by Genovese, CM
“You may not want to.”
“Of course I do.”
“You want to meet my brothers?”
“Yes.”
“Tonight?”
“Are you asking me out… again? This doesn’t seem your style, Rain.”
“You’re my style, baby girl. You are my style.”
She smiled back at me and it was a pure, genuine, ray of sunshine breaking through that cold day. She wasn’t paying attention when George was giving her instructions, and when he hooked her tube up to the line, it suddenly yanked her forward, causing her to let out a loud, “Whoop! Holy shit!” Then I was coasting up the hill behind her, once again wondering how the hell I was letting myself feel so much for this chick in such a short time.
She beamed the entire way up that hill, clapping her gloved hands together in excitement.
Damn, she is doing a number on you.
When we reached the top and the line let us go, Cassie slid to a stop in front of me. She was up and grabbing her tube before I reached her.
“Come on, slowpoke!” she yelled, hoisting her tube up and walking to the top of our downward slope.
“You fixin’ to wait for me or what?” I called out.
She stopped and gave me time to catch up with her. With our hands linked together again, we stepped up to the slope and stood on flat ground looking down at the blanket of snow that descended and stretched all the way to the parking lot. From where we stood, we could see the peaks of the Alaska Range and even Denali’s Mt. McKinley faintly in the distance.
We stood facing each other but both looking out at the mountains. When you live in a place of such raw and ferocious beauty, you can become numb to it. Every once in a while, I’d catch myself noticing the sights around me. It didn’t happen often, but when it did, it was humbling. Standing there with Cassie, I remembered my dad’s words to me when we stood looking at a similar view.
“Look at that, boy,” he’d said. “You can puff out your chest, you can spit and cuss, and you can curse the entire world around you, but only God’s creations can look you right in the eye and tell you to shut the fuck up ‘cause you don’t know shit. You see those mountains, boy? They been here long before us and they’ll be here long after us. That’s real power. When something makes your breath hitch just from looking at it, that’s real power.”
Cassie sensed it too, and when we turned to face each other, one fleck of snow caught in her eyelash and she fluttered it to try and force it free. Right then, watching her, my breath hitched, and I felt it. That was real power. Reaching up to put my hand behind her head, I pulled her into me and kissed her. She “whooped” for the second time this day, this time much softer, and then she parted her lips and kissed me back.
We were made of fire and the cold melted away on that kiss.
When we were done, she leaned her head forward and pressed her forehead against my chest.
“There’s a lot of stuff you don’t know about me, Rain.”
“Baby, there’s a lot you don’t know about me.”
“I don’t care about any of it.”
“And neither do I.”
Silence. We stood there and didn’t say a word for a full minute. Surprisingly, nobody else came up the hill. This place was packed on the weekend, but on a weekday evening, not so much.
“Are we doing this?” Cassie finally broke the silence.
I don’t know why I hesitated. I hadn’t had an actual woman that was mine and only mine in a long time. This would blow everybody’s minds. BP might have a fucking heart attack. I didn’t care though. Nobody else mattered except this woman standing in front of me and she deserved all I could give her, even if that didn’t amount to much.
“Yeah, I think we are,” I said as I pulled her tighter to me, holding her body close to mine at the top of that hill.
“Don’t ever leave me again like you did the other night,” she said. “Not even if you think I’m mad at you. Not even if you’re mad at me. Promise me that. You won’t ever leave me, and we’ll never end things on a negative note. We don’t go to bed mad. We don’t separate mad.”
This was the tricky part. Negativity seemed to consume me. I noticed the bad in people long before the good. I hated so much and loved so little. In the end, as long as I kept my promise to Cassie and left my anger at the front door, I supposed I could pick it back up on the way out each morning. In the Royal Bastards MC, anger and rage were part of the schtick. They were like my workday briefcase. Letting that go completely would get me killed.
When I didn’t answer, Cassie raised her head and looked me in the eye. “Promise me, Rain.”
I leaned my face close to her and when my lips were only an inch or so away, I whispered, “I promise, baby.” Then, I kissed her again, this time with much more passion than the last time.
“One more thing,” she said. “Slushy. I really want him to stay with me, but he’ll be alone in the apartment all day, and I’m pretty sure the lease stipulated ‘no pets.’”
“I can take him to the MC,” I told her. “Cracker will take care of him. For now. Maybe at some point we can find you a place that’s more pet friendly.”
“I’d like that,” she said with another quick peck on my lips. “Come on.” She giggled as she broke from our kiss and pulled me to the edge of the hill.
We sat down side by side on our tubes, and as I expected things would go from here on out with this woman, we took the plunge. We raced downhill, our hair blowing back in the frigid wind, and we howled into the coming night. Nothing got in our way. We were unstoppable. And for the first time in as long as I could remember, I was fucking happy.
11
Cassie
“Kins,” I said into my phone, calling Kinsey for my routine check-in since she’d sent the Royal Bastards to my door the last time I failed to keep in touch. And thank God she did. “I wish you’d answer your phone now, dammit. Probably flat on your back, legs open, Petros between your thighs. I know how you two are.” I leaned my head back against the wood-paneled wall of the MC bathroom and closed my eyes. “Well, I just wanted you to know that I’ve fallen for one of those bastards too.” I laughed. “Don’t tell anybody on your side ‘cause I don’t want the guys to give him a hard time. I’m at the MC right now and bikers are worse than we are with the gossip and shit. But I really, really, really like Rain, Kins. He’s… I don’t know…. You remember when you told me Petros was different? I get it now. Call me back when you can.”
As I hung up the phone, my thumb ran across my midsection. My scar was across the right side and always reminded me of railroad tracks. Touching it had become a habit of mine. As much as I wanted to forget that night, I couldn’t. It was a part of me now.
“Yo, hurry up in there!” someone called from the other side of the door, startling me and causing me to stand upright again. “I gotta take a shit!”
“Be right out,” I said as I washed my hands in an attempt to pretend I’d been using the bathroom.
This was the boys’ home. I was only a visitor. I’d have to get used to talk of shit, farts, beating off, and boobs. I’d only been at the MC a little over an hour, and most of the guys had covered all those subjects a handful of times already.
“Now this is my fuckin’ jam!” a girl with big, puffy black hair, black mascara curled up at the corners of her eyes, and black lipstick yelled as she put on a new song. She’d used her phone, so I supposed the place was wired for Bluetooth.
I loved oldies music, but I didn’t expect to hear ‘Land of 1000 Dances’ by Wilson Pickett in an MC clubhouse. As soon as the music started, the girl clad in black twisted her hips from side to side with her hands up, fingers pointed out, gesturing for the guys to dance with her.
Beezus didn’t let her down. He shimmied toward her, his big but solid gut moving from side to side. For the first time, I realized he was really handsome. He was like the big lineman who had to settle for seconds because the quarterback was the star and got al
l the hottest women. Rain, Pipeline, Oosik, and Slitz seemed to be the most popular with the women, but Beezus was definitely fun to watch.
“There you are!” a female voice called out. I turned to see Daisy, a cute, dainty girl wearing super short shorts and a pink top. Her hair was up in tight curls and a headband pulled it away from her face. She screamed 1970s porn star, but she was adorable and was the sweetest of the women so far.
“She’s great,” I said, pointing at the woman dressed in black.
“Margarita?” Daisy asked. “That’s Frostbite’s ol’ lady. He’s the club’s VP. She’s fab, but trust me, do not get on her bad side.”
I’d met Frostbite, Frost as it seemed most called him – or VP. He was a little older than the club President, BP, and had long black hair with streaks of grey. He was nice but seemed kind of serious. BP was much more of a teddy bear. Cracker, I wasn’t sure who he was exactly, was excited to take Slushy and get him something to eat when we arrived. Keeping track of all the names was so difficult. And it wasn’t only the MC members but all the women roaming around too.
How many of them has Rain slept with? No, don’t start that. You told him you didn’t care about the past. But… has he fucked Daisy?
“You’re going to love it here,” Daisy assured me as she pulled me by the hand and led me around the place.
The MC was huge. It was in an airplane hangar converted to a nice, cozy, really cool clubhouse, complete with billiards and ping pong tables, a full-size bar, and a living room area with the screen projected onto one of the walls. Right now, it was set to an MMA fight. Two brawlers were going at it in the center of an octagon while the guys shouted at the screen from the couch.
Music blared over the wall-mounted speakers, drowning out any commentators that might have been remarking on the battle. Rain stood behind the couch, watching the fight. I’d left him a few minutes ago to use the bathroom. He saw me walking by with Daisy and nodded in my direction.
God, he is one gorgeous man. You need to hold onto this one.
What would holding onto him mean? Did he understand that I wanted him all to myself? It wasn’t like we’d sat down and hashed out all the details of this whirlwind romance. For all I knew, he had no intention of being faithful because, well, maybe that was how these guys rolled. That’s how it was on TV anyway.
And, if he won’t be faithful, then what will you do, Cassie?
If he couldn’t be content with only me, I would have to cut him loose. I didn’t like sharing my toys. Didn’t like it as a kid, and I damn sure didn’t like it now. His nod seemed to tell me I should stick with Daisy, so I did. I let her show me around.
“That bathroom you were using,” she told me, “I’d stay out of that one if I were you. The guys like that one ‘cause it’s close to the TV. They clog that damn toilet once a night I swear.”
“Nice,” I said.
She laughed. “We have our own bathroom over here. Carousel had it put in for us after enough complaints.”
“Carousel?” I asked.
Daisy pointed at the bar where a bald guy covered in tattoos sat with a tall, kind of sophisticated looking woman on his lap.
“He’s the club treasurer. That’s Kathy, his ol’ lady.”
“His wife?” I asked.
“Nah,” she replied. “His wife’s at home. I ain’t ever met her, but I heard she’s a real bitch.”
And this is the life you’re signing up for?
“Are you with any of the guys?” I found myself asking, knowing the answer I was fishing for.
She looked at me and shook her head. “You’re in love with him, ain’tcha?” I couldn’t answer that, but it seemed I didn’t need to. She cupped two hands over her mouth. “Holy shit. You really are. Be careful, honey. These guys will break your heart if you let ‘em. But, if you can reel one in, he’ll be with you ‘til death.”
‘Til death. I liked the sound of that and hated it at the same time. Still not knowing what these guys did for money, but having witnessed the way they reacted when someone fucked with one of them, I could only imagine the things Rain might be involved in.
“Hey, who’s down?” Oosik, a big, redhead man with a ginger beard asked aloud. His kutte barely fit his massive chest and arms. He was gigantic, and the fact he held a hatchet in each hand only made him all the more menacing.
“Do you know why they call him Oosik?” Daisy asked.
“Huh?”
She leaned in closer to me and whispered, “A walrus has a huge dick. It’s called an Oosik.” She lifted her eyebrows a couple of times.
“Huh?” Then I caught on. “Ohhhhhh. Oh, shit. Really?”
“Same warning I gave you about Margarita. Don’t fuck with him. It’s not worth the pain. Truuuuust me. Couldn’t walk for days. Will not make that mistake again. Whoever said size doesn’t matter wasn’t fucking around with Oosik.”
“Guess that answers my question about you dating any of these guys,” I said.
“Dating? Oh, sweetheart. This is more than dating. You don’t simply break up with one of these guys. And, yes, I’m with Slitz. Oosik was a drunken mistake way back when I first met these guys. Slitz though… he’s a sweetheart… until he’s not.” She shook her head. “Then he’s a real asshole. He never lets his violent side out on me though.”
“Bunch of pussies!” Oosik roared.
“Are you throwing hatchets?” I blurted out before I really gave it any thought.
He laughed and turned away from me.
“Who’s the pussy now?” I said.
“Oh,” Daisy seemed to exhale the sound rather than say the word. “Oh, yeah, no. Don’t do that.”
“What did you say?” he asked, and I thought I caught a hint of an Irish accent.
“That I’ll take you in hatchet throwing any day.”
He pointed an axe in my direction. The other he set on top of his head and scratched with it. “Who are you again?”
“She’s with me,” Rain shouted, and put a hand to his throat. The music was too loud, and it bothered the hell out of me to see him in pain.
“You’re Rain’s woman?” Oosik asked.
“Yeah,” I said, stepping closer to him proudly. “I am. We gonna throw or what?”
Rain and the others who’d been watching TV came closer to us. They lined up off to the side. Oosik nodded and chuckled.
“I like this one,” he said. “Rain, you did all right this time. Let’s do it. Molly, you mind putting on my song? ‘Top O’ the Morning to Ya’ by House of Pain?”
A cute redhead sashayed over to the phone Margarita had used earlier and sifted through the music until she found his song. For a second it sounded like a preacher was about to start a sermon, but then the bass boomed, and the music started. Instantly my head started to bob a bit. I’d never heard the song, but it had a cool vibe to it, like shit was about to go down.
“Come on over here, sweetheart,” Oosik said.
He stood about the standard distance from the wooden board, which looked a lot like a large dartboard, but had a red circle at the center for the bullseye and black circles expanding around it. Near the top left and the top right were the typical blue balls. Small blue circles used to steal the game or, more often than not, to lose the game altogether.
I joined Oosik at the throwing line, and he said, “I’d say ladies first, but nah, this is my house.”
He effortlessly flung one of the axes. The hatchet sailed through the air and landed slightly to the right of the bullseye. His buddies booed him.
“Fuckin’ bullshit,” he said.
He retrieved his axe from the board and moved out of my way. I wasn’t the best at throwing hatchets, but I was pretty damned good. I used to go with Kinsey on Friday nights. We picked up on it quickly, using it as a way to let out aggression.
“Do you mind?” I asked playfully, looking down to suggest Oosik was in my way and needed to move in order for me to throw. He put his hands up and shrugged his shoulders,
sliding out of my way apologetically.
Unlike Oosik, I needed to line up my shot. I couldn’t blindly throw it and expect it to land where I wanted. With my feet squared and my knees slightly bent, I pulled the axe over my head and brought it down slowly to line up my shot. Then, with a deep breath of air, I brought the axe down and let it go just as it passed my line of sight. It sailed into the bullseye, but right on the edge of the circle, and landed with a thud. Everyone around us cheered and made fun of Oosik with short bursts of ridicule.
“Nicely done,” Oosik said as he pulled my hatchet out of the board for me and brought it back. “I see you’ve thrown before.”
“I have.”
“Want to do another round?” he asked.
“I’m game if you are.”
I looked over at Rain and he watched me proudly. He wanted me, I was pretty sure of it by the way he licked his lip.
“I’ve got you on this one,” Oosik said as he lined his shot up this time, a lot more carefully than the first time, and threw the axe dead center of the bullseye. My last had been close to being considered outside the bullseye. His was no question. It was right in the middle.
This was against game rules, but we weren’t playing a proper game anyway, so I chose to break from tradition and prove my dominance by stepping to the line before he even went to remove his hatchet, I lined up my shot, and I threw my axe at the small, blue ball on the left. It landed right in the middle of it, solidifying my badassery.
“What the fuck?” Oosik asked. “No fucking way.”
“You win,” I told him. “I cheated. But I’m still damn good with an axe, wouldn’t you say?”
He threw an arm around me, pointed at Rain, and said, “You’ve got yourself a keeper, mate.”
I knew my man was proud of his woman.
As the crowd dispersed, Rain moved to me quickly, grabbed my arm in a hard grip, and pulled me away. He seemed angry with me, and I couldn’t figure out what I’d done wrong. Had I been too flirtatious with Oosik? I hadn’t meant to be.