by Irene Hannon
“How are you holding up?”
Blake turned at A.J.’s voice, and his lips tipped into a wry smile. “My parents would be proud.”
Her answering smile warmed his heart. As did the expression in her eyes, which spoke of admiration and respect. And something more, something indefinable, that made his throat go dry. “I’m sure they would,” she replied softly, her voice slightly uneven. “And so am I.”
She was pulled away then by a reporter, but as Blake watched her go, he suddenly felt more alive than he had in a very long time.
The atmosphere was festive that night, almost boisterous, as the merchants gathered in the bar at George’s restaurant to watch the evening news together. But silence fell when the announcer introduced their story.
The camera panned the area in front of city hall, taking in the impressive crowd. A voice-over gave the background on the development proposal, and then a number of residents and merchants spoke on camera. There was an interview with Stuart MacKenzie, followed by one with the mayor, who assured the reporter that the voices of the protesters had been heard and that the board members would take their concerns under advisement when a final decision was made.
As the anchorman moved on to the next story, George turned down the volume and looked at A.J. “So what do you think?”
“I think we did everything we could. It was a positive story for us.”
“So what do we do now?” Rose asked.
For some reason, everyone looked at Blake. Maybe because he had the closest connection to city hall. He wished he could offer them more, but he could only repeat what he’d told A.J. when she’d asked that question much earlier in the process.
“We wait.”
Waiting wasn’t easy, however. Almost every day the merchants checked in with one another, and Blake kept in close touch with his neighbor. But one week, then two, then three passed, and still there was no decision.
In the meantime, A.J. began to realize that she and Blake were becoming a couple. She wasn’t exactly sure how that had happened. She supposed it had started when he began to regularly attend church services with her, after the blizzard. That had become a Sunday ritual, followed by breakfast together. Then she had started inviting him to dinner on a regular basis. He began bringing in lunch for them at the shop. They attended several movies together that they both wanted to see. He claimed it helped them relax as they waited for the verdict from the board.
It was always Dutch treat, so it wasn’t exactly dating. And there was no romance involved. But an attraction simmered just below the surface. She was aware of it. And she was sure he was, too. One day soon they’d have to deal with it. But neither seemed ready to take that step.
Though they were especially careful at the shop to keep things purely professional, Nancy was too sharp to miss the change in their relationship.
“Things seem a little…friendlier…between you and Blake lately,” she ventured one day in mid-April when she and A.J. were shelving some new arrivals.
A.J. reached for another stack of books, using the maneuver to hide her suddenly flushed face. “Well, we’re very different. I suppose we’re finally figuring out how to work together,” she replied, striving for a matter-of-fact tone.
“That’s good. Where is he, by the way? He’s been gone an awfully long time.”
A.J. glanced at her watch and frowned. “I don’t know. He said he was just going to grab a sandwich at the deli. Maybe he decided to eat at one of the tables in front.” She gazed wistfully out the window. “I certainly would have. It’s such a gorgeous day. Too gorgeous to waste inside.”
“My sentiments exactly.”
The women turned toward the back room. Blake was standing in the doorway with a wicker picnic hamper in his hand.
“What’s that for?” Nancy asked.
“What do you think it’s for?” He was grinning.
“Where did you get it?”
“Rose came to my rescue again.”
A.J. stared at him. “You’re going on a picnic?”
“Yes.”
“But…aren’t you scheduled to work this afternoon?”
“Nancy’s here. And I called Trish. She’s off from school today and can be here in half an hour. As you just said, this is much too nice a day to waste inside. The dogwoods are blooming, and the spring flowers are out in full force. I thought I’d head over to Tilles Park. Sit by the lake. Feed the ducks. Enjoy the sun.”
Now it was Nancy’s turn to stare. “Since when have you started noticing the beauty of nature? And skipping out on work?”
He shrugged. “I thought I’d give this spontaneous thing a shot.” He turned to A.J. and gave her an engaging grin. “Want to join me?”
She continued to stare. She’d never seen him like this. “But…but I’m not sure we should just leave the shop…”
“Loosen up, A.J. The world won’t end if we take the afternoon off. Nancy can handle things. Right, Nancy?”
The woman looked from Blake to A.J., then back again, clearly bewildered. “Sure.”
“See? So what do you say?”
A.J. knew a stack of invoices in the back needed processing. She was also supposed to change the window display this afternoon. And she had a new shipment of merchandise from Good Samaritan to unpack. There was way too much to do today to take the afternoon off. She hesitated, torn between her responsibilities at the shop and the appeal of Blake’s invitation.
“Come on, A.J. Seize the moment.” Blake’s eyes were twinkling, and he winked at her.
The irony of his remark wasn’t lost on her. It sounded like one of the lines she’d used on him when she’d first arrived. A wry smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “I may regret this when I have to work till midnight tomorrow, but…okay.”
“Terrific!” He reached for her hand and pulled her toward the back, talking to Nancy over his shoulder as A.J. grabbed her sweater. “I’m getting her out of here before she changes her mind. You’ve got my cell phone number if there’s an emergency, right?”
“Don’t worry about a thing. Just have fun.”
Once they were in the car, A.J. turned to Blake. “So what’s this all about?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve never done anything like this before.”
“Are you complaining?”
“No. But it just seems a little…out of character.”
He shrugged. “Maybe I’m changing.”
She thought about that for a moment. “Well, don’t change too much.”
“You mean you liked that uptight, stuffy, inflexible, conventional guy you first met?”
She flushed. “I never said you were like that.”
“You didn’t have to. That’s what you thought. And you were right. I did need to loosen up. To be more open to change. More spontaneous. So how am I doing?”
She smiled. Actually, Blake had been slowly changing over the past few months. He was starting to let go of the tight control he’d always exercised over his life. To go with the flow a bit more. His involvement with the MacKenzie situation was a great example. He’d left his comfort zone, taken a chance, and found out it wasn’t so bad after all. She was happy for him. The changes he was making would surely enhance his life.
“You’re doing great. But don’t lose all your good qualities along the way, too, okay?”
“Such as?”
“Well, let’s see.” She ticked them off on her fingers. “You’re dependable. Kind. Hardworking. Practical. Thoughtful. Smart.”
“You forgot good-looking,” he teased.
“Let’s not get carried away,” she replied with a grin.
“Ouch! You sure know how to hurt a guy.” He turned into the park, made the loop to the lake and pulled into a parking space. “I just discovered this park. Rose told me about it a few days ago, so I checked it out. I can’t believe I’ve lived here for three years and never even knew this place existed. But then, there were a lot of things I never
noticed.”
A.J. stepped out of the car and looked at the lake. A pavilion stood off to one side, and there was a large deck that went right up to the water. Built-in benches and picnic tables were scattered around the planked surface. “Well, I’m glad you noticed this,” she said, smiling appreciatively at the peaceful, quiet scene.
“Yeah, and it’s all ours today,” he said, nodding toward the deserted pavilion.
Once again he reached for her hand, as he had at the shop. A.J. didn’t protest. She liked the way his strong fingers held hers firmly, protectively.
He led her to a picnic table on the deck, near the water’s edge. “How does this look?”
“Perfect.”
“Okay. Let’s see what Rose has packed.” He opened the hamper and handed A.J. a checkered cloth. “Hmm. I see she expects us to do this in style. A tablecloth, no less.” As A.J. spread the cloth, he rummaged around in the hamper, then began handing her the food. “Chicken salad on croissants. Pasta salad. Fresh fruit. Cheese and crackers. Double fudge brownies. Bottled water. I’d say we have a feast here.”
“Seems like it.”
A.J. unwrapped her sandwich and took a bite. She closed her eyes as she chewed, savoring the warm spring sun on her back and this stolen afternoon. “This is great!”
“So you don’t mind playing hooky after all?” Blake teased, spearing a forkful of pasta salad.
“That’s the trouble. I could do this every day. You’re going to instill bad habits in me.”
“I don’t think that’s possible.”
“You might be surprised. You could turn me into a world-class loafer with no problem.”
“Sorry. Don’t buy it. There’s not a lazy bone in your body.”
“Mmm. I don’t know. I feel pretty lazy today.”
“That’s probably because you need a day off.”
“I’m off every Sunday. And every other Saturday.”
“I mean a real vacation day.”
She shrugged. “There’s been a lot to learn at the shop. And things have been hopping with MacKenzie. Besides, who are you to talk? You don’t take much time off. And I saw your calendar in the den when I spent the night at your house. Even on your free Saturdays you’re busy.” She turned to look at him. “I didn’t know about the homeless shelter or Big Brothers until then. I’m impressed, Blake.”
He dismissed her comment with a wave of his hand. “My paltry efforts pale in comparison to what you did in Afghanistan.”
A troubled frown creased her brow. “Actually, I’m not sure I can take a lot of credit for that. Lately I’ve been doing a lot of soul-searching. In some ways, I think I was running away.”
“You could have run to a safer, more comfortable place,” he said skeptically.
“Maybe. But I wanted to go somewhere that didn’t even remotely remind me of home.”
“You picked a good place, then. And frankly, you had a lot to run away from.”
She picked at her pasta salad with the tines of her fork. “Yeah, but running isn’t the answer. Not in the long term,” she said quietly, a touch of melancholy in her tone. She speared a forkful of noodles, and when she spoke again, her voice was more normal. “I’m not sorry I went to Afghanistan, though. We did some great work there. But I realize now that you don’t have to go to the remote corners of the world to help others. You can do good work a lot closer to home. Like you do, with those two organizations.”
“I’m just glad that another trip to Afghanistan isn’t in your plans. Do you want a brownie?”
She grinned. “Are you kidding?”
He handed one over, then unwrapped his own. “By the way, I wanted to thank you for dragging me along to church that Sunday after the snowstorm.”
“I don’t recall dragging you. In fact, I think it was your idea.”
“Well, maybe. But not for the most noble reasons.” He hurried on before she could ask what he meant. “Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I took your advice and had a theological discussion with Reverend Matthews. In fact, more than one discussion.”
She looked at him in surprise. “When did you do that?”
“The week after the storm. He was very approachable. And very informative.”
“He’s a great guy.”
“Anyway, after that I called my parents.”
She gave him a radiant smile. “Oh, Blake, I’m so glad! I bet they were delighted!”
He crumpled the plastic wrap from his brownie self-consciously. “Yeah, they were. We had a long talk. They want me to come and visit.”
“Are you going to go?”
“Probably. I didn’t commit, but I think it makes sense. It’s hard to really connect by phone. We made a good start, though.”
She reached over impulsively and laid her hand on his. “I’m so happy for you, Blake. And proud of you. It’s not easy to forgive, to let go of resentment that goes so deep. Especially when you’ve felt that way for such a long time. But at least you’ve taken the first step. Started the healing process. The rest will be easier.”
Blake looked down at A.J.’s hand resting on his, her slender fingers pale against his darker skin. Then he glanced at her face. Her earnest eyes reflected absolute happiness for him and her lips were turned up softly into a tender smile that tugged at his heart. The sun lit up the red highlights in her hair, and Blake drew an unsteady breath. He hadn’t asked A.J. on this picnic for romantic reasons. At least not consciously. He’d simply wanted to get away from worries about MacKenzie for a few hours, and to share the beautiful day with her—as well as the news of the first steps he’d taken with his faith and with his parents. But now he realized that without her, he wouldn’t even have appreciated the beauty of this day. Or considered going to church. Or initiated contact with his parents. Or found himself on a picket line. Or planned an impromptu picnic.
After meeting A.J., Blake had quickly realized that she was going to make changes. In the shop, and in his life. He’d resisted those changes every step of the way. Had feared them. But now he realized that the changes she’d made breathed new life into his mind—and his heart. And he also realized something else.
He was a goner.
His gaze returned to her face. Her smile had faded, and there was uncertainty in her eyes as she sensed the shift in his mood. He also saw fear. Which he understood. Giving your heart to someone special, then losing that person, would breed fear. And he was afraid, too. Of trusting. Of putting his welfare in someone else’s hands. Perhaps that was why he’d never married. Why he’d never even gotten serious about any of the women he’d dated.
Until now.
Blake stared at A.J., a woman he had once considered the most unlikely possible candidate for a wife. Just a few months ago he had wanted to wring her neck. When had his feelings grown so serious? All he knew was that thanks to Jo—and maybe to an even higher power—this special woman had come into his life. Yes, they were different. Yes, they had disagreements. Yes, they were bound to clash. But they were both changing. They were beginning to recognize and value the unique qualities they each brought to their relationship. And they absolutely could not deny the chemistry between them. They’d certainly tried to. But it was growing stronger every day. And they needed to deal with it.
Slowly Blake turned to straddle the bench, his gaze never leaving her face. He saw the sudden rush of fear in her eyes. But he also saw the yearning.
“Blake, I…”
His fingers on her lips instantly silenced her, and she went absolutely still. “I know. You’re scared. So am I,” he said huskily. “I never planned this, never in a million years expected it. But there’s something between us, A.J. I know you feel it, too. I see it in your eyes.”
“Th-that doesn’t mean we should do anything about it.”
He reached over and gently brushed a stray tendril of hair off her face. “Do we have a choice?”
She didn’t respond immediately. When she did speak, her voice was choked. “I c-can’t t
ake the chance. It h-hurts too much to l-lose someone you love. I wouldn’t survive…again.”
With his free hand he reached for hers and comfortingly stroked the back with his thumb. “Does it hurt any less to be alone?” he asked gently.
When she didn’t respond, he reached over and rested his hands on her stiff shoulders. He could feel her quivering, and he kneaded her taut muscles, realizing his own hands were none too steady.
“You know I would never hurt you, don’t you?” he said softly.
“Not on purpose. Eric wouldn’t have, either. That doesn’t make it hurt any less when someone is gone. And life doesn’t come with guarantees.”
He had no response to that. Because it was true.
“Besides, w-we’re too different,” she said unevenly.
That was something he could respond to. “What’s that old saying about opposites attracting?”
“I—I’m not sure I ever believed that.”
“Me neither. Until now. Besides, I don’t think we’re as different as we once thought. And the differences we do have seem to complement each other. That’s not a bad thing, is it?”
“I guess not.”
“Besides, after one kiss the attraction might fizzle anyway. Then our problem is solved.”
She managed the ghost of a smile. “This is sure an odd conversation.”
His own lips quirked up wryly. “Well, our relationship hasn’t exactly developed along conventional lines. Why start following the norm now?”
He felt the tension in her shoulders ease slightly.
“I’m not even sure I remember how to do this,” she said with disarming honesty. “It’s been a long time. You’ll probably be disappointed.”
He lifted one hand from her shoulder and traced the outline of her face with a gentle finger. “I doubt that.” When he touched her lips, she drew in a sharp breath. “Come here. Let me hold you for a minute.” Without waiting for her to respond, he closed the distance between them and pulled her close, cradling her head against his shoulder. It was an embrace of comfort and reassurance—but unlike the other times he’d held her, it was also an embrace of anticipation.