Loving a Santini

by Schroeder, Melissa

  “They said worse things than what you just said?”

  She sighed. “When Mom went in, I thought that maybe I would look him up. Not for anything, really, but everyone I knew had these great family connections. Even in divorced families, many Hawaiians keep those connections. Granted, sometimes it isn’t pleasant, but they always know they have their families to help them. Well, the friends I have do.”

  “And you wanted that too?

  She nodded looking down at her hands. She had just wanted her father to know that she was there. When she found the letters, any thoughts of a happy reunion shattered.

  Her vision wavered, and she realized she was crying. Mad that he had gotten her to cry, she brushed the tears away.

  “Hey,” Nando said, squatting down in front of her. She looked at him.

  “Sorry for all of this.”

  He shook his head as he took her hands. “I’m a Santini. I’m made of sterner stuff than an angry father asking why I debauched his daughter.”

  She snorted. “I wasn’t a virgin, and I think we both debauched each other.”

  He chuckled and rose to his feet. He pulled her up off the bed and into his arms. “I know this kind of sucks, and you have definite reasons not to ever speak to him again. But, I know his wife died recently.”

  “Oh.”

  “Maybe he has some regrets. If you hear him out, and still want nothing to do with him, then you can say that you gave him his chance. Then he’s out of your life.”

  “Please tell me you don’t work for him.”

  He smiled and kissed her forehead. “Nope. He just knows my supervisor. And he apparently knew my folks back when they first started dating.”

  She leaned back and looked up at him. “Are you serious?”

  “Hey, if Honolulu is the biggest little city, then the Marines are worse, especially the officer corps. Not that many of us and when you get to a certain rank, everyone knows everyone else.”

  She grunted, which he apparently thought was funny because he laughed.

  “Tell you what. I’ll go out there, keep him company while you compose yourself and get dressed. Let him have his say, then kick him to the curb if you want to.”

  She sighed. “I don’t want to be reasonable.”

  “I know. But the sooner you do, the sooner we can go for a ride.”

  She smiled. “Okay.”

  He kissed her nose, then grabbed his shirt and put it on.

  “Nando,” she said. “Thanks.”

  He closed the distance between them and pulled her into his arms. The moment his mouth touched hers, she felt all the anger start to slip away. Just like that, he made her feel better. Then, he pulled back, gave her that sexy smile, and left her alone to her own thoughts.

  She took a moment to collect herself and think about how to deal with her sperm donor. She’d never think of him as her father. A father is a guy who was there for you. He kissed your boo boos, gave your first date death glares, and he was there when you had to say goodbye to your mother. It wasn’t a guy who didn’t use a condom and abandoned you. That was a sperm donor.

  She knew thinking about him and what he did to her mother wouldn’t help anything. She’d clean up, then deal with him, just like Nando said.

  * * *

  Nando eyed the general and tried to think of something to say. He had been caught making out with Jenny McQuire when he was fifteen. That had been less awkward--and her father had been polishing his gun when Nando had to answer questions.

  This man outranked him, and worse, he had a connection with Sunshine that might not seem important to her, but Nando knew it was. Her whole reason for not dating military was standing in her living room.

  Sinclair moved from photo to photo, studying them as if worried he would forget them.

  Nando cleared his throat and Sinclair turned around.

  “Oh, Santini. Is my daughter coming out?”

  “Yes. She just wanted to get dressed.”

  And there, he just reminded a man who could ruin his career, that he had been sitting at breakfast with his daughter, who had been wearing nothing but a pair of panties and a kimono.

  “How do you know my daughter?”

  Nando didn’t miss the way Sinclair kept emphasizing the words my daughter.

  “We’re dating.”

  He grunted.

  “Would you like some coffee?” Nando asked.

  “Thank you.”

  Nando was thankful to have something to do. It was getting more awkward by the second. After pouring the coffee into a green mug with an owl imprinted on it, he turned and handed it to the general.

  “Do you want anything for it?”

  He shook his head. “I couldn’t find her mother.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “When I got here a few weeks ago, I couldn’t find her mother.”

  “She’s gone.”

  “Gone? As in died?”

  He nodded, wondering exactly how out of the loop Sinclair was about the woman he had a fling with and the daughter they created.

  There was no doubting she was his daughter. They had the same coloring, fair skin, sprinkles of freckles, the same shade of green eyes. It was amazing Nando hadn’t picked up on it before.

  But, there were those other features. Her cute little nose, and her full, seductive mouth. That she had had on many different parts of his body.

  Damn.

  “Can you tell me what happened?”

  “I think that Sunshine should tell you that story.”

  He might outrank Nando, but there was no way he was going to let the man off the hook. He had a daughter he never supported. In Nando’s opinion, Sinclair didn’t have a right to the stars on his shoulders.

  He nodded. “I took this last job for a couple of reasons. First, my son is stationed here. He flies C-130s for the Air Force.”

  “Sunshine has a brother living here? Does he know he has a sister?”

  Sinclair nodded, once.

  “Oh, so you just admitted it to him.”

  “I just said so.” His voice was filled with aggravation.

  “I might not have a right to say anything, but I will say this: if she doesn’t want you in her life, then you don’t get a place. You feel me, sir?”

  He didn’t mean to get so confrontational, but damn, he was pissed. Sunshine had been left alone in the world and this idiot thought the best thing was to cut off all contact.

  “You should understand your place.”

  “And that would be, sir? I respect your rank, but as a father, I think you are a major fail.”

  His eyes widened. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but I was thinking it was you who persuaded her to talk to me.”

  “I was, but if Sunshine says that she doesn’t want to have anything to do with you, that’s what I will back.”

  It went against his military training, but he was a Santini first. Those core values might work with the military, but he knew at the heart of everything good in his life was his family. A man that turned his back on his daughter wasn’t a good man.

  “Is that a fact?”

  Before he could answer him, Sunshine spoke from behind him.

  “Thank you, Nando.”

  He hadn’t heard her approaching, but that told him just how pissed he was at the general. He never had to think twice about support from his parents or siblings. Hell, throw in the entire Santini clan of aunts, uncles, and cousins. He couldn’t imagine having one person in your life and having them turn their back on you.

  “I would like a moment to speak alone with my daughter, Santini.”

  He ignored Sinclair and turned to face Sunshine. She had put on a pair of board shorts and a tank top. She’d pulled her hair up in a sassy pony tail.

  “I’ll stay if you want me to.”

  She looked past him to the man who fathered her, then back at him. “I think I can handle it.”

  “Sure?”

  She nodded. He placed a hand on her hip a
nd leaned in for a kiss.

  “I’ll be right out back.”

  Then, he walked away, fighting every urge that told him to shield her. He knew she had to do this on her own. But in that moment, he started to understand why so many Santinis fell for the curse, because he was pretty damned sure he had…hook, line, sinker.

  Chapter Twelve

  For a few long moments, neither of them spoke. Of course, what did one say to the sperm donor who abandoned her? Go get bent?

  “So, how long have you been seeing Santini?”

  Sunshine shook her head. “I’m not talking about that.”

  “I was just…” he sighed.

  She saw that man beneath, the charmer who had romanced her mother. There had never been a bad word uttered about her father from her mother. She had never said awful things, and Sunshine was thankful for that. She was sure, knowing her mother, she understood that running down her father was in a way running down Sunshine.

  “Just tell me what you want?”

  “I wanted to see…”

  Dammit. Her heart softened just a bit when she saw how uncomfortable he was. Suck it up, she ordered herself. She could not give in to a man who was nothing to her.

  “Your mother. Santini told me she died?”

  She nodded.

  “Are you going to tell me how?”

  “She had early onset dementia, which as you know, can cause heart issues.”

  “When?”

  “Ten years ago.”

  She saw the moment he did the math in his head. “Who did you live with?”

  “I moved in with my mother’s best friend a couple years before that.”

  “You weren’t living with your mother?”

  “Kind of hard since she had to go live in a nursing facility.”

  He shoved a hand through his thick auburn hair. “I had no idea that was going on.”

  “But you should have known.”

  He studied her. From the irritation in his green eyes, she knew he wasn’t happy with the comment. Too bad. She might be his biological daughter, but she wasn’t one of his Marines. She didn’t work for him, and she owed him nothing.

  “I guess you’re right.” He blew out a breath. “Believe it or not, I tried to find your mother.”

  She settled her hands on her hips. “Listen, I can deal with you being an asshole, but I won’t have you stand there and act like you didn’t know where my mother was. She mailed you a letter and your response told her all she needed to know. But, you knew she lived here. You knew where I was all these years.”

  Oh, mister general didn’t like being told that. Again, tough. He needed to realize that she wasn’t here to take commands or be a loving daughter who forgot a lifetime of being ignored.

  “I wasn’t sure she was still here.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t want to go over the past. You can’t fix that you were a horrible father and husband. I want to know what you want now.”

  “How do you know if I was a horrible husband and father?”

  “You turned your back on me and you cheated on your wife. You suck.”

  His eyes widened.

  “Excuse me?”

  “You cheated on your wife with my mother. Bad husband.”

  “And the father hit?”

  “You turned your back on me. And, you cheated on the mother of your children. All bad,” she said making a big circle in the air with her index finger.

  “I should have known you would be tough.”

  “Why?”

  “You come from over two hundred years of Marines.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Get over yourself. I come from my mother. She raised me and went without a lot of things so that I could have a good life. So she’s tough, not you.”

  His lips thinned. Did he really think this was going to be some kind of Hallmark TV reunion where she forgot everything? From the expression on his face, she thought he might.

  “Again, what do you want? Need a kidney?”

  He blinked. “No.”

  She said nothing, but she crossed her arms beneath her breasts.

  “I just wanted to make a connection and to tell you that you have two older brothers and a sister.”

  A slash of pain stabbed her heart. She had siblings? No, they weren’t hers.

  “Do they even know about me?”

  He nodded. “Jud is living on the island.”

  “What?”

  “He’s stationed at Pearl Harbor Hickam.”

  She blinked. “I have a brother named Jud?”

  “Judson. His mother’s maiden name.”

  “Is that why you’re here? For him?”

  “No. Well, partly. I’m finishing out my career here and I wanted to find you. Jud has been helping.”

  “And?”

  “He wants to meet you, as do your other siblings.”

  “Nope.”

  “What?”

  “I’m not going to allow you to dangle a family in front of me and make me think it’s about them. This is about you trying to atone for your sins.”

  “Of course it is.”

  She blinked, surprised he had been honest. It wasn’t something she had expected from him. “It is?”

  “Yes. I made some really bad choices when I was younger. When I was here TDY, my wife and I were trying a trial separation. I didn’t hide that from your mother.”

  “But you got back with your wife?”

  He nodded. “She had her first cancer scare then. Breast cancer ran in her family, but she was so young to have it. It brought us back together.”

  “And this Jud, he wants to meet me?”

  He nodded. “They all do.”

  She sighed. “I’ll have to think about it.”

  “That’s all I ask.”

  “Why the change?”

  His eyes turned sad. “My wife died about six months ago. It seems that she knew all about your mother. But she hadn’t found out about you until right before she got sick.”

  “How did you find out?”

  “I take it that you signed up for one of those DNA find your ancestors thing?”

  “Oh.”

  “Yeah, you showed up on my daughter’s, and she went to her mother. So, when my wife was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer, and we knew nothing could be done, she started to search for you.”

  Sunshine didn’t know how she felt about that. “You found out about this after she died?”

  His mouth twitched. “No. She made it one of her demands before she died. She said you had the right to know your siblings. You should have a family.”

  “Along with their father.”

  He shook his head. “She told me I didn’t deserve a chance.”

  She snorted. “Well, that’s true.”

  “You have my phone number. I’ve called enough.”

  She nodded.

  “I’m just asking that you take the time to consider it. Your siblings want to meet you, but they all understand that you might not want to.”

  “Okay. I will. For them. And for your wife because she seems a lot tougher than you.”

  He offered her a sad smile. “She was the strongest woman I have ever known.”

  They stood there for a few seconds staring at each other. The backdoor slamming broke the silence. “Need more coffee,” Nando said as he looked at her. His gaze roamed over her face.

  “That’s okay, Santini. I’m on my way. Think about it.”

  She nodded as he turned and walked out the front door. The room was silent for a few moments, then she sighed. She’d been so jazzed about going for a ride, but now she felt so tired.

  “Hey,” Nando said, slipping his arms around her and pulling her back against him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “My siblings want to meet me.”

  “Oh?”

  She turned in his arms. “I don’t know what to do.”

  “You don’t have to. Not yet.”

  She sighed and reste
d her head against his shoulder. “Today started out so great.”

  She felt his lips brush the top of her head. “And it can still be great. We’ll go for a ride and you can just be. Stop for lunch somewhere.”

  “I don’t know.”

  He pulled back and she lifted her head. He slipped his finger beneath her chin. “Hey. You can’t decide anything yet, and you’ll be worrying about it all day if you don’t do something.”

  She smiled. “How do you know me so well? You barely know me.”

  “I know you. I don’t know you as well as I want to, but I know you have a soft heart. You might not ever reconcile with your...with General Sinclair. But, I know that you wouldn’t blame the kids. They had nothing to do with what happened all those years ago.”

  She hated that he was right. She had always wanted to be tougher, but she couldn’t, not when she was one of the kids.

  “Okay. It sounds great. Then maybe, we can stop by your place, give Alana and Marco a break from the kids. Maybe give them a night out?”

  He smiled and kissed her nose. “See, there’s that soft heart.”

  “I’m not a pushover.”

  “But you are a good woman.”

  She wished she could live up to those expectations he seemed to have for her, but she knew she would fail. She wasn’t a woman made for long term relationships, but she would give him what she could and hope that would be enough.

  * * *

  He took her through the pineapple fields. It was one of his favorite drives all over the island. It cracked him up that people actually thought pineapples grew on trees. They passed Dole Plantation and then turned onto Farrington Highway. He liked the feel of her arms wrapped around his stomach as the air whipped around them.

  Even with the helmets on, it was a deeply intimate feeling having her on the back of his bike. The air up in this area was earthier, more real to him. He could almost always scent the ocean, except when he was up at Mililani but still, he liked the feel of Hawaiian air on his skin.

  Both of them had dressed for the ride, although they hadn’t gone full force wearing the leathers. Sunshine didn’t have any, and his were back at the cottage. But he had insisted on gloves--he had an extra pair--and long pants and jackets.