“That’s us,” Violet replies.
“Well, come on. Y'all are going take up our backroom, but we don’t mind. Matter-of-fact, when I told Skeeter, the owner, we had a large party coming and your name, he remembered y'all. Said you hadn’t been up in couple of years. Wasn’t sure what happened,” she rattles on as she grabs a stack of menus and guides us to a back room. “So, where y'all been?” she asks, joking, but we all take on a somber face.
“We should have come sooner.” It’s Grandma who speaks up. “It’s what my husband would have wanted. It’s just been tough,” she replies to the waitress. The sweet woman reaches out and gently squeezes her arm, offering her condolences.
“Lost my Van last year, I understand. Nothing seems the same or worth doing, since he left me.”
“Luckily, I have all of them to remind me to go on,” Grandma shares while looking at all of us, and the waitress gives an understanding smile.
“I have ten grandchildren, and boy do they keep me busy.” She gives a soft laugh, and Grandma smiles. She leads us through a maze of tables and chairs, until we walk under an arch that leads to the back room.
“How’s this?” She points to the tables pulled together to make one long one.
“It’s perfect,” Grandma says, and sits down towards the end.
We all gather around taking seats, with Bradley and Conner sitting close to Grandma, and Uncle Duke and Aunt Savannah flanking her other side. I give my attention to our waitress as she hands me a menu, and see she’s in jeans and a Blue Bonnet Cafe shirt. Her name tag reads, Rose, and she has super short gray hair that’s styled really cool. She makes her way around, continuing to pass out menus while taking drink orders. It’s not hard; pretty much everyone orders sweet tea or lemonade, with a Dr. Pepper and Big Red thrown in here and there, and waters all around.
I attempt to study the menu, but my thoughts stay on what Grandma shared with Rose. She’s suffering much more heartbreak than I realized. I mean, I know she misses Grandpa, but she doesn’t talk about it. I guess her and I are alike in that way. We just don’t want to burden anyone with our pain. Now I understand what Max meant when he made me promise to let him help me. I want to help Grandma, but she’s keeping her pain inside just like I did. And I know that it would never matter how close I stay to her, or how much I love her, or any of us do, it will never be enough to fill the void of Grandpa not being her with her.
I glimpse at Jesse, who’s sitting across from me, and his eyes on her too. Allie notices as well, and puts her hand on top of his and squeezes. I scan the table, and everyone is holding their menu, but their eyes are on her. She glances up, catches all of us staring at her and sighs. I want to offer her words, something, anything to heal her, but I’m lost.
“Please don’t hurt for me,” Grandma requests softly. “I know you all carry your own hurt missing Colton. Don’t take on mine too. We all miss him. Nothing we can do except love one another as best we can to help get through this, but we’re never going really get past it. I know I can’t. And here’s the thing.” She smiles and sets her menu down. “I don’t want to.
“The fact that my days and nights are filled with him still, even if only through my thoughts or dreams, even if it’s the only way, I’ll be okay. I can’t touch him, but I sure do feel him. I talk to him every day and you know what? He talks back. I miss his touch more than I could ever convey, but I have no choice but to deal. I know he never really left me, or any of us. He wouldn’t have. We were his everything.”
She’s right, and I know he’s still with me. He’s still with all of us. Today, hearing his voice, I know this without a doubt. I turn and smile up at Max. He leans in and gives my nose a peck, and I lean into him resting against his shoulder.
“Y’all had enough time. Y’all ready to order?” Rose walks back, carrying a tray loaded down with our drinks. As she hands them out, everyone makes their final decision. I’m getting the cheese enchiladas, and Max is getting the pork chops.
“I think we’re ready.” Grandma glances around the table and smiles.
Rose makes her way around the table, not writing down a thing, listening to all of our orders. She gets to Connor and he asks what we’re all wondering.
“You don’t need to write all this down?”
“Oh, sweetheart, I’ve been doing this for fifty years. Haven’t had to write an order down in forty-nine. And never got one wrong, I’ll add.” She smiles at him as she walks back around, and gathers up the menus, then leaves to place our very extensive order.
We sit around talking about our day on the lake, laughing and joking around. We all got a little sun, but thanks to Aunt Savannah and the huge supply of sunblock she stored on the boat, we applied it every little while so none of us got burned. A little while later, Rose returns with our plates layered along her arms, not a tray, and hands out our meals without spilling a drop of food. And true to her word, not one is wrong.
30
After everyone finishes their dinner, we all order dessert. The Blue Bonnet Cafe is known all over Texas for their pies. I get what I always get, chocolate pie, and it’s delicious.
“I don’t know about anyone else, but man I’m getting sore,” Jesse complains, and rolls his neck and shoulder.
“Nope, not the only one,” Jake adds in, groaning.
“Damn, glad y'all said something. I thought it was just my old age,” Uncle Duke jokes while stretching out his arms.
“Not me,” Abigail chimes.
“That’s actually shocking after that major wipeout,” Jesse barks out laughing, and so does everyone else.
“Jaycee?” Jake asks, grinning.
“Ummm, a little,” I whisper, a little overcome as I think about it. I finally did it. Grandpa wasn’t here to see it, like I always thought he would be. Either, pulling me behind the boat or in the water helping me set up, but I know without a doubt he was with me.
I glance around the table at everyone, taking them all in. My brothers, sister, and cousin. My uncles and aunts. My sweet grandma. My dad and Violet. But mostly, my Max. I watch Allie take Jesse’s hand, soothing him over something only they know, and it’s then I realize Allie is to Jesse, what Max is to me. Kore is Jake’s. I’m sure Victoria has helped Chase, and Raleigh would help Nash if he’d let her, and Nick has definitely helped Abigail.
These people do not share our blood, but without even realizing it, they are the very thing that has held this family together and helped us make it to this very day. They’re our shoulder to cry on. Our go-to person, when we are in need. Our glue, when we’re breaking. The confidant to our secrets, even the painful ones. This is our family now. The McGinty’s and the ones that love us. I may take the Bradshaw name, but I’ll always be a McGinty. As time goes on, I know this will still change for the better. With Codi Lynn on the way, and Max and I trying to have a baby as well, our family will grow.
If my brothers wouldn’t have forced me out to Gruene, that fateful night, I wouldn’t have set out on a path that led me to this very day. If my Uncle Duke wouldn’t have made me believe in myself and my strength, I wouldn’t have fought to escape and be here. If Chase, Nash, and Max wouldn’t haven’t pulled me from that lake after I went off that cliff and breathed life back into me, I wouldn’t be here. I look around the table and realize, every single person has brought me back to life. Kore’s care, as my nurse in the hospital. Callie’s sweet smile and laugh. Uncle Brock’s seeing what was going on, the bruises. My dad’s strength, and Violet’s love. Abigail’s anger to my pain, and her devotion. Grandma’s beautiful strong silence, while we sat together just rocking in the chairs on the front porch. Me, lost in thoughts and in my pain, even if I didn’t admit to anyone. It’s then I realize how close she’s kept to me. She never pushed me to talk, but she was within reach if I needed her. But Max. My Max. If I wouldn’t have woken to his beautiful face that day in the hospital, I know, without a doubt, my life would be very different. His love–so strong, so true–healed ever
y wound, inside and out. Once again, they’re here for me, and although the road was tough, everything is as exactly as it should.
“I just want to say something to all of you, if you don’t mind.” My lips twitch when I hear all my brothers grumble in protest. I gather my words as best I can, before trying to convey my deep feelings of love and gratitude.
“I don’t want to drudge up any painful memories for anyone, but I want you to know how much you’ve done for me. There was a point in time that I wanted to give up on all my dreams, and I did. When Grandpa died, I was lost.” I scan the table and see everyone is listening. I glance down at Max and see he’s watching me, too. “I remember thinking I would end up an old cat lady.” I laugh and give my attention back to the table, but no one else is laughing, and I become serious. “None of you would let that happen. Then, well, you all know what happened.” I frown when they all tense.
“I never imagined that I would survive that. I just knew I was broken. Broken beyond repair, but you all didn’t let that happen either. If someone told me back then I’d be in this very spot, doing this today, I wouldn’t believe them. Nope.” I shake my head. “God and you.” I look around again, then stare down at Max with a smile before glancing back at everyone. “Our friends and family that will be arriving soon, you were, and are, the reason I’m here, and I just want to say thank you. Mostly, I want you to know that I’m not hiding scars. There’s no hidden pain that I’m keeping from you. I do miss Grandpa and carry that pain, but I know you all do too. But other than that, I’m good. I’m better than good. You all made sure of it. I want the same for you. I wish I could have you unsee the things you saw. I wish I could take your pain as well. Take it because I know what to do with it. I gave mine to God. He’s taking care of it now. Since I know you’d never give me your pain, please give Him yours as well,” I plead. I smile at them, then gaze down at Max with my heart in my throat, knowing he played the biggest part in my healing, and my eyes turn glassy. Max scoots back in his chair, stands and pulls me into a tight embrace.
“I love you,” I tell him softly.
“I love you too,” he replies, and pulls me back so he can see my face.
“Because forever will never be long enough.” I reply.
31
Back at the resort, the family decides to hang out in the lobby before retiring for the night. It’s a beautiful lobby with large leather couches, cowhide rugs, longhorn skulls and horns on the walls, mixed in with different types of rustic art. In the middle is a two-sided fireplace, the other side opening up to the lobby near the check-in desk.
Callie is wide awake after eating an entire piece of chocolate pie and, other than her hopping around all over the place, we all settle into the couches. A few chairs are drug in from the dining room, thanks to the hotel staff.
“Tomorrow, you girls are going to show me your skiing skills, right?” Grandma asks, and Abigail and nod. “Good. We’ll go out first thing. Tomorrow, we eat lunch and dinner at the cabin. I’m going into town to get a brisket and some sausage. Going to have the regular sides, I guess,” she informs us all.
“I’ll help,” Aunt Savannah offers.
“Thank you.” Grandma replies. “Duke, do you mind getting the smoker started before you head out on the lake?”
“Mom, I’ll stay behind with y’all,” he offers.
“That’s not necessary, honey. I know you want to be out on the boat.”
“Actually, I’m pretty sore,” he admits, and stretches out his arms again. “Brock and Stone can take the boat out for the day. I’d love to spend the day with you.”
“I would love that, too.” She smiles. “Maybe we can even go out on a sunset ride,” she suggests, and Uncle Duke smiles and nods at her.
“I used to love going out with you and Grandpa for those sunset rides. He’d make me wear one of those obnoxious orange life jackets. I would lay down between the seats and fall asleep,” I reminisce.
“Then you’d feign sleep, so he’d hold you all night,” Uncle Duke shares with a chuckle. I glance at him, grinning, and he winks.
“Grandpa was the man,” Chase announces, and we give him our attention. “Between Dad and him, I was able to get my truck restored. They spent so many weekends helping me work on it. They taught me everything I know,” he shares.
“Dad taught me everything I was able to teach you,” Dad replies. He begins to laugh to himself, before letting us all in on why. “Only he had much more patience by the time you all came along.” He laughs again. “Duke may favor him, as far as looks, and damn the man was smart like Brock, but I inherited my temper and colorful vocabulary from him.” He chuckles, along with Grandma, Uncle Duke and Brock.
“What?” and, “no way!” can be heard around the lobby.
“Oh, yes.” Dad grins and settles back. “Quite often you would hear crashes come from his workshop. When he couldn’t get something to work, he would not hesitate to chuck a tool at the wall. Mom forbid us from going out there when we were little.”
“If he was working on one of the cars, you did not want to be the one he assigned to hand him tools,” Uncle Brock says, and throws his back laughing. “He would be under the car on his creeper, ask for something I’d never heard of, and I’d hand him my best guess only for it to be wrong most of the time.” He shakes his head, and the remnants of laughter still ring through his words. “He’d roll out glare at me like I was crazy and say, boy,” Uncle Brock lowers his voice and barks softly with a smile, imitating Grandpa. “I saw his lips twitch most times, before he’d sit up and get the tool himself. Never said much other than that and grunted. Sometimes he cussed and sometimes he’d chuckle, but his expressions were priceless.”
“Remember how he hated sweet tea?” Jake asks, and everyone laughs.
“I never understood that,” Grandma adds, shaking her head. “Every day I had to make him his own pitcher of tea. I didn’t mind though,” she shares while grinning.
“We used to switch out his glass for sweet tea at dinner,” Nash admits with a smirk.
“The face he’d make when he’d taste it.” I giggle. “Grandpa did not like sweet tea.”
A round of “no’s” can be heard from everyone as they laugh.
“When he’d hit his little toe on something?” Jesse groans, and we all cringe.
“That’s when that colorful vocabulary resurfaced,” Dad says while chuckling, and Violet looks at him like he’s crazy.
“I never heard Grandpa Colton talk like that,” Violet scoffs.
“Well, by then Mom figured out how to work her magic. Got him to calm down,” Dad explains.
“Oh, I didn’t do a thing to stop him.” She laughs.
“He just stopped?” Bradley asks.
“He did. The day we set up a white crib with pink linens in our bedroom, he began to watch himself. Didn’t want Jaycee, then of course Abigail, to mimic him. This excludes when he hit his little toe,” she admits, and everyone nods and laughs.
“How did you meet him?” Connor asks, and melancholy crosses her face as she gives us her best attempt at a smile.
“Growing up, I lived out in Somerset. Back in the early 1900’s, a farmer off the old farm road that ran through town, hit oil when digging for a water well. The area took off when the big oil companies laid a pipeline down. There was also a lignite coal mine nearby and later farmers settled. Your great-grandparents property was rich was oil, and drilled quite a few oil wells that did really well.
“The house we lived in was small. Only one bedroom, and it was pink with white trim, and it sat on a hill. When I was baby, I actually slept in a bureau drawer in their bedroom. As I got older, my daddy added on an extra bedroom, and my momma painted it pink like the outside of the house. She loved pink, and Daddy did all he could to make her happy, so anything pink, he’d shower her in pink gifts. I had a beautiful canopy bed, and all the bedding and curtains were white with frills.
“About the time I graduated high school and sta
rted college, they decided they wanted a bigger home in the city. All the colleges were in San Antonio, or Austin, and further out. I suppose they didn’t want me to make that drive every single day, or they got tired of the oil hands hitting on me.” She giggles.
“I bet,” Bradley agrees with a smile along with all of us.
“Grandpa told us he kept his shotgun loaded, and was more than eager to put some buck shot in the hide of those workers if they came sniffing around his only daughter,” Uncle Duke teases, but I can tell he’s serious.
“Daddy didn’t want me to marry an oil hand,” she admits. “None of them much interested me anyway, even though some were pretty handsome,” she says, and we act shocked as she waggles her eyebrows at all of us, causing gasps and giggles. “Momma and Daddy didn’t really have to work, with the royalties from the wells, but they were workers and they got bored doing nothing. Their generation didn’t sit still. They were always working. So, we packed up and moved into a lovely home near downtown, maybe ten minutes from our home now.
“Across the road from our neighborhood on New Braunfels Street, a store went up for sale. Momma and Daddy bought it, and started up a soda shop. It was a drugstore as well. Over the next four years, when I wasn’t in classes at Saint Mary’s, I’d come help out and work the counter. Your grandpa came in one day, and we caught each other’s eyes. The next day, he came in again. Needless to say, he came in every day after.
“We started dating but about seven months in the draft was instituted and he had to go. I knew, without a doubt, he was one and he felt the same, so before he went down to the post office to sign up, we got married. Nothing fancy. I wore my momma’s wedding gown, and my daddy gave me away. Colton’s parents came, as well, along with his siblings. We got married at the Methodist Church, just up the hill on Fresno. The one with the large stain glassed window. We had maybe two weeks together before he was shipped off, and I didn’t see him again for almost seven months.
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