Interest, confusion, arousal, mistrust and, finally, appreciation. He sat back a little, continuing to watch as she removed the baby doll, sliding it over her shoulders, down her waist, over her hips and legs.
She kicked it aside, then did a little spin as she unlatched her bra, opened her arms and flung it aside. As she danced before Drew, her chest bare, she felt as if she’d just bared something more. As if she was showing him her heart, opening up that place where he could hurt her the most, and where there also might be the greatest potential for pleasure.
And that, she realized, was the reason she’d run scared before. Her heart had been telling her she didn’t just want sex with this man. She wanted to see what else might happen. In spite of her happy life, for once she actually wanted the complications.
Finally she hooked her thumbs into the sides of her panties and shimmied them down over her hips, let them fall to her feet, met Drew’s gaze and held it as she slid her hands over her torso and breasts.
She worked her hips, lowered herself like a cat to the floor, crawled toward Drew and then twirled onto her back, where she ended the dance with her legs crossed in the air.
When the song stopped and the room was silent again, she could hear his steady breathing, but for a few moments he said nothing.
Then finally, “Wow.”
“Did you like it?”
“You dance like a pro.”
She pushed herself up to a sitting position and rested her arms on his knees in front of her.
“The truth is, I worked my way through college by stripping.”
Drew stared at her, slack-jawed, and didn’t say a word.
She took a deep breath and kept going. “I was Cassi, with an i, and I could work a pole like nobody’s business.”
“That’s why you don’t like me calling you Cassie?”
She nodded. “I’m tired of hiding my past. If you don’t like it, then I’m definitely not the girl for you.”
“Let me get this straight. You were an exotic dancer, and you’re afraid I wouldn’t like that?”
“Yeah.”
“Come here,” he said, pulling her into his lap.
“Is this close enough?”
“Barely,” he said, taking a long, appreciative look at her bare breasts. “I just want you to know, I’ve never met a woman like you before.”
“You mean, a former stripper?”
“I mean, a woman as fun, exciting, intelligent and sexy as you.”
“Aren’t you a little bothered that I used to take my clothes off for a living?”
He slid his hands up her torso and around to her backside. “I don’t give a damn. You have an amazing body, and what you’ve done with it is your own business. If you were okay with being a stripper, then I’m okay with it.”
“I guess that’s the problem. I’ve always felt a little ashamed of that part of my life.”
“Ashamed why?”
“Lots of reasons. I didn’t treat myself very well, let men treat me badly, too, made some mistakes…”
“Nobody has a perfect past. Whatever has happened to you, has made you the woman you are today, and I’m interested in that woman.”
“There’s something else,” she said before she could lose her nerve. “I turn forty next month.”
“So?” He stared blankly at her.
“I just thought you should know. Some people have been led to believe I’m slightly younger than forty,” she said casually.
“Okay.”
“And also, I’m not quite ready for that going-steady stuff. I was hoping, maybe, you’d be interested in picking up where we left off, and…”
“And just having sex?”
“Just seeing what happens.”
He gave the matter some thought. “I can live with that.”
Cass tried to speak, but her throat tightened up, and all she could do was kiss Drew. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him for all she was worth, until they both had to come up for air.
Finally she found her voice. “I’m sorry for making this so hard.”
“It’s okay, so long as you’re going to stay here and ring in the New Year with me.”
“There’s no place else I’d rather be,” she said.
He smiled his crooked smile, and Cass knew that wherever their affair took them, she wanted to go. She wanted to explore the possibilities, follow the adventure and find out if there was a chance for happily ever after.
YASMINE OPENED THE WINDOW so they could have a better view of the fireworks when the clock struck midnight. Then she turned to Alex and expelled a shaky sigh. He’d just finished pouring glasses of champagne for them, but she’d forgotten to tell him she couldn’t drink alcohol with her pain medication.
Now when she looked at him, she could see past the surface changes to the man he’d been years ago, sitting on the witness stand. He didn’t look so different, after all. And the questions remained. Could she totally forgive him, and could she really live with the reminder of her sins every day? Could she trust that he saw past her surface?
Okay, she was definitely getting ahead of herself there. Who knew if Alex would want a future with her beyond tomorrow, or next week?
In the black sky, a starburst of red lit the darkness, followed by more glittering bursts of white and blue. The bangs and whistles of the fireworks reminded Yasmine of a New Year’s Eve she’d once spent in Paris as a kid with her parents. And the thought of her parents made her wonder, for the first time, what they would think of Alex if they ever met him.
Would they like him? Would her father talk to him about rugby, and would her mother size him up and deem him acceptable? It didn’t matter to her one way or the other, but, she realized now, they would like him. He was the kind of guy parents wanted their daughters to end up with—upright, strong, intelligent, handsome….
He may have tried to give himself to the dark side in pursuing her, but even then he’d had an honorable motive.
She smiled and glanced over at Alex with a little pang of wistfulness for reasons she couldn’t put a finger on, but when his gaze met hers, she saw something unexpectedly intense there.
He wasn’t smiling, and he didn’t look at all as though he was enjoying the merriment of the holiday.
“What’s up?” Yasmine asked.
He pulled her closer and rested his hands at the small of her back. “I’m still waiting to find out if you’ll forgive me.”
She expelled a pent-up breath and took his hands in hers. “I do forgive you, and what I said earlier at the hospital—I was speaking under duress.”
“Meaning?”
“I wasn’t thinking too clearly, but now I realize, it doesn’t matter if you remind me of the past. I want to know about the future—I want to know what comes next for us.”
He smiled a tentative smile, and for the first time Yasmine realized how vulnerable he was, waiting for her to come around. “We haven’t talked about what comes next,” he said.
“I don’t know.”
A burst of light in the sky lit up Alex’s face for a moment, and Yasmine was afraid of what she saw. He was about to say something she was pretty sure she didn’t want to hear.
“I want there to be a ‘next.’ A next day, a next month, a next year, a next lifetime.”
Yasmine’s throat closed up, and she made an insensible sound.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out.
“You have to know I love you, don’t you?”
She wanted to shut him up with a kiss, make the whole discussion just stop right there, sealed in time, before things could go bad. But time never stopped. Through the good and the bad, it marched forward, and so she joined the march with the only thing she could say.
“I love you, too.”
He smiled. “We should do something about that, don’t you think?”
“Like what?”
“I can’t imagine my life witho
ut you. I’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you a decade ago.”
Yasmine’s breath caught. He’d wanted her all this time. He’d wanted her, and he’d testified against her. She tried to imagine his inner turmoil, and then she realized, this was why he hadn’t fought his termination from the FBI. Because of her and his overblown sense of honor.
It was the most romantic thing she’d ever heard. And the craziest.
“You gave up your FBI career because of me.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It does. You should have fought for it.”
“I’d rather have you.”
“I’m not worth losing a career over.”
“You’re the most fascinating woman I’ve ever known, and there’s some kind of special connection between us—you have to feel it, too.”
She did. There was no denying they were soul mates.
“I want you more than anything,” he said, and they were the words she’d been waiting all her life to hear.
“Anyway you want me, you’ve got me,” she said, and she melted into him.
Had she ever been wanted so completely? Had she ever been the most desired thing in a person’s life?
She couldn’t say she had, and she couldn’t imagine a better feeling in the world now that she knew she was.
Epilogue
Five Months Later
YASMINE HAD BEEN BREATHING paint fumes for the past few days, and now she liked to think she’d become immune to their side effects. That they were no longer killing off her brain cells one by one.
“Nice work,” Alex said from behind her, startling her out of what was likely a paint-fume-induced stupor. “I can’t believe you’ve already finished the whole room.”
She turned to see him admiring the shade of gray blue she’d just painted their front office. DiCarlo Consulting and Investigations’ new business office officially opened tomorrow, though they already had enough clients to keep them busy for several months.
Yasmine had been freaked out at first by the idea of going into business with Alex, doing independent security consulting and investigations. But once she settled into the idea, she knew it was exactly the change she’d needed.
The sex game industry had been fun, but she wanted a different challenge, and she loved the idea of working closely with her soon-to-be husband.
People had warned her about working with a spouse, but she couldn’t think of anyone else she’d rather be with all day. They needed to make up for lost time.
“I didn’t want you to think I’d grown soft during those two weeks in the South Pacific.”
They’d taken a vacation together last month, a cruise during which Alex had proposed to her. Those blissful days and nights aboard the ship and in Tahiti had been two of the best weeks of Yasmine’s life, but what she’d been looking forward to most was now. The everyday routines together, the day-to-day hum-drum life. She’d had enough of excitement, and she’d traveled enough to last her a while. What she’d never had, and what she craved, was this closeness, this intimacy that came only with living your life with another person.
They hadn’t picked a wedding date yet, but it didn’t matter to Yasmine. She’d already given herself to Alex heart and soul. The formal part could wait a few months.
“What I think is, you’re working too damn hard. You need to save your energy for me.”
“Oh?” She turned and slipped her hands around his waist and up the hard planes of his back.
“I’m a man with certain needs, you know.”
“Believe me, I know.” Every night, he had needs—needs she loved fulfilling.
He dipped his head down to kiss her, and she felt him grow hard against her abdomen. A few feet away, the soon-to-be receptionist’s desk sat covered in a drop cloth, the perfect destination for them.
“I’ll just close these blinds,” Alex said, letting go of her for a moment.
“Is the door locked?”
“Yep, just locked it.”
“So you had no intention of helping me clean up when you came in here,” she said as he lifted her onto the desk and nestled between her legs.
“Well, I did, but then I saw you bent over that paint can, and—”
“You’re so predictable.”
“I’ll do all the clean-up,” he said, “if you’ll do me.”
Afternoon sex breaks were definitely an unexpected and most welcome benefit of working together.
ISBN: 978-1-4268-5751-5
ANY WAY YOU WANT ME
Copyright © 2005 by Jamie Sobrato.
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