Keeping Sweets

by Cate Ashwood

  Evan stared out the window, watching as the tires ate up the pavement, the bus rolling quickly to the edge of town. Evan said good-bye to his old life. He took a moment to mourn the loss of the little things that had brought him happiness, but he could never return to that place. He didn’t belong there any longer.

  He bit down on his lip, tasting blood, trying desperately to keep his emotions under control. He felt overwhelmed that it was actually over. He was moving on, starting a brand new life in a brand new place. He could be anything he wanted to be.

  He pressed his forehead against the cool glass and watched the blur of foliage at the side of the road as they sped down the highway. Evan closed his eyes and tried to relax. It would be a long trip. He might as well try to get some sleep along the way.

  AFTER a twelve-hour trip that had turned into fourteen due to road construction, Evan finally checked into the Mountainside Motel. The room was small and smelled like unwashed feet. The walls were yellowed from years of smoke and God only knew what else. The air conditioning unit was stuck in the on position, so the room was a balmy fifty-five degrees.

  Despite the cold temperature, Evan immediately removed the coverlet from the top of the bed and with careful fingers deposited it in the corner of the room. He assumed the sheets weren’t the image of sterility, but the coverlet would be festering with all kinds of unknown nastiness.

  His interview was the next afternoon. Hopefully he could relax a little more now that he’d escaped the oppressive town and his stagnated life. The hotel was cheap, but it would be his home for now. He forced down the lonely, desolate feeling that crept up around him like English ivy, pulling at him, strangling him. It would do no good to feel sorry for himself.

  Chapter 2

  BRANDON COURT walked into Les’s kitchen to grab a bottle of water. He was tired, hungry, and thirsty. He hated casting days. Hours and hours of awkward conversation before even more awkward fucking with rookie boys that had bigger egos than dicks.

  The clock on the microwave read quarter after three. Only one more interview before he could go home and crash. The next few weeks would be a hectic whirlwind of shooting, editing, and of course, fucking. He was getting too old for this shit. At twenty-seven he was ready to retire, which was unquestionably one of the perks of being in the adult industry.

  Having entered the scene before he should have at the tender age of seventeen, he had made a name for himself early on. More due to luck than actual talent, he had a number of fans who had been faithful and supportive of him over the last ten years. But ten years was a long time to do what he had been doing.

  It wreaked havoc on his personal life, and he had long ago given up on the idea of a happily ever after. It was hard enough to find that as a gay man, but with his history, it was his experience that not many guys could look past everything on his sexual résumé.

  When he was young and idealistic, he had tried to have more meaningful relationships. He had all the sex he could ever want on camera, but off of it, was lonely. He had discovered that the men he dated were more interested in screwing Noah Conway than being with him. No one understood that Noah wasn’t actually him; it was just someone he pretended to be for a paycheck.

  Ironically, pretending to be someone else was what got him through most days. He dissociated himself from what he was doing and what was being done to him. It was a well-rehearsed routine now, one he had perfected over the years. He was good at what he did, and people seemed to like him, so who was he to complain?

  Despite the lackluster social life, he had more money than he needed, a nice place to live, and an awesome car. He had multiple orgasms every day, and although he had never been in love and the guys he fucked meant nothing to him, most guys would give their right arm to trade places with him.

  In fact, he had just interviewed six guys who were proof of just that.

  The doorbell rang, signaling the arrival of the last appointment of the day. They had seven spots to fill, and if Bran had anything to say about it, none of the guys they had already interviewed would make the cut. The prospects were dismal at best.

  He heard Les’s low, hushed voice ushering the boy into the casting room. Bran sighed and headed downstairs to meet him. He walked into the room, and the boy stood from where he had been perched on the edge of the couch and held out his hand for Bran to shake.

  “Hi, I’m Evan.”

  “Noah.” Bran never told the boys his real name. It led to complications. He preferred to keep his porn life and his private life as separate as possible.

  “Nice to meet you.”

  Evan’s hands were a bit damp, his voice wavering a little. It was obvious the guy was nervous. Bran had a bad feeling about this. A really bad feeling.

  “Les, can I talk to you for a moment?” Bran asked as Les reentered the room with the necessary paperwork.

  “Sure, Noah. Evan, have a look over this contract, and we’ll discuss it together when we get back. Excuse us.”

  In the hall, Bran let his cool façade fall. “What the fuck is that, Les?” he demanded, gesturing angrily at the casting room.

  Les faked innocence. “What do you mean, Brandon?”

  “That kid in there. What is he, sixteen years old? He looks like a fucking Disney cartoon.”

  “I know. Isn’t he great?”

  “No, he’s not great. This isn’t going to work.”

  “You’re wrong, sugar; he is perfect. Everyone is going to love him. The perfect twink.”

  Bran knew he would get nowhere with Les. Once his mind was made up about something, there was no changing it. He understood the man’s moods, something that came with working together for almost a decade.

  “Did you at least check his ID?”

  “Of course, I would never hire an underage kid.”

  Bran knew this was the truth. After Bran’s ex-boyfriend had convinced him to try out for another studio in town, Les had rescued him a year into the business and helped him put the studio that had originally hired him out of business. Porn producers may have somewhat flexible morals, but Les was adamant about his boys being legal.

  Bran was irritated, but it would do no good to make a fuss. It wouldn’t change anything. He schooled his expression to one of mild disinterest and reentered the casting room. Evan was sitting back on the couch, fidgeting with the clicking pen in his left hand.

  He felt a little bad for the kid. This was the first boy of the day who hadn’t walked in all pomp and swagger, dropping his jeans even before getting to the couch. Evan seemed innocent, sincere. This would never work.

  Bran looked around the room. It was so familiar. Nothing much had changed since he filmed his own casting video. A worn navy blue couch pushed up against one wall faced the door to the room. To the left of the couch was a bed, a blue plaid comforter, and a side table filled with more condoms and lube than most guys could go through in a year. The walls were sparse, painted a depressing off-white color. The lighting was good though, all the better for filming. To the right of the couch was a door that led into the adjoining room that housed all the camera and sound equipment.

  He took a seat next to the kid on the sofa, and Les pulled up a chair and got comfortable. Bran zoned out as Les delivered the same speech he had already heard six times that day.

  “This is a casting for an adult feature we are filming. Normally we don’t wait this long to secure talent, but we were holding off until we could secure the funding. The shoot would start in a week. You are never obligated to do anything you’re not comfortable with, but here is a list of content. Next to it is a monetary amount you will receive if you complete the act. The shoot will last two or three weeks, depending on how long it takes for us to get the material we need. We’ve rented a house just outside of Newport where you would stay with Noah and five other guys for the duration of the shoot.”

  “So I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do? At all?” Evan looked worried.

  “Nope. Within reason. A
s long as you’ll take off your clothes and give us a little something, we can work with it.” Les chuckled. “Of course, most guys end up doing things they never thought they would do. The money is just too good.”

  Evan glanced at the sheet again. His breathing sped up, and he looked a little pale. “When do I start?”

  Les chuckled. “I like your enthusiasm kid, but we’re not done with the interview yet. Before you’re hired I need to see what we’re working with here. Strip for me, okay?”

  Evan looked like he was going to pass out. Before he could stop himself, Bran reached for him and laid his hand gently on Evan’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, man, just breathe. Take it easy and remember you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

  “No, it’s okay. It’s no big deal. I can do this.”

  Evan looked like it was definitely a big deal, but the kid stood up and pulled his gray T-shirt over his head. Bran’s mouth began to water. Evan was slim, his body angling slightly toward his hips. His jeans hung low, revealing the vee of muscles that led beneath his belt.

  “Good, good, Evan. Keep going,” Les encouraged.

  Evan reached down and pulled at his belt, causing the muscles in his back and shoulders to move fluidly under his smooth skin. He had no hair on his upper body, just soft flesh over tight muscle. Bran had to fight to keep from touching him again.

  His jeans slid down to reveal the most perfect cock. He was already hard. It was long and thick and slapped against Evan’s belly as it was freed from his white cotton boxers.

  Evan blushed. “Sorry….”

  Bran took in the sight before him. It was a mental battle to decide which he wanted to devour first, his cock or his ass. Both were gorgeous.

  “There is absolutely nothing for you to be sorry for. Very, very nice,” Les cooed emphatically.

  “So do I have the job?” Evan looked so hopeful. Bran was torn. He didn’t know if he could do this, watch that innocent hopefulness leave the kid’s eyes, but at the same time, he wanted to touch him. Explore him all over with his hands and mouth. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this attracted to a guy. That scared the shit out of him. It was easier for him if he wasn’t attracted to the guys he fucked. As callous as that sounded, it was easier to separate himself that way. His mind checked out, leaving his body to go through the motions. Daydreaming and Viagra took care of the rest.

  “You got the job, kid. You want to start now?”

  “Now?” Evan squeaked.

  “Well, technically that’s part of the interview. We’re going to have you sign the paperwork and then we’re going to do some easy filming. The casting couch is a chance for us to introduce you to our members. Give them a chance to get to know a bit about you. The video will go up on the website this week, get a little interest stirring for the Newport project. That will be released in a few months. Today is a… well, solo mission of sorts. After this you’ll need to get yourself tested and bring the results to us before we can officially hire you on full time as one of our boys. Think of today as a little warm-up.”

  “Okay, so what do I need to do?”

  “We’re going to do a little interview. Then you’re going to strip and jack off for us. If everything goes according to plan, you come and you get five hundred dollars cash today. Sound good?”

  Evan blinked incredulously. “Five hundred bucks? For getting myself off?”

  “You got it.”

  “I think I can do that.”

  “Listen, a lot of guys are a little nervous their first time in front of the camera. If you need a little pharmaceutical help, it can be arranged for you.”

  Evan’s eyes widened. “Like Viagra?”

  “Yup.”

  “I think I’m okay.”

  Bran thought Evan was more than okay. He could barely take his eyes off the tenting in his shorts since he had pulled them back up.

  “Since Noah’s going to be the star of our next little production, he’ll be the one interviewing you, and he’s going to sit with you on the couch while you give us a show. If you’re comfortable with it, he might touch you or kiss you.”

  Evan didn’t say anything. Bran could see the wheels turning in his head. If he was going to bail, this was his perfect out.

  “You sure you wanna do this, kid? It’s not too late to change your mind. No harm, no foul,” Bran said.

  Evan shook his head. “No, I’m alright. It’s just a lot to take in, and I’m sure I’ll get used to it, but for now I’m just trying to wrap my head around all this.”

  “Hey, no problem. We’ll only do what you’re comfortable with. Nothing you don’t wanna do, okay?”

  “Yeah, okay. Thanks.” He looked relieved.

  “Alright, gentlemen, now that we’ve got all that sorted, let’s get started. Firstly, let’s decide on a name for you, kid.”

  “A name?”

  “Yeah, you need a stage name. Most of the guys have one. It helps to protect your privacy, and some guys are worried about their grandmas googling their names and coming up with a video of them taking it up the ass.”

  Evan turned to Bran. “So Noah’s not your real name? What is it?”

  Les cut in. “That is a closely guarded national secret, kiddo. Noah has never told one of the boys his real name. I’m the only one privy to that particular piece of information.” Les chuckled.

  “Oh, okay.”

  Bran piped up, “What about Jackson Culver?”

  Evan smiled. “I like it. It sounds kinda badass.”

  “Jackson it is. It suits you. When we’re done with the filming, I’ll get you set up with a membership to the site so you can see your video. It should be posted in a couple of days,” Les said. “Let me just run upstairs and grab a new memory card for the camera. Sit tight. I’ll be right back.”

  Les sauntered out of the room, leaving Bran and Evan alone. The nervous energy Evan had seemed to rein in was back. He was vibrating with excitement or nervousness or both.

  “Any advice?” he asked quietly.

  “Not really. For the interview, keep your name to yourself, but it’s easiest to stick as closely to the truth as possible so everything looks natural and believable. As for everything else, just don’t think and let your body tell you what feels right. Close your eyes if you have to and try to forget there’s a camera here. The more natural, the hotter the final product is.”

  “What if I can’t… you know….”

  “Finish? Don’t worry about it. You’ll be fine. Like I said, just try not to overthink it, and let nature take over.”

  Evan nodded as Les returned.

  “Ready to go, gentlemen?”

  “As I’ll ever be,” replied Evan. He took a deep breath and settled back into the couch, clasping his hands in his lap.

  “You’re going to do great,” said Bran. “Just relax. If you make a mistake or you need to stop, just let us know. We can edit out anything we don’t want later.”

  Evan settled into the corner of the couch a little more, placing one hand on his stomach and one on his chest. To Bran, he looked good enough to eat, and he was still fully clothed. Les was right. This kid would likely be a star. Bran felt apprehensive.

  He knew better than anyone the toll the adult film industry took on a person. Had this kid thought it through? He doubted it. Most guys saw the dollar signs and made the decision based on want or need without thinking through the consequences of their choice.

  Bran took a cleansing breath and cleared his mind. This kid wasn’t his responsibility. He took pride in his ability to stay detached from anyone and had so far succeeded. He couldn’t start showing a personal interest now.

  “Here we go.” Les gave the signal and counted down to the camera rolling.

  Bran looked directly into the camera and gave the half smile that was his trademark.

  “So we’ve got a new boy here with us at Sonic. Why don’t you tell us your name?”

  “Jackson.”

  “How ya
doin’, Jackson?” He kept his tone confident and lighthearted. Despite his reservations, he wanted Evan to feel as relaxed as possible.

  Evan laughed a little. “I’m good, Noah, thanks.”

  “So we’re here to learn a little bit about you, so let’s start with where you’re from.”

  “I was born and raised in Idaho. Never actually been anywhere else.”

  “Anywhere in particular you’d like to visit?”

  “Well, I guess I’ve always wanted to see the ocean. You know, hang out at the beach all day and play in the waves? Sounds pretty good to me.”

  “I’m sure everyone at home would like to see that. I know I would. How old are you?”

  “Eighteen.” Evan licked his lips and smiled. He was a natural at this, even though he didn’t know it. He flirted easily with Bran, seemingly unaware he was even doing it.

  “So are you in college?”

  “Not yet. This was my last week of my senior year of high school, but I’m hoping to go to college in the fall.”

  “What are you going to study?”

  “Microbiology and ecology.”

  “Wow. Smart and hot. You’re the whole package. Speaking of packages, we’re going to see yours in a few minutes. When’s the last time you jerked off?”

  The tips of Evans ears turned a light pink. “About two days ago, I think.”

  “And do you masturbate a lot?”

  “Not really sure what qualifies as a lot, but it varies. Sometimes a few times a week, sometimes four or five times a day.”

  “Sounds pretty normal to me. Why don’t you tell us about your first sexual experience.”

  Evan blushed deeply, scarlet staining his cheeks. “How about I let you know in a few minutes.”

  Bran’s breath stalled in his chest. “Cut, Les. Now.” He turned to Evan. “You’re a virgin?”

  “Uh, yeah. Is that a bad thing?”