by Cate Ashwood
The nervous girl had gone in while he was filling out his paperwork and a few minutes later walked back through the waiting room and out the glass doors with a brown paper bag. She looked relieved.
The man in the suit was next. Standing with easy confidence, he followed the receptionist through the door to the back of the clinic. When she returned, she called Evan’s name. He stood, wiping his sweaty palms down the front of his jeans.
The girl led him into a small room. It looked like every doctor’s office he had ever visited. Same posters, same rough paper cover on the small vinyl bed against the wall. There was the same black rolling stool, various forms, and jars of cotton balls and swabs.
“Have a seat. Someone will be with you in couple of minutes.”
“Sure, thanks.” He nodded.
He heard a familiar crinkling sound as he sat down and the paper folded and crumpled beneath him. His feet hung down over the side of the table and he swung them back and forth, then in circles as he waited. He already knew what the results would be, but Evan didn’t like needles much.
A different young woman entered. She didn’t look like a nurse, dressed in soft gray pants and a navy blue blouse. She greeted him warmly and perched on the stool.
“Hi, Evan. I’m Dr. Reynolds. How are you doing today?”
“Nice to meet you. I’m doing okay. I need… an… uh… STD screening.”
“Alright, I just want to go over a few things not included on the form you filled out since this is our first time meeting. Is that okay?”
“Sure.”
“Alright, Evan, I just need to get a little bit of information about your sexual history. Do you suspect that you’ve been exposed to any STDs in the past?”
“No.”
“Okay. Are you sexually active?”
“No.”
“Any recreational drug use?”
“No.”
The doctor looked up from the chart.
“I need the results for a job,” Evan stammered
Nodding her silent understanding, she simply said, “Alright, well let’s get started.”
Evan was relieved there weren’t any more questions. He knew the doctor’s office was a zone of absolute confidentiality, but it didn’t mean that it was completely removed from judgment. He didn’t want to have to explain exactly what kind of job he needed an STD screening for, but she didn’t push the issue, and he was glad to let it drop.
She stood and opened one of the drawers to her left. From the top one, she pulled a long rubber band and a syringe. Evan held his arm out so his palm faced up. The doctor’s fingers were cool and felt nice against his heated skin.
“Just breathe, Evan. This will only take a second and I’ll do my best to make it completely painless.”
Evan gave her an uneasy smile. “I’m okay,” he said, more for his benefit than hers.
She grabbed the tourniquet and secured it tightly against his upper arm before reaching across the counter and pulling a cotton ball out of the jar. After dousing it in alcohol, she rubbed it over his inner elbow. She opened the syringe.
“You don’t need to look if you don’t want to. Sometimes it helps to look the other way.”
“I’m okay,” he repeated.
“Alright, Evan. One, two, three and a little pinch.” She pushed the needle gently into his arm then removed the elastic squeezing his arm. He hardly felt anything. He watched as the deep red liquid filled the vial. She took three more vials before expertly sliding the needle out and pressing firmly on the little dot with a fresh cotton ball.
She disposed of the needle and gloves before sitting back down.
“Alright, Evan. That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
“Not bad at all.”
“The next part is usually the hardest—anticipating the results—but in your case, it’s probably just a formality. Just give the office a call in three days or so, or you can stop by and pick up the results in person if you prefer. Do you have any questions, or is there anything else I can do for you?”
“I don’t think so. Thank you, Dr. Reynolds.”
“You’re very welcome, Evan.”
EVAN had returned to the clinic three days later, just as Dr. Reynolds had said, and picked up the sheet of paper that declared he had a clean bill of health. That had been yesterday. Since then, Evan had been going crazy with impatience. He actually thought he might lose his mind. He made a checklist of everything he needed to do before September and crossed the items off the list one by one. Now, there was nothing left to do but wait, and it just meant more time he would have to waste before leaving for Newport. He was restless and agitated. Of course time seemed to pass more slowly because all he wanted was for the week to be up already.
He needed to do something. Anything. Desperation often led to terrible decisions, and this Thursday afternoon was no different. Evan rooted through his bag until he found what he was looking for: a pair of shorts and a ratty T-shirt. After pulling the shirt on over his head, he tied the drawstring on the board shorts, then bent down to tighten his sneakers. They weren’t real running shoes, but they would have to do.
Evan had never excelled in gym; he was one of the ones who barely skated by. He was nowhere near a jock, but he wasn’t the kid that got picked last for dodgeball. Third to last was not last, he reminded himself.
He tucked his keys into his pocket and set out running. It only took twelve minutes for Evan to realize what a mistake running had been. Summertime in Oregon was not the place for outdoor athleticism, especially for someone who did not possess any sort of innate skill. He was sweating and dizzy, partly because of the heat, partly because all he’d eaten had been a stale bag of nacho chips from the gas station down the street.
Realizing that it was a terrible idea, he turned on his heels and began walking—slowly—back to the motel. When he got there, he toed off his shoes and sat down on the bed, pulling his computer into his lap. He started it up and checked his mail. His heart rate sped as he saw Noah’s name in his inbox. He opened the e-mail, eager to read what Noah had written to him.
Evan finished reading the letter. He was such an idiot. He had forgotten that he hadn’t left any contact information with Noah. He hadn’t wanted to put down his house phone number, since at the time he was on the precipice of moving out. He couldn’t afford a cell phone, so his plan was to e-mail Les after he had gotten settled at the motel and give him the number there. In all the excitement over the website and the clinic, he had forgotten to send it.
He was glad Noah hadn’t written him off, though. Noah wanted to work with him enough to go out of his way to track him down. Evan smiled at the thought. He picked up the phone beside the bed, fingers poised over the buttons and ready to dial. Switching his gaze back to the e-mail, he realized Noah had given Evan his own phone number, not Les’s.
Evan was gripped with a sudden case of butterflies. What would he say when Noah picked up? A glance at the alarm clock told him it was 1:27 in the afternoon. Was now a good time to call? He didn’t know what kind of hours porn stars kept. Would he be interrupting?
He dialed quickly before he worked himself up too much. After two rings, Noah picked up, his deep voice resonating in Evan’s ears.
“Hi, Noah, it’s… uhh… it’s Evan. I just got your e-mail. Sorry I didn’t call sooner with my updated contact information, it’s just that I knew I would be moving, and I was going to call you as soon as I’d sorted out where I would be staying, but then I forgot I hadn’t given you my phone number in the first place and so I’m sorry….” He was breathless from the expulsion of information.
Evan had three problems when he was nervous. Either he became too shy to say much of anything at all, or he rambled uncontrollably until the other person shut him up, or he just ran out of things to say. Today it seemed to be the latter.
He could hear Noah’s gentle laugh. “No worries, Ev. Just wanted to make sure you’re still on board with coming up to Newport with us this week.”
“Oh yeah, I wouldn’t miss it.”
“Okay, well the local boys are all going to meet at Les’s place on Saturday morning, then head up to the house together. Out-of-towners will meet us there, and then we’ll all have a bit of downtime before we start shooting on Sunday morning. Sound good?”
“Yep. What time, and is there anything I should bring?”
“We’re meeting around ten thirty. Nothing you have to bring, except clothes. Oh, and your test results.”
“Great. I picked those up yesterday, so I am all set.”
“Good. How are you doing other than that? Feeling okay about all of this? I know you’re a rookie, and I want you to let me know if you’re feeling apprehensive or uncomfortable about anything at all.”
“Not really, I mean I’ve watched some of the videos.” Evan could feel the heat seeping into his cheeks. He was thankful Noah wasn’t able to see him over the phone. His blush had always been one of the things he hated about his pale complexion. “I just really don’t know what to expect.”
“No one does their first time. Don’t stress too much about it. We will ease you into things. It’s not like we’re going to throw you into a double penetration scene on your first morning out.”
The color that had been steadily rising in Evan’s face deserted him faster than a getaway car at a heist gone wrong. Double penetration? He had seen the letters DP on the sheet, but hadn’t yet figured out what they stood for. People actually did that? Jesus Christ!
“Hello? Evan? You still there?”
“Here,” he squeaked.
“Whoa, relax, kid. Was only joking. We’ll take it real easy. I’m just making up the schedule now and if you want, I can delay your start for a day or two so you can see how everything works, maybe watch a couple of scenes being filmed. We’ll take it nice and slow, okay?”
“Yeah, okay.” Evan’s voice still hadn’t returned to a normal pitch. “I guess that would be good.”
“That’s what we’ll do, then. Want you to feel comfortable and relaxed about this whole thing. It’s a job, but it’s sex too, and it’s supposed to be fun, not terrifying.”
“I’m not terrified,” Evan protested as convincingly as he could. He didn’t want Noah to know how scared he really was. This was no big deal. People had sex every day. It was just sex. In front of other people. And a camera. And the potential of hundreds or even thousands of people watching at home. No big deal. “I swear, I’m just a little nervous about the whole thing because I have no idea what to expect. I’m sure I’ll feel better once I’m there and have my bearings a little more. It’s just been a bit of a transition period for me.”
“What do you mean?”
Not wanting to give too much away, Evan gave a brief overview of his current situation and how he had landed himself there. “Well, I graduated a few days ago and had to move out, so I’m just killing time at a motel until Saturday. I’m bored out of my mind, but it’s temporary. I’ll find someplace more permanent after Newport.”
“Where are you goin’?”
“University of Oregon in Eugene.”
“Oh yeah, you said you were going to go to school. What are you studying again?”
“Microbiology and ecology.”
“Oh yeah. Sounds like a heavy load.”
“Not too bad. I like science. I always have. It’s constant. What you see is what you get. Either the data agrees with you or it doesn’t. There is less room for interpretation, less need to guess what a person meant by what they said or wrote. I like the reliability of it.” He paused, the situation coming into focus around him. “Here I am talking your ear off, though. I’m sure you have much better things to do than to listen to me rant on about the merits of the scientific method.”
“Yeah, I have a list of stuff to do that’s at least six miles long, and only a few short days to finish it.”
Evan felt foolish. He must seem like such a loser to this guy, a naïve kid who didn’t know up from down and liked science more than sex. He couldn’t blame Noah for wanting to hang up with him. It was glaringly obvious how different they were, and Evan would never be as experienced and cocksure as Noah seemed.
“Hey, you said you were bored. I’m actually headed out shopping right now. I hate shopping, but if you got nothing better to do, you wanna tag along?”
“Sure! That would be great.” Shit, now he sounded even more like an eager little puppy than before. “I mean, it beats sitting here in this shitty motel room.”
“Alright, gimme the address and I’ll be there to pick you up in half an hour. Sound okay?”
“Yep. I’m in room 136 at the Mountainside Motel at Bradner and Vine.”
“I know the place. See you soon, Ev.”
“Bye.”
Evan hung up the phone and couldn’t believe what had just happened. Noah was coming to pick him up. He wanted to spend time with him. He voluntarily offered to take him shopping. Evan felt like the kid who ended up with the most popular guy in school for a lab partner. He was excited at the prospect of being so close to someone who shone so brightly, but at the same time terrified that Noah would discover exactly what a loser he was. He needed to play this cool.
He took a few steps across the room and into the bathroom. His jeans were a bit too big, bagging in the ass and slightly around the waist, but there wasn’t a lot he could do about that now. He only owned one pair. The T-shirt was okay. It fit better than most he owned. Dark gray with a small yellow logo in the center of the chest, the color somehow made him look less pale and a little more built than he actually was.
He ran his hands under the tap then through his hair, trying to make it cooperate, but as usual, it was a futile cause. Oh well. This was the best he could do with what he had.
Chapter 6
TWENTY minutes later, Bran was sitting in his car in the parking lot of the Mountainside Motel. He had forgotten what a dump this place was. He wondered why the kid was staying in a seedy motel that was known to rent by the hour rather than at home with his family until school started. Bran had to admit he was impressed that Evan seemed so smart. He could never have done anything like that. Never even dreamed of it. Fucking was what Bran was good at, and until his looks went and his body gave up, he would keep on doing it, even if he was sick of it. There was nothing else he was qualified for.
He knocked tentatively at the door. A moment later, Evan opened it looking like sin in a T-shirt in the doorway. Looking past him, Bran took in the room. It was dimly lit, which did nothing to hide the dated bedspread piled in the corner of the room or the hideous wallpaper peeling off the walls, likely weighted down with a heavy layer of nicotine.
The closet was wide open, the door missing. Bran saw Evan’s clothes hanging. Only four or five T-shirts and a light jacket. This was everything he owned? He looked to the table that stood crookedly in front of the closet. A small, neat pile of ramen noodle packets was stacked beside a couple of bottles of water. Is this what he had been living off of? His gaze landed back on Evan, and he found the answer. Evan looked like he had lost a little more weight in the four days since they had last seen one another, and pounds he couldn’t afford to lose.
Despite the obvious malnutrition and oppressive environment, the kid looked cheerful and energetic. He made Bran’s chest ache. He was like a puppy stuck in a dirty cage, obviously abused and hungry, but wagging his tail and licking your hand despite it all.
“Hey, you’re early.”
“Yep, lots to get done, not a moment to waste.”
“Let’s go, then. Oh! Wait, hang on just one second.” Evan darted from the door and into the room to scramble around in his backpack for something. He returned, proudly holding a white envelope.
Bran looked at him questioningly.
“My results.”
Bran took the envelope from him and smiled. “Perfect. I’ll put this in your file. Let’s go.”
Evan followed Bran out to his car and climbed in. They drove toge
ther in uncomfortable silence. Or rather, it was uncomfortable for Bran. He hadn’t felt this out of his element in years, not since he was an awkward middle schooler trying to fight the urge to try to make out with the guy sitting next to him in math class. He hadn’t chosen to spend time with someone outside of work though, either.
Bran was usually in control. Collected and confident about his sexuality, who he was, and who he wanted. Lately it had just been much easier not to want anyone. It complicated things less and led to fewer headaches in the long run. He hadn’t felt the pull toward someone like he did with Evan in a long time. He couldn’t have Evan, though. He was too young. Too naïve. He really needed to stop thinking about leaning over and tasting the skin just below his ear, as inviting as it looked. It was difficult though with the smell of Evan permeating the car. He smelled like soap and light citrus. So fucking innocent it hurt.
He just wanted to take him home and protect him from the world. He couldn’t do that. But he could feed the kid.
“You had lunch?”
“Oh, uh yeah, I’m good.”
Bran knew that was a lie. He had to be absolutely starving. He doubted Evan had much money.
“Well, I haven’t eaten yet. Mind if we stop and grab something?”
“Oh yeah, sure.”
“There’s this diner around the corner that’s not half bad. We can stop there for a bit then head to the mall.”
Evan nodded.
They pulled into the parking lot and Bran threw the car into park before they both climbed out and walked through the door into the ’50s style diner. Diner food had always been Bran’s favorite. He made enough money to keep him dining on caviar and escargot, but who in their right mind would choose bugs and slime over a bacon cheeseburger? His mouth watered in anticipation. He had been busy and had skipped breakfast.
The smell of the greasy food must have been torture for Evan, who looked like he hadn’t eaten a proper meal in days.
The hostess, decked out in a minty-green dress and pink half apron, showed them to a booth by the window. They slid in across from one another, and she placed a menu in front of each of them.