Yolanda appeared in the doorway. “Who’s hungry?”
CHAPTER 19
April 18, 2017
* * *
One hour later
It was the first home-cooked meal he’d had in years. It was also the first real family meal Kyle had ever had. Sillow’s daughters would grow up in this strange place, as part of this strange tradition, but it was alright, Kyle thought. The things Yolanda and Sillow had done to warm up the factory made it feel like an actual home.
Even in this room, the walls were still padded. But, with draperies and artwork hanging, you could barely notice that it was once a gymnasium. They’d turned it into a dining room so they could achieve the normalcy of family dinners together, and they’d succeeded. For the first time, the factory building didn’t seem like such a dreary place to Kyle.
“You should check in on your mother now that you’re back,” Sillow said to Kyle.
Kyle nodded as he finished a bite of stew. His mother was the missing piece to this family meal, even if she didn’t necessarily fit in amongst Sillow and his new family . . . Kyle would have to go see her on his own.
“Are we going to stay here now that Kyle is back?” Larkin asked Yolanda and Sillow.
“Of course we are,” Yolanda answered, smiling warmly at Kyle. Then, he saw Yolanda’s eyes get bigger and her attention shift to Kyle’s right, where Allaire looked like she was trying to keep herself from throwing up.
Allaire bolted to the bathroom while everyone sat for a second looking at each other.
“She’s gonna hurl,” Tinsley said with a giggle, which made her sister laugh as well.
Yolanda stood up and took her napkin from her lap, laying it on the table next to her bowl. “I’ll check on her.” She walked toward the bathroom and stood outside the door, speaking to Allaire, but Kyle couldn’t hear what they were saying.
“She’s had something with her stomach for a few days now,” Kyle said to Sillow.
What Kyle didn’t say, of course, was that he was concerned that what Allaire was feeling was somehow related to time weaving. Perhaps she was developing some condition as a result of so many trips through the tunnel. He thought about how they’d definitely changed the outcome of the shooting in San Francisco, saving lives, and certainly altering the timestream in the process. So far, they hadn’t seen any repercussions and Kyle hoped that this wasn’t one. He tried to think back to when Allaire first mentioned her stomach bothering her, but he couldn’t recall. Kyle’s amazing memory was now routinely counteracted by going back and forth through the timestream. Keeping track of exactly what events happened, and when, was nearly impossible for him these days. His photographic memory had been a casualty of time weaving.
A few minutes later, Yolanda walked back through the dining room holding her wallet. “I’m just going to run to Rite Aid for some ginger ale and Pepto. Allaire’s gonna lay down . . . ”
Kyle stood up from the table.
“Seriously, Kyle, sit . . . ” Yolanda said. “Nothing to worry about. She’s just going to rest. She wants you to finish your dinner.”
Kyle tentatively sat down and nodded, polishing off the rest of his bowl of stew, and then going back for seconds, and even thirds.
Later that evening, Kyle joined Allaire in bed.
He was surprised when she turned toward him.
“I thought you were asleep,” Kyle said. “Sorry if I woke you.”
Allaire shook her head. “I can’t sleep.”
Kyle nodded. “The stuff Sillow was telling me, none of it makes perfect sense, but it’s all so unbelievable. He thinks that there’s something on the outside of the tunnel. He says if the tunnel is still shrinking that we need to break through it.”
Allaire smiled at Kyle. He could tell her head was somewhere else.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m such a jerk . . . How are you feeling?”
Allaire nodded and smiled. Her eyes were full. Her face didn’t make it look like she was crying, but her eyes did. “I’m alright.”
“I’m glad,” Kyle said.
“It’s different here now, right?” Allaire said. “Don’t you think?”
Kyle nodded. “I can’t believe what they’ve done.”
“Does it still feel like a sad place to you?” Allaire said.
“Allaire, what’s going on?” Kyle asked.
Tears streamed from the corners of Allaire’s eyes. “It doesn’t feel like a sad place anymore, does it?”
Kyle shook his head. “No. I think it’s the people that make a place feel sad or happy. But a fresh coat of paint doesn’t hurt either . . . You’re not thinking of leaving, are you?
“Of course not,” Allaire said, wiping tears from her face. She moved closer to Kyle now, and grabbed his hand, interweaving her fingers with his. “My entire life’s been here,” she was finally able to say. “I grew up on this floor.”
“You’re so much more than this place, Allaire,” Kyle said to her.
“Can I make somebody happy?” she asked. “What if I can’t?”
Kyle brushed some hair out of her face. “You make me happy . . . What’s going on? Where is this coming from?”
“Do I really make you happy?” she asked. “You know the darkness inside of me. You know the things I’ve done.”
“We’re more than our pasts, Allaire,” Kyle said. “I’m done thinking about what I’ve been. Just because we’ve relived the past over and over doesn’t make it more meaningful. The things I want aren’t in the tunnel. I want the days in between. With you. That’s what I want.”
Kyle pulled her in tight and let her sob against his chest. He stroked her hair, and down the smooth length of her back. Having her in his arms felt more than right. It felt perfect. Everything he’d seen—everything he’d gone through to get to this moment—felt worth it to him right then. There was no one else who would ever belong in his arms like this. He put his lips on her forehead as she cried. He could feel the heat emanating from her sobbing breaths, but still pulled her closer. He had to resist the urge to squeeze her so hard it might hurt her.
She kissed him—little kisses, over and over—and looked him in the eyes. It was the most vulnerable he’d ever seen her. “Do you think a child can grow up happy here?” she whispered.
Kyle smiled at her, looking back at her as deeply as she was at him. “Tinsley and Larkin are going to be great here. We’re a family now. We’ll make this place everything it needs to be for them.”
Allaire buried her head in Kyle’s chest, and for a second he thought he’d upset her. “Not just them,” she said. When she looked back up at him, she was smiling. It was a smile that barely fit between her cheeks.
“What?” Kyle asked, gently moving his hand to her shoulder.
All of a sudden, Allaire’s crying had turned into a case of the giggles. She couldn’t stop herself from laughing. It was one of the first times Kyle had ever seen her relax enough to be silly.
“What are you trying to tell me?” Kyle asked.
She took a deep breath and stopped laughing. She moved her face right up to his again and looked him in the eyes. “Yolanda got me a pregnancy test.”
Kyle reached around her and pulled her closer again. “What?”
“You heard me, Kyle Cash,” she answered.
“And?”
Her smile said it all for him.
Kyle kissed her. “Are you happy?”
She nodded, tears streaming from her face again. “So happy . . . But, are you?”
Kyle was only eighteen years old. The person he was before he ever traveled through a silk blot didn’t know if he’d ever have children, much less soon. He’d wondered, even after he got out of prison, if anyone would ever want to have a family with someone who had killed twelve children. But, that was before Allaire. Before this beautiful woman. Before this person he’d grown with . . . When they met, Kyle was still a guilt-ridden boy in juvenile detention. And Allaire was still a hardened, violent woman.
Kyle was still eighteen, but he’d fallen in love with someone who, when they lived in the same timestream, was thirty-five. They weren’t going to have this opportunity forever, and there was no doubt that he wanted any future that came, so long as Allaire was a part of it. He knew Allaire was going to be an amazing mother, and would pass along to their child all of the love she’d been deprived of.
“Of course I’m happy,” he said. “Happier than I’ve ever been.”
CHAPTER 20
April 21, 2017
* * *
Three days later
It was after their first doctor’s appointment together, when they got to listen to the baby’s heartbeat, that Kyle and Allaire made the decision that she wouldn’t go inside the tunnel again while she was pregnant. They were only one year off from their natural timestreams here in 2017, and it didn’t make either of them comfortable to risk bringing the still developing baby inside the tunnel. Kyle and Allaire knew that they could handle the effects of time traveling, but they’d have no way to know how the fetus would respond. If the baby didn’t have the genetic disposition to time weave, the consequences could be disastrous.
Later that afternoon, Kyle and Allaire were in Sillow’s office, putting together Kyle’s backpack for a trip into the tunnel. All he was planning to do was check whether the tunnel had shrunk or extended since the last time Allaire had measured, or whether it still went to 2054.
Sillow handed Kyle the drill with the diamond bit.
“We can’t drill through the tunnel,” Allaire said. “There’s no way to know what would happen.”
Sillow shrugged. “And, what happens if it shrinks past 2017? We don’t know what happens then either . . . Do you want to take that risk?”
“I still don’t think Kyle should go in there by himself and just start drilling,” Allaire said.
Sillow pointed up at the wall of his office. “Everything I have here says the tunnel is supposed to be temporary. What if it’s us? What if we’re the ones who are supposed to break through? Doesn’t this all feel like a new beginning to you?”
Allaire turned to Kyle. He could see the fear in her eyes. “I know that he’s done a lot of reading up,” she said, pointing at the walls. “And this is impressive. But, you and I have been out there. We’ve seen how powerful all of this is. Whatever’s controlling the tunnel is a lot stronger than we are.”
Kyle dropped the drill into his bag alongside the red tracker ball and stopwatch. This had been Young Ayers’s backpack on their last trip through the tunnel. The paddle with ancient Serican writing that Ayers had found in Yalé’s office was still in the backpack as well. “You’re both going to have to trust that I can make the right decision,” Kyle said to her.
Kyle walked from Sillow’s office to the main factory room and pulled a silk blot off of the rack. Sillow and Allaire followed behind him.
“Are you sure I shouldn’t come too?” Sillow asked.
“Some of the old rules were dumb,” Kyle said. “But keeping one adult Sere here at the factory at all times makes sense. I’m afraid I’ve got to do this myself, Dad.”
“Please be careful,” Allaire said. The look of fear in her eyes was new to Kyle. She wasn’t someone with the temperament to sit on the sideline.
Sillow looked at the two of them and turned around, leaving the room.
“I’ll be okay,” Kyle said.
“I’ve never felt invested in the future before,” Allaire said. “I’ve never really cared about the future. I want to meet our baby, Kyle. I want our child to grow up and have a life.”
Kyle smiled at her. “Our child . . . will have a life.”
“Then, you need to listen to me,” she said. “If there’s anything on the outside of that tunnel, it’s bad. The tunnel has been around longer than you or me, or Sillow. Why would we take any huge risks?”
Kyle felt like he was talking to a different person, but in many ways, he was. Allaire was already a protective mother, even though their baby hadn’t been born yet.
“I promise I’m not going take any unnecessary risks,” Kyle said. “I want to make sure our baby is safe too . . . I love you.”
Kyle kissed Allaire on the forehead and pulled her into his chest.
“Be careful,” she said.
“I’ll be right back,” he answered. “I love you.”
A few seconds later, Kyle ducked into a silk blot and was back inside the tunnel.
CHAPTER 21
April 21, 2017
* * *
Moments later
Just as they’d experienced earlier, the tunnel was louder than it used to be. Kyle tried to pinpoint where the clang, clang, clang was coming from, but it was hard to tell. It sounded as if it were coming from beyond the tunnel—somewhere outside of its walls. As curious as Kyle was about the question of what was beyond the tunnel, he agreed with Allaire that, right now, with a baby on the way, they needed to be protective of the status quo. They wanted their baby to have a life, and angering whomever was beyond the tunnel was not their best way of ensuring stability.
Kyle pulled the metallic red ball from his backpack. He pulled out his stopwatch, and pressed the button on the ball to ensure it would roll back to him. He tossed it into the tunnel, started the timer, and waited.
It was only a little while later that Kyle heard a ping. It can’t be, he thought to himself. If the ball had really hit the end of the tunnel already, it would mean it had shrunk significantly.
When the ball rolled back to Kyle, he sent it through the tunnel again, and again, it timed out to only about ninety seconds, which, Kyle assumed, had to be some kind of mistake. Perhaps there was something else in the tunnel blocking the way? Kyle wondered.
Once the ball rolled back to him, Kyle dropped it into his backpack, along with the stopwatch, and started climbing through the tunnel in the direction of the future. Kyle couldn’t let himself consider the idea that the tunnel had shrunk again. Ayers was dead, as was his young doppelganger. Kyle thought about what Yalé had said to him right before he killed himself. Could I be the problem? Kyle wondered. What if the reason the tunnel is shrinking is because of me?
He continued to climb through the tunnel, past the rung labeled 2018. As he moved past 2018, the clanging sound got even louder, and the air in the tunnel felt different. Kyle climbed through more quickly, moving from rung to rung as fast as his body would let him.
This was the first time Kyle had been alone since Allaire had told him they were going to have a baby. He considered the idea of bringing a baby into such an uncertain world. Other people were getting pregnant right now and had no idea of the tenuous goings-on within the timestream. But, Kyle was actually in a position to impact their fates, and his own. In that moment, he felt an intense pressure because of it.
Kyle began to feel like he was spinning. It suddenly became harder for him to breathe, and he had to stop moving. What’s happening? he wondered. He looked around him, but nothing had changed. The tunnel wasn’t shaking like it had once before. Gravity was not pushing down on him. The more Kyle took shallow breaths, the better he felt and in a few minutes, he realized that it was old-fashioned panic he was feeling—a panic that had been completely self-induced. There was so much more at stake now, and Kyle’s subconscious was onto that fact.
Just as he began feeling better, the spinning feeling started again. This time, he had a clear image in his head the entire time, as he tried catching his breath. He saw Allaire, holding a baby in the factory. Sillow and Yolanda were there. The two girls, too. Kyle searched the mental photograph for himself, but he wasn’t there. Where am I? he wondered.
Once he’d gotten himself under control again, Kyle moved quickly to the rung for 2019, and once he got there, he saw what he had feared. The end of the tunnel was right in front of him.
Twenty months, Kyle thought to himself. Is that all the time the world has left? He banged on the metal blocking his way with both fists. “What the hell?”
He opened the backpack and looked at the drill. He’d made Allaire a promise that he’d be cautious. But neither of them had imagined the tunnel shrinking this much. For all he knew, the tunnel could shrink again as soon as he went back to 2017, and Kyle, Allaire and their unborn child might just evaporate.
He pulled the drill out and decided to make a hole just large enough to look through. He pressed the drill’s trigger and watched the diamond bit spin. He had his doubts that it would even work. He thought of all of the people in the world waiting to meet their unborn children. The fate of the universe felt different to Kyle than it had before. Something theoretical to him had become completely personal the moment he learned that Allaire was pregnant. The bit spun against the heavy metal of the tunnel, but had no effect.
Kyle held the drill in his hand and pointed it at the wall in front of him again. He touched the wall once, then held the drill against it and pressed the trigger again. The tool roared to life and spun against the surface of the tunnel. Kyle drilled for twenty seconds before he pulled the tool away to check his progress. He felt with his hand to see how deeply the diamond bit had penetrated the metal and couldn’t find even a dent. He held up his silk blot to get more light and still couldn’t see anything.
He picked the drill up again and put his body weight against it, holding down the trigger tightly. Kyle drilled again for over a minute. This time, though, he knew he wasn’t making any progress because the bit kept slipping. He couldn’t even get enough of a foothold with the diamond bit to keep the drill in one place. He pushed even harder, driving the drill against the metal, and tried for a few more seconds. Just as he was about to give up, the diamond drill bit snapped, falling with a ping to the floor of the tunnel near his knees.
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