I returned his look. “I think sometimes we should just leave things buried in the shed.”
He hesitated then shook his head. “So, that’s it?”
“That’s it.”
The moment went awkward. Fast.
I closed my eyes for a second and then turned back to the car.
“I mean it, you look real good,” he said, his voice soft.
The way my chest tightened, I had to suck in a long breath.
He didn’t wait for a response. “But it looks like you’re fixing to leave—so it doesn’t matter, I guess.”
“What doesn’t matter, Kevin?” I stopped.
I didn’t see his face, so I don’t know how he looked when he said it, but I would have liked to see it.
“I just want you to know that I’m sorry.”
Chapter Six
I SAT IN THE HOSPITAL ROOM. The buzzing of the television on low, the heart rate monitor going. My hand in my dad’s. He looked better today. He’d been eating when I got there, so I tried to help him, feeling like I had turned into my fluttering mother.
Then he’d taken my hand and said he needed to rest.
I looked at our hands intertwined. I pinched the bridge of my nose and thought of the sound of the heart monitor last night going off. Even though I didn’t trust him anymore…I didn’t want him to die.
I hadn’t told him I was going back. I figured I could just wait until I had to.
Kevin’s face kept coming into my brain. I’d told my brain a long time ago after serious, arduous pain and reflection to forget his face. The details—like the tiny scar next to his left eye that squeezed into the creases when he laughed. Or the way I thought his dark, black hair always made the edges of his face seem more chiseled. Or how he had a way of always laughing at what I said, like I’d said it as a joke, when I clearly hadn’t.
Usually, well, before—it didn’t tick me off when he did that. Actually, it had always made me feel funnier than I was. Funnier. Happier.
Today, it hadn’t gone that way.
Because I wouldn’t let it go that way.
Confusion whipped inside my brain. Whenever my mom brought him up, I always told her I didn’t want to know. When she even breathed the Snow name, I would cut her off and change the subject. So she’d stopped and I realized that, on purpose, I knew nothing about Kevin since he’d told me he needed time to figure things out.
Whatever. A person could only take so much emotional wreckage in the period of twenty-four hours. Mind—quit thinking about his face, I commanded.
“Hello.”
I yanked myself straighter as Pastor John entered the room. Warmth filled me and I stood.
He was already at my side, pulling me into a hug.
I pulled back and let out a light laugh. “I saw the sign yesterday, I liked it.”
The side of his head cocked to the side. “What can I say—we are living in a Facebook world and I am a Facebook Pastor.”
Genuine laughter came out of me. Pastor John was one person I had always wanted an update on from my mother.
His eyes filled with concern as he looked at my father. “I heard about his scare last night. He’s doing better today?”
I nodded. “The doctor says it might be a slow recovery, but he thinks the symptoms that led to the heart attack can be controlled with lots of rest.”
Pastor John’s face was grave. “Are you coming to the fireworks tonight?”
“No, I have a plane to catch at seven.”
My father’s grip tightened on my hand. “Molly.” His voice was raspy.
“A plane?” Pastor John’s eyes widened.
All of my attention went to my father, I leaned over him. “I’m getting my own store, I have to go back. It’s a crazy time of year.”
I didn’t know if it was my imagination that his eyes seemed more watery when he opened them, or if they were the same amount of watery as usual. He grinned. “I wish you didn’t have to go, but I’m proud that you work hard, my Molly.”
Yes, he would know what it meant to pour your life and soul into your work and finally get some results. That’s what he did day in and day out—poured his life into that ranch.
Another squeeze, less hard, tightened around my hand. He closed his eyes. “My Molly.”
“Yes.”
“I love you.”
Everything about those words filled me with a remembrance of the piggy tails he tried really hard to make when my mother had to leave early for work. The already vulnerable part inside of me went to Jell-O. I blinked and looked at Pastor John, embarrassed. “I’m sorry I have to leave.”
Pastor John touched my shoulder. “Molly.”
I jolted.
He winked at me. “I am so glad you’re home. I’m sorry for the circumstances, but I’m glad you came.”
“Y-yeah.”
“I do have a little favor.”
At that moment, my mother walked through the door. When she saw the Pastor, her face brightened. “Pastor John.”
They hugged and he patted her arm as he pulled back. “He looks better today.”
The look my mother gave me spoke volumes. Obviously, she was ticked at me. She went for my father’s other hand and fussed with the sheets, tucking them around him. “He does look better.”
“Hi, my Katie.” My father opened his eyes for a second and then closed them. “I’m just resting.”
She frowned and glanced at me. “Has the doctor been in today?”
“Just the nurses.”
My phone buzzed loudly.
I quickly pulled it from my pocket and looked at the text from Stan Hollingsworth.
JUST TALKED TO SALLY, HAVING PROBLEMS WITH THE COMPUTER.
“I’m fine.” My father didn’t open his eyes. “I just need some rest.”
With that, my mother frowned at me. “I think we need to move out of the room to talk to visitors.”
The pastor sighed. “I’m sorry, Katie.” He went for the door.
I followed and texted Stan back.
I’LL CHECK ON IT.
I held my phone out. “I’ve got to go make a call real quick.”
Pastor John turned around and motioned me to a waiting area. “Molly, let me tell you about that favor.”
My mother joined us. “Favor? Didn’t she tell you she was leaving?”
I exhaled and looked away. I would not do this with her.
Pastor John patted her arm then turned back to me. “You said your plane’s not until tonight?”
I nodded my affirmation and, in my peripheral vision, I saw someone. “Yes, that’s right.” A nervous flutter went through me. I realized the guy in my peripheral was Kevin.
He was no longer dressed in Carhartt. He wore dark jeans and a black button down shirt. His black hair that had been tucked under his beanie was longer than before. It was styled in that messy gelled way that male models wore in magazines.
The fact that my heart rate went up a notch and all I could think about was the last time he’d kissed me, right before he’d told me he needed ‘time,’ was not good.
He didn’t look at me. Just held a brown bag out toward my mother. “Hey, my mom wanted me to bring up some lunch. She thought you might be hungry.” He winked at my mother. “Hospital cooking will kill you, ya know.”
I recognized the look my mother gave him—like he was an angel. Yes, her personal Christmas angel. She took the food and gave him a hug. “Pastor, did you know that he’s been doing all our morning chores for us?”
The Pastor slapped Kevin on the back. “Kevin’s a good soul, yes, he is.” He cleared his throat. “It seems like there’s been lots of chore doing by strapping young men in Snow Valley lately.” He let out a soft laugh.
I gave him a confused look.
Pastor John shook his head. “Never mind.”
“How is he?” Kevin looked at my mother.
The edges of my mother’s lips stayed in her ‘you’re my hero’ face. “Better. Thank y
ou. Thank you so much for everything.”
“Well,” Kevin said, shrugging, “I didn’t do anything, but you’re welcome Mrs. O.”
It wasn’t only that Kevin looked good at this moment. Dang good. He had obviously been doing those push-ups that he talked about. He looked more like a man than the boy I’d grown up with. His facial hair was perfectly trimmed. Begrudgingly, I admitted that he was hot. Completely hot. Too bad I definitely didn’t care.
The pastor smiled at him, then turned back to me. “I need you to decorate a tree.”
I was dumbfounded. “What?”
“The favor I needed.” Pastor John pushed back his glasses.
“A tree?” My mother echoed my confusion.
Kevin stuck a thumb at me. “Her?”
Pastor John amicably pasted on, what I’m sure he would call his ‘pastor smile.’ “Yes, poor Addy Haze called me in a panic this morning because she hasn’t gotten the tree in front of the hospital decorated.” He tapped his watch. “And time is running short. She’s been under a lot of pressure this year and her crew has all gotten sick.”
Okay, I had to admit that decorating a tree was not the ‘favor’ I thought the pastor would ask of me. Especially decorating the gigantic tree in front of the hospital. I thought he would ask that I call my mother more or keep saying my prayers at night. An actual favor hadn’t crossed my mind. I sized him up.
“You and the gang did such a great job of decorating that cabin at bible camp that year.” He winked at me.
“O-kay.” But I couldn’t believe he’d brought up that summer. I thought about the way the outhouse had ‘accidentally’ burnt to the ground that year. He’d never told our parents, but this felt like a threat. I evaluated him. He looked innocent enough, but the pastor had a streak of manipulation about him. “Hmm…”
“On my way here I just had the thought pop into my mind, ‘Ask Molly.’”
How do you argue with a pastor when he basically says God told him to ask? You don’t.
“I just thought, if you’re going to be here …” he left it hanging.
“Actually, I probably need to sit with my dad.” I would call his bluff.
“No, you don’t.” My mother was back to the pinched look on her face. “I think doing something to serve this community would be good for you.” She crossed her arms. “You know your father would want you to help the Pastor if he needs help.”
I crossed my arms back. “Well.”
My mother cocked an eyebrow. “It won’t take you that long, you should do it.”
“I don’t have any lights.” I threw back at her. “Or decorations.”
Pastor John let out a muffled laugh and then cleared his throat. “I asked Addy about the decorations from years past and she isn’t exactly sure where they are.”
“I have lights. We’ve used them to decorate the house, but mom wanted smaller lights this year.” Kevin’s voice was tentative.
For a second, I didn’t acknowledge that he’d said it.
“I’ll just get them out of the shed.” Kevin pasted on a fake smile. I knew it was fake because I’d seen him practice it many, many times in the mirror when we were younger.
I pasted on my fake sad face. “I don’t think I need your help.”
The pastor put his hand up. “Whoa. Yes, Kevin, that would be great.” He gave me a slight frown. “Remember, the Lord provides in mysterious ways, Molly. Take his miracles when you get them.” He promptly did an about face. “I have others to visit, but I’ll look forward to the finished product. Kevin, just Facebook message me when you all are done.”
“Okay, Pastor.” Kevin’s eyes didn’t leave mine. “What do you think, Mol? There might be something useful in that shed after all.”
Chapter Seven
THE CARHARTT SUIT MY PARENTS HAD stored for me fit better now than it actually had in high school. I’d dropped a few pounds the last couple of years. If Christina hadn’t been my roommate, I would have dropped more.
Kevin sat next to me on the rear of his pickup, pulling lights one by one out of the box.
I inspected them and, if need be, switched out the fuse. In no way was this how I envisioned myself spending the last of my time in Snow Valley. I’d called Sally and she had frantically told me how the computer had been freezing and our system inventory wasn’t scanning the jewelry properly, but she thought it was figured out. I promised her I would be back tonight and could figure it out before the store opened tomorrow.
Kevin and I had mutually, without talking, agreed we wouldn’t talk. Which was ludicrous because it felt like he was punishing me when I was the one who deserved to punish him.
One, two, three, four…
“Quit counting in your head.” Kevin picked through more lights.
I blinked. The fact he knew I was counting was a stark reminder that, yes, he knew me that well. “I wasn’t.”
“Yeah. You were. I can always tell when you’re doing it because the little line between your eyes deepens.”
Reflexively, I touched my forehead.
A soft laugh that sounded more like a long sigh came out of him. He stopped shuffling lights and stared at me.
For the first time, I looked into his eyes. Really looked. They had always been a piercing green. If I didn’t know him, I would have thought he wore contacts.
“What?”
I shook my head and went back to changing a light fuse. “Don’t do that.”
“What? Tell you to stop counting?”
“Yes.” I snapped.
The way his lips stretched into a smile told me he was enjoying this moment very much. “It feels like nothing has changed.”
“Everything’s changed.”
“Oh really? Do you have a boyfriend that I should know about?”
In the most absurd way, I knew I was blushing. I also knew there was nothing I could do about it, so I refused to answer.
He scooted closer to me. “I saw your pinky ring. Is that from your guy?”
“My guy?” I spat it out like food with too much salt.
His shoulder lifted and he looked back at the lights as if he didn’t care. “It looked like a Christmas present, that’s all.” He hoisted a finished strand of lights toward the tree in front of the hospital.
“What if it is from my guy?” I shouted after him.
“Then that would be too bad.” He flung back, but kept walking.
A nervous pulse went through me. A twinge. That twinge you get when the boy you like confides that he likes you back. It was stupid. Completely stupid. Because I was over Kevin. I’d been over him for a long, long time.
After continuing to pick my way through another strand of lights, methodically checking all the fuses to see if they were burnt out or not, I carried it toward the tree.
Kevin was on top of a ladder and another hospital worker I didn’t recognize was helping him. Carefully, I dumped the strand next to the ladder.
Kevin looked down at me, grinning. “Bout time.” He started descending the ladder.
I ignored him and went back to the truck.
“Hold on.”
Reluctantly, I looked back.
A snowball landed squarely against the side of my face.
Soft laughter. “Does your guy throw snowballs at you, Mol?”
Extreme anger burned inside me. He did not just do that. The mature part of me turned away from him. The mature part of me picked up another strand of lights and put them on the back of the truck. The mature part of me watched Kevin laughing as he looked at the other worker and said, “Gus, I have to use the bathroom, I’ll be back in a sec.”
Then the immature part of me hatched a plan.
Five minutes later, Kevin walked out of the hospital and the first snowball in my arsenal flew right into the side of his head. A rush of adrenaline whooshed through me and I couldn’t stop myself. I laughed, relishing the part of this where I got to throw things at him. I didn’t pause to feel the full enjoyment of it, I threw a
nother and another, knowing I wouldn’t have long to get them off.
Kevin immediately whirled in my direction and ran like a storm trooper under threat of death toward me.
I picked up two more snowballs and took off running into the deeper snow around the side of the hospital. I fired off a last shot and gulped out a laugh at the way Kevin’s snowman face looked as he grabbed me and pulled me down. “You just woke the giant, my friend,” he said.
My fall wasn’t long, being that I’d ventured into the deep snow, but it was cold. I struggled to get away from him. “Let me go!”
He tugged my hat off and shook out my hair. This is what he did. Had done. Used to do. Snow flew around me. “Take that! You redheads think you can get away with anything.”
Crazy giggles came out of me. The kind of giggles I hadn’t giggled in as long as I could remember.
“Now, you shall pay young Skywalker.” He took some snow and stuffed it into my collar.
“Stop!” I yelled and remembered that he always quoted Star Wars. It felt like forever since we’d been twelve and he’d made me watch all six movies.
Finally, he stopped. His cheeks were red, his aqua eyes were happy and his lips…were roughly two inches from mine.
Butterflies erupted into my chest. Both of us were breathing hard. For a second, I thought he was going to kiss me.
The way his happy eyes went instantly sad, made me breathless. “Do you have a guy, Mol?”
I wanted to give some quip, the kind that would be flirtatious, yet mysterious. I exhaled and wondered how I could so vividly remember the way my lips felt against his. “No.” I answered quietly. “Do you…have someone?” I asked quickly.
The way he gently reached out and pushed a strand of hair out of my mouth, made my insides go completely gooey. He peered into my eyes. “There’s never been anyone else.”
At this point, I could feel myself teeter, on that edge between my feelings in the past and the real time of the present. I flinched back, my breath coming out in manic puffs. I clumsily shoved myself to my feet. I could not do this. “We have to finish the lights.”
He was beside me, helping me through the snow to the sidewalk in front of the hospital. “Molly?”
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