by C. J. Thomas
When Trevor came back to the front, he quickly hit the brakes. He glanced to my pale face, then to the photo of him.
I shook my head to bring color back to my face. Instead of running, I asked, “Where did you serve?”
“It was a long time ago.” He held his breath and brushed past me.
“Once a Marine, always a Marine.” I raised a brow and pointed up to the flag, suddenly remembering what his brother had said about him.
Trevor kept his head down and his mouth shut.
I swayed my hips out to the sides as I headed to where he was pretending to work. “I’ve heard what your brother Cooper has said about you.” I rested my tailbone on the bench next to him and crossed my arms beneath my breasts. Why I hadn’t pieced it together before was beyond me. But now that I had, he was starting to make more sense to me. “He says you’re a hero.”
“Depends who you ask.” He stepped away and moved to the opposite wall.
“I’m asking you,” I said as I followed close behind.
He checked the time. “Did you eat?”
My smile hit my eyes as I turned away and shook my head.
He angled his broad shoulders to me and smiled. “Let me take you out.”
“If I say yes, will you tell me why your brother says you’re a hero?”
The corners of his eyes crinkled. “No.”
“Why not?”
“Because there isn’t anything to talk about.” He reached for my hand, clamping his fingers around my wrist. Tugging me toward his car, he said, “Let’s go.”
“How much time do you have?”
He opened the passenger door and nudged me inside. “Not as much time as I’d like.”
He rounded the front, opened his door, and the shocks absorbed the sudden weight as he fell into his seat. Reaching up for the opener, he hit the button to the bay and we rolled out into the alley.
“Shouldn’t we lock up the place?”
“Already did.” His hand readjusted on the wheel.
I liked his confidence. He was sure of himself but not in an arrogant way. I was attracted to his mysterious nature, and as frustrated as I was with never getting a straight answer out of him, I liked the thrill of the suspense he created.
He rolled down his window and I cracked mine just enough to create a pleasant breeze.
Glancing to his forearms, I asked about his ink. “Did you get your tattoos when you were enlisted?”
The corners of his lips curled when he rolled his neck to me. “What kind of food are you in the mood for?”
Turning my head forward, I tucked my hair behind my ear. There was nothing I could say to get him to talk about his service. He was a master at avoidance and I wondered how much of that had to do with the watery, pain-filled gaze I loved staring into so much.
“Burgers.”
His brows lifted as he tossed his head back and laughed.
“Is that funny?” I asked.
He shook his head. “Not at all.”
“Good.”
“A burger it is.” He shifted gears and nudged the accelerator a notch higher.
Trevor was dressed for a fancy restaurant and I could get by with what I was wearing if we decided on a sit-down place. But I didn’t want this to feel like lunch with Dad, and especially didn’t want to be reminded of lunches I’d had with Gary.
I settled into the seat and let the man drive. Trevor fit the role of someone I could definitely see myself with. It was a scary thought, especially considering the implications of what my life would be if I went through with what I said I was going to do.
Trevor pulled into the drive-through of a local burger chain. When he asked, I told him I wanted the bacon burger with extra cheese. He pulled up to the window and ordered. We paid and parked in the shade.
“Do you always eat in your car?” I asked, plucking a fry from the bag.
He shook his head, taking the first bite from his burger. “Tell me something—”
My taste buds exploded with the flavor of bacon and my body came alive.
“—why do you keep coming back?”
I swallowed and washed my food down with my soda. I didn’t know how to respond but I was glad he asked. As much as I didn’t want to have this conversation, it was important that we did. Unable to look him in his eye, I murmured, “Is what we’re doing wrong?”
He set his burger down and angled his body toward me in his seat. Drawing his brow together, he asked, “Why would it be wrong?”
One shoulder shrugged.
“Does it feel wrong to you?”
I tied my hair back on my head. “We barely know each other.”
“What happened in the bathroom the other day—”
My head snapped to him. “—I don’t regret it.”
“Neither do I.” His voice was light as a feather.
I thought about last night and how I stayed at his place. We didn’t do anything, but it was still memorable. “I hope that you weren’t expecting more from me last night.”
He shook his head. “Holding you was the best thing that’s happened to me in a very long time.”
“Me, too.” I turned away as a pang of guilt twisted my side.
Trevor reached over and let his hand fall over mine. Gently, he squeezed, getting me to turn and meet his deep blue eyes. I couldn’t look at him without wanting to kiss him. I knew what it was like and I wanted more of it.
Seeing my eyelids fall over my irises, Trevor took it as an invitation and lowered his mouth to mine. Time slowed as my world spun. My heart pounded hard in my chest and it was all I could hear as I focused on the moistness of his bottom lip. Right when he was about to make contact, I quickly turned my head away.
I squeezed my eyes shut as I felt Trevor stiffen in his seat.
I kept my hung head turned away, feeling ashamed for leading him on. “I’m sorry. I can’t.”
He let out a heavy sigh and shoved his fingers through his hair.
“Trevor.” My fingers started to shake. “There’s something you need to know.” When he didn’t respond, I found the courage to turn and look.
His blues swayed with my browns.
There was a hint of pain swirling with his confusion. I couldn’t make sense of it myself. But what I knew for certain was that this needed to stop before it went any further. At least until I went through with my decision to leave Gary.
A stone lodged in my throat. My palms sweated. I could hear the words inside my head, but I couldn’t find the muscles to form them on my tongue.
Trevor shifted his gaze to my clasped hands, easily taking both of them inside one of his.
Feeling my eyes swell, I liked the way our hands looked together—how we fit perfectly as if it was meant to be. When I lifted my watery gaze to his I said, “I can’t do this because there is someone else in my life.”
He lifted his hand off of mine and everything inside me withered and dried.
19
Trevor
I had known those words were coming, but it didn’t soften the blow.
She was taken.
I couldn’t have her.
Her big round eyes glistened as she looked to me for some kind of response. It must have taken incredible courage to finally come clean about being another man’s woman. It wasn’t like I was purposely deceiving her by not telling her I already knew. I shouldn’t have known as much as I did. That was what stalkers did. It would ruin everything we had if she found out.
If we had anything left to give.
I cast my gaze to my lap. Flipping my palms face up, I rubbed the pads of my fingers with my thumbs. Her warmth was still there. Silky soft and enough to turn me on.
My heart beat fast and loud inside my chest.
When I was with her, I didn’t think about her getting married—didn’t think about anything but what we were doing in the moment. I only cared about how I felt when graced by her presence. She was easy, intelligent, and I liked listening to her talk.
/> Neither one of us knew what to say.
When I couldn’t look her in the eye, she turned her gaze forward and stared out the windshield. Our burgers were half-eaten but I wasn’t hungry. They could go cold.
Something had changed between last night and now.
What was it? Who did she talk to?
There wasn’t anything to regret about last night. We’d held each other. That was it. Not a single kiss was shared, nor any attempt by either of us to have sex. She needed me and I needed her. It was as simple as that. Two broken and confused souls finding refuge in similarity.
The difference was that now I knew. Not only did she have another man in her life, but she was set to get married.
Sienna lifted her soda to her mouth and bit down on her straw.
My mind wouldn’t stop.
Was it a conversation she’d had? Did she feel guilty for kissing me so easily before, knowing she had already given her heart to another man? I understood all that and could get over it. I wasn’t judging or shaming. I only wanted her to know that my heart was screaming in my ears, telling me that she was The One.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “It was never my intention to lead you on.”
Wrapping up my burger, I asked, “Are you finished?”
Her eyes fell to her half-eaten burger as she nodded. “I don’t regret what happened at your garage. But, just to be clear, it was a mistake.”
I clenched my abs, fighting to maintain face. She stabbed me unexpectedly again. This time it was closer to the heart. “I don’t see it that way.”
She flicked her browns up to me. “There is more to me than I can tell you about.”
I swallowed, wishing again that I had found her sooner. My brows pulled together. “Was he the man who hit you?”
She curled her fingers into her palm as her shoulders sagged with guilt. “I’m sure you have to be getting back to work. I don’t want to keep you on your first day.”
Rolling the food bag up, I reached behind her seat and set it there to toss later. “Let me take you to wherever you need to go.”
She wet her lips and shook her head. “I like you, Trevor, but—”
“There is another man in your life.” I tipped forward and turned the key in the ignition without actually starting the engine.
She cast her gaze to her hands and nodded.
It was clear neither of us knew what to say. I didn’t need her to keep repeating the facts. I knew them. But this wasn’t right. Whoever he was, he had her living in fear. No man had the right to mistake fear for love. Inside, I knew that he was the reason she was afraid to call it off. He’d hit her once, and it was only a matter of time before it happened again.
I turned my head and said, “I want to see you again.”
She held my stare as if surprised I still thought a relationship with her could be possible.
I knew what I felt. It was real. Not something I could pass on.
The longer I stared, the more she squirmed in her seat. What I saw in her eyes was her heart battling it out with her head and she didn’t know which one to listen to. Finally, her face pinched. “Trevor,” she mewed.
I turned my gaze forward with an aching heart. “Can I at least give you my number?”
Her eyes softened and she agreed to take my digits. Handing me her phone, I entered my details myself to make sure she got it right. When I handed it back, she tucked it into her palm and opened the door.
I didn’t want to see her go, but I wasn’t willing to push any more than I already had.
She leaned across the console and kissed my cheek. Her foot hit the pavement, but before she left me entirely I said, “If he hurts you again,” she turned to give me a knowing look, “you know where to find me.”
Without anything more to say, she slithered out of my car, shutting the door behind her. I watched her leave me, wondering if I would ever see her again.
I hated how unsure she seemed.
Knowing the mistake she was making killed me.
I wanted to stop it but felt completely helpless.
A painful lump lodged in the back of my throat and I couldn’t stop shaking my head.
For the first time in my life I had finally found someone I cared for more than myself. Except we couldn’t be together because of the secrets we both kept close to our chests. We didn’t have time to reveal them, and I didn’t have the slightest clue how to show her that I was the one she was supposed to be with.
Dropping my head into my hand, I pinched the bridge of my nose.
I blamed myself for pushing her away. I should have never answered her questions the way I did. Everything was going well, then I ruined it.
Reaching for my phone, I flipped it over.
I thought about putting a call in to the private investigator, but then decided against it. It was too soon. I needed to give him time to work.
After what just happened, I knew there was little chance of me stopping the wedding, but I still needed to know who it was she was marrying.
Dialing Noah, I raised the phone to my ear. “Where are you two?”
“Just getting done at the bank. Should we come pick you up?”
I heard Evan in the background protesting, not wanting to give up the comfort of riding shotgun. “Yeah, pick me up.”
“Cool. See you in a few.”
Racing back to the garage, I tried to push Sienna out of my mind. Her scent clung to me and my car. Just the thought of her was getting me hard. Five minutes later, I was backing into the garage as Noah and Evan arrived.
They parked in the alley and Noah stepped out, asking, “What the hell was that about?”
Evan looked around.
“Nothing.” I rubbed the back of my neck, still feeling agitated by how my lunch with Sienna had gone.
“Everything all right?” Noah asked with squished brows.
“Yeah.” Noah waved Evan to my Mustang and I wondered if Sienna’s scent was as strong to them as it was to me.
I busied myself on the sidelines as Noah and Evan poked their heads into my car. Noah knew more about the car than most of my other brothers, and Evan couldn’t wait to sit behind the wheel.
Sliding himself into the driver’s seat, Evan got an idea of how it would feel to drive. “You must get so much tail driving this thing.”
Noah’s eyes flicked up to mine.
We shared a knowing glance.
“What was that?” Evan picked up on it. “Is there someone special in your life, Trevor Foster?”
I pushed off the bench and asked how the meetings went.
“Shit.” Evan’s head popped up over the roof. “What’s her name?”
I looked to Noah. “The credit is available,” he said. “Next step is to visit the ranches in person.”
Evan jogged over to us. He flung his arm around Noah’s neck and looked at me. “You know who is really into cars?” He paused to look at Noah. “Becca.”
Noah pushed Evan away.
Evan held up his hands. “What? It’s true.”
“Why haven’t I heard anything about this girl?” I asked my brother.
“Easy. Because there isn’t anything to discuss.”
“There is.” Evan smiled. “I know you’re still talking to her.” Evan nodded.
Just as I was going to press Evan for more information on my brother’s secret lover, my cell started ringing. Seeing that it was the PI, I stepped outside and answered. “Did you find anything?”
“I did.”
“And?”
“Meet me at the steakhouse on the south side of town at six.”
Looking up the street, I imagined seeing Sienna walking toward me. My jaw clenched and my hand made a fist. “Just tell me now.”
“Uh-uh. You need to see what I found in person.”
20
Sienna
I wasn’t myself.
The empty feeling in the pit of my stomach reminded me what was at stake.
It had for
med when I left Trevor, and slowly grew larger throughout the day. Now that I was at my parents’ house getting ready for the family dinner, I could barely look myself in the eye. There was a thickness in my throat that wouldn’t go away, and the persistent cycle of sweats and chills reminded me of the flu.
I finished brushing my hair and turned away from the mirror.
Not once did I imagine I would feel so down on the weekend of my wedding. This was supposed to be exciting; a happy time I would remember forever; the best day of my life. Instead, it was becoming one of the worst.
I heard my bedroom door open and a second later Mom poked her head inside, holding up a dress. I pulled my arms to my core and gave her a blank look.
“What is it?” Mom asked.
I rubbed the back of my neck and turned toward the mirror. There were dark bags under my eyes; I looked horrendous. I couldn’t stop thinking about my conversation with Trevor. I felt awful for how we’d left things—again. He treated me like gold, and still I was too afraid to tell him the complete truth of why we couldn’t be together.
Mom carefully draped the dress across the white leather bench before turning her attention toward me. She stood next to me, placing a firm hand on the small of my bare back. Mom’s eyes drifted over my body, but I was still stuck on Trevor.
I fought to breathe normally but couldn’t fill my lungs no matter how hard I tried.
When I thought about the surprised look flash across Trevor’s face when I admitted that I had another man in my life, I felt ill. It was wrong from the beginning, and I deserved to pay the price for my deceit. He knew it was the man who’d hit me, and I hated that I was too afraid to stand up to my father and tell him what Gary had done to me.
“You look beautiful, baby.” Mom smiled.
My chest tightened and I snapped. “Mom, I told you that I’m not going to wear that dress.”
Mom’s lips turned downward.
“Just let me wear what I want.” My sudden outburst reminded me of how on edge I felt.
Mom nodded with parted lips. The lines on her face were as confused as I felt.