However this be, certain it is that the Accident operated very strongly on Sophia; and, indeed, after much Enquiry into the Matter, I am inclined to believe, that at this very Time, the charming Sophia made no less Impression on the Heart of Jones; to say Truth, he had for some Time become sensible of the irresistible Power of her Charms.
CHAPTER XIV. The Arrival of a Surgeon. His Operations, and a long Dialogue between Sophia and her Maid.
When they arrived in Mr. Western’s Hall, Sophia, who had totter’d along with much Difficulty, sunk down in a Chair; but by the Assistance of Hartshorn and Water, she was prevented from fainting away, and had pretty well recovered her Spirits, when the Surgeon, who was sent for to Jones, appeared. Mr. Western, who imputed these Symptoms in his Daughter to her Fall, advised her to be presently blooded by way of Prevention. In this Opinion he was seconded by the Surgeon, who gave so many Reasons for bleeding, and quoted so many Cases where Persons had miscarried for want of it, that the Squire became very importunate, and indeed insisted peremptorily that his Daughter should be blooded.
Sophia soon yielded to the Commands of her Father, though intirely contrary to her own Inclinations: For she suspected, I believe, less Danger from the Fright, than either the Squire or the Surgeon. She then stretched out her beautiful Arm, and the Operator began to prepare for his Work.
While the Servants were busied in providing Materials; the Surgeon, who imputed the Backwardness which had appeared in Sophia to her Fears, began to comfort her with Assurances that there was not the least Danger; for no Accident, he said, could ever happen in Bleeding, but from the monstrous Ignorance of Pretenders to Surgery, which he pretty plainly insinuated was not at present to be apprehended. Sophia declared she was not under the least Apprehension; adding, if you open an Artery, I promise you I’ll forgive you; ‘Will you,’ cries Western, ‘D—n me, if I will; if he does thee the least Mischief, d—n me, if I don’t ha’ the Heart’s Blood o’un out.’ The Surgeon assented to bleed her upon these Conditions, and then proceeded to his Operation, which he performed with as much Dexterity as he had promised; and with as much Quickness: For he took but little Blood from her, saying, it was much safer to bleed again and again, than to take away too much at once.
Sophia, when her Arm was bound up, retired: For she was not willing (nor was it, perhaps, strictly decent) to be present at the Operation on Jones. Indeed one Objection which she had to Bleeding, (tho’ she did not make it) was the Delay which it would occasion to setting the broken Bone. For Western, when Sophia was concerned, had no Consideration, but for her; and as for Jones himself, he ‘sat like Patience on a Monument smiling at Grief.’1 To say the Truth, when he saw the Blood springing from the lovely Arm of Sophia, he scarce thought of what had happened to himself.
The Surgeon now ordered his Patient to be stript to his Shirt, and then entirely baring the Arm, he began to stretch and examine it, in such a Manner, that the Tortures he put him to, caused Jones to make several wry Faces, which the Surgeon observing, greatly wondered at, crying, ‘What is the Matter, Sir? I am sure it is impossible I should hurt you.’ And then holding forth the broken Arm, he began a long and very learned Lecture of Anatomy, in which simple and double Fractures were most accurately considered; and the several Ways in which Jones might have broken his Arm were discussed, with proper Annotations, shewing how many of these would have been better, and how many worse than the present Case.
Having at length finish’d his laboured Harangue, with which the Audience, tho’ it had greatly raised their Attention and Admiration, were not much edified, as they really understood not a single Syllable of all he had said, he proceeded to Business, which he was more expeditious in finishing, then he had been in beginning.
Jones was then ordered into a Bed, which Mr. Western compelled him to accept at his own House, and Sentence of Water-Gruel was passed upon him.
Among the good Company which had attended in the Hall during the Bone-setting, Mrs. Honour was one; who being summoned to her Mistress as soon as it was over, and asked by her how the young Gentleman did, presently launched into extravagant Praises on the Magnimity, as she called it, of his Behaviour, which, she said, ‘was so charming in so pretty a Creature.’ She then burst forth into much warmer Encomiums on the Beauty of his Person; enumerating many Particulars, and ending with the Whiteness of his Skin.
This Discourse had an Effect on Sophia’s Countenance, which would not perhaps have escaped the Observance of the sagacious Waiting-woman, had she once looked her Mistress in the Face, all the Time she was speaking; but as a Looking-glass, which was most commodiously placed opposite to her, gave her an Opportunity of surveying those Features, in which, of all others, she took most Delight; so she had not once removed her Eyes from that amiable Object during her whole Speech.
Mrs. Honour was so intirely wrapped up in the Subject on which she exercised her Tongue, and the Object before her Eyes, that she gave her Mistress Time to conquer her Confusion; which having done, she smiled on her Maid, and told her, ‘She was certainly in Love with this young Fellow.’ ‘I in Love, Madam!’ answers she, ‘upon my Word, Ma’am, I assure you, Ma’am, upon my Soul, Ma’am I am not.’ ‘Why if you was,’ cries her Mistress, ‘I see no Reason that you should be ashamed of it; for he is certainly a pretty Fellow’—‘Yes, Ma’am,’ answered the other, ‘That he is, the most handsomest Man I ever saw in my Life. Yes, to be sure, that he is, and, as your Ladyship says, I don’t know why I should be ashamed of loving him, though he is my Betters. To be sure gentle Folks are but Flesh and Blood no more than us Servants. Besides, as for Mr. Jones, thof Squire Allworthy hath made a Gentleman of him, he was not so good as myself by Birth; For thof I am a poor Body, I am an honest Person’s Child, and my Father and Mother were married, which is more than some People can say, as high as they hold their Heads. Marry, come up! I assure you, my dirty Cousin! thof his Skin be so white, and to be sure, it is the most whitest that ever was seen, I am a Christian as well as he, and nobody can say that I am base born, my grandfather was a Clergyman,* and would have been very angry, I believe, to have thought any of his Family should have taken up with Molly Seagrim’s dirty Leavings.’
Perhaps Sophia might have suffered her Maid to run on in this Manner, from wanting sufficient Spirits to stop her Tongue, which the Reader may probably conjecture was no very easy Task: For, certainly there were some Passages in her Speech, which were far from being agreeable to the Lady. However, she now checked the Torrent, as there seemed no End of its Flowing. ‘I wonder,’ says she, ‘at your Assurance in daring to talk thus of one of my Father’s Friends. As to the Wench, I order you never to mention her Name to me. And, with Regard to the young Gentleman’s Birth, those who can say nothing more to his Disadvantage, may as well be silent on that Head, as I desire you will be for the future.’
‘I am sorry, I have offended your Ladyship,’ answered Mrs. Honour, ‘I am sure I hate Molly Seagrim as much as your Ladyship can, and as for abusing Squire Jones, I can call all the Servants in the House to witness, that whenever any Talk hath been about Bastards, I have always taken his Part: ‘For which of you,’ says I to the Footmen, ‘would not be a Bastard, if he could, to be made a Gentleman of? and,’ says I, ‘I am sure he is a very fine Gentleman; and he hath one of the whitest Hands in the World: For to be sure so he hath; and,’ says I, ‘one of the sweetest temperedest, best naturedest Men in the World he is,’ and says I, ‘all the Servants and Neighbours all round the Country loves him.’ And, to be sure, I could tell your Ladyship something, but that I am afraid it would offend you.’—‘What could you tell me, Honour?’ says Sophia. ‘Nay, Ma’am, to be sure he meant nothing by it, therefore I would not have your Ladyship be offended.’—‘Prithee tell me,’ says Sophia,—‘I will know it this Instant.’ ‘Why, Ma’am,’ answered Mrs. Honour, ‘he came into the Room, one Day last Week when I was at Work, and there lay your Ladyship’s Muff on a Chair, and to be sure he put his Hands into it, that very Muff your Ladyship gave
me but yesterday; ‘La,’ says I, ‘Mr. Jones, you will stretch my Lady’s Muff and spoil it;’ but he still kept his Hands in it, and then he kissed it—to be sure, I hardly ever saw such a Kiss in my Life as he gave it.’—‘I suppose he did not know it was mine,’ replied Sophia. ‘Your Ladyship shall hear, Ma’am. He kissed it again and again, and said it was the prettiest Muff in the World.2 ‘La! Sir,’ says I, ‘you have seen it a hundred Times.’—‘Yes, Mrs. Honour,’ cry’d he; ‘but who can see any thing beautiful in the Presence of your Lady but herself:’ Nay, that’s not all neither, but I hope your Ladyship won’t be offended, for to be sure he meant nothing: One Day as your Ladyship was playing on the Harpsichord to my Master, Mr. Jones was sitting in the next Room, and methought he looked melancholy. ‘La!’ says I, ‘Mr. Jones, what’s the Matter! A Penny for your Thoughts,’ says I; ‘Why, Hussy,’ says he, starting up from a Dream, ‘what can I be thinking of, when that Angel your Mistress is playing?’ And then squeezing me by the Hand—‘Oh! Mrs. Honour,’ says he, ‘how happy will that Man be!’—and then he sighed; upon my Troth, his Breath is as sweet as a Nosegay—but to be sure he meant no Harm by it. So I hope your Ladyship will not mention a Word: For he gave me a Crown never to mention it, and made me swear upon a Book, but I believe, indeed, it was not the Bible.’
Till something of a more beautiful Red than Vermilion be found out, I shall say nothing of Sophia’s Colour on this Occasion. ‘Ho—nour,’ says she, ‘I—if you will not mention this any more to me,—nor to any Body else, I will not betray you—I mean I will not be angry; but I am afraid of your Tongue. Why, my Girl, will you give it such Liberties?’ ‘Nay, Ma’am,’ answered she, ‘to be sure, I would sooner cut out my Tongue than offend your Lady-ship—to be sure, I shall never mention a Word that your Ladyship would not have me.’ ‘— Why I would not have you mention this any more,’ said Sophia, ‘for it may come to my Father’s Ears, and he would be angry with Mr. Jones, tho’ I really believe, as you say, he meant nothing. I should be very angry myself if I imagined’— ‘Nay, Ma’am,’ says Honour, ‘I protest I believe he meant nothing. I thought he talked as if he was out of his Senses; nay, he said he believed he was beside himself when he had spoken the Words. ‘Ay, Sir,’ says I, ‘I believe so too.’ ‘Yes,’ says he, ‘Honour,’—but I ask your Ladyship’s Pardon; I could tear my Tongue out for offending you.’ ‘Go on,’ says Sophia, ‘you may mention any thing you have not told me before.’ “Yes, Honour,” says he, (this was some time afterwards when he gave me the Crown) “I am neither such a Coxcomb, or such a Villain as to think of her, in any other Delight, but as my Goddess; as such I will always worship and adore her while I have Breath.” This was all, Ma’am, I will be sworn, to the best of my Remembrance; I was in a Passion with him myself, till I found he meant no Harm.’ ‘Indeed, Honour,’ says Sophia, ‘I believe you have a real Affection for me; I was provoked the other Day when I gave you Warning; but if you have a Desire to stay with me, you shall.’ ‘To be sure, Ma’am,’ answered Mrs. Honour, ‘I shall never desire to part with your Ladyship. To be sure, I almost cried my Eyes out when you gave me Warning. It would be very ungrateful in me, to desire to leave your Ladyship; because as why, I should never get so good a Place again. I am sure I would live and die with your Ladyship—for, as poor Mr. Jones said, happy is the Man——’
Here the Dinner-bell interrupted a Conversation which had wrought such an Effect on Sophia, that she was, perhaps, more obliged to her bleeding in the Morning, than she, at the time, had apprehended she should be. As to the present Situation of her Mind, I shall adhere to a Rule of Horace, by not attempting to describe it, from Despair of Success.3 Most of my Readers will suggest it easily to themselves; and the few who cannot, would not understand the Picture, or at least would deny it to be natural, if ever so well drawn.
BOOK V.
Containing a Portion of Time, somewhat longer than Half a Year.
CHAPTER I.
Of THE SERIOUS in Writing, and for what Purpose it is introduced.
Peradventure there may be no Parts in this prodigious Work which will give the Reader less Pleasure in the perusing, than those which have given the Author the greatest Pains in composing. Among these, probably, may be reckoned those initial Essays which we have prefixed to the historical Matter contained in every Book; and which we have determined to be essentially necessary to this Kind of Writing, of which we have set ourselves at the Head.
For this our Determination we do not hold ourselves strictly bound to assign any Reason; it being abundantly sufficient that we have laid it down as a Rule necessary to be observed in all prosai-comi-epic Writing. Who ever demanded the Reasons of that nice Unity of Time or Place1 which is now established to be so essential to dramatic Poetry? What Critic hath been ever asked, Why a Play may not contain two Days as well as one? Or why the Audience (provided they travel, like Electors, without any Expence)2 may not be wafted Fifty Miles as well as Five? Hath any Commentator well accounted for the Limitation which an antient Critic hath set to the Drama, which he will have contain neither more nor less than five acts?3 Or hath any one living attempted to explain, what the modern Judges of our Theatres mean by that Word low; by which they have happily succeeded in banishing all Humour from the Stage, and have made the Theatre as dull as a Drawing-room? Upon all these Occasions, the World seems to have embraced a Maxim of our Law, viz. Cuicunque in Arte sua perito credendum est: For it seems, perhaps, difficult to conceive that any one should have had enough of Impudence, to lay down dogmatical Rules in any Art or Science without the least Foundation. In such Cases, therefore, we are apt to conclude, there are sound and good Reasons at the Bottom, though we are unfortunately not able to see so far.
Now, in reality, the World have paid too great a Compliment to Critics, and have imagined them Men of much greater Profundity than they really are. From this Complaisance, the Critics have been emboldened to assume a Dictatorial Power, and have so far succeeded, that they are now become the Masters, and have the Assurance to give Laws to those Authors, from whose Predecessors they originally received them.
The Critic, rightly considered, is no more than the Clerk, whose Office it is to transcribe the Rules and Laws laid down by those great Judges, whose vast Strength of Genius hath placed them in the Light of Legislators, in the several Sciences over which they presided. This Office was all which the Critics of old aspired to, nor did they ever dare to advance a Sentence, without supporting it by the Authority of the Judge from whence it was borrowed.
But in Process of Time, and in Ages of Ignorance, the Clerk began to invade the Power, and assume the Dignity of his Master. The Laws of Writing were no longer founded on the Practice of the Author, but on the Dictates of the Critic. The Clerk became the Legislator, and those very peremptorily gave Laws, whose Business it was, at first, only to transcribe them.
Hence arose an obvious, and, perhaps, an unavoidable Error: For these Critics being Men of shallow Capacities, very easily mistook mere Form for Substance. They acted as a Judge would, who should adhere to the lifeless Letter of Law, and reject the Spirit. Little Circumstances which were, perhaps, accidental in a great Author, were, by these Critics, considered to constitute his chief Merit, and transmitted as Essentials to be observed by all his Successors. To these Encroachments, Time and Ignorance, the two great Supporters of Imposture, gave Authority; and thus, many Rules for good Writing have been established, which have not the least Foundation in Truth or Nature; and which commonly serve for no other Purpose than to curb and restrain Genius, in the same Manner as it would have restrained the Dancing-master, had the many excellent Treatises on that Art laid it down as an essential Rule, that every Man must dance in Chains.
To avoid, therefore, all Imputation of laying down a Rule for Posterity, founded only on the Authority of ipse dixit; for which, to say the Truth, we have not the profoundest Veneration, we shall here waive the Privilege above contended for, and proceed to lay before the Reader the Reasons which have induced
us to intersperse these several digressive Essays, in the Course of this Work.
And here we shall of Necessity be led to open a new Vein of Knowledge, which, if it hath been discovered, hath not, to our Remembrance, been wrought on by any antient or modern Writer. This Vein is no other than that of Contrast, which runs through all the Works of the Creation, and may, probably, have a large Share in constituting in us the Idea of all Beauty, as well natural as artificial: For what demonstrates the Beauty and Excellence of any Thing, but its Reverse? Thus the Beauty of Day, and that of Summer, is set off by the Horrors of Night and Winter. And, I believe, if it was possible for a Man to have seen only the two former, he would have a very imperfect Idea of their Beauty.
But to avoid too serious an Air: Can it be doubted, but that the finest Woman in the World would lose all Benefit of her Charms, in the Eye of a Man who had never seen one of another Cast? The Ladies themselves seem so sensible of this, that they are all industrious to procure Foils; nay, they will become Foils to themselves: For I have observed (at Bath particularly) that they endeavour to appear as ugly as possible in the Morning, in order to set off that Beauty which they intend to shew you in the Evening.
Most Artists have this Secret in Practice, tho’ some, perhaps, have not much studied the Theory. The Jeweller knows that the finest Brilliant requires a Foil; and the Painter, by the Contrast of his Figures, often acquires great Applause.
The History of Tom Jones (Penguin Classics) Page 26