“What is it?” I asked hesitantly. I knew it was about my father. Something had happened.
“They took him. I tried to intervene, but there was nothing I could do,” she said in a defeated tone.
“They took him?” I repeated stupidly. I saw her mouth say the words and my ears heard them, but my brain refused to accept the information.
“I’m so sorry,” she said sadly. “I wish I could have done something.”
“Are there still Domers down here?” Jack asked urgently.
“No. They left with her father.” Bron told him.
“Where did they take him, Jack?” I demanded as I turned on him. “You of all people would know where they would take him. Tell me!”
“Sunny, I don’t know,” he began, but I cut him off.
“Tell me!” I yelled at him.
But he didn’t tell me. He just looked at me with a defeated expression. But I wasn’t ready to be defeated. In only a few months my entire life had been shattered beyond recognition. The only anchor I had left in my life was my Dad still living in our family home where I grew up. He couldn’t be gone.
“Tell me!” I yelled at Jack again.
But he just shook his head no and my anger flared. I was sure he knew where they took him and I would do anything to get that information out of him. I started pummelling my fists against his chest, but he grabbed my wrists preventing me from doing much damage.
“Sunny,” he started, but I didn’t want to hear his lies.
“You tell me!” I spat at him.
“I’m going to take her home,” he said to Bron over my head. He talked to her as if I wasn’t even here.
“This is my home!” I said between clenched teeth. “And I’m not going anywhere with you!”
I tried to break away from his hold on my wrists, but he pulled me down the hall with him. I wasn’t ready to leave my home yet. I needed to see for myself that Dad wasn’t in there. Maybe Bron made a mistake. I pulled against his hold, but he just tightened his grip.
“Let me go! I need to go back and see. Maybe he’s still in bed and Bron just didn’t see him,” I sobbed. Jack pulled me to him by my wrists and looked into my eyes.
“He’s gone, Sunny,” he told me. “They have him.”
I didn’t want him to tell me that. I didn’t want to believe it was true. But somewhere deep down inside me, I knew the truth. Bron said Domers took him. Domers didn’t come down here to kick people out of their homes. There was only one reason they would come for my Dad. Me.
I couldn’t stop the flood of tears that came pouring out even if I had the strength to try. I had been so naïve to trust Leisel. I thought she had been worth the risk of helping, and yet it had cost me far more than I ever could have imagined. Just thinking of her set every fibre of my being tingling with hatred and it sapped the rest of my strength. I felt my legs give out from under me and Jack let go of my wrists to catch me.
“I’m going to take you home,” he said gently.
“No. I don’t want to go,” I sobbed.
“What the hell are you doing to her?” Reyes’ voice rang out from down the hall.
I lifted my head from Jack’s shoulder and looked up to see Reyes bearing down on us. He looked like he was ready to kill Jack. I pushed away from him, hoping my legs would hold me up. They did.
“Reyes, it’s not what it looks like,” I began, but Reyes didn’t listen. He headed straight for Jack.
“I told you not to touch her,” he ground out between clenched teeth. He pushed Jack hard, making him back up a few steps.
“He wasn’t touching me like that,” I cried out.
Reyes was taking another run at him and I put my hand on his arm and stopped him. I saw Jack getting ready to spring at him. I knew what damage Jack could do to Reyes and I silently pleaded with him to leave Reyes alone. I saw him relax.
“Then what the hell was he doing?” Reyes demanded from me, looking at me for the first time. “You’re crying,” he declared and gave Jack another accusatory glare.
“Can we go somewhere and talk?” I asked Reyes calmly.
He turned his eyes back to me and gave me a single nod. I slipped my hand into his and walked down the hall with him. I hadn’t been alone with Reyes since the night I was drafted to work at the bachelor party. I owed him so much.
“They took my father,” I said when we found a place to be alone.
“I heard. It’s always big news when Domers come into the Pit,” he said. “You know I’m still here for you.”
He looked into my eyes and brushed away my tears. I looked back into his dark eyes. When he wasn’t angry or upset, he had kind and loving eyes. I always thought they were his best feature. He brought his lips to mine and we kissed. It was a gentle kiss at first, but then he became more aggressive. He backed me up against the wall and his hands started searching under my t-shirt.
“Stop!” I said, breaking away from his lips.
“I don’t want to stop this time,” he said flatly. He kissed my neck while his hands continued their search despite my struggles. “What are you wearing?”
“A bulletproof vest, which apparently protects me from rape too!” I spat at him.
“I’m not raping you,” he denied heatedly.
“My answer is no Reyes. I’m not doing this with you,” I said, waiting for him to take his hands off me. He finally did when he saw the resolution in my eyes.
“I don’t understand. We’ve been together so long. If you loved me you would want to,” he reasoned.
“For god-sake Reyes! I just found out that my father’s been taken into custody. I don’t know if he’s being tortured or already dead,” I said, astonished by his complete lack of sympathy.
“And I might lose you,” he said in despair.
Now I understood his desperation to make love to me, but it wouldn’t help either one of us. In fact, it would just make things more difficult. I couldn’t offer him a future anymore. Not only was I on the run from Holt, but also I was legally married. And it was all my fault.
“Oh, Reyes,” I said softly. “I’m sorry I did this to you. I’m sorry we can’t be together.”
“We can still be together. You don’t have to live with that bourge,” he said.
“But I don’t have anywhere else to go and neither does he,” I said in confusion.
“Who cares if he has somewhere to go? Get rid of him and I’ll move in with you,” he said.
I tried to reason in my head what he was asking of me. Why was he bringing this up now, just when I was trying to deal with the news of my father? Didn’t Reyes know that my life was a mess? Why was he trying to complicate it even more?
“You know what you’re asking is impossible,” I said, shaking my head. “The first time we had to scan in during a lockdown we’d be caught and arrested.”
“Or maybe you just don’t want to get rid of him,” he accused.
“What?” I asked in confusion.
“Maybe your marriage to him wasn’t an accident. Maybe it happened exactly like the President’s daughter said,” he said angrily and took a step away from me.
I tried to think, to remember what Leisel had said. I remembered she accused Jack of being in love with me and that we had planned it all out. I tried to envision how it must have looked on television, but I couldn’t imagine.
“No. It happened exactly the way I told you. I didn’t lie,” I said matter-of-factly. “I’m not in love with Jack, but that doesn’t mean I want to see him hurt. Right now, our new identities are the only thing keeping us safe.” As I said the words a little voice inside my head started laughing at me, asking me safe for how long? I wondered if I was going crazy. How could Reyes demand a future with me when I could be dead tomorrow? Didn’t he know my life was as good as over?
“I don’t know what to do,” he said in frustration.
“Neither do I,” I agreed. “It’s going to be lights out soon. I need to get back.”
“Think
about what I asked,” Reyes pleaded.
I smiled sadly and gave him one last kiss before I made my way back to the apartment. I could think about it all I wanted, but nothing was going to change.
Chapter Sixteen
Jack was doing sit-ups when I walked into the apartment. I had hoped he would be asleep. I didn’t really feel like talking. I felt like my life had become surreal and I was nothing more than an apparition walking through it. How could things have gone so terribly wrong? I knew Reyes wanted my full attention on him, but he was the least of my worries. My Dad and Summer were both in imminent danger because of my actions. But I didn’t know how to help them.
Jack stopped exercising when I walked in and jumped to his feet.
“I was worried about you,” he said a bit awkwardly.
“There was no need. I was with Reyes,” I replied.
“That’s one of the reasons why I was worried,” he said. I raised my eyebrows at his remark.
“He wouldn’t hurt me,” I told him.
“Really?” he persisted. I glared at him. “You were really upset,” he said, changing the subject.
“Was I? I can’t imagine why. I mean it’s not like my Dad was just taken prisoner, or that my best friend is being used by a monster or that I’m on the run from being executed… Oh wait! That is my life,” I said mockingly. I ripped off my hat and threw it on the table.
“I guess saying you had a bad day is a bit of an understatement,” he said apologetically. “You can take your frustrations out on me,” he offered, spreading his arms wide.
For some reason I couldn’t fathom, my thoughts wandered to Reyes and his insistent groping a few minutes earlier. It had all gone so badly with him. I knew despite everything that had happened, he still wanted me, but I didn’t think I had anything left to give. My heart was too full of murderous desire.
“In my mood, I might just do some real damage,” I said, flopping down into a chair. “Tell me now, Jack. Where do you think they would take him?”
“He’s probably being questioned about you. About us,” he said honestly.
“Would they torture him?” I asked, not sure I wanted to know the answer.
“Maybe. I don’t know for sure. It depends on what he tells them right away,” he said. I could tell he was being honest with me, but I felt there was something he wasn’t telling me.
“Will they send him back? When they’re done questioning him, will they send him back here?” I asked. He looked at me for a few moments before he answered, as if weighing what he was about to say.
“Probably not,” he admitted with a pained expression.
“What will happen to him?” I persisted. I wanted to know everything no matter how much it tore me up inside.
“I don’t know for sure. Maybe he’ll be Culled early,” Jack said uncomfortably.
“Culled early,” I repeated. “There’s no such thing as being Culled early. Fifteen years ago when your people tried to lower the age of the Cull to thirty, we rebelled and the age was kept at thirty-five. So you see, I know there’s no such thing as being Culled early. If my father is killed now, it’s called murder,” I explained in a rational tone of voice.
“I’m sorry,” he said sincerely. “Just tell me what I can do for you. I’ll do it.”
“There’s nothing you can do. There’s nothing I can do. The bourge will win like always,” I said, defeated.
“So you’re giving up?” he asked with a confused look on his face.
“What else can I do? They’ve taken away everyone I ever loved. My mother and father are gone, my best friend is gone, and pretty soon you and I will both be gone. We can’t win. The odds were always stacked against us.” The lights went out leaving us in darkness. “See? They even tell us when it’s time to go to bed. Good night Jack,” I said, bringing our conversation to an end.
“I’ll take the chair,” he offered.
“No. It’s my turn tonight,” I said dismissively.
“Good night, Sunny,” he bid me.
I watched him stumble his way to the bedroom, knocking things over as he went. I marvelled at how completely blind he was in the dark.
I hunkered down in the chair even though I was sure I was never going to get to sleep. My head was pounding and my stomach was upset. I tried to sort through the mess that was my life, but my brain refused to cooperate. Instead, I found myself thinking about when Summer and I were kids still in school and all we had to worry about was getting our homework done. Somehow, I managed to drift off to sleep wrapped up in the memory.
The bong bongs ringing out startled me awake. It felt like I had just closed my eyes. I pushed myself up on my elbows and looked around the bedroom. My bulletproof vest was on the floor beside the bed. I was confused because I was sure I went to sleep in the chair. I heard Jack moving in the other room. Although I would have preferred to lie down and pull the blanket over my head today, I forced myself to get up and get dressed. Jack was at the sink splashing cold water on his face when I went into the next room.
“I thought I was supposed to take the chair last night,” I complained.
“I missed the chair. It’s comfortable,” he lied.
“No it’s not. And you look exhausted,” I told him.
“You could use some cold water on your face too,” he replied.
I realized I must look a mess. My eyes felt hot and swollen from crying so I took his advice. The cold really did feel good even though I knew it was a waste of our water ration.
“Thanks for taking my vest off me last night,” I said with mixed feelings. It was good to get the weight off for a few hours, but not so good to be half naked in front of Jack. I saw Jack turn a little red.
“It was pitch black. I didn’t see anything,” he admitted. “But I know how much you hate wearing it.”
“I do hate wearing it. It’s a constant reminder of what my life’s become,” I said sullenly.
“Ready to go to breakfast?” he asked brightly, changing the subject.
“I’m not hungry this morning,” I replied.
“Oh, yes you are. Come on,” he said throwing my hat at me. I caught it. “Food will make you feel better.”
I wondered why he was being so nice to me. I figured it was because I was ready to give up and if I did that we would both end up being caught. His survival was inextricably linked to my own. I didn’t feel like I owed him anything, but I didn’t have any desire to see him dead either. So I put my hat on and followed him out the door.
He automatically went down to the sixth floor common room for breakfast. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go or not. Reyes would be there, probably hoping for an answer from me. And there was only one answer I could give him and he wasn’t going to like it.
The line-up for breakfast was short and I realized we were early. I looked around the room and almost sighed with relief when I didn’t see Reyes. Maybe if we ate fast enough, I could get out of here before he showed up.
“Sorry to see your boyfriend’s not here yet,” Jack said once we were seated. I opened my food container and felt a wave of nausea. “Eat it,” Jack ordered me. He must have seen the expression on my face. I took a spoonful and forced it down.
“Summer’s not here either,” I remarked absentmindedly. I would really love to see her.
“You miss her a lot, don’t you?” Jack asked softly.
“I do,” I admitted. The food was getting easier to eat and my stomach was feeling better. I finished the container and drained my glass of water. Jack was finished too. “I guess we should head to work,” I suggested.
“You don’t want to wait and see Reyes?” he asked.
“I’ll see him tonight,” I shrugged. He raised his eyebrows inquisitively at my comment, but didn’t push for an answer.
We walked silently together to the stairs. He surprised me when he gently took my arm and pulled me toward him. He kissed the top of my head.
“Stay safe,” he said and then began his descent int
o the mines.
I made my way up to the second floor to the laundry room. Crystal was already there, waiting patiently for the room to be unlocked. When she saw me coming, she quickly turned her attention to the floor. Obviously, she didn’t want to socialize, which was fine by me. I didn’t want to either. So we stood together in an awkward silence. I noticed she gave me a sidelong glance every once and a while. I probably looked awful.
“I see we have another early bird,” Supervisor Madi said sarcastically when she arrived to work. Perhaps it wasn’t a good thing to be early.
She unlocked the door and I went to follow her in, but she let the door fall back and it almost slammed in my face. I caught it by one hand before it did.
“You didn’t think she was going to hold the door open for you?” Crystal asked wryly.
“I’ll know better next time,” I replied.
As I walked into the laundry room, I realized that getting here early wasn’t such a good idea. Di wasn’t here yet and I still needed pointers on the finer details of doing laundry. I scanned in and went over to the carts of dirty laundry already cued and waiting to be done. I took the first one and went to the station I worked at yesterday and started sorting clothes. I was almost done when Di walked in.
“Good morning, Crystal. Good morning, Autumn,” she called out to both of us. Crystal ignored her as she did yesterday.
“Good morning, Di,” I greeted her.
“Oooh, someone had a hard night last night,” she commented when she saw my swollen eyes. “Lover upstairs?” she asked. I saw Crystal perk up and pay attention to our conversation.
“A lover upstairs?” I repeated stupidly.
“Are you somebody’s mistress? Did he treat you badly?” she clarified.
Now I understood what she meant. She wanted to know if I was in the same position as Summer was with the President.
“No, nothing like that. I just had bad news last night,” I dismissed it.
“Someone pass away?” she asked. I wished she would stop asking questions.
“My father,” I confirmed. I thought if I gave her an answer she would stop asking questions.
Sunset Rising Page 17