“I love you both so much but I have to move on. I will always love you but I can’t keep on going the same way that I have been” he told them. He turned around to leave and hoped things would get better. His first thing he had to do was apologize to Shelby. A few days later Shelby made it back into town and told her dad she would work the morning shift. She was refilling a coffee cup when Stephen showed up and sat on the barstool by the counter.
“Hello” he said to her. “Hello” she said back. “I was wondering if we could talk.”
“Sure just let me go let the other waitress know.” They walked down the sidewalk and found a bench to sit down. “Shelby I am so sorry for what I said to you the other day.”
“It’s alright I know I am not much to look at” she said looking down. “Shelby your one of the most beautiful women I have ever met” he told her smiling. “I have been trying to work through some things the last few days. I know that you feel the connection between us. I just don’t know what to do about it. I don’t know if I am ready to date someone again or if you would even be interested.”
“Of course I would be interested but I feel like we should get to know each other better and become friends first” Shelby told him. “Good I am glad were on the same page.”
“I have an idea” she said smiling. “What is it?” he asked. “My brother is hosting a cooking class next weekend. We could go as friends. I might need some support with the way that I cook” she told him laughing and he laughed with her. “I think that would be great” he told her. Over the next week he came in and they would talk and be friendly towards each other.
“What is going on with you two?” Haley asked her. “He told me he was sorry. I think he needs a friend and I want to be that friend.”
“Good maybe I scared him the other day.”
“What are you talking about?”
“While you were gone he came in one day with Samantha and I might have threatened him to stay away from you.”
“Haley what is wrong with you?” Shelby asked laughing. “Who knows? I am glad things are working out.”
“I am to” she told her laughing. The night arrived for the cooking class and Stephen met her out front. Shelby looked just as nervous as he felt and that made him feel a little better. “Are you ready for this?” she asked him teasing. “Should I be afraid?” he asked her smiling. “I would be” she said serious and they both laughed. When they went inside they seen Samantha and Ryan.
“Hey guys” Samantha said coming over to hug them both. “What are you doing here?” Stephen asked them. “Ryan was getting tired of getting take out and told me that we needed to take this class.”
“What about you guys?” Samantha asked smiling. She was happy to see them together. “Well I talked your brother into coming with me. Hopefully I won’t poison him” she said laughing. She looked to see her brother smiling at Shelby. “I will go sign us in” she told them. “You look a lot happier tonight” Samantha told him. “Thanks” he said. “Are you two dating?” she asked him. “No I don’t know if I am ready for that so she agreed to be friends with me first.”
“I think that is nice of her” she told him. “I do to I guess we better get our seats.”
They were having a good time and Shelby ended up not burning any of the cookies they made. They were about done when there was a loud sound of thunder from outside. Stephen jumped and reached out for her hand.
“Are you okay?” Shelby asked him. “I am fine I think I need to go” he told her and ran out. Samantha noticed what happened and came over to her. “Hey what happened?” she asked concerned. “I think we need to talk” Shelby told her. “It sounds serious” Samantha said. “It is” Shelby told her frowning.
CHAPTER FIVE
“Why don’t you guys follow me over to the diner and we can talk” Shelby told her. “Of course” she told her. They arrived a few minutes later and Shelby brought some coffee over to the table. “What happened back there?” Samantha asked concerned. “Have you noticed anything strange or odd concerning Stephen lately?”
“What do you mean?” Ryan asked her. “Does he tend to jump or get upset at loud noises?”
“Now that you mention it there has been a few occasions at work when something made a loud sound he would look irritated. Why do you?” ask Samantha asked her. “I don’t know if Stephen told you but before I went to visit my grandmother I went to speak with Stephen.” “Yes he told me you guys got in an argument.”
“We did but before that happened a car backfired and he tackled me down to the ground like he was protecting me. After it happened he got really upset. I went to stay with my grandmother and when I told her what happened she told me a story of a man who worked for her and had been a happy person before he went into the army and when he came home he got agitated a lot. She did some research and seen that a lot of his symptoms were compared to PTSD.”
“You think Stephen has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?” Samantha asked worried. “At the time I didn’t know. It was just that one occurrence and when I came back home he seemed fine. Then tonight before the cooking class was over there was a loud boom on thunder that sounded. He jumped and grabbed for my hand and squeezed. I am not saying that he has it but I think that it’s something you should talk to him about.”
“Thank you for sharing this with us. The more that I think about it the more I am beginning to realize you might be right” Ryan told her. “I will speak to Stephen about it tomorrow” Samantha told her giving her a hug goodbye. That night Shelby laid in bed and hoped that Stephen would be alright. The next day was Saturday and Samantha thought she should go over and talk to Stephen alone. She had spent hours on the computer last night researching and she was worried about her brother. She had called him this morning telling him they needed to talk and he had invited her over. She knocked on the door and he let her in. “Hey Samantha is everything okay? You sounded worried on the phone.”
“I just need to talk to you” she told him. “Come on in” he told her. “So what is going on?” he asked her. “I am concerned about you.”
“Me?” he asked shocked. “Yes I don’t want you to get mad at Shelby.”
“Why would I get mad at her?” he asked confused. “She came to me last night concerned. She is worried you have PTSD.”
“Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder?” he asked her. “You know what that is.”
“Of course when we came back home they had counselor’s talk to us about it.”
“That has been almost a year ago. Is there any way that you would go get checked?” she asked with tears in her eyes. “You really think I have this?” he asked her. “Shelby said loud sounds seem to affect you and Ryan has noticed how you get irritated at work if there are loud sounds also.”
“Fine I will make an appointment and prove to you that I am fine” he said smiling. Samantha tried to smile back but she was afraid of what the doctor was going to say to him. A few days later Stephen made the appointment and they tested him for it. The doctor came in a few minutes later and had a seat. “From the test we performed and what you have told us it looks like you have it” the doctor told him. “What?” Stephen asked him shocked. “It’s not that uncommon. A lot of men come back from war with it.”
“How bad can it get?” he asked him. “Some people with severe cases try to harm themselves or others but that is because they don’t come to the doctor.”
“What happens now?” he asked. “I am going to give you a number of a good counselor I know. He helps a lot of people with this problem. I am also going to prescribe you some medicine. You should start to feel a lot better once you start taking this medicine.”
“Do I need to stay away from family and friends?” he asked worriedly. “Of course not I know this was not what you wanted to hear but you did the right thing by coming in and letting us help you. Nothing needs to change in your day to day life. Once you start counseling and taking the medicine I think you will see that you will feel a lot be
tter. It doesn’t mean there won’t be days when you don’t have a bad day but things will start looking up in no time.”
That night he went over to see Samantha and Ryan. As soon as he went into the living room Samantha started to cry. “You have it don’t you?” she asked him. “Yes I do but I am going to be put on medicine and have counseling. If you two don’t feel comfortable around me let me know” he told them. “Are you crazy?”
“You’re our family” Samantha told him and came over to hug him. He looked over her shoulder at Ryan and they both rolled their eyes. The first counseling session was rough. He didn’t like to talk about his feelings but knew that he needed to in order to get better. Over the next month Stephen did as much research as he could. He knew the doctor told him he could be around family and friends but he was cautious. He went to see a counselor once a week and he had good weeks and bad but he felt like he was doing better. His friendship with Shelby was helping a lot to. He had told her what the doctor had said and she stuck by him and became the friend that he needed. Tonight he was coming over to her house to try a new dish she was trying. They had continued going to cooking class and they both were learning to cook.
“Well what did you think of my meatloaf?” Shelby asked him. “It was great and in fact I would say it was better than your brothers.” Shelby couldn’t help it and laughed. “What?” he asked her.
“I did something wrong to my meatloaf earlier and it turned out looking green. I was so afraid to even touch it I threw it out and ordered one from the diner.”
“What am I going to do with you?” he said shaking his head. “I know I don’t think that I will ever get cooking down good. Although I did succeed in making chocolate chip cookies. I made two dozen but there are only a few left. They were just sitting there saying eat me” she said laughing and he joined her. “So are you ready for tomorrow?” he asked her. Shelby was finally getting to start her first day as a teacher. “I hope so I have the room all ready and I was able to meet my students and parents a few nights ago.”
“I am sure you will do fine” he told her. “I am sure your right I am just nervous about it.” The next day after school let out Shelby went over to the auto shop. Stephen was there alone working on a car. He heard footsteps and turned around to see Shelby standing there smiling. “Hey how was your day?”
“It was so amazing” she told him. “I have a great group of kids and I have a feeling that things are going to be amazing this year” she told him. “See I told you that things would be alright.”
“How were things for you today?” she asked him. “They were good we had a pretty busy day and now I am trying to change a battery and then I am going home.”
“Well I won’t keep you but I thought that you would like to know how my day went.”
“Thanks for coming by I am glad it went well.”
“Thanks again” she said giving him a hug. When she moved back he was looking at her with dark eyes. “I should go” she said out of breath. Stephen watched her go and looked at the ceiling. “Lily I have a feeling that I am in trouble when it comes to Shelby” he said frowning.
CHAPTER SIX
Shelby went home shaking. It was like every time that they touched she felt a connection to him. I know he wanted to be friends right now but she didn’t know how much more that she could take of it. Every time that she was around him she wanted to be with him. Over the next few weeks she tried to keep her distance from him. When he called or texted she made the excuse that she was busy. He had called her a few minutes ago and she said she was getting things ready for school. She hated lying to him but she didn’t know what else to do. She was sitting on the couch eating ice cream and watching a movie when there was a knock on the door. She went to open it and was shocked to see Stephen standing there.
“Stephen what are you doing here?” she asked shocked. “I thought I could come bring some dinner over while you preparing things for school.” He didn’t wait for an invitation and went into the living room to see her ice cream out and a movie playing. “What is going on Shelby? You have not wanted to do anything for a few weeks and it’s obvious that you were lying to me.”
“I am sorry Stephen. I don’t know how to say this? Why don’t you start at the beginning?”
“When I came back from my grandmother’s and you told me that you wanted to be friends I was fine with that. I even understood and was happy to be your friend, but the more time we spent together the harder it became. What I am about to say to you is not easy for me. I have been avoiding you because I realized I am in love with you.” Stephen looked at her shocked. “I know that you’re not ready for that yet and I completely understand. I also know that you may not ever be ready for a relationship with me. I know that there is an age difference and that you are working through your PTSD and losing your family. I guess what I am saying is I can’t keep on putting myself in a spot where all I will be is a friend” she said looking down. “Shelby I don’t know what to say? I don’t know that I am ready for this yet. I think part of it is the fact that I want you to be able to be with someone normal. I will never feel comfortable having children again. I can’t put myself through that. You need to think long and hard if I am what you want” he said and left the house.
Shelby fell on the couch with tears in her eyes. She knew this would happen when she had told him the truth. Over the next month they were both miserable and everyone could see it. John decided it was time to talk to Stephen about this. He could tell they were both attracted to each other. He invited him to go fishing. So here they were out on the boat. “So how are things going?” John asked Stephen. “There okay” he mumbled. “I think it’s time that we talked” John told him. “What about?” Stephen asked confused. “About the fact that you’re miserable and you’re making my daughter that way.” Stephen looked at him shocked. He had no idea that john knew he had feelings for her.
“Don’t look so shocked. I can tell when there is tension between two people and you two definitely had it in the beginning. After Shelby came back from Oklahoma it seemed like you two were getting along better. But I have noticed in the last month or two how you to look so sad all the time.”
“I don’t know what to say?” I have been dealing with a lot. I know I told you I have PTSD and I have been going to counseling. I think by me going I am beginning to slowly let go of Lily and Timothy. Then there is the issue of our age. I am only four years younger than you and you’re telling me that you would be okay with me dating your daughter?” John looked at him and smiled.
“Let me tell you a story. My mother Paige and my father Pete were not the same age. He was ten years older than my mom. They were worried at the beginning of their relationship also but they overcame it. Let me tell you a secret. If you love a person enough you can make it through anything. So what else is stopping you?” he asked him.
“You’re telling me that you honestly wouldn’t be offended if I started to date Shelby?”
“Of course not and so what if I was. It is between you and Shelby not what everyone else thinks. Let me ask you this do you love my daughter?” Stephen looked at him for the first time and smiled.
“I think I fell in love with your daughter the day she came out and demanded to know what she had done to offend me.”
“Then everything else will work out. I just want you to know that you have my blessing to date my daughter.”
“Thank you” Stephen said. A few days later Shelby had come over for Friday night dinner at his dad’s. “Hey where is everyone?” Shelby asked him giving him a hug. “I asked for it to just be us tonight.”
“What is going on?” she asked confused. “I took Stephen out fishing the other day.”
“Oh how was he?” Shelby asked sadly. “About as miserable as you look.” He told her about what he had talked to him about and she looked at him with tears in his eyes. “I don’t know what his decision will be but he would be a fool not to be with you.”
“Thank you
daddy” she told him and gave him a hug. It took Stephen a few more weeks but he had finally had enough. His first stop was to the cemetery. He walked over and laid some flowers on Lily and Timothy’s graves.
“It’s me again Lily. I don’t know why this helps me to talk to you like this but it has been helping with the grieving process. At least that is what my counselor says. I don’t know when I will be over here again. I have finally made a decision about Shelby. If she will still have me I am going to ask her to give me a chance. I want you to know that I will always love you but I feel like I am making the right decision. I love Shelby and I feel like we could have a great life together” he said smiling. He drove away feeling a lot better about things. He drove over to her house to see her washing her car. He got out and when she seen him she smiled at him. That smile right there told him that he had made the right decision.
“Hey” he told her. “Hey” she said back to him. “Do you have time to talk?” he asked her. “Sure why don’t we sit on the porch” she told him. They walked over to her porch swing and sat down. “How have you been?” he asked her. “Alright how have you been?” she asked him. “You want the truthful answer. I have been miserable without you.”
“You have?” she asked him. “Of course I have. We both knew in the beginning that there was an attraction but I wanted to be your friend first. When we quit talking to each other I felt that loss. You have become one of my best friends and it hurts to not be able to talk to you every day.”
“I miss you two” she told him. “I went out fishing a few weeks ago with your dad” he told her. “I know he told me he talked to you.”
The Decision Page 3