Some People have been noted to be able to read in no Book but their own.2 On the contrary, from the Time when Master Blifil was first possessed of this Bible, he never used any other. Nay, he was seen reading in it much oftner than he had before been in his own. Now, as he frequently asked Thwackum to explain difficult Passages to him, that Gentleman unfortunately took notice of Tom’s Name, which was written in many Parts of the Book. This brought on an Enquiry, which obliged Master Blifil to discover the whole Matter.
Thwackum was resolved, a Crime of this Kind, which he called Sacrilege, should not go unpunished. He therefore proceeded immediately to Castigation; and not contented with that, he acquainted Mr. Allworthy, at their next Meeting, with this monstrous Crime, as it appeared to him; inveighing against Tom in the most bitter Terms, and likening him to the Buyers and Sellers who were driven out of the Temple.3
Square saw this Matter in a very different Light. He said, He could not perceive any higher Crime in selling one Book, than in selling another. That to sell Bibles was strictly lawful by all Laws both Divine and Human, and consequently there was no Unfitness in it. He told Thwackum, that his great Concern on this Occasion brought to his Mind the Story of a very devout Woman, who out of pure Regard to Religion, stole Tillotson’s Sermons4 from a Lady of her Acquaintance.
This Story caused a vast Quantity of Blood to rush into the Parson’s Face, which of itself was none of the palest; and he was going to reply with great Warmth and Anger, had not Mrs. Blifil, who was present at this Debate, interposed. That Lady declared herself absolutely of Mr. Square’s Side. She argued, indeed, very learnedly in Support of his Opinion; and concluded with saying, if Tom had been guilty of any Fault, she must confess her own Son appeared to be equally culpable; for that she could see no Difference between the Buyer and the Seller; both of whom were alike to be driven out of the Temple.
Mrs. Blifil having declared her Opinion put an End to the Debate. Square’s Triumph would almost have stopt his Words, had he needed them; and Thwackum, who for Reasons before-mentioned, durst not venture at disobliging the Lady, was almost choaked with Indignation. As to Mr. Allworthy, he said, Since the Boy had been already punished, he would not deliver his Sentiments on the Occasion; and whether he was, or was not angry with the Lad, I must leave to the Reader’s own Conjecture.
Soon after this, an Action was brought against the Game-keeper by ’Squire Western, (the Gentleman in whose Manor the Partridge was killed) for Depredations of the like Kind. This was a most unfortunate Circumstance for the Fellow, as it not only of itself threatened his Ruin, but actually prevented Mr. Allworthy from restoring him to his Favour: For as that Gentleman was walking out one Evening with Master Blifil and young Jones, the latter slily drew him to the Habitation of Black George; where the Family of that poor Wretch, namely, his Wife and Children, were found in all the Misery with which Cold, Hunger, and Nakedness, can affect human Creatures: For as to the Money they had received from Jones, former Debts had consumed almost the whole.
Such a Scene as this could not fail of affecting the Heart of Mr. Allworthy. He immediately gave the Mother a couple of Guineas, with which he bid her cloath her Children. The poor Woman burst into Tears at this Goodness, and while she was thanking him, could not refrain from expressing her Gratitude to Tom; who had, she said, long preserved both her and hers from starving. ‘We have not,’ says she, ‘had a Morsel to eat, nor have these poor Children had a Rag to put on, but what his Goodness had bestowed on us.’ For indeed, besides the Horse and the Bible, Tom had sacrificed a Night-gown and other Things to the Use of this distressed Family.
On their Return home Tom made use of all his Eloquence to display the Wretchedness of these People, and the Penitence of Black George himself; and in this he succeeded so well, that Mr. Allworthy said, He thought the Man had suffered enough for what was past; that he would forgive him, and think of some Means of providing for him and his Family.
Jones was so delighted with this News, that tho’ it was dark when they returned home, he could not help going back a Mile in a Shower of Rain, to acquaint the poor Woman with the glad Tidings; but, like other hasty Divulgers of News he only brought on himself the Trouble of contradicting it: For the Ill-fortune of Black George made use of the very Opportunity of his Friend’s Absence to overturn all again.
CHAPTER X.
In which Master Blifil and Jones appear in different Lights.
Master Blifil fell very short of his Companion in the amiable Quality of Mercy; but he as greatly exceeded him in one of much higher Kind, namely, in Justice: In which he followed both the Precepts and Example of Thwackum and Square; for tho’ they would both make frequent Use of the Word Mercy, yet it was plain, that in reality Square held it to be inconsistent with the Rule of Right; and Thwackum was for doing Justice, and leaving Mercy to Heaven. The two Gentlemen did indeed somewhat differ in Opinion concerning the Objects of this sublime Virtue; by which Thwackum would probably have destroyed one half of Mankind, and Square the other half.
Master Blifil then, though he had kept Silence in the Presence of Jones, yet when he had better considered the Matter, could by no Means endure the Thoughts of suffering his Uncle to confer Favours on the Undeserving. He therefore resolved immediately to acquaint him with the Fact which we have above slightly hinted to the Readers. The Truth of which was as follows.
The Game-keeper about a Year after he was dismissed from Mr. Allworthy’s Service, and before Tom’s selling the Horse, being in Want of Bread, either to fill his own Mouth, or those of his Family, as he passed through a Field belonging to Mr. Western, espied a Hare sitting in her Form. This Hare he had basely and barbarously knocked on the Head, against the Laws of the Land,1 and no less against the Laws of Sportsmen.
The Higler to whom the Hare was sold, being unfortunately taken many Months after with a Quantity of Game upon him, was obliged to make his Peace with the Squire, by becoming Evidence against some Poacher. And now Black George was pitched upon by him, as being a Person already obnoxious to Mr. Western, and one of no good Fame in the Country. He was, besides, the best Sacrifice the Higler could make, as he had supplied him with no Game since; and by this Means the Witness had an Opportunity of screening his better Customers: For the Squire, being charmed with the Power of punishing Black George, whom a single Transgression was sufficient to ruin, made no further Enquiry.
Had this Fact been truly laid before Mr. Allworthy, it might probably have done the Game-keeper very little Mischief. But there is no Zeal blinder than that which is inspired with the Love of Justice against Offenders. Master Blifil had forgot the Distance of the Time. He varied likewise in the Manner of the Fact: and, by the hasty Addition of the single Letter S, he considerably altered the Story; for he said that George had wired Hares. These Alterations might probably have been set right, had not Master Blifil unluckily insisted on a Promise of Secrecy from Mr. Allworthy, before he revealed the Matter to him; but, by that Means, the poor Game-keeper was condemned, without having any Opportunity to defend himself: For as the Fact of Killing the Hare, and of the Action brought, were certainly true, Mr. Allworthy had no Doubt concerning the rest.
Short-lived then was the Joy of these poor People; for Mr. Allworthy the next Morning declared he had fresh Reason, without assigning it, for his Anger, and strictly forbad Tom to mention George any more; though as for his Family, he said, he would endeavour to keep them from starving; but as to the Fellow himself, he would leave him to the Laws, which Nothing could keep him from breaking.
Tom could by no means divine what had incensed Mr. Allworthy: For of Master Blifil he had not the least Suspicion. However, as his Friendship was to be tired out by no Disappointments, he now determined to try another Method of preserving the poor Game-keeper from Ruin.
Jones was lately grown very intimate with Mr. Western. He had so greatly recommended himself to that Gentleman, by leaping over five-barred Gates, and by other Acts of Sportmanship, that the Squire had declared Tom would certa
inly make a great Man, if he had but sufficient Encouragement. He often wished he had himself a Son with such Parts; and one Day very solemnly asserted at a drinking Bout, that Tom should hunt a Pack of Hounds for a thousand Pound of his Money, with any Huntsman in the whole Country.
By such kind of Talents he had so ingratiated himself with the Squire, that he was a most welcome Guest at his Table, and a favourite Companion in his Sport: Every Thing which the Squire held most dear, to wit, his Guns, Dogs, and Horses, were now as much at the Command of Jones, as if they had been his own. He resolved therefore to make use of this Favour on Behalf of his Friend Black George, whom he hoped to introduce into Mr. Western’s Family, in the same Capacity in which he had before served Mr. Allworthy.
The Reader, if he considers that this Fellow was already obnoxious to Mr. Western, and if he considers farther the weighty Business by which that Gentleman’s Displeasure had been incurred, will perhaps condemn this as a foolish and desperate Undertaking; but if he should totally condemn young Jones on that Account, he will greatly applaud him for strengthening himself with all imaginable Interest on so arduous an Occasion.
For this Purpose then Tom applied to Mr. Western’s Daughter, a young Lady of about seventeen Years of Age, whom her Father, next after those necessary Implements of Sport just before mentioned, loved and esteemed above all the World. Now, as she had some Influence on the Squire, so Tom had some little Influence on her. But this being the intended Heroine of this Work, a Lady with whom we ourselves are greatly in Love, and with whom many of our Readers will probably be in Love too before we part, it is by no Means proper she should make her Appearance in the End of a Book.
BOOK IV.
Containing the Time of a Year.
CHAPTER I.
Containing five Pages of Paper.
As Truth distinguishes our Writings from those idle Romances which are filled with Monsters, the Productions, not of Nature, but of distempered Brains; and which have been therefore recommended by an eminent Critic to the sole Use of the Pastry-cook:1 So, on the other hand, we would avoid any Resemblance to that kind of History which a celebrated Poet seems to think is no less calculated for the Emolument of the Brewer, as the reading it should be always attended with a Tankard of good Ale.
While—History with her Comrade Ale,
Sooths the sad Series of her tedious Tale.2
For as this is the Liquor of modern Historians, nay, perhaps their Muse, if we may believe the Opinion of Butler, who attributes Inspiration to Ale, it ought likewise to be the Potation of their Readers, since every Book ought to be read with the same Spirit, and in the same Manner, as it is writ.3 Thus the famous Author of Hurlothrumbo told a learned Bishop, that the Reason his Lordship could not taste the Excellence of his Piece, was, that he did not read it with a Fiddle in his Hand; which Instrument he himself had always had in his own, when he composed it.4
That our Work, therefore, might be in no Danger of being likened to the Labours of these Historians, we have taken every Occasion of interspersing through the whole sundry Similies, Descriptions, and other kind of poetical Embellishments. These are, indeed, designed to supply the Place of the said Ale, and to refresh the Mind, whenever those Slumbers which in a long Work are apt to invade the Reader as well as the Writer, shall begin to creep upon him. Without Interruptions of this Kind, the best Narrative of plain Matter of Fact must over-power every Reader; for nothing but the everlasting Watchfulness, which Homer has ascribed only to Jove himself,5 can be Proof against a News Paper of many Volumes.
We shall leave to the Reader to determine with what Judgment we have chosen the several Occasions for inserting those ornamental Parts of our Work. Surely it will be allowed that none could be more proper than the present; where we are about to introduce a considerable Character on the Scene; no less, indeed, than the Heroine of this Heroic, Historical, Prosaic Poem. Here, therefore, we have thought proper to prepare the Mind of the Reader for her Reception, by filling it with every pleasing Image, which we can draw from the Face of Nature. And for this Method we plead many Precedents. First, this is an Art well known to, and much practised by, our Tragick Poets; who seldom fail to prepare their Audience for the Reception of their principal Characters.
Thus the Heroe is always introduced with a Flourish of Drums and Trumpets, in order to rouse a Martial Spirit in the Audience, and to accommodate their Ears to Bombast and Fustian, which Mr. Lock’s blind Man would not have grossly erred in likening to the Sound of a Trumpet.6 Again, when Lovers are coming forth, soft Music often conducts them on the Stage, either to sooth the Audience with the Softness of the tender Passion, or to lull and prepare them for that gentle Slumber in which they will most probably be composed by the ensuing Scene.
And not only the Poets, but the Masters of these Poets, the Managers of Playhouses, seem to be in this Secret; for, besides the aforesaid Kettle Drums, &c. which denote the Heroe’s Approach, he is generally ushered on the Stage by a large Troop of half a dozen Scene-shifters; and how necessary these are imagined to his Appearance, may be concluded from the following Theatrical Story.
King Pyrrhus was at Dinner at an Alehouse bordering on the Theatre, when he was summoned to go on the Stage. The Heroe, being unwilling to quit his Shoulder of Mutton, and as unwilling to draw on himself the Indignation of Mr. Wilks, (his Brother Manager) for making the Audience wait, had bribed these his Harbingers to be out of the Way. While Mr. Wilks, therefore, was thundering out, ‘Where are the Carpenters to walk on before King Pyrrhus,’ that Monarch very quietly eat his Mutton, and the Audience, however impatient, were obliged to entertain themselves with Music in his Absence.7
To be plain, I much question whether the Politician, who hath generally a good Nose, hath not scented out somewhat of the Utility of this Practice. I am convinced that awful Magistrate my Lord Mayor contracts a good deal of that Reverence which attends him through the Year, by the several Pageants which precede his Pomp.8 Nay, I must confess, that even I myself, who am not remarkably liable to be captivated with Show, have yielded not a little to the Impressions of much preceding State. When I have seen a Man strutting in a Procession, after others whose Business was only to walk before him, I have conceived a higher Notion of his Dignity, than I have felt on seeing him in a common Situation. But there is one Instance which comes exactly up to my Purpose. This is the Custom of sending on a Basket-woman, who is to precede the Pomp at a Coronation, and to strew the Stage with Flowers, before the great Personages begin their Procession. The Antients would certainly have invoked the Goddess Flora for this Purpose, and it would have been no Difficulty for their Priests or Politicians to have persuaded the People of the real Presence of the Deity, though a plain Mortal had personated her, and performed her Office. But we have no such Design of imposing on our Reader; and therefore those who object to the Heathen Theology, may, if they please, change our Goddess into the above mentioned Basket-woman. Our Intention, in short, is to introduce our Heroine with the utmost Solemnity in our Power, with an Elevation of Stile, and all other Circumstances proper to raise the Veneration of our Reader. Indeed we would, for certain Causes, advise those of our Male Readers who have any Hearts, to read no farther, were we not well assured, that how amiable soever the Picture of our Heroine will appear, as it is really a Copy from Nature, many of our fair Country-women will be found worthy to satisfy any Passion, and to answer any Idea of Female Perfection, which our Pencil will be able to raise.
And now, without any further Preface, we proceed to our next Chapter.
CHAPTER II.
A short Hint of what we can do in the Sublime, and a Description of Miss Sophia Western.
Hushed be every ruder Breath. May the Heathen Ruler of the Winds confine in iron Chains the boisterous Limbs of noisy Boreas, and the sharp-pointed Nose of bitter, biting Eurus. Do thou, sweet Zephyrus,1 rising from thy fragrant Bed, mount the western Sky, and lead on those delicious Gales, the Charms of which call forth the lovely Flora from her Chamber, perfumed w
ith pearly Dews, when on the first of June, her Birth-day, the blooming Maid, in loose Attire, gently trips it over the verdant Mead, where every Flower rises to do her Homage, ’till the whole Field become enamelled, and Colours contend with Sweets which shall ravish her most.
So charming may she now appear; and you the feather’d Choristers of Nature, whose sweetest Notes not even Handel can excell,2 tune your melodious Throats, to celebrate her Appearance. From Love proceeds your Music, and to Love it returns. Awaken therefore that gentle Passion in every Swain: For lo! adorned with all the Charms in which Nature can array her; bedecked with Beauty, Youth, Sprightliness, Innocence, Modesty, and Tenderness, breathing Sweetness from her rosy Lips, and darting Brightness from her sparkling Eyes, the lovely Sophia comes.
Reader, perhaps thou hast seen the Statue of the Venus de Medicis.3 Perhaps too, thou hast seen the Gallery of Beauties at Hampton-Court.4 Thou may’st remember each bright Churchill of the Galaxy,5 and all the Toasts of the Kit-cat.6 Or if their Reign was before thy Times, at least thou hast seen their Daughters, the no less dazling Beauties of the present Age; whose Names, should we here insert, we apprehend they would fill the whole Volume.
The History of Tom Jones (Penguin Classics) Page 20