He pounded his fist into his leg and returned to his seat. “I’m not going after her.”
For several minutes, he actually stayed put and continued to repeat his vow. He even gulped down his wine.
Yes, for a whole four minutes he did not go after her.
Then he leaned back and the box he brought home for her caught the corner of his eye. The words she spoke, both this afternoon and at the sink, echoed around him. Why was any of this even important when he lived without her for twenty years?
No, he existed for twenty years.
He took a swig directly out of the wine bottle, practically knocked over his chair getting up, and made his way upstairs after grabbing the blasted box.
At what was once his guest room, but now was her room, he knocked and opened the door.
“Drew.” She sat at the edge of her bed, but turned away from him the second he entered.
If she planned on leaving, it wouldn’t be any time soon. Her room was a disaster zone, with clothing and possessions strewn all over.
Rather than asking if he could talk to her, he sat down next to her, putting the box in front of him. “Remember when we were in the middle of filming somewhere in the middle of nowhere and none of us had a formal graduation from high school, so we made our own ceremony?”
Though she didn’t look in his direction, she nodded.
“I remember you being upset because we didn’t have a prom, but you were the only girl so our dates were limited.”
At last, she turned. “I would have been too scared to go with who I wanted to anyway.”
Well, at least she owned it. "I just wanted to disappear." He might as well own it as well, and he reached into the box and pulled out the oversized, ornate frame containing his degree. “So, after everything went down, I had to go. It was weird at first, like I was playing a role, but I liked Isaac because no one knew him. He had a clean slate, and he could try to be what Drew wanted to be, but instead became an actor.” He pushed the diploma over to her lap.
She ran her fingers over his name.
“I legally changed my name and went abroad. Instead of studying astronomy, I went into biochemistry because maybe I was sick of stars and I wanted some answers to how the body works."
She sniffed and continued to stare at the diploma.
"I have to admit that I didn’t want to leave school. It was safe, but then suddenly I was writing a dissertation on stabilizing polyphenols and I had my doctorate degree and maybe that’s why I still like teaching.”
“When you lecture at UCLA do your students call you Dr. Abrams?” she asked in a whisper.
“Yes, and it’s really creepy.” He gave her a light elbow. “Of course, now that it’s out that I am in fact Drew Fulton, I think my classes may be a little more popular.”
She let out a laugh.
“When I went to my graduation ceremony, and I was decked out in my doctoral gown and hood, one of the first thoughts I had was wondering what you’d think if you saw me like that.” He bent down and handed her a picture of him in the outfit.
Rather than chuckling or smiling, she hugged the picture to her chest. “What was the second thought you had?”
“I wished you were there.”
Still holding the picture, she laid her head on his shoulder.
“I decided to open the lab when I wanted to create my own formulations, and I got a few bites from some accounts I still have who wanted me to compound some solutions for them.” He tried to give her a fast history of the last two decades and reached into the box once more. “What I lacked however, is someone with a flair for design.”
He pulled out a sample ring of different ceiling tiles, deciding not to tell her he had half his staff tracking down any contractor to get this for her. “I was hoping you would make your mark.”
She plucked the ring out of his hand and set it on her lap.
“You know? I was lucky because you let me watch you all these years.”
She turned her face up to him.
“Yes.” He stared down at her, taking her all in. “I got to watch your movies and I got to read about you in the paper and on the Internet. I now understand why so many people think they know celebrities. It’s like your whole life is on display.”
“It is.” Like earlier, she touched his cheek.
“You let me live with you, even if you didn’t know it, but I didn’t do the same.” Unable to resist, he took hold of her hand and kissed her wrist, spying the scar she spoke of, a little white raised jagged line on the side of her hand. He had no choice but to kiss the visible proof of her pain.
“Oh.” She let out a little gasp, joy, surprise, delight?
He didn’t know, but wanted to find out. First, he needed to make some things clear. “I don’t want you to go. You need your chance to live with me.”
Instead of answering, she wrapped her arm around his neck.
Before he gave in, he needed to know. “Erin, I want you to stay here and I want you to go on the road trip with me. Bambi understands the situation with us.”
She put the items he gave her aside and pulled him closer. “Did you enjoy making love to me?” Her breath brushed against his lips.
“It was the experience of a lifetime.” He stopped himself from kissing her. “Erin, answer my question.”
“Make love to me now, please.” She kept hold of him and leaned back on the bed. “Do it because you know I want you.”
“Erin.” Wise to her game, he tensed, resisted. It was all too easy to let go around her.
With a sigh, she shook her head. “We already took one road trip together and then I didn’t see you for twenty years.”
“It’s always your way.” He pushed back and managed to find his strength to get off the bed.
“I think that’s hardly true. For twenty years, you called the shots.” One leg bent, she remained reclined on the bed. No matter the situation, she struck a pose.
“And now I know why.” Reminding himself not to take his eyes off her, he backed up.
“Don’t go, Drew.” She reached out for him.
“I’m Isaac, remember.” He stopped at the threshold.
She simply gazed at him.
“I’m never going to beg you again.” He went against his own vow. No wonder she always held the upper hand. Something was most definitely wrong with him.
“I was the one who came to you begging.”
“I never saw this movie.” Finally, he stepped into the hall.
“What movie?” she called after him.
“With whatever character you’re playing tonight.” He headed for his room. “You should have won an Oscar.”
HOLLYWOOD STARBURST
FADE IN:
INT. STEVEN’S GRANDPARENT’S HOME - DAY
ROXY is standing on a stepstool in the kitchen, piles of dishes are all over the counter, and she is scrubbing out the cabinets.
STEVEN’S GRANDMOTHER joins Roxy and puts a plate of cookies and glass of milk on the counter.
STEVEN’S GRANDMOTHER
Come take a break. How is everything going?
ROXY comes down off the stepstool and looks between the cookies and Steven’s Grandmother.
ROXY
I believe I have organized every nook, cranny, drawer and cabinet in your home. After I finish here, I’ll start on the garage.
ROXY takes a cookie and with half-closed eyes bites into it.
STEVEN’S GRANDMOTHER smiles and pushes the milk closer to Roxy.
STEVEN’S GRANDMOTHER
Everything does feel exceptionally clean and tidy. You’re a hard worker.
ROXY brushes her hair out of her eyes.
ROXY
I feel accomplished.
STEVEN’S GRANDMOTHER
You are accomplished, and I love having you here, but I have to ask. Once you finish the garage what are you going to do?
ROXY looks down
STEVEN’S GRANDMOTHER
No matter
where you end up, you have to go back to your roots. You may not end up there, you may take many twists and turns, but I think you need to make your trip full circle. Only then will you be able to move on.
ROXY nods and glances up at Steven’s Grandmother.
ROXY
I’m scared.
STEVEN’S GRANDMOTHER
If you weren’t there would be something wrong with you.
STEVEN’S GRANDMOTHER cups Roxy’s cheek.
STEVEN’S GRANDMOTHER
You need to get back, and you need to do it on your own. You have the money you earned working here, and you have one more thing.
STEVEN’S GRANDMOTHER takes Roxy’s hand and guides her though the kitchen and into the garage.
STEVEN’S GRANDFATHER, an older attractive and stylish man waves and steps back away from a huge vintage Lincoln sedan.
ROXY shakes her head.
ROXY
I can’t take that.
STEVEN’S GRANDMOTHER
(Laughs)
This is part of your job. I need you take this car over to my son. Steven’s father. I couldn’t think of anyone I trust more to deliver the car.
ROXY turns to Steven’s Grandmother and hugs her.
ROXY
Part of me wants to stay here, part of me wants to run away.
STEVEN’S GRANDMOTHER pats Roxy’s back.
STEVEN’S GRANDMOTHER
What does the biggest part say?
ROXY
I have to work hard and see this through to the end.
Chapter Thirteen
ONCE UPON A TIME a six-year-old girl with brilliant blue eyes, blonde hair, and none of that awkward chubbiness showed up at a casting call. Without even having to wink and or smile won the coveted part as the smart ass daughter to a one-season sitcom about a family who lived in a department store and all the crazy antics.
Thankfully for one Erin Holland, and one Erin Holland’s mother, her next role was right around the corner, another sitcom followed by a stint on a soap opera, and even a drama, all until her big break playing the role every teen girl coveted.
Life was good when she worked. Her mother couldn't find a pedestal high enough for her. Between roles when most child actors took a break, visited friends, went to school, her mother made them sit in the studio apartment in Hollywood and look for any way her talent could be sold.
Mr. Hollendanger, who preferred not going by his daughter’s stage name of Holland, checked out right around the time her mother tried sleeping her daughter’s way to the top. When he passed away seven years later, Erin had to threaten to cut her hair to be allowed to leave a location shoot to go to the funeral. Of course, when the former Mrs. Hollendanger did her the favor of leaving her worldly life behind, Erin decided she was too busy on set to do anything but send an arrangement of tasteful flowers. It seemed fitting.
If her mother could see her now sitting in an agent’s office hoping to get a bite, she would die on the spot. Too bad the witch wasn’t here.
There was only one person on the planet who understood. One person whose parents made her mother look like a Midwest homemaker. Exactly one person who she could tell these thoughts to, and two days ago, she crushed him by telling him she would leave, right? Who was she protecting?
The hole in her chest widened, and she slipped her hand into her bag to get her phone.
“The second I heard your name, I told my assistant someone had to be making a joke.” Rick Southern, agent of many of her co-stars through the years, joined her in his office.
Playing the game, she didn’t as much as glance in his direction. Instead, she crossed her legs, and waited with her hand still on her device. Part of her wanted to walk out and call Drew. They hadn’t spoken since he walked out of her bedroom, and he would be leaving in a few of hours for his road trip with the blonde roadkill.
“I almost feel like asking you for an autograph.” Rather than sitting across from her at his desk, he stood in front of her. The personification of an agent in a no-doubt gifted designer suit, slicked back hair, and features only suitable for a screen door, not the silver screen, he smiled down at her.
She let go of the phone, found her marker and whipped it out of her bag. “Do you want me to sign a body part or would you like an 8 by 10?”
“So, the rumors are true, you are a little vixen.”
She’d been called worse. “Is that the word on the street?”
He crossed his arms. “No, the word on the street is the agent you’ve had since before your Stardust days dropped you like a burnt out starlet.”
Trained for a lifetime to only show the emotions she chose, she sighed and glanced down at her manicure. “Funny, how the word on the street can be so very wrong, because I recall the story going something like I wouldn’t give him everything he wanted and we chose to part ways.” For pure effect and to make sure her point came across, she paused to look up at him. “But I am a vixen, so I guess you can never be too sure what is real and what is Hollywood.”
Rick nodded.
If she could wrap this up, she might be able to see Drew before he left. “However, what is true is I don’t like to put my own deals together.”
“What are you saying, Ms. Holland?”
“I’m yours to lose.” She brushed her hair back from her face.
“Do you have any deals now?” he asked. “Anything that needs to be negotiated?”
“I’ve worked since I was six years old, so I took a little break.” At the moment she missed the lab and Hollywood Glow and Drew. The first time in a long while, she felt like she was worth something when she sat in Drew's office and spouted off some of the knowledge she knew about marketing.
“Of course I’ll sign you, but I like my clients to do some footwork.”
Before shooting back a snarky remark, she waited. Agents were supposed to get the work, not the actors.
“Oh, your silence tells me you’re concerned.” He walked around the desk, taking his chair. “Let me also tell you that your appearance here shows me that besides a falling out with an agent you’ve had over half your life, you’re not getting the roles like you once were, you’ve gone a little soft and lost a little ground. Your social media is crap, are you not in this world?”
She pressed her lips together. “I email.”
“You’ve totally disconnected from your fans.” As if the whole situation were giving him a headache, he pressed his fingers to his temple. “In this day and age you can’t be aloof—they want to know everything down to what you had for breakfast. No one uses email anymore unless they’re over forty.”
Her mouth fell open. She hadn’t hit the big one yet.
“I would think with the Hollywood Stardust anniversary and the announcement of the sequel finally being made, roles and appearances should be plentiful.” He strummed his fingers on the desk. “Look at your cast mates, Logan Alexander is all over now that he gave his beloved new bride the sequel as an engagement present. If the movie goes well, which it will, he will turn into one of those celebrity directors, and he had to overcome being the bad guy.”
The fanfare on Logan’s token of love to Ivy, and the buzz around casting would keep him in the press for months. A trickle of sweat traveled down her spine, but she refused to squirm.
“The buzz is that Ryder Scott may throw his hand into production with the movie, and he’s made some late night talk show rounds while he continues to work on his never ending independent flick.” Rick averted his eyes to his computer, clicked his mouse several times, and spun the monitor around to her. “And Drew Fulton or Isaac whatever? The man spoke one time at the Stardust party, but he is more relevant than you right now.”
“He hasn’t been seen in twenty years,” she whispered. Of course everyone wanted to know what happened to him.
“If you’re going to give me excuses, you probably should go down the street to my colleague, she loves has-beens.”
For the second time in less than two w
eeks, someone suggested the third rate agent to her. Shelly Terry was famous for taking any old star and turning them into a second rate show piece. Once an actor ended up with her, it was the end. The black hole of existence left for only the most desperate, those stars left with barely any glow and no money. Truth be told, Rick Southern was only second rate, but he had some successes under his belt.
“Are you just going to sit there silent or are you going to tell me you need help?” He stared at her.
Heat built behind her eyes, and she didn’t move, didn’t speak.
“Tell me you’ll do what it takes because you’re Erin Holland.”
Her muscles tensed in an instinct to run, get out of there.
She forced herself to inhale. If she faced her life, she would admit she didn’t know how to do anything else but live in the land of make believe. “I came to you because I need to freshen up my career. Now, I’ll do what it takes, the question is, will you?”
“All right then.” His smile grew. He leaned back. “I have a thought.”
“Are you going to keep it a secret?” She glanced at the clock. She had to see Drew before he left. Last time he left, she almost missed him, when she was too caught up with being Erin, the star of Hollywood Stardust. Playing stupid games with Ryder, Logan and Brian, she let the one person she wanted leave without asking where he was going or when he would be back until it was too late. Her heart sped.
Limelight (Hollywood Stardust) Page 15