by Skye Jordan
“Me too,” she murmured. “I didn’t plan on any of this. I expected to come here and find an oversexed, self-absorbed beach bum who couldn’t sign the papers fast enough.”
He chuckled. “Three out of four ain’t bad.”
She smiled, and he shifted his hand to stroke her lower lip, wishing she’d take his fingers into her mouth the way she had that night. Hell, he wished she’d do everything she’d done that night.
Tessa’s lashes fluttered closed in a look of pleasure-pain he knew well. One that sparked desire deep in his gut. One that made him roll toward her, turn her head toward him, and cover her mouth with his. Her lips were soft and warm and moved under his.
Only there was something very different between them now. Something rich and warm. Something deep and real.
Tessa covered his hand on her cheek and pulled away. She sat up, saying, “We probably shouldn’t complicate an already complicated situation.”
Too late. He’d felt it. He needed her. He wanted Sophia. This was as complicated as it got. Still, he agreed with her.
“You’re probably right.” Zach pulled himself up and wrapped his arms around his knees. “So what are we going to do to uncomplicate it?”
She met his gaze directly. “Sophia’s already been through a lot. The only reason she’s done so well is because I’ve always been the stable mother figure in her life. Corinne was too sick to be the mother she wanted to be, and when she realized she wasn’t going to beat the cancer, she made sure I would be the person raising Sophia.” Tessa grew more vehement with every word. “She’s an emotional, strong-willed little girl. You can’t just take her away from everything she knows and expect her to adjust. You’re not exactly equipped to raise a daughter—emotionally, mentally, physically, financially—”
“Whoa, slow down.” He tried to keep his voice level and light, but there was no denying the thread of panic that shivered back to life. “One step at a time, baby. I’m just trying to talk about things.”
That seemed to cool a little of the panic mirrored in her eyes. “Sorry.” She lowered her gaze, exhaled heavily, and covered her face with both hands. “God, this is…” She shook her head and took a raspy, emotion-filled breath. “Why couldn’t you have just been a shitty deadbeat?”
She whispered the last, her voice shaky and tear filled. A new, equally disturbing streak of panic pierced Zach’s gut. Women? Crying? He had no idea what to do with a crying female.
He reached out and stroked a hand down her back. “Hey…”
Yeah, that’s all he had. God, he was pathetic.
A sound of distress ebbed from Tessa’s throat, and pain kicked him in the heart. “Hey,” he said again, this time moving closer and wrapping his arms around her shoulder and pulling her in. She came willingly and rested her head against his chest. “We’ll figure this out.”
“I miss her. Corinne.”
“I bet you do. Sounds like it’s been a long road.”
“I always had the legal answers, the logical answers that she needed,” Tessa said. “And she always had the personal and emotional answers I needed. She’d know what to do now.”
She felt so good just leaning on him, with the evening breeze brushing their skin, waves lapping on the shore, the soft scent of the ocean in the air. He let her sink into him and stroked her hair. “I wish I had answers for you.”
But Zach was just as lost. He’d never felt the urge to seek out a wife and produce babies. The whole idea of family wasn’t at the top of his list. Certainly not now with his career just taking a new and uncertain turn. And not after living with his own dysfunctional family growing up. Yet, this need to know and be involved with Sophia was powerful and immediate. And terrifying.
“Zach,” she said, then paused, exhaled. “I’m not saying this to make you feel bad or manipulate you, but honestly, truly, I don’t know what I’d do without Sophia. She’s my heart. She’s my life. Since she was born, she’s been at the center of everything I do.”
Zach’s heart grew heavy. “I understand.”
She lifted watery blue eyes to his face. “I just want to be clear that I couldn’t possibly love her more, and I have no intention of giving up my place in her life.”
That thread of terror zinged though him again. He had a pretty thick competitive streak as well, and that chord vibrated somewhere in the background. But this was bigger than fear or competition, so he did his best to quell it.
“I obviously can’t empathize, but I can imagine. Your love for Sophia is…I don’t even have words. But you also need to know that I’m not the kind of guy who can hand off his own child to someone else to raise. I want to get to know her. I want her to get to know me. I want to have the kind of relationship we should have had from the beginning. God…” He rested his head in his hand. “I’ve already missed so much.”
“Zach, your life, your work—”
“Tessa.” He stopped her before she started in on his lifestyle again. He realized there were big changes in the near future—like tomorrow. He didn’t need her reminding him how difficult it would be—for all of them. “This whole thing is epically problematic. I know that. I also know it will be difficult and messy and trying. But I’ve never backed down from a challenge, and I’m sure as hell not going to back away from my own child.”
All Tessa’s air whooshed from her lungs. She wrapped her arms around her legs and pressed her forehead to her knees.
“Baby, give me a chance,” he pleaded softly. “I don’t want to steal her from you. Can we just take things one step at a time?”
Tessa didn’t answer right away. In fact, she didn’t answer for a long time. And the longer it took for her to respond, the more time Zach had to envision what a huge undertaking the transition would be.
She finally lifted her head and wiped at wet cheeks. Her eyes had lost their spark, and her voice was both subdued and flat when she said, “I guess I don’t have a choice.”
11
Zach stood on the deck of the lifeguard tower at Ho’okipa Beach with binoculars, scanning the waterline. Movie extras still littered the sand. The sun was setting—finally. Normally, he could stay out here all day and night, but today, filming couldn’t end soon enough. This had been the longest-ass day of his life, and the hardest part still waited ahead.
“Two, one…” Keith’s voice sounded tinny over the bud in Zach’s ear and refocused his mind like a laser. “And…action.”
Zach started the countdown in his head. Three, two, one. He plunked the binoculars on the railing, turned, and rushed the steps, taking them two at a time. At the bottom of the tower, he grabbed the board leaning against the stairs, chucked it under his arm, and sprinted toward the ocean.
His movements were automatic and familiar. He’d done this countless times as a lifeguard along the Southern California coast in his youth—sans cameramen gliding alongside him on a mechanical arm and filming his every move, of course.
He entered the water as effortlessly as breathing. A couple of steps in, he thrust the board out in front of him and immediately followed, hitting the surface of the water as one unit. His progress was filmed at two angles, one from the sand, one from the water. CGI and editing magic would eliminate any identifying characteristics from the film so Ian could take all the glory of Zach’s hard work and skill.
Zach drove his hands into the water over and over, driving through the waves as if someone’s life depended on it. His injured shoulder ached, and he did his best to fake the use of that arm. Since this was fiction, he could give all he had while he let his mind go. Tonight, he could even ignore the Sea-Doo running alongside him with a driver and a cameraman documenting his every move.
His thoughts turned to Tessa. And Sophia. Here, on the board, in the ocean, he had an outlet for his nerves and dug harder at the warm water, dragging himself over the waves.
What if Sophia didn’t like him? What if she never warmed up to him? What if he made a fool out of himself with her? Worse, what
if he made a mistake? What if he ruined the kid? What the hell did he know about any kid, let alone a little girl?
Nothing, that’s what. One big fat donut of nothing.
“Zach.” Keith’s voice sounded in his ear again. “Are you swimming to the Kiwis? You can stop anytime.”
Which was when he realized he’d missed the director’s “cut.” When he noticed the Sea-Doo was already headed back toward shore. When he noticed the throb in his shoulder.
Zach stopped paddling, crossed his burning arms on the board, and rested his forehead there, catching his breath as the ocean’s undulations lulled his stress.
“Great work today,” Keith said. “It’s a wrap. We’ll film the rescue scene this time tomorrow.”
With no mic, there was no need for Zach to respond, but he still muttered, “Halle-fucking-lujah.”
Zach pushed himself upright, letting his legs dangle on either side of the board while he stared out at the sun setting over the ocean.
His thoughts jumbled and tangled like they always did. Insecurities leapt into the fray and his heart skipped. God, he was excited and terrified all at the same time. His whole future had swung a U-turn on a dime.
“Zach,” Keith said in his ear. “Chamberlin’s here with Tompkins. Come on in.”
Zach’s heart skipped. His current boss and his future boss waited on the shore. And the miniature person who Zach had no doubt would quickly become the boss of his heart waited in a condo across town.
“Welcome to your new reality, Ellis.” He turned his board and watched the waves, choosing one to ride to shore. “No more freedom for you, dude.”
When a wave swelled in the distance, Zach paddled to catch it, then popped to his feet and rode the slope into the beach. The easy swoosh and glide of the surf felt good tonight. Familiar. Comforting. Right now, he’d take what he could get because he wouldn’t be getting what he wanted—which was to go back in time and relive that night with Tessa. Before his life flipped like a board caught in the surf. When his biggest challenge had been getting her to see him again.
He tucked his board under his arm and shook out his hair on the way up the beach muttering, “You’re not in Kansas anymore.”
Chamberlin and Tompkins wanted to talk about the new part, and between filming, Tessa, and Sophia, Zach hadn’t had a chance to recruit another agent. And he’d barely scratched the surface with the attorney.
“Hey, Zach.”
The female voice brought his head up. Zach focused on the two women swaying toward him. They wore bikinis like Playmates of the month and each carried a board at her side. Kerry and Candy. Oh, yeah, that had been a wild couple of weeks. Week one: surf by day, hookup by night. Week two: hookup by day, surf by night.
Until Zach’s interest had waned. They hadn’t been pleased.
Hard to believe that had been over six months ago.
“Ladies.” He paused even though he wished he’d seen them coming and altered his path. The security team had obviously opened the beach again. “Nice night for surfing.”
“A full moon always brings out our wild side.” Kerry, the blonde with barely covered double D’s and the more dominant of the two, stepped closer to Zach and gave him that I-know-you-want-me grin. She reached out and pressed the tip of her index finger to the center of his chest, then slid it down his torso. “Remember?”
Instead of his time with Kerry and Candy coming to mind, Zach’s memory pulled up Tessa. Tessa and the way she swung her hair over one shoulder, smiling at him like a sweet kitten. Tessa and the way she scraped her lower lip through her teeth when the pleasure intensified. Tessa and the way she looked when she finally gave herself over to the passion between them…
“Grab a quick ride with us,” Candy added, stepping up beside Kerry with an equally enticing smile. “Or…ride all night. We’ll leave that up to you.”
Zach was horny. He wanted sex. Badly. And he could easily maneuver some time to get busy with these two out in the dark water. But that wasn’t what he wanted. What he wanted was in direct conflict with what he shouldn’t want—Tessa.
“Sorry,” Zach said. “I’ve got some people waiting.” He started past the women with “Stay safe out there.”
He continued toward the crew in various stages of breaking down and packing up their equipment and found more people waiting than just Jax and Tompkins. Josh was there too. With Grace and Lexi and Tucker.
Zach handed off his board to a crew member, accepted a towel from another, and dried his head and chest on his way to the group. He greeted the women first, leaning in to accept a kiss on the cheek from both.
Lexi’s million-dollar smile gleamed in the low light. “I hear congratulations are in order…Dad.”
Zach’s stomach flipped, and his heart fluttered. He laughed to cover the inner turbulence. “Man, that’s going to take some getting used to.”
“Hey, Zach.” Tompkins came up and shook Zach’s hand. “I understand you’re not working with Marshall anymore.”
“No, I’m not.”
“I’m sure you’ve heard our interest in having you come on board. I’d like to sit down with you and talk it over. Jax here is more than welcome to sit in and advise you if he’d like. He’s got more experience than Marshall ever did anyway. Can we talk over dinner?”
“We’re going to try the new BBQ place in Kaanapali,” Grace told him, slipping next to Josh as he curled his arm around her. “And there’s a bar next door. We can have dinner, then you and Bill can talk business over drinks.”
“Sounds like the perfect plan,” Josh added.
“It does sound good,” Zach said, “but I’ve got something really important I’ve got to do tonight. I’ll have to take a rain check.”
Tompkins’s gaze sharpened. “The studio wants to get this contract nailed down. If you’re not going to take the part, we’ll need to search for a replacement. Which may also change the writing. That all takes time.”
“I understand, and I really do want to discuss the part. I just can’t go over the specifics tonight.” Zach glanced at Jax, hoping he’d read the please-work-your-magic-here-bro look in his eyes.
If he didn’t see it, Lexi did. She hooked her arm through Tompkins’s and drew his attention with the reputation of the Hawaiian BBQ restaurant while leading him toward the parking lot and a waiting car.
When they were out of earshot, Jax asked, “What’s going on?”
“I’m supposed to meet Sophia tonight. I’m already a deadbeat dad. I don’t think canceling on a date to meet my kid would look real good in court. You know what I’m saying?”
Jax nodded. “Right. We’ll take care of Tompkins tonight. Tomorrow, we’ll find you an agent.”
“I’ll pull some names together for you,” Grace offered.
“Until you find one, I’ll take care of you,” Jax told him.
“You guys are the best.”
“Text us when you’re free,” Jax said. “We’ll get together and hash things out.”
Zach agreed, and Jax, Lexi, and Josh started toward the parking lot. But Grace stayed behind.
“Are you ready to meet her?” she asked.
Zach picked up a T-shirt and pulled it over his head. “Hardly. It’s not like I had nine months to prepare, you know?”
“Just be yourself, Zach. I know they seem foreign to you now, but to be honest, kids aren’t all that different from men—at any age.”
Zach laughed, wrapped the towel around his waist, and stripped out of his board shorts to pull on a dry pair. “Interesting perspective.”
“Did you get her anything?”
He pulled the towel free and piled it with a bunch of others. “Who? Tessa?”
“No, but that couldn’t hurt. I meant Sophia. Kids always love getting presents. Nothing big, just a stuffed animal or a game you could play with her. You know, to break the ice?”
“Shit, I didn’t even think of that.” Hands on hips, he frowned at Grace. “Really? I should do that?”<
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“Yeah. You know, it’s sort of like bringing flowers to a first date.” He must have made a face, because she said, “Zach, you have brought a woman flowers, haven’t you?”
He ran a hand through his damp hair. “Not in a damn long time. Maybe never. I don’t remember.”
“Oh my God. Boy, you need some lessons.” Laughing, Grace turned him toward the parking lot. “I’ll meet Josh at the restaurant. You and I are going shopping.”
Tessa scrolled through the various emails she’d received from contacts at a dozen different special interest groups and took notes on their requests. She was tired from stress and fear and lack of sleep. “I swear this is like herding cats.”
“You ought to be good at that by now.” Abby stood in the doorway to the balcony.
“You’d think.” When Tessa looked up, she saw the shadows beneath Abby’s eyes, attesting to the lousy sleep she’d gotten the night before. But she was still dressed to go out for the evening wearing one of the cute Hawaiian-print sundresses she’d picked up on the trip and sparkly flip-flops.
Tessa glance at the time on her computer screen. Zach would be there soon, but he’d said he’d text when he was on his way, and hadn’t yet. “Are you okay?”
“No. And I won’t be until this is over and Sophia is all yours again.”
Tessa closed her laptop with a rock weighting her heart. “I’d love to believe that’s a possibility, but we both know it’s not. Holding on to that belief is only going to hurt everyone in the end.”
Abby glanced behind her where Sophia was playing with Legos and watching Frozen in the living room, then stepped onto the deck and sat on the edge of a chair facing Tessa. “He’ll never be able to handle her on his own.”
Abby mirrored every one of Tessa’s fears. This struggle was incredibly in-your-face real, and Tessa had the war of the century battling inside her.
“We need to give him a chance, Abby. He’s not a bad guy.”
“You don’t know that.”
Tessa sighed. Abby was taking this almost worse than Tessa. “He’s her father, and he has legal rights whether we approve of that or not. Besides, it’s in Sophia’s best interest to get to know him.”