by Kat Mizera
I dipped my head. “I do.”
“We may have started that tonight, you know? You don’t have to ejaculate for it to happen.”
“I know.”
“And you’re okay with it?”
“You do things to me, Xander. Emotionally. Since the first time we met, at the hospital in Monte Carlo when Casey was shot…you elicited such a strong response, for no reason, and you’ve continued to affect me that way ever since. Good or bad, I can’t stop thinking about you, wanting you, feeling things for you that I’ve never felt for anyone else. It’s terrifying, but it’s like I’m addicted.”
“You don’t have to be afraid,” he said softly. “I feel all those things too. You’re already part of me, El, and I don’t think there’s any slowing down or going back. I think we both just have to buckle up and ride this out, because we’re in this for the long haul.”
“It doesn’t scare you?”
“Scare me? Nah. It’s a little overwhelming sometimes, feeling so much so soon, but what the hell? You only live once, you know?”
“Touch me, Xander. Please. I need you to touch me.”
The next two days were some of the best of my entire life. We hadn’t said the words, but this was what love was supposed to be like. At least in my head it was, and it was amazing. We’d spent time talking and shopping and taking selfies all over the city. This trip had become everything I’d hoped it would be, and a hell of a lot more.
We woke up late the morning we were supposed to leave, the bed sheets a tangled mess, both of us a little groggy after so much sex the night before, and I was actually sore. It had been years since I’d had a marathon like that, if ever, and I almost limped to the bathroom to shower. When I came back out, he’d ordered breakfast and was on his laptop. He smiled up at me.
“Hungry?” He signed the word to me in sign language and I was proud that I not only knew what he’d said, but that I could respond in sign language as well since he’d been teaching me a little every chance we got.
“Starving.” I sank down across from him and reached for my own laptop. I hadn’t done any work at all the last two days and my email was undoubtedly overflowing. I took the cup of coffee he’d just poured for me as I opened the email program. As I’d suspected, I had several hundred and I was scanning them impatiently, looking for anything important, when I noticed one from Samaria, which was odd since she didn’t use the internet much. It came through Lulu’s email but the title made my blood run cold.
House broken into. Looking for you.
27
Xander
We spent most of the trip back to Limaj on the phone or computer. It was horrifying to think someone had broken into Fetu and Samaria’s house looking for Elen, and my fists clenched as I listened to them talk on the satellite phone.
“You okay, Elen?” Samaria was asking. “Them was some bad dudes come looking for you. How come they thought you was here?”
“Xander and I went off the grid,” Elen explained sadly. “Decided to take a short romantic vacation. I was wearing my wig so I guess no one realized I was still here in New York…” She looked heartbroken and I didn’t know how to help.
“Samaria, is everyone okay?” I called out, squeezing Elen’s hand.
“We good, Pretty Boy! You protecting Elen?”
“Damn straight I am. But I’d like to send someone to set up an alarm system at your house. What do you think?”
“We okay,” she said. “Fetu kicked some skinny-boy ass! I worry more about Elen. She tough but too skinny.”
“No one is getting near her,” I growled under my breath.
“If anything happened to you or the kids because of me…” Elen’s voice trailed off and she swiped at her eyes.
“You cryin’? Princess, we good. I scared for you.”
“You’re my second family and they know that! That’s why they came after you.”
“You know who after you?” Samaria asked.
“Omar,” Elen whispered angrily. “Fucking Omar.”
“Xander, you doin’ something about this Omar motherfucker?”
“I’m working on it,” I muttered.
“You don’t worry about us,” Samaria said. “You just keep our princess safe, okay? You promise?”
“I promise,” I said firmly.
“Okay. Time for bed. Good night.” She disconnected and Elen threw her head back against the seat angrily, staring at the ceiling.
“Fucking prick. I hate him. I really hate him.”
“I know, baby. I know.” I laced my fingers through hers. “We’re having a security meeting as soon as we get back. Sandor is reaching out to Ace and we’re going to find him.”
“And what if he hurts someone I care about before you do?”
“We can’t think that way. We’re going to do everything we can to eliminate him, starting immediately.”
“I’m so scared, Xander.” Tear-filled blue eyes sought out mine. “And not for myself. But Samaria and Fetu? The kids? What about Sasha and Luke in Las Vegas? He wants me for himself, and he wants Erik dead, but he’s escalating and I don’t know what to do.”
“Nothing. Just stay alert, stay diligent, and do what Sandor and I tell you.”
Instead of bristling, as I’d expected, she merely nodded, practically slumping in her seat.
“It won’t be like this forever,” I whispered, leaning over to kiss her. “Are you listening? We’re going to take care of this.”
She nodded but I knew she didn’t believe me. Unfortunately, for the next nine hours or so, there was nothing I could do about that. Once we landed in Hiskale and got to the palace, I’d make sure she felt better about everything, but until then she was going to have to trust me.
We slept on the flight, though both of us were restless, and arrived at seven in the morning. We were tired, but I was glad to be home. I felt safer at the palace, even though Elen seemed agitated.
“The good news,” Sandor said as we settled in the conference room an hour after we landed, “is that no one recognized you in New York.”
“The bad news, of course, is that Omar assumed you went to Tahiti and went after your friends there.” Joe looked almost as annoyed as I felt.
“What are we going to do?” Elen asked, her blue eyes darkening angrily. “I can’t have him going after people I care about. Especially people who have neither the means nor the experience to take on someone like Omar.”
“Chains is sending someone from his firm to keep an eye on them,” Joe responded. “They won’t even know he’s there, but he’ll be watching, making sure no one goes after Samaria or the kids.”
“Thank you.” She nodded but was tapping her foot impatiently.
“As far as your friends go,” Erik said, “you can make an appearance at Parliament tomorrow, and if Omar actually has spies there, he’ll know you’re back in Hiskale and leave everyone innocent out of this.”
“He’s still after you,” she told him. “Which means he could be going after Luke.”
“School lets out next week and I’m bringing both him and Sasha here until after the wedding.”
“But when does this end?” she asked. “Are we ever going to live with some semblance of normalcy? Does this ever stop? It’s been twelve fucking years!”
I knew Elen and she was on the verge of tears again, though she was masking it with anger, her voice rising as she clenched her fists. I slid my hand under the table, letting it rest on her thigh, stroking it gently as I tried to calm her.
“I know.” Erik met her gaze directly. “Believe me, if anyone understands your frustration, it’s me.”
“How do you do this every day?” she asked him. “Because personally, I just want to leave and live under an assumed name and pretend I’m someone else.”
“I do too,” Erik said quietly. “Every damn day. But I stay because it’s the right thing to do. Because I’ve already sacrificed so much and there are so many people counting on us. But we’re done
with this Omar situation. Now that he’s made credible and direct threats, Ace is going to take him out. He wanted to wait until Shannon was settled, but he understands that we can’t, so he’s on this. He’s searching for Omar now, and when he finds him, he’s going to kill him.”
Elen took a shaky breath. “And what happens if he can’t find him?”
“He will.”
The meeting went on for another hour and when we disbursed, Elen excused herself to go work for a while. I stayed behind, motioning to Sandor that I needed to talk to him.
“She’s having a tough time, huh?” Sandor asked once we were alone.
“You have no idea. I’m half-afraid she’s going to go after him herself.”
“Jesus. You need to make sure that doesn’t happen,” Sandor said, frowning.
“Believe me, I know. But she’s struggled with the adjustment back into royal life, and these constant threats wear on her.”
“They wear on all of us,” he said. “I’m getting married in six weeks and we’re not going to be able to go on a honeymoon if we don’t find this asshole before then.”
I ran a hand through my hair. “What if I went looking for him too? In addition to Ace? Two of us could share leads and cover more ground.”
“I need you here, spending every waking moment with Elen. Seriously, I want you with her even when she’s in the palace. I’m worried about her safety but also her state of mind. If she gets a wild hair to go looking for him herself, it could go wrong in too many ways to count.”
“I’m on it,” I said, nodding. “Don’t give it another thought.”
“Believe me, no matter what, this is the only thing I’m thinking about right now.”
“I’m sure Lennox will be happy to hear that,” I told him.
He gave me a look. “You have no idea.”
Sticking close to Elen when she was in a bad mood wasn’t the same as when we were on vacation. She’d raised her eyebrows when I told her Sandor wanted me with her twenty-four seven and then ignored me for the rest of the afternoon as she worked on whatever bill she had up next in Parliament. It was constant, the bills and briefs she worked on as the Minister of Education, and I was beginning to understand her frustration with the job. She enjoyed it in general, but with people like Senator Novak making the job infinitely harder, it got tiresome. The added stress of Omar’s threats wasn’t helping and by the end of the day she’d snapped at me half a dozen times.
We’d gotten so close in New York and now I was the one frustrated because she was right back on edge, like she’d been before Tahiti. I’d done everything I could to let her know I understood how she felt and wanted to help, but she was nothing if not stubborn. Two days ago we’d been talking about making babies sometime in the near future. Now, she was essentially shutting me out. Whether it was to protect me or something else, I wasn’t sure, but she was starting to distance herself emotionally and I didn’t know what the hell to do about it.
“Do you want to go down to dinner with everyone?” I asked her.
“Might as well.” She shrugged and grabbed her phone as we got ready to go. I reached for her hand and we walked down the stairs in silence. She was a million miles away and I opted to let her sort through her feelings without input from me. It was hard to tell someone else to feel or not feel a certain way, so I wouldn’t go there.
We settled at the table, sitting with Sandor, Lennox and Daniil. The chef had made an American-style steak dinner tonight, with French fries and corn on the cob. It was one of my favorite meals, but Elen picked at hers, her thoughts keeping her distracted and not really engaged in the conversation about updated safety protocols.
“Elen, are you listening?” Sandor asked her.
She glanced up. “Sorry, no. What did you say?”
“We’re upgrading security measures, so not only will Xander be with you all day and night, he literally will not leave your side. That includes when you use the restroom, when you’re in Parliament, everywhere.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Oh, come on. He already practically lives with me. We sleep together. He doesn’t need to watch me pee.”
“When you’re outside of the palace? He absolutely does.”
She scowled. “This is getting a little ridiculous, Sandor.”
“Do you want to end up in Omar’s clutches?” he countered.
“I understand when we’re out of the palace, but not here. This is our home—my home. Do you go with Lennox everywhere?”
“Lennox is a bodyguard,” he said quietly. “Her skills are equal to mine, so it’s not the same thing. You don’t have those skills. In an attempted kidnapping, how likely are you to protect yourself?”
“No one is going to kidnap me out of the bathroom in my suite,” she protested.
“You don’t know that. We’ve had all kinds of attacks. The palace is fairly safe, but not a hundred percent. We have to be overly cautious right now.”
“He’s right, El.” Daniil joined in the conversation, lifting a hand. “You haven’t been interested in learning the martial arts, so you’re a lot more vulnerable than even Casey, because at least she can protect herself.”
Elen’s face tightened slightly. “Well, it’s no way to live and I’m not going to stop living because my big brothers are overprotective.”
“It’s not just them,” I interjected quietly, wanting to help her understand that her brothers weren’t being overprotective, that they had a point. “They’re right. We have to be diligent right now. More than ever. And I need to know you’re not going to go back to fighting me about this because you’re the weakest link in the royal family, as far as being able to protect yourself.”
Uh-oh. The look she gave me nearly made my balls draw up tight in anticipation of some kind of pain. She was royally pissed and I cursed myself for not waiting until we were alone to say something like that.
“Oh, well, thank you so much for the pep talk.” She tossed her napkin down on the table, got up and stalked out of the room.
It wasn’t his fault, but I gave Sandor a dirty look as I got up to follow her.
28
Elen
I knew Xander was behind me but I was so fucking pissed I couldn’t look at him. Why did everything boil down to treating me like a child? I understood the need for extra security, but Sandor and Daniil had embarrassed me in front of the whole family, making it seem like I was a helpless little woman, and then Xander had sided with them. I was spectacularly pissed off.
“El?” He spoke softly when we got back to my suite and I whirled on him, narrowing my eyes.
“Seriously?” I yelled. “Did you actually agree with my brothers when they made me look like a helpless female who isn’t capable of protecting herself?”
He hesitated. “Well, in this particular instance, you aren’t capable of that. I mean, you are in general, but if Omar tries something? How will you stop him? Smack him with one of your stilettos?”
“You’re an asshole, you know that?” I glared at him.
“Babe, come on. We’re just trying to keep you safe until we can eliminate Omar. This isn’t normal times. It’s not meant to be an insult.”
“Maybe not, but you should have been on my side. I don’t care what the situation is, we’re a couple. You never, ever side against me. You’re supposed to have my back, always, even in a situation when I’m wrong. In private, you could have told me the truth, but in front of them?”
“Babe.” He reached for me but I moved away from him.
“I’m going to pee. You’re welcome to watch.”
This might be the stupidest thing ever to argue about, but having the man I loved gang up on me with my brothers bothered me. I knew they weren’t trying to hurt me, but it had anyway. I was already so over this, constantly worried and afraid, and instead of reassuring me, they’d pointed out just how vulnerable I was. As if I didn’t have enough to worry about. It also irked me that they made sure to rub it in my face that I wasn’t a black
belt or whatever, like Casey and Lennox. Because I had time for that. It’s not like I worked eighty hours a week or anything.
I stomped back into the bedroom and got ready for bed, keeping my back turned and ignoring Xander’s attempts to engage me.
When he got into bed beside me, he reached for me, but I gently pushed his hand away even though I faced him. “Not tonight,” I said softly. “I’m hurt and angry.”
“I’m sorry my siding with your brothers hurt your feelings,” he responded, his face shrouded in regret. “I promise, it’ll never happen again.”
I nodded. “It better not.”
“But I still can’t touch you.”
“I’m just tired and sad. Please give me a little space so I can work this out in my head and get past this.”
“I can’t,” he said slowly. “I’m not supposed to leave your side and I won’t. No matter what happens between us personally.”
I sighed and turned over again.
I didn’t sleep all night and finally gave up around six, putting on workout clothes and heading to the gym where I knew Lennox and a few of the others would be. Xander was my shadow, of course. He’d tossed and turned all night too, and I felt like a bitch for doing that to him, but I’d been so upset last night. I still was, though it wasn’t directed at anyone in particular anymore.
Xander, Sandor and Joe seemed deep in conversation as I jogged on the treadmill and I itched to know what they were talking about. It absolutely had to do with me and when I glanced at Lennox, she wasn’t looking at me either, which just verified my gut feeling. I wanted to interrupt them, ask them what was going on, but they probably wouldn’t tell me anyway.
Lennox eventually got on the treadmill next to mine and I momentarily took in her strong, fit body. She had six-pack abs, muscular arms for a woman, and a quiet strength I’d always admired. I’d never been jealous of her before, but today I was. I wished I was as strong as she was, had the kind of training that would allow me the same confidence she always exuded.