BOTTOM BITCH
THE REVENGE KILL
Racquel Williams
Copyright © 2014 by Racquel Williams
Published by Sullivan Productions, LLC
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright laws. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to any person dead or alive, events or places are purely coincidental.
DEDICATION
I dedicate this book to my three sons; Malik, Jehmel and Zahir. Words can never explain the love I feel for all three of you. I am blessed to be able to be on this journey and to be able to watch y’all grow up. I love you guys with everything in me. I pray Allah continues to bless and protect my greatest treasures.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
First and foremost, I give all praises to Allah. Without him, none of this would be possible. I am forever grateful and definitely blessed.
To my Mom Rosa, thank you for being a rock in my life and also the lives of my boys.
To my other half Carlo; you made it possible for me to focus on being a full time writer. You are the force behind the scene. Thank you.
To my sister Papaya; blood couldn’t make us any closer. Thanks for sticking with me through the laughter and the tears. I love you.
To Stacey Thomas, Ebonee Abbey , and Charmaine Galloway. I can’t thank you guys enough, but please know I appreciate the love and support. I am forever grateful.
To Ambria Davis, I called you my little sister because, you are just that. I am happy that our path crossed and we are able to weather this storm together.
To Rita and Charles King, two of my biggest supporters. I appreciate the love that you guys have shown me.
To Kiera Northington, Smith Sharlene and Chyta Curry, thank you ladies for the long talks and words of encouragement. I appreciate it.
To Tasha Bynum, thanks for the constant promotion of my work. I appreciate you.
To my readers that are always around with words of encouragements and showing me love no matter what I’m going through, please know I appreciate y’all; Nicki Williams, Rhea Wilson, Qiana Drennen, Barbara Morgan, Dawn Jackson, Cherri Johnson, Mary Bishop, Kendra Littleton, Toni Futrell, Priscilla Murray, Joyce Dickerson, Nola Brooks, Beverly Onfroy, Erica Taylor, Yvonne Covington, Evelyn Johnson , Dessiree Ellison, Donica James, Cherita Price, Nawlinz Robinson, Redgirl Pettrie, Alexis Goodwyn, Mellonie Brown, Tonya Tinsley, Pam Williams, Tammy Rosa, Antinqua Bradby, Venus Murray, Shann Adams, Nancy Pyram, Tina Simmons, Nikki Macnifcent , Kenia Michelle, Jenise Brown, Kysha Small, Suprenia Hutchins, MzNicki Ervin, Trina Mcguire, Rebecca Rogers, Stephanie Wiley, Tera Kinsley-Colman and Kesia Ashworth-Lawrence.
To the Literary Divas of Spartanburg, ladies I appreciate the support y’all have given me. I am forever grateful.
Shout out to the Sisters of Essence Book club; Eva Lee, Sonja Cooks and the other ladies. I appreciate all the love!
Shout to all my family in the US, Canada and England, too many to name. I love y’all.
Shout out to my BDP family, thanks for supporting me.
PROLOGUE
“Rock of ages, cleft for me, let me hide myself in Thee; let the water and the blood from Thy wounded side, which flowed, be of sin the double cure; save from the wrath and make me pure,” the voice of a stocky woman voice echoed through the speakers.
It was something ‘bout that song and the way the words sounded that sent chills up my spine. I couldn’t take it; my head was spinning and my legs trembled as I walked toward the front of the church. I didn’t want to be there, not for him and definitely not with my child. I looked down on my baby and hugged him tight, as I tried my best to hold my balance.
The closer I got to the casket, the more my body quaked; I felt clammy and my heart slammed against my chest. I stood there frozen in place, as I stared into the face of the only man that I’ve ever loved. His face looked unfamiliar. He was swollen and black as midnight. I touched his cold, hard face and rubbed his hair. Tears rolled down my face as I bent down to kiss him on the cheek.
“Alijah, babyyyyyy!!!” I screamed out.
“Grab the child. She’s about to fall,” a man’s voice hollered.
Everything around me turned dark and the room spun around on its axis. Water gathered in my mouth as my knees gave in and I fell to the floor.
***
Hours later, I woke up in Kingston Public Hospital. The doctors informed me that I’d fainted. I wasn’t surprised; it was the worst day of my life. I’d never imagined in a million years that I would be at Alijah’s funeral. Life was unfair; we never got a chance to live our lives the way we had intended.
I lay in the hospital bed, with tears flowing and replayed all the events that had happened over the past two years. Looking back now, it seemed like we never had a chance from the beginning. How could life be this cruel? I thought. All I wanted was to be loved and the only man that ever gave a fuck about me was taken away without warning.
I felt like I didn’t want to live anymore.
“Why God? You should’ve let me die,” I looked up and asked God with tears rolling down my face. I knew I was being selfish, but the pain that I felt was like a sharp knife cutting my heart into tiny pieces and it was becoming unbearable!
“Hey honey, how you feeling?” Jeanette asked as she entered the room.
“Feeling? I’m not feelin’ much of anything.” I shook my head from side to side.
“I can’t say I understand how you’re feeling, but you have to get it together for Azir’s sake. He already lost one parent. He deserves to have at least one,” she said while she rubbed my back.
I looked at her with tears in my eyes. I never figured out where her strength came from, but even through Alijah’s death and me almost being killed, she had been the one that was holding everything down.
“God should’ve let me die with him. He’s my e’erythin’. Since you have answers for e’erythin’, why don’t you tell me how I’m supposed to go on from here. I lost e’erythin’. You hear me, every fucking thing!” I screamed.
“Sierra, shut the fuck up talkin’ like that. I thought I lost you when you was on that floor. I got on my knees in that hospital and I begged God for mercy. I begged him to save my child’s life. I even told him to take my life instead." I know I'm not the most righteous person, but I know God is able to work many miracles; don't you start being ungrateful—you need to be thanking him, ‘cause Azir could have been an orphan right now," she barked back.
"I wasn't in the mood to argue with this self-righteous bitch, so I closed my eyes and let my mind wandered off into a fantasy world.
I must have dozed off because I was awakened by the sound of voices arguing. I thought I was trippin’ off the narcotics that I had earlier, but soon found out that I wasn't.
"Yo, what the fuck is going on in here? I yelled.
Jeanette and Alijah's mom turned their attention to me. They seemed surprised.
"Sorry baby, but Miss Thing here come up in here talking about she want to keep Azir out here in Jamaica. She done lost her God damn mind."
"What you talking about?" I then turned to his mother for some kind of clarification.
"Sierra, mi cum here in peace. Mi not tryna cause nuh trouble. Alijah was mi only pickney and all mi 'ave left is Azir. All mi asking is to let him stay wit' mi until you get back pon yuh foot."
"I'm lost! You're the same woman that called me a home wr
ecker. The same one that didn't think I was good enough for her son. Now you are here talking ‘bout you come in peace. No, there's no fucking peace! Azir is my fucking son that I pushed out my pussy. And I will not let you or anyone else play Mommy to him. I'm good and best believe, he's going to be good. Trust me, I understand you love your son, but you won't use mine to replace him," I spat at her with venom in my voice.
I glanced at her and noticed that she was the same woman that cussed me out in the hospital, only this time she appeared as if she lost a great amount of weight. Her body looked frail and her eyes were dark; they sunk inside of her head as if she lacked days of sleep. In that instant I felt some kind of pity for her, not because I felt like she deserved it, but because I knew how close she and her son were. I couldn't imagine how I would feel if it was my child.
"Come here." I motioned for her to come closer to my bed and she practically fell into my arms. We hugged and cried together. The harder we cried, the tighter we hugged.
"I'm sorry for the way I treated you. I didn't know how Shayna really was. She had me fooled until Alijah told me everything that she did to him. I was shocked and hurt, because I treated her as my own. I do tell you, that boy loved you," she said as she wept.
That was enough confirmation for me when I heard her say Alijah loved me. I squeezed her tighter, as the tears flowed freely. We finally let go of each other and I glanced at Jeanette. I sensed a bit of jealousy coming from her.
Jeanette was like a mama pit bull. She was out for blood when it came down to me, even though at times she got on my nerves. I kind of loved the feeling that someone had my back. I knew we had a long way to go but I knew in due time we would get there.
“Ms. Jeanette, mi sorry fi cum up in here like dis. I kno’ yo love fo’ har is strong and as a madda, mi understand, ‘cause I would protect mine if he was still here.”
"I understand; it’s just that she’s been through enough as it is. So when you were saying you wanted her baby, it kind of rubbed me the wrong way. I wasn't the best of anything for her when she was young, but I'm here now and they gotta kill me first before I let another person hurt her."
"Y'all, I'm right here. And I'm not going anywhere,” I said. It was getting too hectic in the room.
We continued talking for a little while longer until Alijah’s mom left. I promised that I would consider leaving Azir with her for a while. To be honest, I think it would be a good move to leave Azir with her, because I was returning to the states in a few days, and I had no idea what my future would hold. I wasn't sure if the feds were investigating me; I was waiting until I got back so I could holla at my lawyer. I was also homeless, because the feds confiscated my house and all the money that was in the safe downstairs was gone. I'm happy I wasn’t a fool and had a little something saved for rainy days. I also knew that Alijah had several accounts in the Cayman Islands and Jamaica, so Azir was set for life. That dude was definitely a street dude, but he was no dumbass nigga.
I was finally released from the hospital and I was on a mission; I needed to visit Alijah’s grave. Jeanette tried to convince me that I was in no shape to visit him. I had to; I was his woman and his bottom bitch. He was buried in a cemetery not far from his family home.
I got out the car and walked toward the graves until I saw the Jackson plot. I promised myself I would not fall out; I had to make it to him. I walked over to his grave and stood there, frozen in place. I rubbed my hand across his name Alijah Benjamin Jackson. I smiled because I knew how much he hated the name Benjamin.
"Baby, I hope you can hear me. I know I'm late, but I'm here now. Your baby girl is not doing too good. I need you, my right hand." The tears rolled down my face and my lips trembled.
It really hit me hard that he wasn’t coming back. My body shivered as I wept.
"Listen baby boy; I'm trying to hold on, but it’s hard. I should be there wit’ you. It’s not fair and I don't want to live without you; I can't live without you."
"I love you! I need you Alijahhh," I screamed as I collapsed on top of the grave.
His cousin, who was waiting in the car, ran over and picked me up.
"Miss Sierra, is you alright ma'am?"
I could barely respond, so I nodded my head yes. He helped me back to the car and drove me away. I looked back as the car sped away. I didn't know when I’d be back to see him. I wish he was buried in the states, but I respected the fact that this was his birthplace.
The next day I was at Norman Manley International Airport getting ready to board American Airlines back to the states. I decided to leave Azir with his grandmother. She decided that she was not going to move back to New York. I think after she lost her son, her love for America was buried along with him.
Jeanette wasn't pleased that I was leaving him, but this woman hadn’t raised her seed, so her opinion didn't carry much weight with me. I did what was best for my son. I knew he would have the best life with his grandma, until I got myself situated; then I’d go back for him.
I hugged and kissed him, then handed him to his grandma.
"Say bye-bye to yo mama."
I didn't turn around and say bye, because I didn't want him to see that I was breaking down inside. I put my shades on and walked heartbroken to the American Airlines terminal. The plane took off and I was an empty shell sitting down. I was lost and hurt.
Chapter One
Shayna Jackson
"Fuck you bitch, you set me up,” I spat at the federal bitch. I wasn’t in the mood to be cordial to this bitch that thought she was the shit. This bitch was no different than other bitches. I was tired of the feds; they put me in this mother-fucking situation and then turned around and fucked me raw!
"Jackson, you better sit your ass down and shut the fuck up. Your ass is in some serious shit. Either you too dumb to understand it, or you just plain stupid."
I had no idea who this lower-class federal bitch was talking to. She must not have seen what happened to the bitch that tried me. I swear these hoes be sleeping on me; they had no idea how deadly I could become.
"Listen, what the fuck am I here for?"
"We're trying to offer you a deal. Your lawyer is on his way up."
"Deal? Bitch, the last time you offered me a deal, I ended up in here," I yelled.
"I'm not going to be too many more bitches. And no honey, you are in here because you were too stupid to stay away from the woman your husband was fucking. So in reality, you're in jail and on your way to prison for life, over a dick that you won't ever see again. Now sit the fuck down."
I shot that hoe a look that could've killed her instantly.
"Ha ha! You think you know me. I never cared about the dick, bitch. I enjoy fucking myself more. No, I'm in here because I required respect at all times. Bitch, you better watch your back."
"Did you hear that counselor? Your client just threatened a federal officer?"
"Ms. Jackson, please don't say another word. Let me handle this."
"Sure." I smiled at the young handsome man standing in front of me.
I knew it wasn't the right time or place to be thinking about his cock, but I wish I could fuck him. Oh well, soon enough, I thought.
"Ms. Rozzario, what's the purpose of this meeting?"
"The U.S. Attorney’s office is offering your client a deal in exchange for her testimony against her husband's co-defendants."
"Bitch fuck you! I will not help yo’ ass anymore. Don't forget I am an attorney also. Don't insult my intelligence. Take that deal and shove it up yo’ ass. Take it to trial." I got up and looked at her.
"Ms. Jackson sit down! Let’s hear them out." This fool that I was paying had the nerve to fucking yell at me.
I looked at him sideways, then back at the federal bitch and the U.S. Attorney. I had a feeling that all these motherfuckers were working against me.
I knew that he saw the look on my face that read ‘nigga fuck you’. I paid him good money to defend me, not to play pussy and suck up to the fucking ene
my.
"So here's what the U . S . Attorney’s office is offering; you give us your full cooperation and testify against the two defendants. If and when they decide to go to trial, we will recommend twenty years. We’ll also let the judge know you cooperated with the court. We will also ask for leniency on your part."
“Listen up Rozzario! I will tell you what you need to know, and I will testify if needed. But the only way I will do that, if the U.S. Attorney agrees to set me free; if I can’t get that, then we have no deal. I will take my chances with the jurors."
"Counsel, please advise your client, her chances of beating the feds are slim to none. She better take what we’re offering, or her behind will never see these streets again," Rozzario said, before she shot me a dirty look.
I wanted to leap across the table and grab that bitch’s throat. I saw that she was enjoying my misfortune a little bit too much.
"Give us a week, and we will take your deal into consideration. I'm pretty sure she will be more than happy to take you up on your offer." Giovanni smiled.
"Okay counselor, don't wait too long. One week, then the deal is off the table.”
I didn't say a word. I stood there with my hands folded. I couldn’t wait until I talked to him; I was going to let him know how displeased I was. I was ready to go back to the jail, not that I liked it there, but anywhere was better than hearing these idiots discuss my fucking life.
The guard came and took me back to the holding cell. I welcomed the few minutes of silence. After everything that just went down, I was happy to be alone. I needed to regroup and gather my thoughts.
Twenty fucking years, did I hear this bitch right? I've been in this hellhole for a fucking month and I was ready to go. I needed to get my damn hair and nails done; I need to take a few showers. I knew Daddy was turning over in his grave, looking at the treatment his baby girl was getting. The pain of losing him was too much and still hurt everything in me. I really miss him especially now, oh how I wish I could hear his voice telling me it's going to be okay.
Bottom Bitch 3: The Revenge Kill Page 1