“Sissy.” Abigail gasps breathlessly.
“Yeah?” I reply just as breathlessly.
“Do you want to try on the next one?” she asks, after an eternity of us staring at my reflection in the mirror.
“No,” I respond quietly. I found it. This is perfect. “Can you get them?”
“No,” she agrees, still staring at me. After a moment, she shakes her head, almost frantically, as she responds, “Yes,” then pushes the curtain aside enough to let her through.
I slide the curtain all the way to one side, then grasp the side of the skirt and lift the train, so it won’t drag along the floor. I carefully stride over to the center of the dressing rooms, where a large three panel mirror stands, with bright, but soft, recessed lighting above. I release the skirt and train, then sway back and forth gently while I study the sparkles of light dancing off the rhinestones.
“Just like a princess,” I murmur to myself. His princess. A collective round of gasps gets my attention, and my eyes fly to my family standing behind me.
“Jaycee, my God, you are so beautiful, and the spitting image of your momma,” Aunt Savannah exclaims, stunned and without thought, and I slowly turn around to face her. “I mean, wow,” she murmurs.
I look over my shoulder at the mirrors, and allow my gaze to travel across my reflection. Is my mom here with me after all this time? She didn’t even know me, not really. Just like I didn’t know her. Wouldn’t she be with my brothers, not me? Oddly, the thought of her not being here makes me feel a little disappointed. I’ve always thought about Grandpa not being here to give me away. Not only did I miss out, but so did he. My eyes drift closed, knowing my mom probably dreamt of this day too. Even though it might not strike me to miss her, maybe wherever she is, she misses me and us sharing this day together. Maybe she found a way back to spend a little of it with all of us. This new revelation startles me speechless as I face everyone again.
“Oh honey, you are breathtaking,” Violet coos.
“Aunt Jaycee,” Callie chimes with her little jaw dropped. “Are you a princess?” She stares up at me, waiting for my response.
“I feel like one, Callie,” I confess.
“If you’re a princess, then you have to have a prince,” she informs me, and I smile down at her.
“You’re very right, Callie, and I do have a prince. My very own knight in shining armor,” I share, while happy tears fill my eyes.
“Uncle Max,” she squeals in joy.
“Yes.” I sniffle and giggle. “Your Uncle Max is my prince.”
Ana steps forward and takes my hand. “You are so beautiful my future daughter. Always remember, a prince without a princess is just a man. You, my dear, you made him a prince. I’m so very happy for you two. I love you.” Ana releases my hand, then carefully pulls me into hug.
“Thank you, Ana. I love you too,” I reply.
Marceline comes in with a hoop skirt, and ushers me back into the dressing room, then closes the curtain. “This is definitely your dress, sweetheart. You’re just lovely. This will make it even more perfect.” She gestures to the hoop skirt. “Back in the day, when woman wore gowns like this, the hoop skirts they wore were made with different sized steel hoops, depending how wide they wanted the skirt to be. You don’t need much, but a little poof will be nice,” she educates me as she kneels down and pushes up my skirt. “Hold it as high as you can,” she instructs. Not bothered by the fact that I’m in nothing but my undies, she slides the skirt up my legs while I hold the dress high.
“They couldn’t sit down unless it was on a stool, and these things were as heavy as a bag of bricks, as well. Women also had to very careful, because if they sat wrong–boop–the front of the dress would pop up, exposing all their goodies,” she goes on from under my skirt while she giggles, and so do I. “But nowadays, they are made of layers and layers of cotton and silk, and nylon hoops that are lightweight.” She comes back up and stands, then helps me situate the skirt.
“This is just so you can get a feel. You can wear a larger one, or a smaller one; it depends on what you want. You are also able to sit in this without really having a problem, unless you’re in need of the ladies’ room, then take help, lots of help. This,” she goes on and holds up an elastic strap attached to the train. “Fits around your wrist if you want to hold the train yourself, but also,” she turns me, so I can see the back of the dress in the mirror. “There are three buttons here,” she explains and holds up the train, then flips the bottom over and shows me three button holes. “These go here.” She holds the holes to the buttons. “So, when you’re dancing and such, you just connect these and you’re good to go. Now, come on back out.” She walks me back out to the mirrors, and then arranges the train while I stare at the dress.
“Jaycee, I’m so glad you didn’t settle,” Abigail remarks. I nod in agreement, along with Ana, my aunts, and Violet.
After I remove the dress and carefully place it back in the plastic garment bag, we all make our way to the counter. I liked exactly the way the skirt was, because it wasn’t too poofy at all, and I was able to move around okay, so Marceline spent a few minutes rummaging around her store room, where she found a new hoop skirt identical to the one I tried on. After Marceline gets everything packed way, Violet pays, and we head out. It feels like the heaviest weights have been lifted from my shoulders. I’m even breathing easier.
“Okay, let’s grab some lunch and then we need to go back to my house, so I can get on the alterations,” Grandma directs. We head to Murf’s, where we sit in the enclosed outdoor seating area and chat about anything and everything, but mostly we chat about the dress.
3
Back at the house, we all stand around the living room, and I watch as Grandma, Violet, and Aunt Savannah share a glance, before they all give me their attention.
“After we take in the dress, I’d like you to see a few things, of your momma’s, okay?” Grandma asks.
“Of course, Grandma.”
Abigail and I go back into my old bedroom, which is now Grandma’s sewing room, and she helps me back into the gown and hoop skirt. Grandma comes in and suggests we do the alterations in the living room, where everyone can sit down and visit while we work. She guides me through the house to a footstool in the middle of the room, and I carefully step up then watch Grandma. She grabs her measuring tape and slings it around her neck, then slips her pin cushion with wristband on. Ana, Violet, Aunt Savannah and Paige settle back on the two white with wood trim camelback sofas, while Abigail sits in Grandma’s pale green wing chair. Callie comes up and stands next to Grandma with a little pin cushion on her wrist as well, only with no pins or needles. I can’t help but smile at the sight, and how sweet it is.
“It doesn’t need much work. I’m going to start on the bodice. Do you know how high of a heel you’re going to wear?” Grandma inquires, while she adjusts different sections of the dress.
“I was actually thinking of wearing my pink and tan cowboy boots, but I don’t know now,” I reply and frown as I take in the beauty of the gown.
“Is that what you want?” Aunt Paige asks.
“I did, but this dress makes me want to find the most beautiful pair of heels.” My eyes skirt everyone, asking for confirmation.
“Like I told Allie when she married Jesse, the only rules for your special day are the ones you make,” Aunt Paige reaffirms, and I smile, loving her for letting me decide.
“No, I want to wear heels, just like Cinderella. Maybe I’ll wear my boots when I change into my reception dress, when I pick one.” Ana suggested we change before we leave our reception, and I liked the idea, but Max said he’d probably just stay in his suit. “Grandma, it won’t be more than three and half inches...can’t walk in anything higher.” She glances up at me. “Safely,” I add and everyone in the room laughs.
“Okay, honey. Let’s get this gown taken in.”
I stand with my gaze down on Callie as she listens to Grandma explain what she’s doing,
and Grandma even lets her pin a few pins along the hem.
Standing up here all this time, I’m getting a little thirsty. I’m about to ask for drink when my phone rings inside my purse. “Violet, will you grab that for me?” She reaches inside and pulls my phone out, then hands it to me. My heart thumps insanely as I stare at my most favorite picture of Max, as it flashes on the screen. I snapped it one afternoon when we were getting ready to go for a ride on his bike. He was straddling it with all his gear on, except for his helmet. His big booted feet on the gravel drive, turning the key as he prepared to start it. He was so handsome, I almost missed taking the picture, because like so many moments with him, I’m lost in the feeling of being in a dream. I can’t wait to tell him that I found his dress.
“Hello?” I answer, after I swipe the screen and place it to my ear.
“Hey, love. How’s it going?” Max’s voice rumbles in my ear, sending goosebumps across my skin. Everyone and everything disappears, as I concentrate on Max’s voice.
“I found it,” I whisper.
“You found it,” he repeats back, not a question. I hear him sigh, and I know it’s in relief.
“Grandma is doing the alterations now,” I share.
‘That’s good,” he murmurs.
“Yes. Good,” I murmur back.
“It’s really the one? You didn’t just, you know, settle because of earlier?” he asks with a touch of guilt lacing his tone.
“It’s really the one, sugar. Even if you don’t believe me now, you will when you see me rush down the aisle to get to you in it. You’ll know then. It’s the one,” I promise.
“Jaycee?” Grandma calls, and I partially snap out of my Max haze. “Um, go on and tell Blue and Nick to head over here. I’m going to call everyone together. We’ll have dinner here tonight,” she decrees. I nod while I watch Violet grab her phone and head out of the room. She’s going to bring everyone in for support, but not just for me, for each other.
“Max…” I begin.
“I heard her. We’ll head over soon. Nick ended up buying a bike. We’ll go drop off his Jeep then ride over.”
Abigail’s “whoops” have my gaze slicing to her. She’s on the phone, presumably with Nick, and I guess he’s just told her he bought the bike, because she’s jumping up and down.
“That’s awesome,” I say through a giggle.
“Okay, see you soon. Love you,” he replies.
“Love you too,” I whisper.
4
“I called Stone and the boys. They’ll head over soon,” Violet informs us as she reenters the room a few minutes later. She sits back down on the couch and rubs her hands down her jeans. She’s nervous, which makes me nervous.
“Violet? Are you okay?” I prod, and she offers me a hesitant smile.
“I’ve thought about this for a while, and I just want to tell you before…” she glances around nervously, then back at me. “I know I’m not your mom, but I love you.”
I take in a deep breath and smile at her. “I’ve never doubted your love for a moment, Violet,” I assure her.
“Your dad...he loved your mom more than you’ll ever know. I know talking about her is tough on him,” she shares. She hastily reaches in her purse sitting on the table next to her. While she rummages through it, she goes on. “He confided that he hates–and your daddy, he doesn’t hate–but he does hate the drunk driver that stole Siobhan from all of you. That driver spent a lot of years in jail for making the choice to get behind the wheel of that car. Don’t know where he is today, but sure do hope he’s changed.” When she cast her eyes back at me, I witness anger and sadness wash across her beautiful face, with a few tears pooling in the corners of her eyes. I glance at her hand and see she’s holding package of travel tissue. “After all these years, it still infuriates him that she’s not here to share things with all of you, but mostly you in particular being her daughter. Please be patient with him,” she requests, while dabbing her eyes. “Your daddy can be stubborn and hold things in, rather than talking them through. Your brothers are the same,” she sighs. The thought of Max being taken from me, like my mom was taken from my dad, makes my blood run cold, and my heart physically hurts. “I guess what I’m saying is, Stone does mad and happy, and even sweet, but like with your grandpa’s death, he doesn’t do loss very well,” Violet concludes.
“Of course,” I assure her. “I understand.”
“I feel like I’ve done you a disservice,” Grandma confesses. “When your momma passed, we all worked so hard to keep her memory alive, but as time went on we focused on the present rather than the past, thinking that was best. Now, I realize we shouldn’t have done that at all. I should have spent more time talking to you about her. Siobhan, your momma, was a beautiful girl, and your grandpa and I adored her,” Grandma admits.
I don’t like to see everyone so upset over this, so I try to ease their misguided guilt. The only person who should feel guilty is the drunk driver who took her from all of us.
“Grandma...everyone, listen to me, please. Sadly, I didn’t know my mom because of a person who made a terrible choice, not you. I wish I could have known her, but I’ve had a wonderful life in spite of her not being here.” Then I make my own selfish and guilty startling confession. “And knowing her may have meant I wouldn’t have you.” I point to Violet. “And you.” I gesture to Abigail. “Or what I had with you and Grandpa.” I glance at Grandma. “What I do know about her is, she gave me a beautiful gift. Her and Dad both. They gave me my grandparents, Violet, and Abigail and Chase, so it’s okay,” I try to assure them. They all nod, as Grandma goes back to work on the alterations in silence.
Over the next thirty minutes, Grandma adds about billion additional pins to my dress and Abigail gets me a bottle of water. I’ve just stepped down from the stool, and I’m about to head back to the other room and change, when the front door opens unexpectedly. We all gasp, and in flurry of panic the women surround me in an attempt to block me from view of whoever walked it. I peek around Violet and see my dad, and he’s frozen in step, staring at me.
“Jaycee. You...you look like... like a princess,” he mutters, and the women stand back so he can get the full view of me.
“That what I said, Uncle Stone,” Callie chimes in with a smile.
My dad glances down at her and grins. “Well you were right, honey.” Dad’s attention returns to me then. “I’d hug you, but I don’t want to mess up your dress.” His words are thick with emotion.
“Well, you’d also get poked with a million pins, Dad,” I warn with a smile, and he nods. “I’m sure a kiss on the cheek won’t do any damage though.” I step forward, and stand up on my tippy toes to give my bear of a dad a kiss on his cheek.
“Beautiful,” he whispers.
“Thank you, Dad,” I reply, feeling a bit emotional myself now. “I’m going to go change. I’ll be back,” I advise.
“Okay,” Dad’s deep voice replies.
5
Abigail helps me pull off the dress and hang it up, along with the hoop skirt, when we hear voices on the other side of the door. But it’s mumbling, so we can’t make out what’s being said. We glance at each other in silence for a moment, before she mutters, “I’ll be back.”
“Okay.” I give her the best smile I can muster, as I prepare to face the ghost of my mom. I’ve just pulled on my sundress, when Abigail walks back in.
“They’re in Grandma’s bedroom. There’s a beautiful, cherry wood, hope chest lying open next to her bed, and she’s pulling things out of her closet. You okay with this?” Abigail questions, concern evident in her tone.
“It’s strange, is all. I don’t know how to explain it. Having so many people around me, I never felt like anything lacked. It all seemed balanced, even though maybe it really wasn’t. I would love to know about my mom. I mean, it can only add to the wonderful I have already. I know I look like her, and how she died, but I admit that’s pretty much it. Uncle Duke told me a while back, she almost died
giving birth to me. I’d never known that either,” I share, then study my feet as I slip on my sandals.
“You know,” Abigail begins, and I return my attention to her. “No matter what, nothing will ever change what’s between any of us. That’s a promise,” she vows.
“I realize that now, but I didn’t then–when I was younger. I guess as I got older, I just got used to nudging thoughts of her aside. God, she gave me life. I should have invested more to her memory. All I did was shove her away.” I cast my gaze away from Abigail as a wave of shame seeps into my heart.
“Jaycee, don’t,” Abigail murmurs. “You didn’t know her, and this was not your fault. It just was. You were still in diapers and drinking from a bottle when she was taken from you. You don’t know what you don’t know, sissy,” she says, endeavoring to ease my guilt.
“Yeah, I guess,” I somewhat agree. That does make sense, but still, it seems she made her way back to me after all this time, even though I’d all but forgotten her. A wave of remorse almost knocks me over admitting this.
“Let’s wait in the living room until they’re ready,” Abigail suggests as she struggles to rescue me from my sadness.
“Okay.”
6
“Hey girls. Jaycee, um, will come with me?” Dad asks cautiously. I glance at Abigail, and she gives me a soft smile and nod of encouragement.
On that note, I stand and follow Dad from the living room to Grandma’s bedroom. When I cross the threshold, I notice a few photo albums and clear plastic storage bags, ranging in different sizes, laid across the bed. My view scans the room, and I see the cherry wood hope chest Abigail told me about, and it is beautiful. It has Chippendale legs, and the smooth varnished top is braced open on brass hinges. Before I check it out, I stride over to the edge of the bed and pick up one of the clear bags that contains a necklace made of macaroni, and it’s labeled, Jake ~two years old, in beautiful handwriting. How cute. I sit down on the edge of the bed and pick up more. One contains a lock of hair and is marked, Jesse~ first haircut. Another has a gray and orange pacifier in it, that reads, Bad Boy, don’t try me. I don’t see a name, so I flip it over and see its marked, Nash, and I burst into laughter.
Forever & A Day Page 4