn't make you look sexy?" Trent smiled.

  Libby rolled her eyes, "Trent when are you going to take the hint? Jenna is crazy in love with Larkin. Maybe when they get married and have kids you will get a clue."

  The room was silent. I was gaping at Libby and I could feel all eyes on me.

  Libby brought her eyes to meet mine, "Ah, shit! Did that just come out of my mouth? Fuck! I'm sorry Jenna."

  I had no words.

  Libby was off the couch and at my side, "Jenna, seriously. I wasn't even thinking." She looked to Larkin, "I was only kidding. Jenna doesn't love you. I was um I was just trying to get Trent to shut it. Shit!"

  Gage grabbed Libby and pulled her away, "Ok, I think it’s time to go for a walk and shut the hell up. Come on."

  Everyone else followed Gage and Libby out, it was just Larkin and I left. I was still in shock but turned to face him. He looked blank, emotionless.

  "Larkin, I have no idea what the hell she was talking about or what the hell she was thinking,” I tried laughing but even to myself I sounded like a high hyena.

  Larkin looked up meeting my gaze and asked, "Do you?"

  "Huh?"

  "Love me, Jenna. Do you fucking love me?"

  I dropped my gaze, not able to look him in the eye. "Larkin, I told you. I don't do love. I care about you but I can't go any further than that."

  "Do you believe in love, Jenna?"

  I nodded. "It's not that I don't believe in love. I do, actually I'm a strong believer in love. I just don't think love believes in me."

  Larkin shut his eyes, "I have no idea what went on in your past but things will never go back to how they used to be and the sooner you realize and accept that the sooner you can move on and be happy. You can't start living your life again if you keep looking back on the past."

  "You don't get it, Larkin. No one does. I will always remember every single fucking detail, every moment, every memory I was left with. No matter how hard I try to forget, I can't. When you tell someone you love them then they turn and try to kill you, it's a little hard to forget. So, I'm sorry Larkin. I'm not fucking perfect, I'm damaged and I'm fucked up. What I have been through...you don't simply shrug it off and walk away. So unless your fucking name is Google stop acting like you know every God damn little thing."

  I brought my eyes back to meet Larkin's. His eyes that were previously a soft and warm brown were now a deep and stormy brown, almost black. “You don’t think I’m not fucked up and damaged? I am working so fuckin’ hard to forget my past and not let it ruin me or what we have. I'm not acting like I know your past, for fucks sake I said I didn't know what happened. You won't tell me a God damn thing."

  I narrowed my eyes and glared, "Really, guy? What about your fucking past? All I know has come from Jinx and the few stories from the weekend at your Grandpa’s, and from what I heard I am setting myself up to be hurt again. I never saw until now how much you’re like my ex. The drugs, the girls, the fights. Exactly what Jacob was. No way in hell I’m putting myself in that position again. I’m just now moving on and becoming someone I like, I can’t let you ruin that. You can’t ruin me.”"

  Larkin jerked back like I had slapped him, "Don't judge me based on my past and a few damn stories you fucking over heard. I am not that person. I don't live that life anymore. But maybe if you would open up and maybe tell me about your past we could work past it together. I want to be there for you, I want to be the one you depend on. I don’t want to ruin you, Jenna. I want to be the one standing beside you as you become the fucking amazing woman you are. You are so damn strong, you don’t know how much I wish I could be like that."

  Snorting I turned away from him. "That’s funny, Larkin. I don’t need you riding in on your damn motorcycle to save the day. I don’t need anyone saving me. And the first mention of love and you froze up. I could feel the tension flowing off you. You want to pin this on me but yet I haven't heard you say it."

  "Fine you want to hear it, I love you Jenna. I am crazy, wild, head over heels in love with your cranky, silly, sexy, and bitchy smartass. There does that make you feel better?"

  I swiped at the tears flow
ing down my cheeks, "Are you kidding? I don't want you saying that to me just to make me feel better. I don't want you saying that to me at all."

  "I am not your ex. I'm not going to hurt you on purpose. I wish you would tell me what he did but we all have secrets, I understand that. But for me and our relationship to suffer because some dickass is not fair. It's not fucking fair to me, to you, or to us."

  "You really want to know what happened to me, Larkin? You really sure you can handle it?"

  Larkin nodded. "Yes, I want to know. I'm a big boy."

  I sat on the couch and curled my feet under me watching as Larkin slowly lowered himself onto the couch. I could see he wanted to hug me but was giving me space. Dollie came running to the couch, whining until I picked her up. I took a deep breath before focusing my eyes on the picture of my family sitting on the entertainment center. It took me a second to force myself to bring back all those memories, to relive the worst time in my life. I closed my eyes as every little detail started flashing in my head.

  CHAPTER 20

  I was sixteen and dating nineteen year old Jacob Vincen. He was the notorious sexy bad boy that all the girls wanted but I got him. He was different with me, so I thought… sweet, funny, always wanting to be with me...everything I wanted in a boyfriend. My parents adored him, and he and Gage got along. Though Gage told me he never really liked Jacob, but he tolerated him for me.

  Jacob and I had been dating for almost three months when things started changing, not in front of other people but when we were alone. He was a different guy. He wasn't violent but his attitude changed. He would yell at me over anything and everything, calling me names. Then one night he got mad at me because I had dinner with Gage. That was the first night he hit me. I was young and stupid and thought I was in love, so I stayed with him. It got worse and worse until one day Gage noticed I had bruising on my stomach and asked me what happened. I made up some lame story about rough sex with Jacob. After studying me for a few seconds Gage shook his head.

  Two weeks later Jacob and I got into a huge argument, once again over Gage.

  "You stupid bitch. I told you stay away from Gage. He is in love with you. He wants you all to himself,” Jacob screamed.

 

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