I slid to my knees and sat on the sand. Paul joined me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me in to rest my head.
“I never stopped loving you,” he said.
More tears fell. The combination of his tenderness and my pain overwhelmed me. I wondered if it was poetic justice to be taken away from him and then find him again. When I wanted him, I was swept away by the sea. When I couldn’t be a good wife, he’s right before me.
Paul and I gazed out at the ocean, while my head rested on his shoulder. He brushed my hair with his hand and took a deep breath. I stopped crying, although tears were just below the surface ready to flood forth again. He turned his head to look at me with kind, gentle eyes.
I broke the silence, pulling away from too much closeness. “Well, I need to get home and see my daughters. I must have a barrel full of mail and bills to address. I have to sell my car and learn my way around the city on foot. You understand? I have to go home.”
“Dee, couldn’t you give me a chance to love you?”
“I don’t know Paul…”
“I want to take care of you, not that you can’t do it without me, but I want to share my life with you.”
“You don’t really want to love a blind woman,” I said.
“I already do,” he announced.
My head flung back with surprise.
“Dee, you’re a radiant woman with an irresistible glow. I’m lucky to bask in your luminescence.”
I wanted to believe everything that he said and not feel the need to protect this man from my problems. Reluctantly I replied, “I’ll think about it.”
His face softened with a smile. Slowly we ascended the path and returned to the house. After a glass of fresh lemonade, we climbed into Paul’s car. He drove me near the Golden Gate Bridge and down to the water. We parked by the waterfront and walked over a small wooden bridge leading into a protected area for birds and wildlife.
When we reached the edge of the water, he reached for my hand again. With hesitation, I allowed him to hold mine. We looked at the water. I gazed at the formidable bay, remembering a dream of the dark, biting water holding me away from air, love and life. I shivered from the memory. I closed my eyes to shut it out. When I opened my eyes Paul was staring at me.
I felt it coming before he moved. I became paralyzed against the flow of his energy. He drew in closer and landed a soft, meaningful kiss across my lips. I allowed his advance and received his gift. I responded in kind with salty lips and my windblown hair brushing both our cheeks. His kiss sent waves of familiar joy through my body. I knew this man. I’d felt this sunshine, this air, this beach, these wave sounds and this tingling in my soul before today. I kissed back with more delight, surrendering to the bliss, succumbing to his desires.
I fell into it completely, forgetting where I was, the day, Nairobi or Seattle. I melted into a moment that existed on an eternal realm. It was a moment of forever. There was no time, no names, no beach, and no hearts. There was only the meeting of two souls, connecting, giving, uniting, reuniting, and exploding pleasure in every direction. For a moment I didn’t have a body. This beautiful man was opening my heart. His kiss was powerful enough to part the seas of my disbelief, and convince me that life going forward is a journey worth traveling. With the touch of our lips, I felt more than lifetimes could ever tell. While time stood still, the deep wounds and dry painful cracks in my heart healed.
Following the kiss, we shared a long gaze and knowing. It felt as if Paul had just pulled me out of the frigid, black water. Moments earlier I was a woman drowning in heartache. He rescued me from dark, cold loneliness and suffering. With one intimate connection, the bay was less daunting.
We left the water to return to my hospital room. After he walked me to my room, his right hand reached for my left ear and brushed my hair behind it. “You’re truly beautiful.”
“Thank you,” I replied.
Paul reached his arms forward and invited me to come closer. I followed his lead. I closed my eyes as Paul enclosed me in his embrace. I wrapped my arms around his waist and let my breath escape and my facade relax into the comfort of his warmth and safety. His touch felt timeless, as if it was always there when I closed my eyes and wished for it. I wanted nothing more than to feel this comforted. My heart told me that I could trust this man.
“Dee, I want to move slowly going forward. I don’t want to rush us. The exciting mystery of Paul meets Dee is still unfolding. The soul inside of you excites my being. I want to savor every delicious morsel of this story. I will court you and buy you chocolate. I will surprise you and meticulously learn your preferences and history as Dee Coulter. I will fall deeply in love with the essence of you, and enjoy every moment. I will not take any of it for granted or forgo any opportunities to fully taste, smell, see, hear and feel you from beginning to end. The deliciousness of you will be enjoyed more than nine course meal, with pleasure, patience and delight. Will you allow this?”
I smiled, and nodded slowly.
“For now, I will bid you good rest,” Paul added.
I studied his face under the florescent light with my arms still around his waist. He was serious, yet kind. I wanted to beg him for his touch, the way Cherie demanded of Jean-Paul, but I would not ask Paul to compromise his poetic discovery of our future together. I could see myself being loved and cared for, giving my heart and love in return.
“Dee!” I heard Brian’s voice from behind Paul. I peered around Paul, dropping my hands from his waist. “What’s going on?” he asked.
“Brian, um, it’s complicated. I can’t really explain…” How could I explain to Brian that one kiss held me in its grasp for so long that I would only feel whole when those lips kissed me again?
Brian took two giant steps towards us and stood inches from Paul, eye-to-eye. Glaring at Paul he said. “I had a feeling he would try to steal you from me.”
“Brian, please. I’ve been trying to tell you.”
Brian put his hands on his hips and waited with a look of anger.
I spoke slowly. “I don’t have romantic feelings for you. All of your doting and smothering will not change that.”
Brian turned toward me and softened his shoulders. “Not true, Dee. Things will be different when we get home. You will need me. You can live at my place. Look, you owe me. I saved you. I took care of you. You can’t leave me after all I have done for you.”
Paul spoke quietly to me, “Do you mind if I step in?” he asked.
I gestured with my arms open wide for him to go ahead.
“This is between Dee and me,” Brian interrupted. Brian looked at me. “You belong to me, Dee.”
Gently, Paul spoke. “I know that you understand that women do not belong to us. Even our soul mate is not our possession. Each person makes a choice every day to be together. Not one person, but both. Love is respect. They are one and the same. To love a woman is to respect her decisions and honor her soul’s journey.”
“Are you through with your lecture?” Brian asked.
“I’m not quite through.” Brian took another step toward Paul, but Paul’s countenance was calmly strong, with truth on his side. Brain remained in place. “You did an honorable thing as a man and friend to stand by Dee. Only a good man would give such devotion. No doubt you love her.”
“Dang right, I do.”
“You want her to love you in return?” Paul asked.
“Yep.” Brian shifted his weight from one leg to the other, impatiently listening.
“But you can’t force love.” The room was silent as Paul’s words hung in the air.
Brian looked at Paul, then turned to me. “Do you love me, Dee?”
“Only as a friend.”
Brian looked around the room searching for a way to win. His body turned from side to side, looking for his next move. He put on his ball cap and said, “I will see you back in Seattle. This guy won’t be waiting for you when you get home, ready to take you in. But I will.”
&nbs
p; Brian turned to Paul. “She’s in no shape for any funny business, buddy. You are wasting your time. You don’t know anything about this woman. It isn’t fair for you to make her think you are someone special, ‘cause you’re not.”
“Some things are not as they appear,” Paul said.
“And some things are!” Brian brushed by Paul without looking at him as he exited the room.
The tension in the room slowly relaxed, like the air slipping out of a balloon. Paul turned toward me and lightly placed his hands on my upper arms. “Are you okay,” he asked looking closely.
With a big exhale I said, “Yeah, thanks for your help.”
He embraced me tenderly, then pulled back to see my face. I sighed and smiled with delight. His face glowed in the faint light with his features accentuated by the shadows. His eyes were blurry and occasionally there were two or six of each eye. But I felt his soul and emotion more than I saw his gaze clearly. I closed my eyes to memorize the expression imbued in his mysterious façade. The lack of details couldn’t hide the feeling his look created, but it increased my natural intuition to see without eyes. If only I could capture on film what I feel from his gaze. Instantly I felt a quick shock shoot straight through my chest as that thought entered my mind. I tingled from head to toe. I must capture this sense of instinctive vision with my camera. My new view of the world was blurry, poetic, shrouded in obscurity, and full of evolving insight. Looking at the world from a different perspective, I saw life in a way I’d never discovered before. I want to share my perspective with others. I determined to find a way to create pictures that show meaning more clearly than visual minutiae.
Paul leaned down and gave me a sweet, soft kiss. “I’m going to take care of you. All you need to focus on is sharing yourself with your daughters and family. I will not leave you alone. You’re stuck with me now.” He smiled and waited for my approval. Then he continued. “Your job is to embrace this new chapter of your life. You were just given a second chance to see the world in a new way and live your life with all of the people who love you. That’s your task. Let me handle everything that I can for you.”
His words stuck a new chord. I couldn't help but wonder if I the past few months all happened just so that I would be here with Paul. If I hadn't crashed in Nairobi, I wouldn't remember Cherie and I may have never met Paul.
I was starting to see that perhaps there was a purpose to the new limits of my body. This evolving chapter may be a spectacular one. “I will do my best to embrace the gifts and love all around me,” I replied.
“You’re amazing,” Paul said smiling. “I will bid you good-bye for now. There are important preparations I need to make at the gallery. Call me if you need anything. I will visit you in Seattle as soon as you’re ready for me.”
I smiled wide, excited about my future photography and future relationship. “Good-bye, Paul. Thank you for a lovely morning.”
“It was my pleasure. I look forward to many more mornings of coffee with you.”
Paul left my room. I sat quietly on the edge of the bed. My life was beginning anew. There were challenges ahead for sure, but perhaps my eyes were just beginning to really see.
###
Dee and Paul's adventure continues in the next book in this series. See the author's page at Smashwords for the details.
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Karen Diana Anderson
About the Author
This romantic adventure was inspired by a dejà vu encounter Karen Diana Montee experienced while visiting Paris. When she is not writing steamy love scenes, she can be found on her mountain bike, hiking, snow skiing or water skiing. She enjoys activities with her close-knit family and partner, as well as their loving support. Born and raised in Idaho, Diana is more comfortable alone on a mountain than driving in traffic. http://diana-anderson.com/
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Painted with Love: Romance Eludes Time and Death Page 27