“Two coffees and two strudels, please.” I smiled. I wasn’t ready to return to the house. I hoped that Jean-Paul was worried about me and thinking about how he hurt me.
“Monsieur, why do men and women see things differently?”
“It’s part of the allure, the differences.”
“Are you certain? Jean-Paul has confused me. We both know that the connection that we share is unique and difficult to define. We feel comfortable with each other, relaxed, yet excited. We are interested in what the other person is thinking and how each other is feeling. When we are together we don’t act selfish. We act like we are Siamese twins and what one twin needs affects us both. We have a rich, powerful relationship. Why would he consider giving me up to make my parents happy? That doesn’t feel like love.”
“Mademoiselle, you must ask Jean-Paul your question. He’s a man of honor. He will do what he feels is right, even if it’s not what he wants. He’s a good man,” he said.
“I understand that I must ask him. I was hoping for some perspective. I would like to understand why he would be willing to give up what we have in order to honor my parents, who didn’t love me enough to honor me? Why do they deserve more honor than I do? That’s my question to Jean-Paul.”
“Then return to the house and ask him.”
“I will. I am not ready to ask him yet. He can wait and wonder if I will ever speak to him again.”
Monsieur smiled at my dramatic behavior. “Your passion is infectious.”
“Do you think Jean-Paul can catch it?”
“I hope so.” He smiled a sincere smile. I tried to smile back, but all I could wonder was if I had already made the biggest mistake of my life.
***
Chapter Thirteen: The Power of Two
New York City, April, 1899
When Monsieur Batton and I arrived back at his home, I felt too angry to approach Jean-Paul. I didn’t say hello as I walked past his room. Madam announced that dinner would be served in thirty minutes. I politely declined.
“Mademoiselle, your feelings need to be spoken. You and Monsieur Soule need to communicate about your differences. Every relationship requires communication. If you two cannot communicate now, you will grow apart over time. I suggest you speak to him before dinner, so we can all enjoy a relaxed meal, please?” Perhaps Jean-Paul and I don’t have a relationship, I thought silently.
It was difficult to hear Madam’s words. My pride and heart were in such pain that I wanted to feel better before I spoke to him. Yet, I knew she was correct. The longer I waited, the worse I felt. I walked to the doorway of Jean-Paul’s room and he immediately smiled.
“Come in, please Cherie,” he invited.
“Jean-Paul, I feel very confused and hurt. I feel like there’s nowhere for me to turn. There’s no one who I can trust, who understands how to protect me from disaster, except for Martine. I ran toward you thinking that you would be the one person who would keep me safe and who would understand how important it is for us to be together.”
“Cherie, please sit down.” Reluctantly, I walked the few steps towards the chair beside his bed. I slowly sat, feeling nervous and unsure. “Thank you. I have more to say. You didn’t allow me to finish speaking to you before you stomped out. You’re very cute when you stomp and speak your mind. I enjoy your forceful tongue.”
“What is it that you didn’t have the opportunity to say?” I asked.
“Oh, we are going to jump right into this discussion are we?”
“Madam wants us to be cordial by dinner. You have thirty minutes to make me feel cordial.”
“Well that is a lot of pressure. I don’t know that I can turn your fury around in half an hour. I will try, however. You must allow me to finish my thought before you rebut or stomp out.”
“I shall give you that much consideration.”
“Cherie, your parents are important to me because I don’t have mine. It’s easy to take your parents for granted when you have them. Do you know what I would give to have my mother meet you? If my father could see our children…I will never see their loving faces again. I have no choice in that matter. You still have a choice. I can’t let you dismiss your family from your life. I have lived eighteen years without my parents. I don’t want you to have to live without yours. Your children deserve to know their grandparents. How would you feel if your mother was on her death bed right now? Would you want to see her? Your parents love you. You’re pushing them away because they made a decision to guarantee you a safe future. They don’t deserve to be abandoned for giving you everything they had to offer.”
“How would you feel towards your parents if they tried to kill me? Would you feel the same devotion?”
“Your parents didn’t try to kill me.”
“No, they just tried to force me to marry the man who nearly killed you.”
“Your parents don’t know that.” I didn’t respond. My rebuttal didn’t have much strength. Jean-Paul continued. “As far as they knew, they were protecting you from the harsh realities of life. If you really thought it through, I don’t think that you would make the choice to walk away from your family. Your mother and father would not consider abandoning you, no matter what you did.”
Still I couldn’t reply. Words would not flow, which was an unusual problem for me. My heart fought to defend my actions to leave Paris, as much as it felt overwhelmed with love for Jean-Paul for caring about my family. While Andre didn’t care about what I wanted, Jean-Paul cared about my family more than himself. He saw a bigger picture.
“I don’t want you to wake up one day full of regret. I don’t want to be the man who idly allowed you to give this part of your life away. I don’t want to wake up and decide that I compromised too much for you or for me. We still have the matter of the church in order to have permission for your hand. There are hurdles ahead. We must return to Paris and face our fate.”
“I cannot stew another moment of my life without knowing if you plan to marry me or not. You speak of it and yet avoid it in the same sentence. Be frank with me. What is your intention?”
“For three weeks I have thought about getting back to Paris to dual with Andre for you and ask your parents’ permission for your hand. Now you are here and suddenly I must devise a new strategy.”
“Your plan would have failed. My family was forcing me to marry Andre before you returned. My options were to marry Andre or run away.”
“I see. Andre’s letter was correct when he said you would be married before I could return.”
“Did you doubt his words?”
“Darling, would you please give me a couple of days to heal from starvation and develop my new pathway forward. It’s my intention to win you with honor and the approval of your family. Allow me to pursue this path that I might be worthy of your love.”
“Very well, I have faith in you and will be more patient,” I replied.
“Shall we dine?” Jean-Paul suggested.
“Certainly.”
“I’m surprised that I won your heart back in less than half an hour. It’s amazing what can happen when I can finish my sentences.” Jean-Paul looked at me and smiled.
Madam saw us walk into the dining room and asked, “Did you two love doves resolve your differences?”
“We are moving in the right direction,” Jean-Paul said.
“Good. I want to have peace around here,” Madam added in a friendly, but firm tone.
The four of us sat down to a pleasant meal. We talked and laughed as if Jean-Paul was not recovering from near death, as if I hadn’t run away from my family and fiance, as if our future were solid and plans certain.
The next two days Jean-Paul recovered without complaint and grew stronger with each sip of broth or soft egg and toast. On the third morning after his return, he spoke to me in a determined tone. “Cherie, I have a New York site I would like for us to see today, while we have the opportunity.”
“That sounds lovely. What is it?”
“You shall have to wait until we are close. Please dress warmly, including a hat.”
Jean-Paul and I rode in a carriage through the city. After a twenty minute ride we approached Central Park. “I might know where you’re taking me,” I said.
“Perhaps,” Jean-Paul replied, “but I challenge you to state where in this enormous park I’m taking you.”
I smiled with anticipation, although Jean-Paul tried to look serious.
After more traveling through the spring tree buds, cobblestone paths, past creeks and bridges, we finally stopped. The air was cool and the sky was dotted with clouds. Moments of sunrays warmed me followed by shadows of coolness. “This, my dear, is the Reservoir, the largest body of water in Central Park.” The lake was beautiful, surrounded by many deciduous trees, some of which were beginning to bloom. Pink and white blossoms dotted the opposing side of the lake.
“This is magical. I love how still the water is. It reflects the trees and sky.”
Jean-Paul led me around the path surrounding the lake. “You give me the peace that I also find in nature.”
“Thank you. It’s surely one of the most beautiful places I have been,” I replied. We stared out together noticing the ducks and other birds. We walked to a bench close to the water. Jean-Paul led me by the hand to the bench. Before he directed me to sit, he turned my body toward his, his hands held my cheek, his gaze fixated on mine and he drew me towards him. His kiss released days of stress and fear. The heat and passion of his embrace made me tingle from head to toe. For a moment I thought he might tear my clothes from my body and ravish me with his desire. He pressed his full body against me and kissed me harder, pressing his lips firmly into mine. His body flinched, and I knew that his ribs hurt, although he didn’t complain. His hand moved behind my head and held me to him. He released my lips and showered my neck with kisses, pulling at my clothing and running his hands over my body.
A few moments later he pulled himself back and looked at me. “Oh, what you cause to move inside me. It’s dangerous.” I didn’t reply but secretly I smiled.
Jean-Paul directed me to sit beside him. His face winced ever so slightly as his left arm wrapped around his waist, protecting his wrapped ribs and bruised back. He paused, then spoke again, “Although this is a spectacular sight, I have never seen anything as lovely or mesmerizing as you.”
“Oh, thank you.” I wanted to comfort his pain, but I knew he had something else on his mind, so I listened quietly.
“I want nothing more than to spend every day with you and grow old gazing into your spectacular eyes. Your eyes have captured my soul,” he said with a serious face.
I smiled and looked back intently. He reached for my right hand to hold in his. He lowered himself from the bench to his right knee without taking his eyes off of mine. I gulped.
“Cherish Bourguignon, I love you with every part of my being. You complete me and warm my heart. You enhance my life. I want to hold you for eternity. Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife? Will you marry me?” At the same moment he presented a black velvet box with a significant diamond solitaire ring. I hadn’t even notice that he had let go of my hand to present the ring.
Tears began to flow down my face as I started to nod. “Oh, Jean-Paul, you make me the happiest woman in the world. Yes, of course I shall be your wife. I shall love you forever. I will care for you…” I reached to hug Jean-Paul and he raised himself to embrace me.
Jean-Paul pulled back to see my face. He looked at me with another serious expression. “It’s my life-long goal to make you the happiest woman in the world.”
I smiled in response. “And it’s my life-long goal that you’re the most satisfied man.”
“I became the most satisfied when you accepted my proposal.”
We sat together for a long while on the bench, staring at the water and talking. My feet didn’t touch the ground, for I floated on the clouds high above the motionless lake.
“We will leave immediately for Paris and be wed as quickly as possible,” he said smiling. “I will send word to our families.”
I smiled with much reluctance. Andre had not showed up in New York. Perhaps he waited for us in Paris. I expressed my concern. “If you send word that we are coming back to France, Andre will likely learn of it and try to harm you.”
“If Andre comes after me I shall fight him.”
“And what if he sends a small army for you?”
“I’ve thought about that. There’s the opportunity of marrying outside of Paris, perhaps in Le Havre and then departing afterwards. We could have a seaside reception. I will find us a solution my love.”
“Thank you, Jean-Paul. I trust that you will.”
“I will see that your parents attend our ceremony,” he assured me.
“While you’re contemplating our forthcoming wedding, could you please tell me what happened the day you left for America?” I asked.
“Yes, if you must know. After I took you home, I walked back towards my uncle’s flat. I walked through the park, where we always meet, and as I neared the edge of the park I had a strange feeling, as if I was being watched. Then four men surrounded me, one from each direction. Andre came at me from the front. The other four men held me while Andre took one punch deep into my gut. He said, ‘You’ve taken something that belongs to me.’ He stuffed something in my coat pocket. As he turned to walk away, he waved his right hand and said, ‘Finish him men. You know what to do.’
“At that moment I thought perhaps he wanted them to kill me. I struggled as best as I could. I kicked and fought, but two men held me while another took swings. When I finally fell to the ground they started kicking me in my back, head and stomach. I thought that perhaps this is where I might die, in our park, being kicked to death. I thought of you in that moment and how amazing it was to touch you hours earlier. One man finally yelled for the other two to stop. He said, ‘That’s enough. We have to be able to get him on the boat.’ Then I assumed that they were going to finish me in the water, to avoid leaving a dead body in the park.
“With firm grips the men carried me to a carriage and took me straight to the pier. One man bought two tickets, one for me and one for him to Le Havre. He also purchased a ticket for me from Le Havre to America. I was standing right beside him when he purchased it. He told the ticket master that I had fallen and he was my brother. In that moment, I thought that perhaps they might let me live. On the boat to Le Havre, I read the note that Andre stuffed in my pocket. I had one chance to get that note out of my hands and back to Paris to let someone know where I was. My escort went to the restroom. I put all the money I had in my pocket into the hand of a young steward and asked him to make certain that Jacques or Martine Soule received the note. He promised he would. He walked away before the bully returned.
“When we reached the coast of France, Andre’s man loaded me onto the cargo ship and asked a crew member to make sure I didn’t get off the boat. I could not have run twenty feet in my condition. There was no escaping for me. I was happy to be alive, but leaving you in Paris felt like my limbs were ripped from my body.”
I didn’t say a word during Jean-Paul’s story. I didn’t even make a sound. Every emotion swept through me; anger, shame, guilt, compassion, empathy, and gratitude. More than any emotion I wanted Jean-Paul to know that I saw him as a victor for withstanding the trauma both physically and emotionally. He was my hero for making it through the boat ride in his condition and for not allowing Andre’s fury to turn him into a vengeful man.
“Jean-Paul, there are men of valor, men of bravery, integrity and strength. There are men of honor, courage and self-control. There are men who would die for the people they love and men who would stand in honor of the ones they love. You have every quality of all of these men. If I thought that I have loved you before now, then I must love you even more today, for my heart has opened to you ten times above what it was before. I could not ask for a better man with which to walk this life. I trust you implicitly my lo
ve. My heart is yours. I shall do anything you ask of me. I surrender my safe keeping into your capable arms.”
“Cherie, please understand that a great deal of my courage comes from the smile on your face, the love in your heart and the thought of holding you. Nothing inspires a man more than a woman’s devoted love. You give me too much credit.”
“Not true my love. I’ve known of men in love before. You have more integrity than ten of them put together. I expect that you could never disappoint me.”
“Oh I shall disappoint you to be certain darling. It’s the job of all men to infuriate their women. We’ve all made an oath together. Each man has promised to anger his wife on a regular basis. This is to protect the whole of mankind. You see, if a few men are flawless while the majority cannot be, then most men would be rejected by women for not being perfect. This would jeopardize the human race. We made a commitment to all be alike, in order that all men stand a chance with a woman to procreate. We have agreed to have no perfect men on the earth…simply to protect humanity from extinction.” Jean-Paul tried to look serious at me, but he failed to hide his faint smile.
“Jean-Paul!” I thought to rebuke him, but changed my response into witty repartee. “I do not approve of this oath you have made. Take it back immediately. I expect perfection and I shall absolutely have it. After all, I am an intelligent, capable woman, am I not? Do I not deserve something equal in return? Hmmm?”
Jean-Paul looked at me a bit baffled for a moment, until he realized that I was playing along. He continued the game. “You speak the truth my sweet angel. You deserve perfection. Therefore, I retract the oath that I have made with mankind. I shall be the faultless husband to my impeccable wife, even if it puts humanity in peril, for I have no choice but to sacrifice humanity to give my lovely partner all she desires and deserves.”
“Why thank you darling. That wasn’t difficult now was it?”
“Anything I do for you my dear, I do with ease.”
After a few days of gaining strength and exploring New York City, Jean-Paul explained to me his plan to wed. “I shall send a telegraph to Jacques and Martine with these details. We shall arrive in Le Havre unannounced. No one shall know the date. We will make arrangements to wed at a Catholic church. When the arrangements are set, I will ask Jacques and Martine to escort your parents to the church where they may witness us being married. After your long absence, I suspect that they will be delighted to know you’re safe and enjoying your decision to include them in your life. I shall ask Jacques and Martine to carefully set the stage.”
Painted with Love: Romance Eludes Time and Death Page 17