Closing her eyes, she tried to fall asleep. Instead of visions of sugarplums dancing in her head, memories of Cole filled her mind. Each scene played out from the first time she threw her arms around his neck and begged him to kiss her, to the magical train ride, kissing under the mistletoe, and then chopping down a Christmas tree for a family in need. She squeezed her eyelids tight, trying to blot out the memories of Sunday night’s dinner.
Why had she pushed him away, and what was she so afraid of?
She rolled over on her side, keeping her right hand elevated, and stared at the poster of Captain America that Logan had given her last year when the new film had come out. All her life she’d marched to the beat of her own drum and not the one other girls did.
Just because she preferred hacking a computer over cooking didn’t mean she didn’t want to be a mother or a wife. Most guys liked the fact she’d rather watch an action hero movie over some chick-lit romance. That didn’t mean she didn’t like romance. Lucy loved debugging programs, but she also liked curling her hair and dressing up. She loved baking cookies, and bread, but she hated cooking.
Her phone chimed a text message, and she scrambled to sit up to find it. Her pulse quickened when the message was from Cole.
Sorry I haven’t been in contact. Crazy day at the office. How did the shopping go? Do I need to pick anything up?
Her hands shook slightly as she accessed her voice to text option. My mom and the ladies were incredible. They’re in wrapping everything up right now.
Great! How’s your finger?
She was tempted to exaggerate her symptoms in hopes he’d make another house call, but went with the truth. Good. Throbs a little from walking around for a few hours, but I’m elevating it now.
Anticipation for his reply made her feel giddy. He sounded normal, like they were friends again. The seconds ticked by until five minutes had passed. Lucy stared at the phone, feeling as if she couldn’t catch her breath.
Finally, she saw three dots appear, letting her know he was typing a reply. It came a few seconds later.
Uncle Will just called. He and Beverly have an idea about how to deliver the presents to the Parkers. I’ll call you later with the details.
Lucy sat back against the wall, feeling a little let down. While she was happy the community was eager to give the Parkers a good Christmas, it meant she and Cole weren’t spending very much time together. She’d promised to help him see how wonderful Christmas could be. Although, now that she thought about it, she’d already reached that goal. Changing Cole’s mind and heart about Christmas hadn’t been that difficult.
The time she had left to spend with him was dwindling faster than she wanted. She saw the pretty red dress hanging on her closet, and was glad at least she’d get to spend an evening dancing with Cole at the Christmas Ball.
Suddenly her phone chimed another text, and she glanced at the screen. The message was from Cole. Lucy wanted to cry when she read the quick note.
BTW, since I’m single and without a family, I volunteered to take the ER shift on Christmas Day for a doctor with a young family. I knew you’d understand, and have more fun at the dance without stressing about your mom or anyone else thinking we’re a couple.
Moisture gathered in her eyes, and she felt a tear slide down her cheek. She was so stupid. Maybe she’d expected Cole to be as persistent as Lance had been all these years. But it was too late now. She’d made her decision clear, and now she’d have to deal with it.
Chapter Fifteen
COLE FOLLOWED UNCLE WILL AND BEVERLY into the church for Christmas Eve services. He felt like the third wheel even more since Uncle Will had proposed to Beverly last night, and they were acting very much like a newly engaged couple.
Pastor John greeted them enthusiastically. “I’m happy to finally meet you, Dr. Taggart,” the pastor said with a firm handshake. “What you and Lucy did for the Parkers is what Christmas is all about.”
A lump formed in Cole’s throat at the mention of Lucy’s name. “We just started it but the rest of the community jumped on board.” Cole grinned at Will and Beverly. “Mr. and Mrs. Claus here delivered the presents after the parade, making all the effort worthwhile.”
Uncle Will and Bev had dressed up last night, and given a spectacular performance for Allie and her children. Cole had met Lucy and her family near the Carpenter house and they’d stayed hidden, and observed the whole thing.
After, they’d all returned to Lucy’s house for donuts and hot chocolate. It’d been difficult being around Lucy, trying to act as if he only saw her as a friend. The act had been easier to pull off after Lucy mentioned how kind it was of him to take the ER shift for the other doctor so he could be with his family on Christmas Day. Part of him had hoped she’d be a little disappointed, but the way she boasted about what a nice person he was to her family made him believe she was probably relieved.
Pastor John turned a twinkling eye to Will and Bev. “I heard all about that. I also hear congratulations are in order.” He shook both of their hands. “When is the happy occasion taking place?”
“We’re not getting any younger,” Uncle Will said, putting an arm around his fiancée. “Would you be able to perform the ceremony right after the new year?”
“I’d be happy to!”
With other members of the congregation waiting to greet the pastor, Cole followed behind his uncle down the aisle to find an open pew.
“Go ahead and slide on in there,” Uncle Will said to Cole. “Bev and I like to be on the end.”
Cole eyed his uncle suspiciously as he glanced down the already occupied bench. Lila and Lamont Phillips were already seated there, along with their family. Lucy watched him as he sat down next to her.
“Hi,” he said, “I hope this seat isn’t taken.” She looked beautiful in a red dress, her blonde hair hanging in loose curls around her shoulders. She smelled good too.
“It is now,” she said softly.
Uncle Will and Beverly slid in next to him, and then asked if he could scoot down a little to give them more room.
Cole inched over until his arm was flush with Lucy’s. It was obvious what Will and Bev were trying to do. He just hoped Lucy didn’t think he was behind it.
Not sure what to say, Cole focused on the front of the chapel. Candle’s flickered with a soft glow as the organist played Silent Night.
Up ahead a few rows in front of them, Cole spotted Lance with his arm around a pretty woman. It took him a second to realize it was Allie Parker. She turned her head and looked up at Lance with a smile as bright as the star that appeared the night the Savoir was born.
Allie no longer looked like the worn-out mother of two sick children. She looked beautiful in a deep purple dress, her brown hair soft and shiny instead of pulled up in a messy ponytail. TJ and Hailey sat in between Lance’s parents. They both had on new clothes that Cole knew were a perfect fit thanks to Lila Phillips.
“They look happy, don’t they?” Lucy whispered next to his ear. Her warm breath sent a ripple of heat through him.
He glanced down at her, wondering if part of her was bothered by Lance moving on so quickly. “Yeah, they do.”
She smiled, and his chest tightened with awareness. He could see she was genuinely happy Lance and Allie had found one another. He wished things could be different between them, but wouldn’t push it unless Lucy gave him an indication her feelings had changed.
The organ music stopped and Pastor John welcomed the congregation. Cole tried to pay attention to the program, but was easily distracted by Lucy’s nearness. Their arms brushed each time she moved, and he could smell the alluring scent of her perfume. When the service came to a close, Cole swallowed back his disappointment. Lucy was leaving, and this was probably the last time he’d see her for a while.
As the people filed out, Lucy stood and handed Cole his wool jacket. “I keep forgetting to give this back to you.”
“You sure you don’t need it?” A light floral scent wafte
d around him. His coat would probably smell just like her.
“No. My mom has plenty of coats that have a big enough sleeve.” She smiled, and held up her bandaged finger. “Besides, my finger is feeling better every day. Today the pain has hardly bothered me.”
“I’m glad to hear it.”
Lance and Allie walked toward them, holding hands. They stopped next to the pew.
“Dr. Taggart,” Allie said with a smile. “It’s nice to see you again.”
“It’s good to see you too.” Cole nodded his head toward Lance’s parents who were walking with the TJ and Hailey. “It looks like your children are feeling better.”
“Thanks to you.” She glanced up at Lance. “Moving here has been the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
Lance grinned. “Me too.”
Allie laughed softly, her face turning a rosy pink that only added to her beauty.
“Allie,” Lance said. “I’d like you to meet a good friend of mine from high school.” He nodded toward Lucy. “This is Lucy Phillips.”
Lucy shook Allie’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Allie.”
“Lance has told me so much about you.”
“Uh oh,” Lucy teased. “I hope he said a few good things.”
“Of course. I want to take a few online classes to help me get a better job, and he said I should talk to you about what might be helpful. He told me how smart and successful you are and that you live in California. Maybe I could talk to you before you fly back?”
“Sure, but I’m scheduled to fly back early Saturday afternoon. I’ve got a meeting I need to be ready for on Monday.”
Cole knew she was flying back soon after Christmas, he just didn’t think it was that soon. He wanted to take a step away from her, distance himself even more so when she went home it wouldn’t hurt as bad.
“Oh, I’m sorry you can’t spend more time with your family,” Allie said. “I’m sure that’s hard living so far away from them.”
“It is.” Lucy’s eyes flickered to Cole for a brief second. “This visit has really made me realize how much I miss them.”
Cole shifted on his feet. Was Lucy trying to send the message that just because she chose to live in California, it didn’t mean she didn’t love or miss her family?
“Would it be all right if she emails you?” Lance asked.
“Sure. You already have it, right?”
“Yeah. Thanks, Lucy.”
Lance’s parents had caught up to them, and the two kids were bouncing up and down with excitement.
“Can we go home now?” TJ asked. “Santa said we need to get to bed early so he can come Christmas Eve.”
Allie ruffled the boy’s hair. “Yes.” She looked up at Lucy and then Cole. “Have a merry Christmas.”
“You too,” Cole and Lucy said at the same time.
They watched the family leave. Cole turned to look at Lucy. “You okay about that?” he asked.
She drew her eyebrows together. “Of course. Lance and I talked the other night and came to a mutual understanding. I’m happy he’s found someone to love.”
Cole swallowed. With Lance truly out of the picture, it looked like his temporary role as her boyfriend had officially come to an end. “Well, I guess we need to get to bed too if we want Santa to come,” Cole teased. He stepped sidewise and motioned for her to start walking.
Lucy stared at him for a few seconds before she nodded her head, and slowly moved forward. Cole walked beside her, wishing things could be different. Part of him wanted to beg her to reconsider his job offer to update his medical practice, but knew it wasn’t fair to pressure her like that. His mother, and then Nikki had both criticized Cole’s decision to go into family practice rather than into a more lucrative medical career. He would never do that to Lucy.
They made it to the foyer just as Lila Phillips invited them over for pie and coffee. “Thank you for the offer, Lila, but we all need to get to bed,” Uncle Will said. “Bev and I have to get up early to drive to Billings. We’re spending Christmas Day with Bev’s nephew and family.” He pointed to Cole. “And my nephew graciously volunteered to take the ER shift tomorrow so a colleague can spend Christmas with his wife and children.”
Lila looked at Cole with admiration. “That’s very kind of you.”
Cole shrugged. “He’s got a young family and I don’t. It seemed like the right thing to do.” She didn’t need to know his motive to volunteer hadn’t been just about letting the doctor on call have the day off, it had been more about self-preservation. Attending the Christmas Ball and dancing with Lucy would be torture, knowing it was only temporary.
Lucy’s brothers seemed just as excited about Christmas Eve as the younger children. “Let’s go home,” Landon said. “Logan and I still need to make up our bed in Lucy’s room.”
Lucy laughed. “When did you guys change your mind?”
She’d told Cole all about the tradition of her little brothers sleeping in her room Christmas Eve, and how disappointed she was when the boys informed her they were too old to be sleeping in their big sister’s room.
“Well,” Logan said, looking from Cole to Lucy. “Dad reminded us you won’t always be single, and this could be the last year we get to keep up our tradition.”
Cole watched Lucy’s face turn red. “I don’t think I’m getting married anytime soon,” she said. “But I’m glad you changed your mind.”
Lucy’s family, Uncle Will and Beverly all pinned a questioning eye on both Lucy and Cole. The collar of his shirt suddenly felt too small. “Have fun tonight, and Merry Christmas,” he said, fumbling with the wool jacket Lucy had returned. As soon as he slipped it on, he realized his mistake. It smelled just like her. Avoiding her eyes, he glanced at his uncle. “You ready to go?”
Uncle Will’s forehead wrinkled. “Yep. Let me get Bev’s coat.”
Cole felt conspicuous as everyone donned their coats. As they filed out of the church into the cold, crisp air, he finally met Lucy’s gaze. In the moonlight, her eyes appeared bright. Was she crying?
“Merry Christmas, Cole.” She leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek, and then whispered, “Thank you for being such a good friend.”
Before he could gather his wits, she spun on her heels and quickly followed her family to their car. He stared after her, feeling very much like crying himself.
“You sure nothing more is going on between you two?” Uncle Will asked.
Cole shook his head. “Lucy isn’t interested in having me for anything but a friend.”
“Is that what you want?” Beverly asked softly.
Giving her a wistful smile, Cole said, “What I want doesn’t matter. Forcing someone to change only destroys that person. I would never do that to her.”
Not wanting to talk about it anymore, Cole started toward his Uncle’s car. He should’ve stuck to his original plan which didn’t include falling in love.
Chapter Sixteen
AS LUCY PACKED HER SUITCASE FRIDAY EVENING, she tried to ignore the heavy feeling of hopelessness. While Christmas had been nice, she couldn’t shake the melancholy shrouding her. Cole hadn’t called or texted. Several times she typed a message but ended up deleting it each time. He’d made it clear her decision to only be friends suited him just fine.
The Christmas Ball had been dismal, and for the first time she’d wished Lance would have been pestering her for a dance. Not because her feelings had changed, but because she was lonely, and it seemed everyone had a significant other but her.
Folding the last of the new clothes she received for Christmas, she added them to the over-stuffed bag and glanced at the digital clock. Surely Cole was awake by now, even if he’d needed to catch up on sleep. He knew her plane left tomorrow, and she’d at least expected to hear from him today, if only to say goodbye.
Someone knocked on her door. “Lucy?” her father said. “Can I come in?”
“Sure, Dad. It’s open.”
The hinges creaked as her father ent
ered the room. “Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you to the airport tomorrow?”
She shook her head. “You and Mom promised to take the boys skiing. I should’ve known better than to book my flight so early.”
“Can’t you change it? I wish you could come with us.”
“No, I already tried. With the holidays the only thing I can get would be late Sunday night. My meeting is first thing Monday morning and I’d never make it on time.”
She tried zipping her bag shut, but it was too full. “I may need to borrow another bag. You and Mom shouldn’t have given me so many gifts.”
“Let me do it, honey.”
Moving to the side, she allowed her father to help. She was so lucky to have the family she had, and knew she had taken them for granted all these years. He zipped the bag closed, and pulled it off of her bed.
“Thank you, Dad.” She hugged him tight. For some reason the tears she’d been keeping at bay the past few days started to flow.
“Hey, now. What’s this all about?”
“I don’t know.” She sniffed, and buried her face into his flannel shirt. “I’m just going to miss everyone so much.”
Her father patted her back. “Are you sure it doesn’t have more to do with a certain doctor?”
She stilled, and squeezed her eyes shut. “No,” she lied.
“Lucy.” Her father gently set her back from him so he could see her face. “I don’t think you’re telling me the truth.”
She pressed her quivering lips together, and felt a tear slide down her cheek. “Cole is just a friend.”
“I might be old, but I’m not stupid. When he came to dinner on Sunday, the electricity zipping between the two of you was powerful enough to light up every Christmas light in the city.” He gave her a stern look. “Something happened that night, and you haven’t been the same since.”
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