He stopped and began attaching one of the stars. “But, it doesn’t matter, Mol.” He let out a laugh. It had turned angry and hollow. “Nothing matters. Not you. Not Janet.” His voice broke. He paused and took in a rough breath. “Not God’s plan or…Christmas.”
I watched him shake. He was crying.
Panic surged through me. “Kevin, come down, you’ll fall if you’re not careful.” He would fall. Tonight of all nights would be the night that would happen. Thoughts of another horrible hospital scene went through my mind.
He wiped his eyes. “I’m fine.”
“No.” The certainty of this pounded into my gut. “You’re not fine. Please get down.”
“I’m not getting down.” He covered his face and the ladder shook even more. “I’ll be fine.”
“Kevin.” I actually stomped my boot. “Kevin Reynolds Snow…get down!”
He sniffed. “I’m getting this done!”
“Well, take a break and then do it when you’re thinking clearer.”
“Just go.”
“No.”
“You’re going to miss your flight if you don’t leave now.”
I looked around at the ‘new hospital,’ at the stars on the tree, at Kevin crying. I made a decision that would definitely make the Hollingsworth’s wonder if they should have shaved the ten grand off of the franchise buy in. “I’m not leaving.”
Chapter Eleven
KEVIN’S FACE WENT BLANK. “You’re staying?”
It was weird that all I’d wanted to do since coming back to Snow Valley was leave, but it felt like a huge relief to say, “Yes, I’m staying.”
The way Kevin’s whole face lit up made the sacrifice almost worth it. “Well.”
“Come down, please.”
Kevin finished fastening the other star and then headed down. He did something that would have counted as the fourth time he took me off guard, if I was counting. He hugged me.
A long hug. His breath tickled my ear as he said, “Welcome home, Mol. It’s about time.”
I didn’t pull away. “I’m not back,” I said, clarifying, “I’m just staying for a day or two.”
He grinned. “Tell me what he said to you when he gave you that ring.”
“What?” It took me off guard.
“A man doesn’t give a woman a ring, any ring, without saying something.”
I thought of the sincerity on Sean’s face and instantly touched the ring. “He said…he said he hoped it would guide me to whatever I needed in my life.”
***
It only took us another hour to finish doing all the stars. I trudged up and down on Gus’s ladder, fastening them with the wires. There was a strange peace that spread through me. It was just like the first time my father had taught me how to ice skate on the pond. I’d fallen a couple of times, but he’d helped me get up and get up again. By that night, I was skating pretty well and I remembered looking around and feeling like the trees were talking to me. I hadn’t thought about that in a long, long time.
I climbed down the ladder and Kevin was staring up at it. The lights were on, in their silver and blue colors. The silver stars made the whole tree look…like it had truly been designed by someone that had planned it the whole time. “It’s beautiful.”
Kevin stood next to me, not speaking.
I turned. His eyes were on me. “It is beautiful. More beautiful than I remembered.”
The way he looked at me. The way he stared at me like I really was the most beautiful thing in the whole world, felt like he’d just taken the last two and a half years of brick walls I’d built around my heart and knocked them down with one blow.
I inhaled quickly and turned away. No. No. No.
“I’m going to go check in on Janet and Facebook message Pastor John.”
I nodded. “You go. I’m going to tell my parents that I’m here for a while.”
He touched my arm. “For a while?”
I shrugged. “I absolutely have to be back to the store for Christmas Eve, but I’ll work from here until then.”
The scar on the side of his eye creased as he smiled his ridiculous smile. “I’ll take what I can get.”
***
My father gazed up at me, a happy, content look in his pale blue eyes. “I knew if my Molly would just come home once, she wouldn’t be able to leave.”
Uncertainty circled into the lower part of my stomach. I’d made a rash decision. A rash decision that I was now second-guessing. So what if the boy I’d loved my whole life had confided that he knew everything about me? That didn’t mean anything. A flash of Christina saying love’s true kiss would find me on Christmas Eve popped into my mind.
My mother was next to me, gently pushing her hand down my hair. A smile on her face. “He’s asked about you every time he was home from school.” She shrugged. “And, I’m sorry, Molly, I had to tell him. He…you two were always so close. I just thought it would be cruel to completely cut him off.”
I threw my hands into the air, not really that mad. “So you told him about Sean?”
She grinned and her hand went to her hip, she gently rubbed it, kneading it. “Haven’t you ever heard that a man thinks something is more desirable when others find it desirable?”
I pushed two fingers against my left temple and massaged. “I told you Sean made me count my protein intake.”
Her hand flew to her mouth. “I know. Kevin and I had a good laugh about that.”
Embarrassment coursed through me.
My father cleared his throat.
I looked at his cheeks that were once again rosy. “Molly, do you like this Sean?”
I puffed out a breath. “Uh, no.”
He gestured to the ring on my finger. “Is the ring from him?”
“Yes.”
“And you wear it?”
“Ohmygosh, why does everyone ask about this silly ring?”
My mother touched it. “I think it’s sweet.”
My father cleared his throat. “Stars have meaning. Your Irish ancestors believed they were guided by the stars, my Molly. Did you know that?”
I shrugged. “Maybe.”
He pointed a finger at me. “The significance of the star to lead a people to freedom should not be ignored. Not only the Irish, but think of the people of this nation that were once enslaved. At night, they would travel through the Underground Railroad and they were guided by the North Star.” He pointed to my ring. “It looks the very same as that one.”
A shiver went through me. A star. To guide me. I thought of the stars on the tree. “I’m not enslaved, dad.”
The sides of his eyes creased. “Not all slavery is physical, my Molly.”
His words stunned me and my defenses went up. “What does that mean?”
He cocked his head to the side. “When you push people away that love you, you’re a slave to pain.”
This ticked me off. “You have no idea why I’ve done the things I’ve done.” I was suddenly out of breath.
My mother pulled me into her and frowned at my father. “Stop this. It’s not good for your heart.” She let me go and her face brightened. “All that matters is that you can be an angel in the Christmas Eve production now.”
I gave her a hooded look. “I have two days, Mom. Really a day and a half. The whole Hollingsworth family is leaving on Christmas Eve. I have to be back to help them with the store. Not to mention the fact that only little kids are in the play.”
She let out a speculative hum. “We’re your family, Molly. Me and your father.” She pointed to my dad. “Here. This is where you belong at Christmas. With us. Even if you’re not little anymore.”
There would be no way I was going to deal with that. I picked off the last bit of polish on my thumbnail. “I’m here, okay. I’m here for two days.”
My father put his hand up. “She’s right. I’m sorry, my Molly. You’re here and you’ll help get me settled in at home for Christmas. That’s all we need.”
Chapter
Twelve
WE STAYED AT THE HOSPITAL. The nurse brought in a Uno game. After three rounds I noticed my father was leaning back and closing his eyes.
“Let’s let him rest for the night.” My mother hurried and cleaned up the game.
As we left the hospital, I saw Kevin and Lacey, standing around the Christmas tree, hot chocolate in their hands, the fireworks exploding high into the sky above the tree.
He waved.
I waved back.
***
My mother was exhausted and went straight to bed, reminding me that it was my turn to make breakfast in the morning, so I better get some sleep.
I sat on my bed, staring at ten more text messages from Stan and Sally and now Joe, too. All begging me to come back to the store.
The last one from Stan.
CAN YOU CHECK THE INVENTORY THROUGH THE NETWORK? PASSCODE: BAHAMAS. TAKE CARE OF YOUR FAMILY.
Ironically, the plea for help with the store didn’t have the profound effect of spurning me to action as it would have had only twenty-four hours ago.
My phone buzzed, a long buzz. Christina.
I answered. “Chica.”
“Chica? That’s my line.”
I laughed. “You’ve copyrighted it?”
There was a pause. “Okay, who are you and what have you done with Molly? You should be back by now.”
Guilt surged into me. I’d texted her and told her that my dad was okay and that I would be coming home tonight. “I’m sorry. I…decided to stay.”
She didn’t miss a beat. “Because of the heartbreaker.”
I held my breath, not willing to admit or deny anything.
“Spill it, chica.”
“I don’t know where to begin.”
“At the beginning.” She urged.
“Hey, where’s Luis?”
She sighed. “Luis is coming to get me in an hour. We’re going to get something to eat and then smooch.”
“Don’t rub it in.”
“Spiiilll,” she begged.
Of course, I would spill. I spent the next ten minutes giving her the Cliff Notes on everything that had transpired since I’d seen her.
“Madre Mia! I didn’t know that I had such dream interpreting powers.” I could envision her eating the chocolate almonds that I’d noticed she’d stashed in the Christmas cookie jar. “But I’m glad your father is okay. The symbol I saw must have meant a health problem, that’s good to know.”
I smiled and missed her. “I don’t know, Christina, it’s like…it’s like I’ve spent so long feeling unwanted…”
“Oh, chica, are you talking about that letter?”
I jolted to attention. “Y…yes.” I’d shared it with her on another late night.
“You need to talk to your parents about that.”
I was silent.
She sighed. “I’m sorry, Molly, I just know they love you. It must have been some sort of mistake.”
“It’s fine. Look, I have to go.”
“Wait.”
I waited.
“I bet the heartbreaker has been pining over you since you’ve been gone.”
Her words warmed my heart, even if I didn’t believe them. “Thanks.”
She sighed. “I’ll tell ya, Kevin sounds like your soul mate.”
“I wouldn’t go that far.”
“I had another dream last night.”
“Stop.”
“I don’t know what it means but all I can remember is seeing your star smiling, like it was happy or something.”
Chapter Thirteen
THE NEXT MORNING I WOKE to the sound of the alarm on my phone. I had determined I would do the chores and get breakfast made for my mother. There was a possibility my father would come home today. That would be the best scenario for me being able to get back to the store. I would get everyone settled in and back to normal.
I breezed through the chores; I milked the cows, fed the cows, pigs, chickens and horses.
I took extra time with my horse, Sunshine. I hadn’t realized I’d missed her so much. I brushed long strokes down her legs and hummed out the Irish tune I hadn’t sung with my father in a long, long time.
“It’s almost like you’ve never left.”
I jumped, and turned to see Kevin leaning against the barn door, his beanie cap on, his sunglasses in his hand. “Geez, how long have you been there?”
He pushed away from the door, his eyes serious. “Long enough to decide we better hurry if we’re going to make it.”
“Make it where?”
He took the brush from me and put it on the bench next to Sunshine. “To the 5k and pancake breakfast, of course. C’mon, you’re mom’s hungry. Let’s see if all that running has made you fast enough to beat me.”
***
I’d brought my running shoes and my ‘cold gear’ in case I got a chance to get in a session.
Kevin’s eyes widened and he looked me up and down as we both prepared for the gunshot to begin the race. His eyebrows lifted. “Too thin,” he said and tsked his tongue. “Probably going to slow you down because you won’t have the stamina to keep up with me.”
I let my eyes wander down the muscled sleekness of him. I lifted my eyebrows in return and a shiver of anticipation raced through me. “You’re lean.”
A slow smile played on his lips. “'Bout time you notice I’ve been training.”
My hands flexed in and out. “What have you been training for?”
The shot fired and I took off. Fast.
Kevin easily matched my pace. “Maybe I’ve been training for this.”
I huffed out a laugh and noticed we were in front of the pack. “For the Christmas 5K?” I asked incredulously.
He didn’t look at me. “Or just for you.”
Another stir of nervous jitters went through me and I utilized the adrenaline to up my pace. “I can’t believe there hasn’t been someone else.”
He pursed his lips, but didn’t seem fazed by my increase in pace. “I…I was engaged.”
This admission, I had not been expecting. It did not bode well with me. I upped my pace, again.
We rounded a corner and Kevin laughed. “Hey, do I sense jealousy?”
I didn’t respond.
“I’m not engaged anymore. I remember the first time your mom told me you were dating some guy…Beau, right? Wasn’t that his name?”
Seriously. A blind date. Someone Christina had picked for me when she didn’t know me. I pushed harder. “Beau was nobody. I definitely wasn’t engaged to him.”
Kevin pushed harder, too. We ran past the Dollar Store and turned left, going on toward the high school. “Hey, you can be mad or whatever, but it’s stupid for you to be mad…because you left and never came back.”
“You told me you needed time!” I threw my arms up and my pace dropped a notch.
Kevin stayed next to me.
I shook my head. Kevin Snow had been engaged. Grrr. One. Two. Three.
“Stop counting.”
I pushed his shoulder. “I’m not counting! Go away!”
But, he didn’t go away. “Look, Mol—”
“I’m not mad because you were engaged.” I was, but I wasn’t admitting that. “I’m mad my mother told you everything about me.”
“You know when I showed up with a toolbox, your mother didn’t have a choice but to talk. That’s how I got her to agree to our first date, remember?”
I did remember. “Whatever.”
He let out a long breath. “I wish you would see everything for what it is.”
“What is it?” I yelled at him.
He lifted a shoulder and didn’t react to my anger. “I don’t know, Molly, maybe it’s a plan someone else is in charge of.”
We rounded the corner of the high school and headed out to the fair grounds. The roads were paved and had been cleared off and salted.
I let myself go into a flat out run for a second and enjoyed the release. Kevin had been engaged. Unease engulfed me. The ide
a that he’d shown up to fix things at my parent’s house to get information out of them about me left me breathless. I slowed. “You could have just called me.” I kept my voice steady.
“What?”
“You didn’t have to fix things at the house, you could have called.”
A mirthless laugh escaped him. “Right.”
“What? I’m serious. It’s not like I wouldn’t have talked to you…after a time.”
Another laugh. “Mol, I hate to break it to you, but forgiveness has never been your thing.”
“What?” This was not true. I’d forgiven him countless times.
“Do you remember the time Paisley asked me to sophomore formal? What did you do?”
Inwardly, I flinched. I didn’t realize he knew about this incident. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He laughed. “You’re kidding, right? You didn’t think my family would hear about it and report back to me? Do you know how many cousins I have in this town?”
The reminder didn’t work to his favor. “That’s right. The Snows.” I said his last name like it was poison.
“It was probably Brad, he could never keep his mouth shut.”
He pointed at me in accusation. “You’ve never liked my family.”
“Pfffft. Whatever.”
“You don’t, you said my last name like it’s a bad word.”
We began the last stretch back into town. “It’s not that your last name is a bad word, it’s just that…well, point in case, you all think you own this town. You all act like the rest of us are outsiders that need to be reported on.”
“Bull.”
“You just said your cousin told you.”
“Brad told me because he thought it was funny.”
It was another one of those moments that I could feel my cheeks redden.
“And he thought it was cute, too. Because you told Paisley you’d been waiting for me to wake up and notice you for a long, long time and you didn’t want her to mess it up.”
I tried to run even faster, but I couldn’t out pace him. “So what?”
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